20. Faith
“Were you close to them, affection-wise?” I demanded. “This person you saw die.”
Hudson only shrugged. “I mean, yes. He was my best friend. I don’t think I was closer to anyone else at that point in my life. It was back before I met the group I have now. But…” He waved both hands to negate the whole idea. “If you think Brett’s been in there this whole time, why the hell is he making my head feel as if it’s going to explode now? Why hasn’t it always felt that way?”
“Whoa, whoa!” I cried, lifting my hands to feign innocence. “I didn’t say I thought any such thing. I was merely listing all the possible and even the impossible reasons for your head pressure. You’re the one who jumped all over the ghost theory.”
He blinked at me. “Well, it’s the most interesting theory.” Then he shrugged. “So let’s just roll with it for a minute.”
I hissed out a breath as if disgusted by his persistence, while secretly, I was relieved. But thank God he was a weirdo who liked thinking through strange scenarios.
“Okay, fine,” I grumbled and even shook my head to make my skepticism look authentic. “So if this thing in you has been dormant for the past ten and a half years, but now suddenly…isn’t, then obviously something has…activated it.” Cringing, I more hesitantly asked, “Don’t you think?”
“Maybe.” He frowned as if that idea was insane, even as he mouthed the word something under his breath for a few seconds until his gaze snapped to mine. “Or someone,” he added. “Could a person activate it?”
I lifted my hands. “Why are you asking me as if I would actually know?”
“You didn’t read anything about reasons why ghosts in people go quiet or get active?”
“No. But if you’re suggesting that being around Genesis pissed it off enough to grow rowdy, then yes, I think it’s totally possible for her to anger even the dead.”
Hudson barked out a quick laugh. “Damn. You really don’t like her at all, do you?”
I narrowed my eyes. “How’d you guess?”
He gave a low whistle, then shook his head. “Savage. But, no, sorry. I actually wasn’t thinking about Genesis at all.” And those were words that made my heart happy. “Though, we could come back to her if my other idea turns out to be a dead end.”
“What other idea?”
“Well…” He blew out a breath and nodded as if carefully thinking his next words through before he said, “Do you think it’s possible that someone who has a close…connection to the dead could trigger a ghost that’s possessing a body to become more active?”
For the longest moment, I forgot to breathe. Then I slowly repeated, “A close connection?”
“Yeah.” He nodded and ran a hand through his wispy, messy hair. “You know, like someone who can see and talk to ghosts maybe.”
Black dots danced in my vision, so I blinked them away and leaned toward Hudson, watching him carefully. “And you actually know someone like that?”
One of his eyebrows seemed to shrug. “I might.”
“Who?”
“I’d rather not say. She really doesn’t like to broadcast it. She’s still pretty new to all this supernatural shit, and she’s worried people are either going to call her insane or a liar.”
I took a moment to just process what he’d said. But holy shit. He actually knew a sensitive. And he believed she was legit. Or, at least, he seemed to believe her.
Just to be sure, I asked, “But you don’t think she’s a crazy liar?”
“What? No.” He barked out a laugh. “Hell, we all knew what she could do before she did.”
I highly doubted that. But my mind was already moving to other issues. “We?”
Hudson only nodded. “Yeah. All my friends and I.”
“You mean, the seven?”
He lifted both eyebrows. “Very good. You’ve even learned what people call us. I’m growing more and more impressed by your stalking skills.”
“What makes you think this girl did something to stir up your ghost, though?” I demanded, needing to know. “And how did she do it?”
“I don’t…” Rattled by the aggressive way I barked the question, he shook his head and lifted his hands as he leaned away from me. “Jesus. I have no idea how.”
“Sorry.” I sank away, realizing I needed to calm my shit down. “I just… Why do you think she has anything to do with your head pressure at all?”
“Because I can’t get within ten feet of her without her breaking out with a nosebleed. Hence the reason I can’t go home tonight. She’s there—she’s one of my roommates—and I didn’t relish the idea of her bleeding out before morning just because I wanted to sleep in my own bed.”
“Oh shit,” I breathed, mouth gaping.
“Those were my thoughts exactly.”
“What’re you going to do?” I wondered, shaking my head.
He laughed. “I’m going to get this fucking thing out of me, that’s what I’m going to do.”
I nodded, feeling slightly dazed. But damn. This was actually happening.
It’d been one thing to suspect that he was possessed, but to learn it was a very real possibility made my skin go cold with dread.
“I need to do more research,” I blurted to myself.
“Since you’re the only one who figured out what was actually happening, I would say yes, you definitely do.” He lifted his eyebrows briefly when I sent him a dark glance. “No pressure.”
“How do you feel?” I asked, wanting to just go to him and hug him.
“I feel fine.” He shrugged. “Physically, anyway. As soon as I got away from O—my roommate, my headache dissipated, and right now, everything’s great. I guess my ghost just isn’t a fan of the ghost girl.”
My brow knit in confusion over that suggestion. “That’s weird.”
“Yeah. Because that’s what’s weird about all this.”
True. There should be other things so much odder about this entire situation, yet that one thing left me with the most questions. I glanced over and opened my mouth to ask more when I caught sight of him glancing down at his opened palms before slowly curling his fingers into fists.
Realizing he’d made it clear he was only physically fine, I swallowed thickly.
“How’re you doing otherwise?”
Hudson lifted his face and studied me for a moment.
“Honestly? I don’t know what the fuck to think about someone else being in here with me.” He glanced down at his chest and then poked it with his index finger as if to prod the ghost in there to respond. “Can’t say I like the idea, but still…” He cringed my way. “It’s Brett. Which is less disturbing. If it had to be anyone, that’s who I’d want it to be. But if he’s really possessing me, then how much of me is really…me? What if this is actually Brett in me running the show right now?”
