Chapter 26 #3
Or the fact that Severen calls his grandma every day to tell her all about his romance novels. Apparently, she's who got him into reading. Except now, he yaps to me about them too. He's currently reading a small-town romance series, and, admittedly, I’m one thousand percent invested in it.
Nevertheless, I couldn’t understand why they’re so willing to put their lives on hold to babysit me for Dread until they spent two hours one night texting in the group chat about all the things they’d do to Lionel if they got to see him.
So I guess that answered that.
Now, our group chat is called ‘1 flour baby, 2 cocksuckers’ and, according to them, Dread is due home late tonight.
“He’s not my man,” I tell him tonelessly.
Rogue’s smile widens.
“Oh, don’t be shy,” he teases. “You were walking funny all day last Saturday, and I’ve seen that man’s dick almost as much as my own.
It can do some serious damage. I also have it on good authority he’s never wrecked a vagina more than once or made his two best friends watch the owner of said vagina while he’s away. He’s definitely your man.”
I don’t like how that knowledge feels like the butterflies in my stomach ingested cocaine, so I pointedly ignore it. Instead, I tip my head back dramatically.
“Rogue,” I groan, drawing out his name. Then, I drop my chin to pin him with a pleading look.
“It’s a Saturday morning. I’m tired. You’re likely on crack.
We’ve seen enough of each other, and both of us would rather spend time with anyone else.
Let’s just take the day off, and if Dread asks, I promise to pretend we went frolicking in a park somewhere. ”
He puts a hand the size of my face over his chest, feigning hurt. “You’re, like, the fourth person I’d want to spend time with.”
My expression falls flat, and I give him a dry look. He claps his hands, making me jump while he rubs them together excitedly. “So, what’s on the menu today? Robbing a bank? Hijacking a car? Or maybe we can go the heroic route and help grandmas cross the road and save their cats from trees.”
My tone is dry as I say, “The bank closes in, like, two hours. That's not nearly enough time to plan a proper heist. And can you be any more cliché? When’s the last time you’ve even heard about a cat getting stuck in a tree?”
He looks to the ceiling, contemplating that, then nods, clearly coming to a conclusion.
“You’re right, it’s probably really rare.” His eyes light up as he refocuses on me. “Do you know anyone with a cat?”
“You’re an idiot,” I mutter, rolling my eyes. “I’m actually going to see Sable today, so I won’t be alone. No babysitting necessary.”
His face drops, and all his humor extinguishes like smoke in the wind, replaced by mild irritation.
It’s a drastic change in expression for someone like Rogue, but it’s also unsurprising, considering Sable has had plenty to complain about regarding him.
Sable still refuses to talk about the night Rogue went to the funeral home, despite my occasional push. The only thing she’s said about it is that he’s an abomination to the male species, and then she went into a very detailed plan of how she’d embalm him alive if she ever saw him again.
Which just might be today, if Rogue insists on following me again. Honestly, the curiosity has been killing me, so I might kill two birds with one stone—find out what happened and watch Sable murder Rogue.
A win-win.
“Rescuing cats is better for the environment,” he states plainly.
Sighing, I close the door behind me and shove past him, trudging down the hallway without a backward glance. Quickly, he jogs after me to catch up.
“Dread will murder me if I don’t stick with you today,” he complains.
I shrug. “Works out. Sable can take care of your body afterward. No one will ever know.”
He groans. “She might be worse. I haven’t decided yet.”
“The hell did you do to her?” I ask, glancing at him.
He goes quiet, drawing my attention back to him, anxiety instantly filling my stomach. The man never shuts up, so him being silent about that night only exacerbates my burning curiosity.
Oh, they’re hiding something, and I don’t like not knowing. I’ve already asked her several times if he hurt her, but her cagey responses weren’t very reassuring, despite her denial.
As women, we’re conditioned to hide trauma close to our chests. If it’s not the fear of being called a liar keeping us silent, it’s the men silencing us themselves.
I stop, fury blackening my vision. “Did you rape her?”
Rogue stops, too, blinking at me like I just slapped him across the face before his expression turns thunderous.
Unease builds in the pit of my stomach, but I don’t back down.
I’ve never seen Rogue angry, and I’d die happy never seeing it again, but I’d die even happier knowing he didn’t hurt my friend.
