Chapter Twenty-Three
A few weeks later, I jumped into a rideshare with Mack’s suit and my dress, sharing a garment bag in a way I’d dreamt about but never thought was a reality. We still hadn’t made any progress on any permanent moving decisions, but we were spending an adequate amount of time between one another’s places. Mostly his.
Flurries fell against the darkening sky, and I smiled to myself. My life felt a tiny bit magical, and I was allowing myself to live in it. My therapist had told me a week ago that I was permitted to enjoy love and life, whatever life meant to me. When I thought about it, I hadn’t enjoyed much other than work since I lost the baby.
Bringing myself back to the present, with December twenty-fifth only a few days away, it was looking as if it might be a white Christmas. I remembered being a little girl and wishing for snow every year. Paps would tell me to write to the North Pole and ask for a winter wonderland. I fell for it until I was about ten years old, and then I started to watch the weather report.
It was amazing to me how much of an optimist Paps continued to be after being shunned by Rosie’s family. Made me love him a little more. I believed he never blamed Milly for the actions of her parents. She was a young girl in a time when you didn’t speak up to your parents. This made me miss him a little more…and made me proud of myself for telling my parents how I felt. When I’d said no to Thanksgiving dinner and I finally let them know they’d never supported me when Jeremy left, it felt incredible. Milly never got to experience that kind of independence. Throwing open the car door, I stepped out into the dampening night.
I was thinking of the strong woman I’d never have a chance to meet when I was greeted by Mack’s doorman, wearing a Santa hat and smiling at me. He held the elevator for me, saying Mack was expecting me and wishing us a Merry Everything. I didn’t know if the last part was because Mack was Jewish, or he was being politically correct to everyone. Either way, I liked it. It had been gracious of Mack to decorate for both holidays inside his apartment, welcoming me into his life, but I had no idea in what capacity.
“Well, hello there,” the man in question said as I exited the elevator.
I couldn’t help the way my heart sped up and a shiver ran down my spine. The possibility of a happy ending was my kryptonite, and while I questioned what this was, I’d rather ride the high.
“Hi,” I said, breathless, and Mack grabbed the garment bag, pulling me in for a kiss.
“Come on, let’s see if we can have some fun before the party…”
“Grrr,” I growled. “I have to get ready, and I don’t want to be late…meeting your friends for the first time.”
Mack nodded and snatched me in for a quick kiss, this one with tongue, and I almost rethought my stand on being tardy.
Taking the bag and unzipping it, Mack whistled at my red sequined dress…
“You haven’t seen it on yet,” I declared with a wink. There was something about Mack that allowed me to joke freely.
“I was whistling at the service. I don’t know why I didn’t switch my business sooner. I like having you hand-deliver my clothes.”
“Ha ha…”
I strode through the living area, stealing my dress on the hanger from the bag, and kicking my shoes off at the edge of the carpet. I made a pit stop in front of the tree, breathing in the fresh smell before making my way to the back of the apartment to freshen up.
“Can I at least watch?” Mack trolled behind me, barefoot and wearing joggers and a T-shirt.
“Get ready, Mackenzie.”
“Oh, when she pulls out my full name, I better listen.”
It hit a soft spot in my heart when Mack didn’t protest my using his full name like Rosie had called him. When it came to this man, more wishes built in my mind as we got dressed.
All cleaned up, Mack took our selfie in front of the fridge. I pretended to be upset over the backdrop, but it was perfect.
“How would a nice Jewish guy know where to take Christmas photos?” he said. “Also, I may or may not have a few pints of peppermint bark ice cream inside there…”
“Oh, can we forget the party and stay home?”
I turned and flung open the freezer door and sure enough there were several containers of my personal vice.
“Later, we will indulge,” Mack teased with a wink.
“Hmmmm…”
He ignored the innuendo and took my hand. “Come on, let’s get a Christmas photo.”
Mack instructed me to stand in front of the tree and quickly took a solo picture before we went to meet Alex in the car.
“What about you?” I asked.
“I’d ruin all that beauty…” He squeezed my hand and I let the moment be.
Mack had decided to join his friends at a private party at his club. Despite being labeled a Holiday Soiree, it was really a Christmas party, and in the past, Mack never felt very festive—his words. But this year he did.
“What about Teddy? When do I get to meet the only person to ever get through to you?” I asked in the car, leaning my head on Mack’s shoulder.
“I predict he’ll soon blow into town, his gorgeous wife in tow, and wine and dine you. Tonight will be more than enough with these guys.”
