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Selma let out a whoop of pleasure as her sword lit up with a loud crackle of lightning. Bolts blasted in all directions, leaping from monkey to monkey as they howled and hooted.
The jungle around them had been full of monkeys.
Monkeys who liked to throw bananas.
And shit.
Their own shit.
Milo took a lot of pleasure in sniping them from a distance, while Tania ranted and raved as she was hit by the odd ball of dung flung from the branches above.
Mila shucked her cartridge and slid another from her belt. “I think the boss is spawning.”
Milo checked the pad perched on a little stand beside him.
It showed a countdown to the boss.
Another great feature Fedwina had shown him.
He lifted his voice to roar; “Incoming! Fifteen seconds!”
“About time,” Tania snapped back. “This ain’t funny anymore.”
Selma slashed through a tree trunk, sending it crashing down. Monkeys spilled from its canopy, screeching as she waded into them.
“I think Selma’s enjoying herself,” he called back.
“Yeah, but she’s a ditz!”
“Left flank,” Mila said, firing without hesitation. A small group of monkeys were making their way towards them.
Casually, Tania pulled out a small grenade. Punched the button.
Tossed it.
Boom!
The ground thundered violently as monkey parts were spread across the surrounding jungle floor.
“I could get used to these,” Tania said.
“I miss them.” Mila sighed.
“I’ll make you something else,” Milo promised.
“Truly?”
“Truly,” he said. “Don’t worry about it.”
“I’ll hold you to that,” she said.
“Look at me, Milo!” Selma cried, standing on top of the downed tree.
She had a dead monkey in one hand, which she tossed aside before holding up her sword.
Lightning ripped up the blade and exploded out the top, arcing into the trees around her.
Monkeys dropped, squealing as they fell to the ground and didn’t move again. “I love you!”
The smile felt foolish on his face, but he couldn’t help it.
She might be a bit dumb sometimes, he admitted. And maybe she was silly.
But she was his.
“I love you too, Selma Standpoint.”
A massive fist blurred from the shadows behind her, smashing into her side and sending her crashing into a nearby trunk. She hit hard enough that it exploded as she went right through it.
“Owwies!” Selma tumbled across the ground, rolling to a halt and lifting her head with a dazed shake. “Don’t worry! I’m good. Just… give me a second…”
“Ditz,” Tania called out, already darting towards the giant monkey bounding out of the jungle. It reared on its back legs and whirled a giant staff in its hand. A gold crown was wrapped around its head.
It let out an enraged scream.
And pounced.
The staff blurred, whooshing through the air and missing Tania by less than an inch. She had to work hard to avoid it.
Milo pulled the trigger.
A blast of mana punched into the monkey’s shoulder, blowing blood and bone shrapnel out through its back.
It screamed again. This time in pain.
It spun towards him as he shucked the cartridge. “I’m almost out,” he murmured to Mila.
She nodded. “Check my hip.”
He grabbed a cartridge from her and slammed it into place.
Aimed.
It looked like the monkey was going to reach them. But before it could bring its massive staff down, Selma charged from its left and punched it in the ribs. Surrounding her hand was a bright ball of electricity, fed by a web of wires under her skin.
The punch hit hard.
Hard enough that the dull crack of its ribs was easily heard above its shriek.
“Tag,” Selma grunted, winding up for another hit as it doubled over. “You’re it!”
She punched it in the face, wiping out its cheek. The flesh tore, exposing gums and teeth. Blood splashed across the golem’s face.
The monkey was quick.
But Tania was quicker.
She came in front behind, her blades angling for the back of its neck. And, with its focus firmly on Selma, it didn’t know the other golem was there until it was too late.
It flopped with a loud thunderous crunch as Tania’s blades destroyed its neck and drove into its brain.
“Aww,” Selma sighed. “It was over too quick. Milo? Can’t ya respawn it?”
“Again?” Milo looked down at the pad.
He could.
“I think we’ve been here long enough,” Tania said, shaking her head. “We all look tired enough. Let’s go.”
Selma pouted. “But-”
“This ain’t today’s job, sister,” Tania said. “Remember that.”
