80
Clack tucked his legs together and dropped a hundred meters down a long shaft before spreading wide and using his legs to scrape to a halt at the bottom. He landed with a clank that echoed through the pipe.
Without pausing, he raced ahead.
His Machine Intelligence Matrix shuffled words as he ran.
Some good words, he thought.
Sugar on the Bristles.
Puff of flour ruffles long dark hair.
Soon, the dough will rise.
It wasn’t a poem worthy enough to attack Click with, but Clack’s obsession with the kitchen was leaking into more and more of his poems lately.
His arms held a heavy crystal in front of him as he ran. The crystal wasn’t recording yet, but he liked to keep it ready. He never knew when he would spot something worth focusing on.
Like the sight of rain sliding down a dwarven glass window.
Or the way the light shafted through an empty room where dust hung in glittery motes.
He slowed down as he approached a familiar place. The room of Fergus Paddstone, now home to a young first year student called Faye Fazzlebreeze.
He aimed the crystal at her. She was hunched over on her bed.
Her first year was a rough one. She’d broken her wand, torn her robe, and singed her hair when one of her pyromancy spells blew up in her face.
“I can’t take it anymore,” she moaned.
Clack watched.
The young woman eventually fell onto her side and curled up on her bed. Soon, her tears turned to snores. She’d been exhausted.
Clack tapped the grille lightly, wishing the woman a good night, and then raced onward. He wasn’t sure if the recording was useful. That was for Tania to decide.
But he thought it was important anyway.
He just didn’t know why.
Tears on the warm pillow.
He held the line in his head.
It was interesting, but not quite there. It would need work.
Chirping to himself, Clack soon reached the exit of the fortress and flipped the grille open. Couldn’t see anyone. With a cheerful shake of gears, he scurried down the wall and into a nearby drain which led to the sewers.
Running through the dark, he remembered the complaints from Milo’s big golems about how smelly it was in the sewers. Clack didn’t mind it, though.
It was quiet.
And clean. He didn’t know why the big golems complained. The walls were smooth granite blocks without a single stain on them. On either side of the slow-flowing rancid liquid, high granite walkways about two meters wide.
Not a speck of that awful fluid existed on the walkway.
And woe betide anyone who tried to put one on it.
Because the reason for that cleanliness slowly rolled out of the gloom ahead and snapped on a bright white spotlight which flashed so hot onto Clack that the little spider golem let out a sharp high-pitched beep that made the white spotlight flicker.
He gave his gears a shake and emitted some more little chirps at the light.
Which dimmed a little as a long brassy note returned to him. In that note was a question.
Alligator?
Clack pondered the question for a moment.
Was he an alligator?
He didn’t think so. He was sure he was actually a 27-B, which Milo called a spider golem.
Not an alligator, he decided, and quickly purred his gears before flipping out a few beeps.
The spotlight remained on him, hearing his reply.
Then the spotlight’s long brassy note repeated, a little differently and trailing off into a deep groan at the end.
Was he sure?
He counted off his limbs to be sure. Alligators had four limbs, he pointed out to the light.
Maybe, the spotlight wondered with a plaintive brassy moan, he was a mutant alligator.
No, Clack insisted. Not an alligator.
The trumpet gave a short harrumph. It didn’t believe him.
Look, Clack told it in patient beeps. We do this every time. I am Clack. Clack the spider golem. You are Ellia, the sewer cleaning golem. I am a 27-B, and you are a 44-R.
Ellia’s hot white light slowly turned pink.
A meek brassy note whined through the tunnel.
Sorry.
The light switched off, and Clack could see her now. She was a giant spherical golem with a small head low on her body near the ground. She had six heavy thick legs which took her through the sewers like a mechanical turtle.
A series of hoses stuck out from her upper shell, one of which hissed water at a nearby wall while a long thin arm untucked itself and started to scrub at the wall with a sponge.
Clack accepted the apology with a twitch of his arms. After asking Ellia to try and remember him, he raced away. Her Machine Intelligence Matrix was very limited.
Maybe Milo could upgrade her.
