Chapter 8 Reverie #2
“I was on this dating app, and he messaged me through there. Did you know prisoners could even be on dating apps? Well, I mean, it's meant specifically for prisoners or ex-cons. Obviously. But it’s crazy what they’re allowed to do these days.
Anyway.” She waves her hand, moving herself along.
“We started talking through there, and then I gave him my number. But we wrote letters the old-fashioned way, too. Texts are so impersonal, and we couldn’t always talk on the phone.
I wanted to have something special to look back on when we’re older.
It makes communicating with him more meaningful and exciting, ya know?
Just waiting for that letter to come in the mail.
And when it did?” She clasps her hands and stares off into the distance wistfully.
“My stomach would fill with butterflies, and the happiness I felt was so overwhelming, I would just squeal like a little girl.”
She waves her hand yet again. “I’m waxing on, I know.
But yeah, we just hit it off really well.
I'm sorry we hid it from you for so long, by the way, but he didn't want to introduce me to you until he was sure about us and we got more serious, ya know?
Didn't want to jump the gun or anything, which I totally understand.” She flicks her wrist nonchalantly, like it was no big deal for her to wait.
I blink several times, still trying to process.
“Oh, and he told me all about you as a kid, and his late wife, Regina. I’m so sorry for her passing, by the way.
” My mouth opens, but she just mows on over that comment.
“It was really sweet the way he talked about you. He loves you so much, and I could tell he was such a good father to you. And of course, we talked about the trial, and my God—” She puts a hand over her heart, her lips pouting with empathy.
“—what you guys went through is just absolutely awful. I’m so heartbroken for you and Lionel.
And I find it so fitting that Kellan’s nickname is Dreadful. ”
She rolls her eyes, disgust passing over her features at the mention of him, while I proceed with my heart attack.
“But he’s getting out now! I’m going to visit him once he gets settled in, and if you want to carpool with me to see him, I would absolutely love that.
Girl bonding time, right? I hope we can be friends.
I’m sorry I introduced myself to you this way, but I…
” She glances down shyly, fiddling with her fingers before peeking up at me through her red glasses.
“I really love him, Reverie. Like, really, really love him. I know he’s a lot older than me.
Obviously old enough to be my dad.” She chuckles awkwardly, but grows serious again.
“We’ve already talked about moving in together once I graduate.
I’ll go back to California for a while, and, eventually, we’d like to move back to Colorado so he can be closer to you—” She quickly interrupts herself.
“I mean, unless you plan on living somewhere else? I’m getting an education degree, so I could go anywhere, but don't worry.
We can figure that out later. I'd prefer somewhere with a good school system, though, for when we eventually have kids—”
I stand up so suddenly, the wooden chair clatters to the floor behind me. Roxi startles, her mouth flopping open. Students beyond the bookshelves gasp at the loud sound, but after several quiet moments, they resume their low chatter.
Meanwhile, my heart pounds hard enough to bruise the inside of my heaving chest, and tears rush to the surface as I glare down at her.
Her eyes round, and she glances around once again with an ‘oh shit’ expression.
“I-I’m sorry. Too much, too fast. I need to slow down, I know.
Fuck, I’m sorry. This was probably way too much for you at once.
Definitely inappropriate for me to even bring that up to you before you’ve even spoken to your father.
I really fucked this up. I’m so sorry, Reverie,” she rambles, quickly getting up from her chair.
She grabs her notebooks and turns to leave but then hesitates. Biting her lip, she whips around to face me with an earnest expression.
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry Dread has put you through everything he has.
I’ve vented plenty to your father about his unfair treatment of you, and Lionel and I agree Dread should be punished for all that he’s done.
But yeah, I just wanted to say that. You don’t deserve any of it.
Your father is innocent, and if you ever feel alone here at HCU for believing and loving him, just know that I do, too.
And you can always talk to me or whatever if you ever need. ”
A tear bubbles over the edge of my bottom lashes, and after another moment of hesitating, she finally turns and leaves, her shoulders hiked to her ears as she mutters beneath her breath, sounding as if she's berating herself.
I watch her leave until she disappears behind a shelf, but my stare locks on to the spot she vanished from.
It’s tragically poetic, seeing her blink out like that.