As we pulled in front of the refurbished warehouse on the gray-bricked road, a valet opened my door and we were ushered through an unmarked brown door. Inside, the whole place glittered and sparkled with silver and gold tinsel hanging from the ceiling, and garland dusted in glitter lining every surface.
“Welcome,” the hostess said and directed us to a lounge upstairs for cocktails.
Inside the elevator, Mack tucked me in his shoulder and kissed the side of my temple. “You’re stunning, beautiful in and out,” he whispered, taking my hand.
Tingles fizzled in my veins at the prospect of what could be—my common theme lately. I appreciated the moment even more when we exited and were in a crush of people.
“Mack!” a tall man with a blondish beard hollered.
Mack led me in that direction where I met Spencer, who apparently was clean-shaven a few weeks ago. The two guys hugged, smacking one another on the back.
“Dude, you’ve been busy, and I grew a little facial hair because I’m going skiing next week…need to stay warm and other things…” Spencer explained as he joked with his arm around Mack.
“Oh? Is that so?” Mack asked, an eyebrow raised.
“Introduce me to your lady friend,” Spencer said, turning to look at me.
“Frankie, this is Spencer…the guy who dragged me out on a date when I’d already fallen for you.”
If I wasn’t standing in a public place, I might have started to tear up. I needed to protect my heart better but these tiny truth bombs from Mack were a punch in the gut and a knife straight down the vessel pumping blood into my body.
Instead of crying happy tears, I pretended to glare at Mack before saying, “Nice to meet you, Spencer. I won’t hold the date against you.”
Spencer took my hand and kissed it. “Frankie, I understand Frances is only for our dear Millsy to call you.”
I giggled like a schoolgirl. “Millsy has so many rules,” I teased.
Spencer shined a half smile, half smirk on me. With a wink he said, “That man does have too many rules, if you ask me.”
“Millsy is standing right here, so how about we get a drink and quit all the secret reveals?” Mack spoke in the third person, with an eyebrow raised.
He was absolutely adorable in an approaching-fifty way. I wanted to kiss my man’s face off, but I resisted.
After Mack suggested the drink, I said, “That would be too easy.”
“Easy is good…” He winked again, and I was officially smitten.
Spencer, who was watching the two of us, his gaze ping-ponging between our jabs, put his arm around me and said, “Come on, we can talk on the way. I like this little peanut.”
I went easily with Mack’s friend, who told me his best bud was a goner when it came to me. In turn, I told myself he was being kind.
Music played in the background, Bob Seger crooning “The Little Drummer Boy,” and candles burned on every windowsill as we joined a few more of Mack’s crew at the bar. A guy named Ryan handled introductions, and laughs were had… They’d apparently missed seeing Mack at Chelsea Piers or their exclusive golf club to hit some balls around, but he’d been busy with me, so they’d accept it.
I marveled at how the glitter theme had been carried up from downstairs. Between the holiday decorations, the champagne I’d ordered, and Mack’s friends all sharing the same thoughts—Mack was a goner—I was certainly consumed too.
Ryan was back to detailing how Mack’s golf game was going to shit because his mind had been on me. He was teasing and we were all smiling, and Mack winked at me.
Leaning in close, he whispered, “Let’s not tell them I’ve been playing with you.”
I couldn’t help but giggle; I was not a decent golf partner by any stretch of the imagination. It was one of the happiest moments of my life.
“Except, one great thing is he is using the Hamptons house again! We can’t wait for an invite,” Ryan quickly added.
“You have your own house,” Mack deadpanned, looking handsome in the charcoal gray suit we’d picked together, a Burberry tie that complemented the red in my dress, and velour loafers.
“You have a pool,” Ryan clapped back to Mack.
My mind wandered to the Hamptons, the special times we’d had there, and how it had somewhat become our place. I was deep in a memory of the pool when someone tapped on my shoulder. Before turning, I noticed a sour expression color Mack’s face.
“Jeremy.” His name slipped out of my mouth without warning as I turned and caught sight of who was behind me.
“Frankie, you’re here,” he said, his tone neither warm nor inviting.
I noted the tall brunette hanging on his side, too skinny, wearing a dress a size too small, and oblivious to who I was.
“Merry Christmas,” was all I could manage to say. I felt a seismic shift in the energy around me.
One second, I’d been standing with Ryan, sharing jokes, and in my mind reliving skinny-dipping with Mack. And the next, Mack was standing beside me, extending a hand to my ex-husband.
“Mackenzie Miller,” he offered, not giving his nickname. This wasn’t a pleasant introduction.
