100
There comes a time when every wall will tumble to the ground. That was the lesson Milo had absorbed as he’d walked through the dwarven ruins towards the portal.
Nothing will survive forever.
Time will take it all.
The dwarves and their incredible technology had also tumbled. Their race was gone, their creations reduced to a few remaining novelties or empty shells propped up on display in the lobbies of rich family mansions.
Even he would tumble one day.
It made him wonder what he was building. What kind of future.
He’d followed his three golems as they giggled and skipped through the wreckage. Beautiful Tania, who had been obsessed with lifting her skirt to show her coochie.
Now she only did that rarely.
To tease and entice.
Selma, desperate for his attention. Now calm and radiant with contentment.
They’d achieved what they wanted to achieve, and something shallow in them had tumbled. Matured, maybe.
That change was what made his own resistance to them tumble completely.
How could he say they weren’t human when they could change?
Now there was Mila. Shy and nervous. Riddled with guilt.
He’d told her many times that it was okay.
But nothing he did seemed to ease her heart.
He thought of that while he worked on Fed’s body. Carefully threading cabling through one leg and up the spine. A network of nerves to the brain.
“Why are you afraid?” His voice was steady, made cold by his concentration as he worked to solder the wire in place. “I’ve told you there’s no grudge.”
He didn’t need to look back to know Mila was there.
Sitting under his bench. Legs tucked up beneath her chin.
Watching him.
She started at his words, not expecting him to speak. Her cheeks flushed.
“I don’t know,” she said softly. “I feel bad.”
The solder hissed as he touched it with the iron. “Tell me about it.”
“About what?”
“What you did.”
“I, umm, just…” She struggled with the words. “I was nice to him when he said bad things?”
“I don’t need a confession,” he told her. “I meant tell me about it. What you felt. Why you feel like you do now.”
“I felt bad,” she said.
“Why?”
“Because I said bad things about you!”
“Did you mean them?”
“No! Of course, I didn’t.” Mila sucked a deep breath, looking like she was about to cry. “I didn’t. I hated saying them!”
“I know,” he said. “I know you did. But you did it because I asked you to.”
“Yes.”
“And you did it well. You fooled him. You guided him. And you helped me use him.” Milo paused to blow smoke from the soldered wire. “Do you regret betraying him?”
“No?”
“You don’t sound sure.”
“I am!” She hugged her legs. “But it makes me scared, too.”
“Why?”
“Because I think you’ll worry that I’ll betray you, too.”
“Why would I think that?”
“You don’t treat me the same.”
“How don’t I treat you the same?”
“I don’t know,” Mila mumbled. “I just think… Do you like me? Like, as much as Tania?”
“Do you want me to?”
Mila rocked back and forth under the table, hugging his coat tighter around herself.
“I took your name,” she said. “Mila Moontouch. Milo Mooney. I wanted to feel close to you.”
“That’s why you keep stealing my coat?”
“It smells nice.”
“Thanks,” he said drily. “But I’m sure it needs a wash by now.”
“It doesn’t. I look after it.”
He touched the solder again, smoothing the join. Blew smoke so he could see it looked good.
Grunting in satisfaction, he flicked the switch on the iron and set it down.
He stretched his back and let out a long yawn.
Lifting the goggles from his eyes, he turned towards her. “All of this is weird.”
“What?”
“This,” he waved a hand at her. “You. Selma. Tania. It’s weird.”
“Because we’re not human?”
“That’s part of it,” he admitted. “But I’m not sure it matters so much to me anymore. It did for a while. No, it’s not that. It’s the situation. One of the things about love is a thing called devotion.”
“I know about that,” she said, her eyes glowing.
“Maybe you do,” he conceded, knowing what she was thinking.
She was thinking how devoted she was to him.
How much she needed him. How much she loved him.
He could see it in her eyes. “But what I mean is, you can be devoted to all kinds of things, but it doesn’t mean you love them.
I’m devoted to understanding the dwarves, but it’s not exactly something I can marry. ”
“Marry?” Her squeak was high-pitched.
“Yes.” He squatted down in front of her, pushing the stool out of the way. “Among humans, when we love, we devote ourselves to the person we love. We give ourselves exclusively to them. Do you understand?”
She nodded enthusiastically. “Milo, I swear I’m totally devoted and exclusive to you!”
“I know you are, Mila. But don’t you deserve someone totally devoted and exclusive to you?
Doesn’t Tania? Selma? That’s why it’s weird to me.
I grew up thinking a man could love one woman.
Not three. A man’s heart can’t split that way, and a woman’s heart will only be hurt if she’s not given the same devotion she gives him. That’s my thought.”
“But it’s different,” Mila said, lifting her head. “You’re our engineer, Milo.”
“That means more to you than I think I understand,” he said. “And it’s taking me time to get used to it. We’re still different, Mila.”
“You don’t want me?” The smallness of her voice was like a pin sliding through his heart.
He shook his head. “That’s not what I’m saying. I’m trying to tell you how I feel, and why I’ve been reluctant.”
“Oh.”
“It’s because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”
“But you can’t,” she told him. “Milo, I understand what you said. But we’re not human.
Not like that. And maybe you think we only feel how we feel because we’re made to.
But our feelings are wires. You can’t change us by cutting a wire.
You’d have to change our core. Take it out and put a different one in. That’s the only way.”
That’s more or less what he’d guessed.
“I know,” he said.
“I love you because you were gentle when you put my core into me. I felt it when you were putting me together, Milo. The way you touched me then was nice. It was like I could feel how much you loved me.”
He stared at her, remembering putting her core into her body.
The feeling had been the same as when he’d made Tania.
A mix of pride at completing the build and doing his best. Happiness at doing something no one else had done.
And there had been love.
It wasn’t a romantic love, though. It was the love of something he’d made with his own hands. Something he’d molded, carved, and created.
He shook his head, not sure where to go with that.
“Your touch was everything to me,” she whispered. “That’s why I called myself Moontouch, Milo. I want you to touch me again. And again. I want that feeling when you touched me that first time. How I was filled with your love.”
She reminded him of Selma in that.
Selma’s obsession with being looked at.
“It’s been strange,” he told her. “Being with Tania and Selma already. Sometimes I look at one, and feel guilty for it. I feel torn to make sure I treat them both equally. It’s not easy.”
“It’s not about how you treat us,” Mila said. “It’s about how you feel about us. If we’re equal in your heart, it will show. Right?”
“I don’t know,” he said. Then he grinned. “Tania was my first time. I’m still trying to figure out how to make this work.”
Mila showed a wan grin. “Have you tried using a screwdriver?”
That was enough to break the tension and make him laugh. He nodded and then shook his head. “I must be spending too much time with Tania,” he said. “Because that sounded dirty.”
“It was meant to.” She lifted her chin defiantly. “I can do jokes too, ya know.”
“Was this Tania’s idea?” He held her gaze. “She came to me first. Then she tucked herself away and threw Selma at me. Is that how this was made to play out? You’d all come to me one at a time?”
“No,” she said firmly. “It wasn’t her idea. It was ours. We knew you wouldn’t initiate anything on your own. We’d be waiting for years if we waited for you. No offense, Milo. But you didn’t know what to do with us. We just wanted to give you a push.”
“Hmm.” He stared into her eyes. She didn’t look away. Her cheeks were blushing hard, but she refused to look away. “And what happens afterwards?”
“I don’t know.”
“I don’t want to hurt you, Mila.”
“Then don’t.”
There was a challenge in her tone.
A challenge he couldn’t back down from.
His hand reached for her.