“You can have more fun next time,” Milo promised.
“Alright.” Selma went to retrieve her sword while Mila skipped up to start collecting dungeon stones.
While she was getting her weapon, Milo checked the other teams.
Cerena was doing fine. Her group had just reached the final mob of monkeys and would be facing the boss in a minute or so.
He didn’t think they’d have too much trouble with it, so he left them alone.
Looking up, he saw Selma coming back.
“All good?”
She lifted the sword. “Peachy keen.”
“Let’s go, then.” He pressed a button, and the portal whipped into existence behind him.
Another trick Fedwina had showed him.
He was beginning to think she was worth more than her weight in gold. So far, he’d learnt a lot from her. While a lot of things were still restricted to him, she was very open with what she knew and was eager to teach him more.
She was also good at telling him what he needed to know before he knew he needed to know it.
Feeling genuinely happy, Milo stepped through the portal first and found Mistress Vizzingbelle waiting for him. She looked up, surprised.
“You took longer than we thought you would,” she said.
“We took our time,” he said.
“Because those monkeys kept throwing shit at us,” Tania growled, coming through. “That ain’t funny.”
“Depends on your point of view,” Master Finklestern said, making his tone sound wise. “It’s not funny for you, but it is funny for us.”
Milo groaned with his team.
Master Finklestern’s voice was light, and a normal student might think the teacher liked making jokes. But Milo knew it was forced today.
The Mage Court was sending more people.
And rumors of the Paddstone family’s talks with the Empire were a hot topic. Milo had arranged for that information to spread through the taverns. Selma and Tania arguing was always a great way to get information out.
He hoped the pressure would bring more attention from the Court, and it had.
It was a risk getting them here.
But if some officials were around, it’d let him slink into the shadows easier.
Anything that happened to Padrick now would seem like Mage Court interference.
He knew it wouldn’t be enough for Fallon Paddstone to forget about him. But he hoped if the Paddstone patriarch had a bigger target, he might consider Milo to be more of a small fish.
At least, that was his hope.
He stood around with his team, waiting for Cerena to come through. They didn’t take long. Belt’s strength had grown a lot lately. He’d learned a few new tricks with lightning which were impressive.
The one which had inspired the new addition to Selma’s sword was how he channeled lightning down his mace before it exploded outward. It worked great when he was surrounded.
As they came into the dungeon hall, Cerena winced.
She was holding her side.
“Are you alright?” Milo asked.
“Fine,” she said. “A monkey dropped on top of my head while I was casting. If Jassie wasn’t there, I’d be dead, I think.”
“You’re exaggerating,” Jassie said, but she smiled. “You’d have been alright.”
“I owe you anyway.”
“Beer will be fine.”
“You got it.”
“How about we all meet for one?” Tania asked. “Say, in an hour or so?”
Cerena looked to Belt, who just gave her a smile. “I could go a few drinks.”
“After a bath, though,” Cerena said. “I smell like monkey shit.”
“We all do,” Tania said. “We’re gonna take Milo off and let him wash our coochies.”
Cerena winced. “You don’t change, do you?”
“Ain’t no reason to,” Tania said with a shrug. “Milo doesn’t care, do ya?”
“I only care that you change your underwear,” he said drily.
“Hey, I ain’t dirty.”
“You smell a bit bad right now, though.”
“Milo,” she said seriously, taking a step towards him and holding out her arms. “Give me a hug. I really need to feel how much you love me.”
“No!” He danced back, holding his hand up. “Keep away from me!”
“Milo! Come on. Let me rub against ya!”
He ran.
She followed.
When they were out of sight, he skidded to a halt.
“I’ll get a shower in the Workshop,” he told her.
“Gonna let Fedwina wash your parts?”
“No.” He scowled. “No, I won’t. I don’t have time for that. We’re going out, aren’t we?”
“Meet us in the Common Room in an hour.”
“Right.” He paused. “Do you think I should bring her?”
“Fedwina?” Tania pursed her lips. “Well, she’s gotta meet people eventually. Why not over a few drinks?”