“Is that what she told you?” he barks, taking a menacing step toward me.
I cross my arms. “No,” I snap. “She hasn’t told me anything, and now you’re being tight-lipped, so obviously, something happened. I swear to God, Rogue, if you hurt her—”
“Me?” he loudly echoes with disbelief, his anger giving away his real emotions beneath—hurt. “Do you even know your friend? That woman wields a scalpel like it’s a goddamn machete.”
I narrow my eyes, my fury dimming, but not enough to fully trust his word.
“Look—” He shifts his weight onto one leg and splays out his hands, palms facing down in a placating gesture.
For once, he’s completely serious as he says, “I’m not a goddamn rapist, and I’m fucking positive she’d attest to that.
I would never do that to anyone.” He pauses for a beat.
“However, there is a chance I’m an asshole. ”
I roll my eyes. We both know it’s not just a chance, but a fact.
He holds up a pointer finger, and I know what’s coming.
“But.” Precisely what I thought. “She was an asshole first, so my assholery was purely reactionary. Would’ve been completely avoidable had she not hurt my feelings.
” He places a hand over his chest, giving me a heartfelt look. “I’m a very sensitive guy.”
“Uh-huh,” I respond, turning and resuming my walk.
I’m sure there’s a lot more to that story, but for now, I feel assured enough he didn’t physically assault her.
He groans again, this time more drawn out and dramatic.
“No one’s forcing you to come,” I remind him just as I push through the exit door, wincing from the sharp bite of chilly air.
I cannot fucking wait for winter to be over.
“All right, I’ll make a deal,” Rogue says, a hint of desperation in his tone. “I’ll get on my knees and apologize for all the terrible shit I’ve taken part in with you and Dread, but for the love of God, don’t let the woman come near me with a scalpel or needle.”
Rogue stops walking again, and, with another weary sigh, I stop and turn to face his pleading puppy dog face.
“Tell me why you helped him to begin with. I’ve done nothing to you or Severen.”
A shadow passes over his eyes, and for one, vulnerable moment, I can see into the depths of his soul, a well of darkness. The next second, his mask is firmly in place.
“We’ve all been friends since middle school, and he saved our lives in very different ways, but both of us can firmly say we wouldn’t be here without him.
And he didn’t just save us once—he kept saving us.
Truthfully, he’s never stopped. He never asked for a single thing in return, so we volunteered to help.
He was a fucking shell of a person when we met him, and, as fucked up as it is to say, the only time he looked alive is when we made you look dead inside. ”
He runs a hand over the back of his head nervously, his face tightening with discomfort.
“We understood his pain more than anything.” He throws out a hand, as if he’s at a loss, while he stammers, “I— You didn’t see him, okay?
You didn’t see what your family did to him.
You didn’t see the fucking wreck your parents left him with.
I guess Severen and I felt like if he had to deal with bullying for telling the truth, then it’s only fair you deal with it for telling all those lies. ”
I wince, the last sentence like a kick in the gut. Noting my reaction, he lets out a heavy exhale, staring off to the side as he thinks for a moment then returns it to me. A haunting look reflects in his raven eyes, and I get the feeling it has a lot more to do with his own story than mine.
“He told us about what you saw and why you lied, and I… well, I get why you did it. Lionel put you both in impossible situations, and regardless of what either of you did as little fucking kids, you would never be on the winning side. You two were always going to be pitted against one another. Lionel made sure of that, and I don’t think there’s a reality in which you and Dread don’t suffer because of it. ”
The icy air sinks beneath my coat, so I cross my arms. It feels more like protecting myself from his words than the wind.
“I understand Dread’s pain, and I understand why you guys helped, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to accept when I never deserved to be the bearer of his agony,” I say quietly.
He nods thoughtfully. “Truthfully, I think shouldering the weight of all the deaths that came after is torture enough, and I don’t think you need our help with making you more miserable.”
I scoff bitterly. No truer words have ever been spoken.
“Listen, I don’t know shit about what’s happening between you two right now, but what I do know is he’s fucking obsessed with you and will never let you go. You’re it for him, and Severen and I have known that since we were twelve.”
I scoff. “You’re acting like he's in love with me. The only reason he tolerates me now is because…” My face twists, feeling awkward as I say, “Well, because he's a typical man who likes sex.” I cringe as the words come out of my mouth.