I shook my head before saying, “I don’t think so.”
His gaze bore into mine intently. “Why not?”
“Because…” When I didn’t have a ready answer and stalled out there, Hudson lifted his brows in alarm. So I huffed out a harried sound, feeling pressured to answer faster, and I began to stumble over words. “There…you…” I snapped my fingers and pointed at him. “Because you notice when he’s been activated or whatever you want to call it. That’s proof right there that you can tell the difference between you and him.”
“But what if that’s actually Hudson trying to break through the surface and take control over his own body again because Brett’s been running the show all this time? What if Brett’s this easy-going charmer that just rolls with the flow and can talk to anyone, and Hudson’s some moody, standoffish prick that no one can stand? God, you know what?” Lifting his hands as if to call for order in his own racing thoughts, he shook his head. “I don’t think I’m okay with this. I don’t like it. At all.”
I sniffed. “Who would like being possessed?”
He huffed out a breath and surged to his feet, looking stressed as he ran both hands through his hair. “How the fuck do I know who I really am?”
Softening toward all the vulnerability he was showing me, I slid off my chair and took a quiet step toward him. He watched me hopefully, his gaze begging me to take all this worry off his plate. So I whispered, “Hudson?”
His eyebrows crinkled in confusion. “What?”
After hesitantly stepping up to him, I lifted my fingers slowly and cupped his face between my hands. Then I pulled him down so I could press my forehead to his.
He exhaled as he watched me, and then his lashes wavered before he shut his eyes and sank close, letting me cradle the concerns straight out of him.
When he finally seemed at peace, I asked, “Why would Brett answer to the name Hudson?”
He opened his eyes and met my gaze before huffing out a soft laugh. “Fair point,” he allowed before straightening. “Unless he’s tricking us into thinking he’s me. Because if we knew he was really him, we’d find an exorcist and cast his ass out of there. Right?”
I blinked. “I think you lost me because now I’m just confused.”
With a grin, he admitted, “I am too. And maybe don’t whisper my name like that again. It’s sexy as fuck, and now I’m all turned on while having an existential identity crisis. It’s really playing havoc on my senses.”
I pulled back to gape at him, not sure how he could tease at a time like this. And that’s when it struck me why he was so worried. He was the type of guy who could make a joke when it felt as if the entire world was falling apart around him. It was who he was. I didn’t want him to lose that any more than he wanted to.
“What if he’s the best part of me?” he asked, growing serious again.
I didn’t have an answer for that. So all I could do was shake my head and say, “I don’t think that’s the case. I think the man in front of me right now is one hundred percent unadulterated Hudson Ivey.”
He shook his head. “But how do you know?”
I shrugged. “I don’t. Just have a little faith, will you?”
Hudson groaned. “I’d like all of Faith, but we already discussed that, darlin’. I can’t have any of you. Not yet, anyway. Now… Could you get your mind out of the gutter, please, and get back to the topic at hand? We’re talking about me losing who I am, here.”
I lifted an eyebrow dryly and muttered, “Hilarious.”
“Yeah? Then why are you trying so hard not to smile?” He gently knocked his hand into my arm, coaxing the smile the rest of the way out of me.
I cracked with a snort and then rolled my eyes as my lips started to curve against my better judgment. But only Hudson could tease so smoothly with such a lame, corny pun.
“See,” he encouraged before circling a finger around his face. “I don’t want to lose this guy. Goofball dumbass that he is, I like him.”
“You’re not going to lose you,” I told him. “No matter what. I promise.”
“And how do you propose to actually keep that promise?”
“No idea,” I admitted with a shake of my head. “I just will.”
One of his eyebrows lifted as if impressed by my certainty. “Okay, then,” he agreed. “I’ll have a little faith and hold you to your word. You won’t let me lose who I am.”
“Damn straight,” I assured him with a confident nod.
He grinned. “I have no idea why, but I’m actually reassured by that.”
“You better be because I mean every word of it. I haven’t daydreamed about the man in front of me for two years just to lose him to some damn ghost who doesn’t know how to stay out of other people’s bodies. Your soul is safe with me, partner. I guarantee it.”
This time, I got him to chuckle and roll his eyes before he suddenly went somber and pointed at me in stern reprimand. “Hey, now. I’m the one who makes the best jokes in this outfit, here. Don’t you go stealing my thunder and becoming wittier than me.”
“Yes, sir.” I saluted him, then winked. “If it makes you feel better to think you’re wittier than me, I’ll let you to it.”
He paused and narrowed his eyes before letting his smile slip. Shaking his finger, he snickered, “You’re going to give me a run for my money, aren’t you?”
I didn’t answer, merely shrugged in one of those we’ll see kind of ways.
He hissed out a satisfied breath and turned away. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m beat. And ghost possession or not,I still have finals starting tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” I murmured regretfully, realizing my time with him was coming to an end. “I do too.”
Plopping onto the couch, Hudson clutched his head a moment before he began to toe off his shoes and finally remove his tie. Realizing I was just standing there, watching him, he glanced up. “Thanks for agreeing to be my guardian angel. I feel like I really needed one tonight.”
I swallowed thickly and nodded. “You need anything else? Bathroom? Toothpaste? Water?”
“Actually, yeah,” he decided. “I might take you up on that. But you go ahead and do your nightly routine first. It’s your place.”
I opened my mouth to insist that he go ahead. He was the guest. But for some reason, I stopped and nodded, letting him win that one. He seemed like he needed a win at the moment.
Sadness clothed me as I turned away to enter my room. I wished I could do more for him. But what the hell did I know about ghost possessions?
Tomorrow, I’d know more. I swore it.