9. Hudson
Ibolted upright in bed and gasped myself awake.
The clutches of the brutal nightmare I was having kept its hold on me for another few seconds as I gripped my chest and panted uncontrollably.
Until I remembered I was no longer ten, I wasn’t climbing a tree, and this wasn’t the Dunham’s backyard.
The vision of Brett’s face as he glanced back at me with a mischievous grin and taunted, “Dare me?” faded away, and I blinked the familiar walls of my bedroom back into place.
The sheets around me were drenched in sweat.
“Fuck,” I rasped from a gritty, dry throat before I plopped back onto the mattress, hoping I could fall to sleep once again.
But the stabbing agony in my temples told me that was going to be a great big no.
God, hangovers sucked.
I ground the palms of my hands into my eyes and wondered why I’d been so gung-ho to get rip-roaring drunk last night until the reason came to me.
Oh right. Twenty-first birthday. Wanted to forget that I was stuck dating a girl I didn’t like. And I’d been ready to do just about anything to alleviate the pressure in my?—
My hands jerked away from my eyes as they flew open.
The pressure?
With a wobbly exhale, I winced and tenderly prodded my noggin. It hurt like hell. But was it just a hangover, or was it…?
I drew in a long, steadying breath even as I wondered why I hadn’t consciously realized this was happening again until just now. And it was definitely returning. There’d been a gentle but persistent nudging against the inside of my skull for a couple of weeks now.
I had blamed it on Genesis since she annoyed me so much. It’d been easy to pass off as a mere headache.
Except it wasn’t.
The pressure was returning.
Damn, but why was it back now?
I’d finally found a place in my life where I was happy. I was out from under my mother’s thumb. I was employed and earning my own way. I had a roof over my head. I paid all my bills. My friends were healthy and content, living their own lives. I was even attending Haverick.
That surprised me the most. Seven years ago, college had not been in the cards for me. I’d been headed in an entirely different direction, steering straight toward a life filled with drugs, alcohol, and probably a lot of jail time.
But after cutting my wrists and waking up to Thane’s worried face hovering over me at the hospital, everything just kind of…changed. The pressure went away, and I basically moved in with Thane and his parents, where I’d shared a room with Parker, who’d been there since his parents had died.
My mom had remained my legal guardian, of course, but as long as I didn’t bother her with anything, she didn’t care what I did or where I stayed. So Thane’s family took over raising me. And Chauncy and Ezekiel Eisner refused to put up with any kind of tomfoolery, as they called it.
Mama Chaunce and Pastor Zeke were strict but loving, involved but supportive, and they forced me to turn my life around.
By the time I’d graduated from high school, I had decided to head on to college since that’s what everyone else was doing.
And I hadn’t turned back to drugs once since then. I hadn’t tried to abandon my boys again. I’d rejoined the grief group and worked through my issues over killing Brett. I had goals and plans, and life was good.
So why was the fucking pressure back? Why was I dreaming about Brett? And how the hell was I supposed to get through the agony this time without hurting myself…or someone close to me?
Through the wall, I could hear the muted voices of Damien and Oaklynn talking. But at least they weren’t having sex. I really wasn’t in the mood to listen to how well their relationship was this morning.
Remembering my own celibacy would only make me more irritable.
With a groan, I pulled myself upright and threw my legs over the side of the bed so I could sit there for a moment with my feet on the floor, elbows on my knees, and fragile head cradled in my hands.
I could do this. I’d have to deal with it a little differently than I had the last time, but I’d get through it. With baby steps.
And the first step started with getting past this hangover in the normal-people way. Hydration, aspirin, and carbohydrates.
Inspired, I pushed to my feet and shuffled barefoot toward the door. As I went, I glanced down at the T-shirt and shorts I was wearing.
I honestly had no idea how I’d gotten into them or even how I’d gotten home. Actually, a good portion of the night before was a complete blank.
I knew the guys had taken care of me, though, so I wasn’t too worried.