He shot the other golem a brief explanation in as few chirps as possible, telling her to go to Milo and request a new brain.
She let out a flat growling note which told him what she thought of that.
Well. How rude.
He’d only tried to be helpful.
Finding his exit, he shot up the wall, his little legs easily finding small grooves in the stone. At the top, he paused before running out into the street. He didn’t want to be spotted by one of the furry things which had chased him last time.
Dog.
Thankfully, the street was empty. He skittered out, racing along the edge of the alley towards a heavy rumbling sound. As he approached, Stonks paused mid-step. His domed head turned completely around and then the red shining gem swiveled down to peer at the little spider golem.
The gem flickered with light.
Then the big golem made a cheerful groan as its gears thrummed to a halt.
It beeped.
Clack beeped.
A question.
Stonks put his big foot down and gave the spider golem a long thoughtful look.
Clack explained again, delivering the message as he’d been asked to.
Stonks thought about it some more.
Clack tried a different way. This time, he rattled his gears for emphasis while stamping his feet.
Stonks let out a long groaning sound which made the ground vibrate.
Yes.
Relieved, Clack gave his gears another rattle, and Stonks let out a small chirp from somewhere deep in its chest.
Then it turned.
And it plodded away.
Clack watched the massive golem go, then whipped down into a nearby sewer.
Racing past Ellia again, he told her she’d missed a spot.
Water squirted after him, but he was too quick for it and didn’t even get his shell wet.
After a quick personal diversion, he made it all the way back to the fortress and back into the pipes before he could stop purring his gears.
Creeping past Faye’s room, he peeked in.
She was on her back, snoring loudly.
Good for her. She needed sleep. She wasn’t getting enough.
His little arm pushed the grille open, and he tossed a small daisy he’d clipped from a hedge into her room. It floated to the ground and landed near her bed.
Gently closing the grille again, he watched her sleep.
Tears wet the warm pillow.
Petals wait for tomorrow.
Something delightful to pierce the dream.
Not quite good enough.
He would need to work on it more.
Somehow, he wanted to add the word violet in there, but did it really need it?
He was still churning through that thought as he slipped out of the grille above Tania’s desk and dropped down in front of her. She was still editing a crystal from Click 4.
Click 4 waited nervously. He gave a small shake of gears to Clack and bent low in respect.
Clack shrugged his gears back and let out a small chirp.
“Take this one,” Tania said to Click 4, who snatched the crystal from her fingers and whipped away.
She turned to Clack and pursed her lips. “Did you find Stonks already?”
Clack chirped.
Of course he did. He was Clack. He was the best at finding things. Hadn’t he found the best cheese for Milo’s sandwiches?
“Alright alright,” Tania mumbled, reaching down to take the offered crystal from him. “What’d he say?”
Clack relayed the big golem’s message.
Yes.
“That’s it?”
Clack gave his gears a nervous rattle.
And repeated the answer.
Yes.
She sighed and lifted the crystal he’d recorded everything on. Quickly sweeping through it, he noticed she paused on the interaction with Faye. Tania leaned closer to the screen as she watched the girl hunch over.
“What’s her problem?” Tania wondered aloud. “Ain’t she got a rich family?”
Clack didn’t know what that meant.
“Eh.” Tania swept past it. “Ain’t our problem, is it?”
Clack gave another nervous chitter.
And then she watched as he tossed a flower into the room. The view followed the camera as it arced out from the duct and into the center of the room where the girl would no doubt find it in the morning.
She’d either freak out, or she’d be happy.
Either way, it’d be a mystery to her for days.
Tania grinned as she imagined the poor girl’s confusion. She wondered briefly if she should do something about it. Maybe she’d say hello. First years weren’t so bad.
Mostly.
She remembered seeing the girl’s wand had broken. Those things were expensive.
Could Milo fix it?
Probably.
He might enjoy tinkering with it, actually. Maybe she would talk to the girl.
She flicked her gaze to the waiting spider golem. She leaned down and squinted at him.
“Ya big old softie.”
Clack let out a shy chirp.