“Jeremy Ross.”
I watched the unlikely pair shake hands, swallowing back pride, fear, and agitation.
“What are you doing here?” The question flew out of my mouth faster than I could control it.
“Me? Well, I have many clients who go here…as you know…and I am invited here often. As for you, this doesn’t seem like the type of place a retail salesperson belongs, does it?”
I mentally pleaded with my ego to take his comments in stride.
“Are you a customer of Frankie’s?” Jeremy looked toward my date as he asked the question, his narrow, beady eyes honed on Mack, evil rolling off Jeremy.
“He’s not—” I said before Mack could interrupt. “He’s most certainly not,” I double confirmed. I didn’t know what Jeremy was trying to insinuate, but I didn’t care for it.
“Frances is with me. She’s my one,” Mack said, staring down my ex.
He didn’t use the term girlfriend or plus-one or anything trite. I was his one…that was what he said. My heart raced in my chest, making me fearful it might explode.
“Take it from me, Frankie is a lot more work than advertised.” Jeremy spat out the words.
“I’m sorry, how do you two know one another?” Suddenly the thin brunette spoke, slowly catching on.
“Tell you later, Bridget.” Jeremy tried to brush his date off. I recalled him using that trick with me.
“Ex-wife,” I told Bridget, looking at her smile fall. She obviously hadn’t known Jeremy had been married. I elaborated. “Dated in high school, grew up together, young sweethearts. It didn’t work out.”
“I quite like the challenge of being with Frances. She’s exactly who I need in my life. I’m up to the task,” Mack declared. “Now, I’m a member here and I appreciate that you’re an invited guest. So please go and have fun, but maintain your distance from us.”
“I wanted—” Jeremy started to say.
“We don’t care what you want. The man asked you to make yourself scarce.” Spencer piped up from the other side of me and made a go away sign with his hand.
“Now,” Mack emphasized.
I knew my date could be ruthless, but even with his early annoyance at me, I never experienced it happening until this moment. Now, at least I understood how he became so successful. His dominance was palpable.
“Come on, Bridget,” was all Jeremy said, wrapping his arm around his date and whisking her away.
As soon as Jeremy was gone, Spencer said, “That guy is an ass. Glad you’re not with him, Frances.”
He served me a wink, and I felt a connection between us bud. Not a romantic one, something based in admiration and camaraderie—and dealing with Millsy on a regular basis.
“Let’s go, Ryan.” Spencer tapped his friend on the shoulder. “We can head up to the roof and see what kind of trouble is going on there and let Millsy be with his one.” Spencer grinned and added, “If you didn’t catch on, I like this one,” while looking at me.
Ryan nodded and off the pair went. Spencer added a touch of humor to all he said, but he was a good guy, noticing Mack wanted to be with me, and I needed a beat.
With his hand swiping my hair behind my ear, Mack said, “Do you know how beautiful you look tonight? My beautiful Frances, who kickboxed her way into my life.”
“Did you mean that? I’m your one?” I couldn’t help myself—I needed to ask like I required air to breathe.
He led me to a corner near the window, Mariah Carey now singing “O Holy Night” in the background. “Don’t you know that? You’re mine, Frances. In every way. Not one person has been able to make me fall, but you did.” His lips brushed my cheek.
“Are you sure it’s not Milly and Jimmy rubbing off on us? Some kind of strange sentiment related to them?”
“For sure,” he said, firmly. “Their story is sweet and incredibly sad, but not one bit like ours…which is stalkery, then happy, and finally very sexy.”
He whispered the last part for only me, although no one was paying attention to us other than Bridget on the other side of the room.
“It’s all you, Frances. The tiniest woman I know has accomplished the biggest task—captured me. Now, before I take you against this wall for the whole club to witness, can we leave?”
“We didn’t eat,” I fake-protested.
“We’ll send out for something at my place.”
“Deli? And then the ice cream?”
“Deli. I know how much you love a turkey, Frances. We’ll get whatever you want,” he quickly agreed.
Taking my hand, we started to leave. I could feel Jeremy’s eyes on my back and sensed him plotting in his mind. On our way to the first floor, I wondered how he would attack Mack because I knew that was coming. It wouldn’t matter, because Mack was formidable in a way I was just beginning to understand.
Except as we exited, we had bigger problems.
“How could you?” a woman I knew to be Susie asked Mack, getting up in his personal space. Draped in a full-length mink coat, her cheeks rosy from the wind, she stared at him.