The smell of coffee reached me before I hit the kitchen, but it wasn’t the instant-cup shit that Oaklynn and Keene liked to make. Detecting the hint of some kind of fancy brew, I followed my nose down a short stairway and through the living room until I pulled up short in the doorway to the kitchen.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I asked the guy sitting at my kitchen table.
Oaklynn, Damien, Keene, and Alec were my roommates these days. Not Parker.
I glanced down at my wrist, wondering just how late it was, but I wasn’t wearing my watch.
Parker lifted his gaze from the laptop he was typing on and then paused to stretch his arms over his head as he answered, “I was instructed to stay all night and keep an eye on you. So here I am.”
With a sniff, I rolled my eyes and couldn’t help but wander over to the counter where a whole fucking buffet of food was set out. “Thane worries too much,” I said.
Reason number one why I wasn’t in a rush to tell anyone that my pressure was returning. They’d all have me on suicide watch before I finished the sentence.
No, I was going to handle this one on my own and not bug anyone with it. I had everything under control.
“Wasn’t Thane,” Parker retorted.
I sent him a look, totally not buying that. “Yeah, right.” Then I waved a hand toward the breakfast spread covering the countertops. “What’s all this?”
Parker merely shrugged as he watched me. “I was hungry, and there was no food in your cupboards, so I ordered a breakfast to be delivered.”
“Whatever. We have plenty of food.” I cooked all the meals; I should know.
Parker only snorted. “You have ingredients.” Then he splayed out a hand. “Now, help yourself. Or don’t. I don’t give a fuck.”
Oh, I would. Food was my specialty. I needed to taste-test all of it, learn the dos and don’ts, and figure out what worked best and what didn’t. Because one of these days, I was going to create my own recipes that became instant classics.
Grabbing a plate from the cabinets, I began to load it down with a sample of croissants, jellies, scrambled egg patties, and sausage links. I licked butter off my finger as I carried the plate to the table and said, “You know, I could teach you how to whip up a couple of quick meals if you want.”
Parker fell back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest as he continued to watch me. “Pass.”
I shrugged, not bothered either way. After setting down the plate, I went back for a cup of coffee and then pulled a bottle of Advil from a drawer. As I opened the lid and sat, I noticed I still had Ohrley’s attention.
“What?” I asked.
He shook his head, not answering, and my stomach tightened, hoping he hadn’t guessed about the pressure already. But he looked amused, as if he knew something no one else did or was giddy about the fact that I had a hangover and he didn’t. So I went back to ignoring him as I took two capsules and downed them with a gulp of coffee.
My brows lifted as I swallowed. Not bad stuff. I examined the to-go cup to catch the brand on the side and started to nod, even more impressed.
Across the table, Parker finally said, “Eisner really wasn’t the one who told me to babysit you all night.”
I glanced up with the croissant in hand and furrowed my brow in confusion. “Then who?”
I wasn’t sure who else outside the household would care about my wellbeing so much, except maybe Foster, and he wasn’t the type to mother hen people the way Thane did.
“Union?” I guessed anyway.
“Nope,” Parker answered, looking more smug than ever.
I rolled my eyes and took my first bite. I swear, lording his knowledge over other people was Ohrley’s happy place.
Then I wrinkled my nose and glanced down at the croissant. But what the fuck kind of lame-ass butter had they put in this shit? Seriously. I pressed a couple of fingers to my lips to encourage myself to keep chewing and not gag.
Getting the right butter was the key ingredient to making a stellar croissant. And—oh my God—the bottom was even burned. Plus, it was hard as hell. I think I’d crack the damn sheetrock if I threw this bad boy against the wall right now.
That restaurant should definitely just stick to coffee. The coffee was good.
“Faith was the one who seemed so insistent that I stay with you,” Parker spoke up, obviously not a fan of my indifference.
But that answer didn’t really stir my interest either. Deciding life was too short, and I shouldn’t torture my mouth like this, I grabbed a napkin and spit out the croissant. Then I folded it away under my plate and finally glanced up. “Who?”