What a daunting omen.
My phone rings, startling me out of the trance I’d fallen into and sending my heart rocketing up my throat. One poorly timed sneeze, and it'll come flying out of my nose.
Heart pounding, I lift my butt from the couch enough to slide the device from my back pocket and see Barry calling.
After standing and staring in a daze at where Roxi disappeared for a solid five minutes, I snapped out of it and immediately called him.
Instead of answering my call, he’d texted there’d been another copycat murder and he’d call me back as soon as he could.
That only made me panic worse, so I gathered up my papers, called Sable, and drove straight to her house.
Which, in hindsight, probably wasn’t safe for me to do, considering I have no recollection of driving here.
When I arrived, I collapsed on the couch and rehashed the story to Sable, and she did what she does best—cheer me up with her cooking. She’s in the kitchen now, Bad Bunny playing softly in the background while she makes me tembleque.
“Hey,” I answer, putting the phone on speaker and settling it on my chest.
“Hey, honey,” Barry greets, his voice weighed with exhaustion, though it's not lacking in gentleness. “What’s goin’ on?”
“Lionel has a girlfriend,” I say tonelessly. My head is cycling through the five stages of grief in a constant loop, and right now, I’ve landed on depression. “And she just so happens to be attending HCU.”
Silence.
Numbly, I wait, understanding the shock he’s experiencing. He’s probably going through the five stages of grief, too.
“Please, Rev,” he starts, his voice now tight. He pauses for a moment to exhale heavily. “Please tell me you’re joking.”
I flatten my lips into a thin line. “No can do,” I say. “She introduced herself to me. Her name is Roxi, and she’s a senior here, too.”
I reiterate my entire conversation with her as if I’m sharing the weather. By the time I’m finished, Barry is groaning on the other end.
“He’s going to be the death of me,” he mutters to himself.
Truthfully, I’m surprised he hasn’t been already.
Barry and Jeff took a huge hit publicly after arresting and charging Lionel with Katherine’s murder.
The world criticized them extensively for being terrible agents, especially since the copycat murderer only further makes Lionel appear innocent.
Some have even called for them to be fired from the FBI, but outside of the Locksmith and copycat cases, Barry and Jeff are both highly respected in their field.
It’s a godsend Barry’s supervisor, Rich, is one of the few who isn’t a mega fan of Lionel’s. Apparently, he has some reservations about Lionel being the Locksmith, but he considers Barry his best agent and trusts him, which is why Rich assigned him to the copycat case.
Some days, I think Barry resents it and wishes Rich would’ve just fired him like the world demanded.
“He did it on purpose,” I say. “He knows I feel guilty for—” My throat tightens suddenly, as if my body is warning my brain I can’t mentally handle diving into all that.
I take a deep breath and restart. “He knows I carry a lot of guilt for what he forced me to do. As much as I hate it, he knows me better than I know myself, and he’s weaponizing that guilt against me.
It’ll kill me if Roxi dies because of something I did. ”
My brain shifts to the acceptance stage.
Whatever Lionel wants from me, he’ll use Roxi’s life to get it. And I either let him, or I don’t. Roxi dies, or she doesn’t.
That’s all there is to it.
“Maybe we can convince Roxi that Lionel—”
“We can’t,” I state firmly. “You know damn well someone being manipulated like she is won’t just take our word for it.
You know she’s brainwashed, and even if she sees red flags or feels something is off, she’ll gaslight herself into justifying or ignoring it, and she wholeheartedly believes Lionel is innocent.
She’s in love with him. It’ll take witnessing a murder herself to wake her up. ”
Even then, she might try to rationalize it.
All Barry can do is sigh, and I can sense his hopelessness as strongly as my own.
“So you’re not transferring to London?” Barry asks, his voice now devoid of emotion. He must be in the depression stage.
“I…” I groan dramatically. “I don’t know yet, okay? I haven’t decided yet. I just wanted to call and let you know he’s got his claws in an innocent girl. If I decide to leave, her life will be even more at risk.”
“Lovely,” Barry mutters bitterly. “As if the fucking copycat isn’t keeping me busy enough.”
A crease forms between my brows as my lips tighten into a firm line, feeling genuinely sorry for what he’s dealing with.