MALI
I made a quick stop before I reached my destination.
I didn’t even bother to take my helmet off; I just flipped the visor up as I walked into the night.
I unscrewed the top off the bottle as I took a swig and made my way around the headstones in the grass.
When I reached my mother's headstone, it only held her name, birthdate, and date of death. My father couldn’t afford anything more, so he did what he could.
I stood there, took another swig, and dropped to my knees.
Tears spilled from my eyes as I stared at her headstone. “Joyce Angie Keyton. Wife, daughter, moth—,” I choked up. “Mother. My angel, my peace, and I’m so sorry. I’m sorry,” I cried.
The guilt that had been weighing on me was heavier than I imagined.
It was suffocating. I wiped my face with the back of my hand as I sat next to her.
“Ma, I don’t know where I went wrong. Ever since that day, I haven’t been right.
I’ve been trying to find my way, but I can’t.
This,” I said as I held the fifth of whiskey in the air.
“It has been my only friend, but it’s killing me.
My brothers don’t fuck with me. My friends don’t take me seriously and I-I finally got her Ma. ”
I began to rip off the weeds from her headstone as I continued to talk to her.
I laughed. “Remember when I first told you about her. You said, boy, she likes you, but what she doesn’t want is a boy with no heart.
When it’s time, you two will meet again; you need to grow up first. I thought you were playing, trying to shut me up, but it looks like you were right.
Symphony Harrington, the girl everyone wanted, and I finally had. I guess you were right.”
I lay my head on her headstone as I finished off my drink. The comfort of my mother gave me a little peace, but I knew it would never be the same. I tossed the bottle as I staggered to get up. “I’m going to fix it. I promise that Xavier and Jalen will be cool. I fucking promise.”
I knew change needed to happen. I was accepting that I did have a problem, that my liquid lover had been deceiving me, and that I did have a heart; I just needed to give it life.
Nobody had faith in me, but I had it in myself.
I know going through this fight alone would be tough, but I was strong, and the bounce back is what matters.
I took one last look at the cemetery before I flipped my visor back down and sped off.
I knew there was no chance of Symphony forgiving me, so I decided I was going to give her that necklace tomorrow after a nigga sobered up some.
I merged onto the highway to beat the liquor that had started revving up in me again.
I’d normally ride in the fast lane, but tonight I decided to stay in the slower one.
As I tried merging into the lane for my exit, a car coming onto the highway was going so fast that I barely had time to move out of the way. “Fuck!”
Screech! Boom!