“Really?” Parker threw up his hands in disgust and gaped at me. “You don’t remember Faith? From last night?”
Deciding to risk it and try the eggs, I picked up a fork and tentatively sliced off a sliver before scooping it up. “I’m gonna be real honest with you,” I told Parker as I lifted the bite to my mouth. “I don’t remember much from last night.”
After taking a taste, I nodded and kept eating. I mean, it was a little chewy and had cooled down too much, but the flavor and texture…mmm. A hundred percent better than their croissants.
“What do you remember?” Parker asked.
“Hmm?” I glanced over and lifted a negligent shoulder. “I mean, I remember meeting everyone at the restaurant.”
Parker nodded, urging me on. “And our waitress was…?”
I squinted a moment before widening my eyes and pointing at him. “Ooh. My stalker! Right. I remember her now.” Nodding over a couple of vague images that floated through my head, I smiled. “Yeah. She was cool. You said her name was Faith?”
“Yes. Faith.”
“Huh. Well, I liked her.”
“Mm-hmm. And she really liked you,too.”
His bitter tone made me focus on him a little more intently until I realized, “Oh. Did Parky-Park strike out with the pretty waitress because she liked me better? Sorry about that, man.”
With a sniff and shake of his head, he flipped me the bird and promptly went back to paying attention to his computer screen.
I probably would’ve baited him further, to really rub it in, but Alec came dragging ass into the kitchen, groaning and rubbing his head the whole time.
“Morning,” I told him cheerfully because he looked so bedraggled. “Breakfast?”
Alec slowed to a stop and dropped his hands to blink at me, only for a green tinge to coat his skin before he clutched his stomach.
“God,” he whined. “How can you stand to eat after everything you drank last night?”
I shrugged. “Years of practice, my friend.”
“Ugh.” He caught sight of the Advil I’d left on the table and made a mad dive toward it, snagging the bottle and fumbling to unscrew the cap.
“Why’re you acting so hungover, though?” I asked as I tried the sausages next.
As Alec concentrated on getting himself a glass of water from the tap, Parker answered for him, “What? Did you not notice him thieving shots of your rum all night long?”
I lifted my brows before spinning to send Alec an accusative frown as he gulped the water. “You little son of a bitch,” I charged. “You stole shots from me?” Then I grinned and nodded, pointing at him. “Respect.”
Alec winced as he lowered the glass and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Keene make it back home yet?” he asked.
“Nope,” Parker reported, his attention back on his screen.
“Why?” I asked glancing between the two and setting down my sausage because…bleh. Croissants and sausage, bad. Eggs, meh. Coffee, good. “What happened to Duggie?”
“Don’t you remember?” Alec eyed a croissant leerily before deciding to chance it and picked it up. “He went home from Calamity’s with that waitress.”
I sat up straighter, on full alert. “With my waitress?”
Parker glanced up in surprise, while Alec shook his head and took a bite. “Mmph.” He lifted his hand to catch some crumbs, then kept chewing and nodding his head as if he actually liked the flavor of such crap. “No,” he finally muffled out the word from a full mouth. “The other one.”
As I exhaled and relaxed in my chair, Parker lifted his eyebrows at me with a telling glance.
“What?” I muttered, frowning at him and starting to get annoyed with his superior, I-know-something-you-don’t attitude.
He smirked. “Feeling a little territorial about your waitress there, Ive?”
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever.”
But Alec countered, “No, Ohrley’s right,” as he flipped the chair around next to mine and plopped down backward on it so he could rest his arms on the backrest as he finished the croissant. “I’ve never seen you act possessive over…well, anyone before. But you were definitely possessive right there.”
I sniffed and shook my head. “Man, you two are delusional.”
Parker merely squinted at me, bobbing up his chin in question. “Come on, Ivey, spill it,” he coaxed. “You and Faith have history, don’t you?”
I laughed, amazed by everyone who seemed to think that. “Bro, yesterday was the very first time I ever set eyes on her. I swear to God.”
