Chapter 33
Rocky Road
I want to take a nap for a month, but a pint of gelato will do for now. Rudy hands it to me, and I smile before I stab it with my spoon.
“Long ass day,” I murmur.
“Ja.”
We stand at the balcony doors, watching the storm outside.
The gelato does help bring down some of my nerves.
I want this day to be over. I want this week to be over.
This entire year actually. My mind jumbles trying to concentrate on each piece of news.
Giovanna and Renato’s betrayal. Vincenzo’s chaotic way of conducting deals.
Gabriel sending body parts. “…like a movie.”
A shiver runs over me, not from the gelato, as I recall what Vincenzo said and another flash of the past. A scar, huh? I don’t remember that part.
“Barchen?” Rudy asks, touching my shoulder.
I shake off the thoughts, and I look up at his concerned face. “You know what I would love?” He grunts in reply. “Three days working in the garage with rock music playing. Each day a bike ride and greasy takeout for dinner.”
He chuckles. “Good plan.”
“Just have to get home in one piece.”
“We will. And we’ll do that as soon as we get back.”
I have another bite, sighing as the rain pours. “Hopefully, cause I’m not having as much fun arguing with mobsters. Surprise, surprise. But given the circumstances, I guess I should get used to telling off mafia bosses, huh? Pretty good record today. Three already.”
Quiet again, until he asks, “Are…you fine staying in the mafia?”
I freeze with the spoon in my mouth. I look up at the big man, who tilts his head in question. Blue eyes calm and gentle.
“Yeah, as frustrated as these people make me, yeah,” I say softly. “Not the life I would’ve bet on having, but I’ve accepted it. But…what about you? It was never the Crew’s intention to stay.”
“Neither was yours.”
“Touché.”
“Spartan and you would never keep us prisoners. If we truly wanted to, we could leave.”
“Why don’t you? Maybe go after bigger dreams?”
He smirks, shaking his head. “No, this is what I want.”
“Really?” I eye him teasingly.
“I lived a full life before him,” Rudy says roughly, crossing his arms over his chest. “All I care about now is the club. I’m content being a Forgotten Demon. Good with driving his ass around, and now yours, barchen.” He shrugs. “Good at being a mobster, too.”
I snort. “Maybe we both are.”
He glances outside. “I need to check with Igor and Garett. Hopefully, the boss doesn’t take too long with that anarchic gangster.”
I laugh under my breath. Yeah, that’s a way to describe him. “Well, it’s good weather for me to sit back and watch a movie. So, I’ll do that.”
“Call me if you need, barchen.”
He starts to leave, heading for the door. Something tugs at me, melancholic like as if I need to start gathering answers before the end. I suddenly ask, “Ever gonna tell me what that means? Your nickname for me?”
He stops, turning back to me with a quizzical look. “You haven’t looked it up? With all the language learning?”
I shake my head, walking over to put the gelato down on the counter. “I figured you didn’t tell me for a reason, and if it was special to you that I wouldn’t pry. It’d have felt…wrong to find out without you wanting to tell me.”
The all-around driver, ex-wrestler, mobster looks at me tenderly. Rudolph slowly walks back over, towering over me as I tilt my head back to see his face. Surprise flicks over me as he cups my face gently, placing a kiss on the top of my head.
“It means ‘little bear’ and is a term of endearment for someone we like, but for me…someone I cherish who’s a fighter.”
I stare up at the first Forgotten Demon I met.
Rudolph, the first one whom I learned their name and spoke to.
I remember the confusion on his face when I thanked him outside the Italian Lily.
The usually quiet, frowning giant to everyone else.
And then I remember the first time he called me barchen after that long ass day in the café.
Before bike rides. Before late night talks with Isaac. Before knowing the truth.
“Danke,” I whisper. “Rudy.”
“Willkommen…little bear.” Another affectionate kiss is placed upon my hair. He squeezes my shoulders gently, smiling as he turns away. “Ah, you should know it’s commonly used with men.” I snort laughter. “Figured you wouldn’t care.”
I shake my head as he winks, leaving the room.
Tears gather, and I quickly wipe them away.
I put away the gelato and go sit on the sofa bringing my legs up as I lay my chin on my knees.
And then oddly, my mind goes quiet. It becomes blank as I stare out at the rain.
I wait for the anxiety to come from yelling and confronting people today, but it doesn’t.
For now, I’m fine. Or perhaps I’ve reached the numbed-out part.
Every few moments, it seems like the storm will let up, but then it continues raging.
Sighing, I start looking for the remote when I hear the door open. I jolt slightly, turning as Leo closes the door behind him and removes his jacket.