“Hello, Susie,” Mack said, pulling out his phone. “Can you text Alex and tell him we’re ready?” he asked me while handing over the phone, without looking my way as he put his hand on Susie’s elbow, guiding her away from the doorway. It was one of those alpha moments only Mack seemed able to pull off.
“How could you? Go with her? Do this to us?” Susie spoke in a high-pitched tone through gritted teeth. I wasn’t even sure how she was accomplishing it.
“What are you going on about?” Mack spat out through clenched teeth. I’d never seen him so venomous.
I listened intently, wanting to know what Mack’s aunt was accusing him of… And what did I have to do with any of this?
“Her! Tom recently saw the two of you out to dinner. And being the good guy he is, he asked around who you were canoodling with. And come to find out you’re dating this woman—a Burns. His relative… His!” She practically shouted the last part.
My fingers fidgeted and my eyes watched the road for Alex as the fight began to escalate between these two.
“Hey, don’t you dare refer to Frances as this woman. Show some goddamn respect.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you knew the granddaughter of the man who made sure I didn’t get what I was due? Why? Don’t tell me you didn’t know when you showed up at my place demanding answers.”
What? Alex pulled up, but this was something I didn’t know—Susie knew who I was? And Mack spoke to Susie about my Paps? What did he have to do with what Susie was due?
“Because I knew you would take issue, that’s why. Jimmy Burns wasn’t the reason you lost money, Susie. It was all you. You meddled where you weren’t supposed to.”
“This woman, and I will call her that, is after the same thing her grandfather took from me. She probably heard stories all her life about Milly’s rich family. And here she is, befriending you.”
Mack’s features were tense. I had to still every bone in my body to keep from going to comfort him. He’d kept secrets from me, and now his aunt was badmouthing my grandfather and me on the street. All the embers of our happily-ever-after in my body were snuffed out.
“Susie, shut it. You and I are done here. I’m in love with Frances, and she’s not after a damn thing but my heart.”
A small flame started to burn, but there wasn’t enough kindling for it to grow bright. Once again, I’d fooled myself into thinking something was pure. I thought Mack and I were honest with one another.
“Alex, help Frances into the car,” Mack hollered and started to walk toward the passenger seat. Not the back where Alex was opening the door for me.
A chill ran through me, and I welcomed the warmth of the car, despite not understanding why Mack was sitting separate from me.
I sat in the back, hands in my lap, tears trying to burst through the dam I’d mentally put up.
“Take me home,” I whispered from the back and Alex nodded.
“Look,” Mack turned and spoke, “I have to sit here. I’m too damn mad.” He slammed his hand into the dashboard.
Alex didn’t even flinch; I assumed he must be used to Mack’s outbursts.
Swiveling again, Mack let out a long exhale. “Susie is a bitch. I lied about her knowing. I didn’t know, but she knew about your grandpa and I uncovered it. I should have told you, but I know how you are on a fact-finding mission and I didn’t want her near you.”
I felt myself blinking. I guessed we were going to have this discussion with Alex as a witness to the destruction of my heart. “I don’t even know her or how she knows me.”
“She knew about the first letter in the armoire. She went to see your Paps when I was just a little kid. Like an idiot, she thought she’d win brownie points with Milly. Except it backfired, and Jimmy turned down any efforts to see my grandmother. Not only that, but he also called Milly, and she in turn took away most of what was being left to Susie. Milly arranged for a lump sum and that’s it. I knew if I mentioned our involvement, it would only further Susie’s hatred toward me, you, your dead grandfather…”
“I thought we were sharing all of our lives with one another. I don’t know why. It was silly, but I don’t want to hear any more. I never went into this looking for your money…”
“I know,” he said. “Will you come back to my place?” He asked softly, looking at me in desperation. His voice cracked and I had a small glimpse at his vulnerability.
I shook my head, and he turned back toward the windshield.
It wasn’t until we stopped in front of my building that Mack got out and referenced the last part of his conversation with Susie. Outside, with snow starting to fall around us, he spoke again. “I love you, Frances. I meant it when I said it. I’ve now hurt you and that’s exactly what I was wanting to avoid.”
“Good night, Mack.”
I couldn’t do another heartbreak. I wasn’t made for this… I was built for love or nothing at all. I couldn’t take heartache.
He stole my hand and pulled me in for a kiss. I turned my head and he placed his lips on my cold cheek.
“I love you,” he whispered again.
“Merry…never mind. Happy New Year,” was the last thing I said before running inside my building, thinking it would be another Christmas—another year, a lifetime—alone for me.