“Then what was with all that chemistry brewing between you two every time you fucking looked at each other?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Chemistry. From two completely normal, everyday strangers who were obviously just attracted to each other.”
“Oh, that was not normal,” Alec spoke up. “I swear, static electricity would lift the hair on my arms every time you two made eye contact.”
I nodded, rather liking the sound of that. “Fuck yeah, it did.”
“So are you going to do anything about it?” Parker asked, sounding a little impatient.
Huffing out my own irritated breath, I scowled at him briefly for reminding me of all the reasons I shouldn’t. “You know I can’t. I’m stuck with Genesis right now.”
Alec squinted. “But are you?”
“Yes! She is the key to my future and a bridge I absolutely cannot burn, not if I want to keep pursuing a culinary degree.”
“From the way you describe her, it almost doesn’t sound worth it,” Parker said.
I sighed and glanced up toward the ceiling, seeking patience.
“But whatever.” Parker shrugged, letting me know he didn’t care what I did either way. “What I’m really asking here is if it’s okay for me to take my shot or not.”
Shaking my head in confusion, I said, “Your shot at what?”
“At Faith. Jesus, man, keep up.”
Everything inside me tightened before I slowly answered, “You want to ask out Faith? My stalker, Faith? On a date?”
Parker lifted his hands as if congratulating me for finally catching up with the conversation.
With a snort, I sent him a get-real frown and bluntly answered, “No.”
His eyebrows lowered in surprise. Then he blinked twice and dropped his hands. “Excuse me?”
“I said no.”
After blurting out a dismayed laugh, Parker sat back in his chair and studied me a moment before asking, “Are you fucking serious?”
I lifted my brows. “As a fucking heart attack, yes.”
He glanced toward Alec, who had widened his eyes and pulled away from the chair back he’d been hugging, clearly removing himself from the discussion.
Coming back around to squint at me, Parker demanded, “Well, why not?”
“Because you can be a total ass to women,” I told him without padding the truth even a little. “And she seemed cool. I liked her. I don’t want you fucking her over.”
“The hell?” Mouth falling open, Parker blinked at me before turning a questioning gaze to Alec.
“Hey, I didn’t say anything,” he was quick to spout as he lifted his hands, surrendering.
Parker returned his attention to me. “I am not an ass to?—”
“Oh, yes you are,” I countered, cutting him off before he could finish. “You’ve got tortured, mourning orphan written all over you. You’re like a fucking feeding ground for women thinking they can save your soul and show you what love means again. But you just get irritated with their efforts and end up pushing them all away and breaking their hearts. And I won’t let you do that to my stalker.”
“Wow,” Parker breathed, gaping at me in disbelief. “I seriously cannot believe you.”
I shrugged. “Why? Because I told you the truth?”
“Because you…” He grimaced distastefully as he motioned around the kitchen for a second. Then he finally blurted, “I do not lure women to me with my orphan story.”
“I didn’t say you did,” I countered. “I said they’re drawn to you because of it. I know it’s not your damn fault for interesting them with your sob life of woe. And it’s not your fault that their efforts don’t work, either. I’m saying they end up hurt. And you’re not doing that to Faith.”
“Well, maybe Faith will actually be the one to soothe my tortured soul.”
“I don’t care if she is.” I shook my head slowly and leaned back in my chair enough to casually throw my arm over the backrest. “I still say no.”
With a disgusted sniff, Parker pushed his chair back and stood up, highly irritated as he glared down at me. “You know what?” he growled. “I don’t need your permission to ask someone out.”
I grew even more relaxed in my seat. “Then why’d you ask for it?”
“Fuck you, man.” Scooping up his laptop, he slammed the lid closed and tucked it under his arm. “I’m out of here.”
“Bye.” Not at all concerned about his hissy fit, I waved a few fingers at him as he whirled around to storm out the back exit.
As soon as the door snapped shut behind him, Alec grimaced. “Well, that went well.”
I merely shrugged. “He’ll get over it.”