“How’d the rest of the meeting with Harvey Dent go?” I ask.
“Who?”’
“Vincenzo. He doesn’t seem to be off his rocker enough to emulate Joker.” Thank goodness.
He sighs heavily, coming over to sit next to me. “Well enough, given the start of that conversation.”
“Seriously, I think he has a death wish.”
“He’s never been the straightforward type, sometimes helpful and sometimes…
extremely annoying.” Leo leans back, placing his arm over the back of the sofa behind me.
His leg comes up, crossing over the other casual like as if he just got home from a regular meeting.
“Renaldi’s organization will replace Salvadori’s.
He’ll get a bigger cut in profit margins, but it won’t put us in the red and I’ll continue business in Italy and Europe without Renato. Just smaller payout for us.”
“Why does something tell me it’s still a lot of money?”
“To the average household, yes. To a CEO of multiple companies and businesses, still yes,” he smirks. “But no more buying buildings on a whim.”
“Oh, whatever shall you do,” I tease, smirking back.
He reaches over, stroking back some of my hair. “I should’ve told you—”
I shake my head, grabbing his hand and not wanting to think about it. “It’s alright. I was a mess at the time, and the few weeks after. Probably best you didn’t because I think I would’ve spiraled more knowing that the photos still existed.”
“They don’t,” he murmurs. “Enigma and Isaac helped make it all disappear. What Gabriel received likely came straight from Caltz.”
Yup, one last thing to use against me. I exhale shakingly. “Thank you.”
Leo’s arm moves around my shoulder, tugging me against him as he loosens a long breath.
“What’s the next step?” I ask.
“We wait. Enjoy what time we have left in Rome, then go home.”
“Pretend we’re on our honeymoon after we just got married the other night?” I slide my gaze to him.
He whispers, “We’re just a pair of newlyweds.”
I giggle quietly, laying my head against his shoulder. His other hand sits on his lap, and I put my hand into it, holding it gently. We sit quietly as the storm continues.
“Vincenzo’s throwing a party,” Leo says suddenly, and I blink rapidly at him. “To celebrate our future collaborations, and our marriage. It was a party already happening, but he wants an excuse for us to show face.”
“A visual of us being on his side and not Renato’s, I’m guessing?”
“Exactly. I told him yes.”
Nervous laughter bubbles up. Good for Vincenzo’s partnership, even better to give the finger to Renato. A public display of severance.
“There’ll be a lot of people, just as a warning,” he says.
“Not surprised. But hey a party to basically spite your family more? Sounds like the perfect gift from him,” I muse. “Better than other gifts.”
He rubs his thumb over my wrist.
“You were incredible in there with him,” he says, and a flicker of pride pulses through me.
“You’ve always had a spine of steel, unwilling to bend, but I am proud of you, Autumn.
” Tilting my head, I catch his eyes that are filled with adoration.
“Not to mention standing your ground against my family, even calling Giovanna a bitch.”
“She started it.”
The tone of my voice makes us both suddenly laugh. I press my face against his shoulder, unable to stop likely from pent up nerves. Our laughter finally subsides, and I grip his hand as I look up at him. Exhaustion lining his face, but less worn.
“I’m proud of you, too, Leo. None of this has been easy, for either of us, but I know especially for you. It’s not easy to have your life turned upside down and twisted after putting so much work into a future that may not be.”
He listens to me solemnly, and then looks out the balcony. His brows furrow, mouth working a little.
“I didn’t want to stay in the mafia in fear of becoming like any of them, especially my father,” he says quietly.
“Giovanna can be added to that list now. The other night, I almost was my father with Matteo.” He closes his eyes tightly.
“I realized I am very capable of becoming any of them. Always have. And hope that as long as I always have you, my dear Watson, I will not.”
“You don’t need me for that, Leo.”
“Yes, I do.” His voice is rough as he opens his eyes.
Hazel irises become misty, almost numb. “For now. Because for the first time in my life, I don’t mind being the ruthless mafia boss.
To burn everything to the ground if I must. The only one keeping me from doing so is you.
Not because I don’t trust myself, but due to me having enough. ”
He leans in close to place his forehead against mine, breath tickling across my skin.
“I am tired, dear Watson.” The strain in his voice makes my heart ache. “But having you beside me helps me remember the compassion you see in me. No matter how ruthless I can be.”
Lips press against mine, kissing me reverently.
So much of me wants to tell him that he’s always been kind and compassionate.
All those pieces were there before me, and it’s what helped me fall in love with him.
Except now, those aren’t the words he needs.
After facing fears and nightmares that have come true this past week.
Right now, the merciless mafia boss just needed to know he’s loved, and that his heart is protected.