23. Hudson
“So I should probably put some clothes on now,” I said, abandoning my dishes to start toward the couch.
“Um, who was that?” Faith demanded, spinning on her stool to watch me gather my pants and dress shirt. “And why is he coming here?”
“That…” I pointed at the phone with meaning. “Was the Thane we just talked about. He’s kind of an overprotective worrywart when it comes to me. Keeping me on the straight and narrow is a full-time job, I guess. Anyway, all he has to do is take a look at me, see that I’m fine, and he’ll be gone again. And I’ll be out the door right behind him, I swear. Then you’ll have your peace back, no problems. But first, do you mind if I pop in the shower real quick? I’ll be out again in five minutes.”
Faith merely blinked at me.
Translating her silence as permission, I said, “Okay, then. Great. Thank you.” And I tucked everything under my arm and turned away, only for my phone to ring again.
This time, it was Foster.
“I’m fine,” I said in place of a greeting as I hurried through Faith’s room. “Eisner’s already on his way over to check on me.” Ducking into the bathroom just in time to find Salem jumping out of her litter box to scurry between my legs and out the door, I added, “Gotta go.”
Without giving him a chance to speak, I hung up and sent out a group text, letting everyone know I was alive and that Thane was taking care of me, but I really had to hurry and get ready for the day so I couldn’t talk.
I could hear the phone buzz with replies as I stripped and stepped into the shower, but I ignored them and turned on the water, rinsing under the spray and using Faith’s flowery-scented shampoo.
Out again in record time, I grabbed the first towel I spotted and dried off. Refreshed, I pulled on yesterday’s slacks and the undershirt I’d worn but kept off the suit jacket, tie, and dress shirt. Then, raking my fingers through my hair, I checked my complexion once in the mirror and exited the bathroom barefoot.
In the kitchen, Faith had taken off her head towel and gathered her hair up into one big puff high on the top of her head. She looked ready to leave and start her day as she put away the last cleaned and dried dish in the cabinet.
“Oh man, you finished for me,” I groaned as I plopped onto the floor to pick up my socks and shoes. “I was going to clean those, I swear.”
Closing the cabinet door with a snap, she whirled toward me with a severe frown and demanded, “Just how worried about you should I be?”
I lifted my eyebrows as I paused on the last sock. “What do you mean?”
“Your friend sounded really worried. And you said taking care of you was his full-time job.”
“No.” I huffed out a groan and rolled my eyes. “I was joking. Worrying’s just his modus operandi. He worries about everything. I promise you, I’m fine.”
“And the pressure you were feeling last night?”
“Gone,” I vowed, lifting both hands to swear my honesty. “It passed as soon as I made it to your place and hasn’t been back since.”
“Did that happen last time?” she asked as she came around the bar to join me in the living room area. “When you were fourteen? The pressure would come and go, just like that?”
After a thoughtful squint, I realized, “Not really. But I could mute it for a while with drugs or alcohol back then.”
Kneeling on the floor directly in front of where I was parked and still pulling on my shoes, she looked into my eyes as she wondered, “And did you use either of those things last night to abate it?”
“No,” I said.
She shook her head. “Then why did it go away?”
With a shrug, I admitted, “I have no idea.”
Faith chewed on her lip a moment before coming up with a new question. “How long did you have the urge to hurt yourself last time before you actually cut your wrists?”
I caught my breath, then exhaled heavily and shook my head. “I don’t remember for sure. Two weeks maybe. But I’m not experiencing any of that this time. I’m fine.”
She nodded in a way that didn’t really tell me if she believed a word I said or not, but it let me know she at least understood the situation. “So we have roughly a two-week window to work with if you do start feeling that way?”
“Right.” I gave a single nod and sent her a big grin as I pushed my last foot into a shoe. “Like I said, I’m good.”
“Okay,” she answered carefully, and this time I knew she wanted to believe me. Reaching out slowly, she cupped both hands around my face and pleaded with her eyes as she added, “Just promise that you’ll say something the first moment you have another dark thought, alright?”
Gazing into her rich, chocolate eyes, all I wanted in that moment was to kiss her, nuzzle my face into hers, and soak in all the precious kindness and worry she was giving me.
“I can honestly say I’m not having a single dark thought at the moment.”
As if realizing all the warm, bright things in my head revolved around her, she flushed.
So I added, “I’m having plenty of dirty ones, though.”
Her eyes warmed with pleasure, and when she opened her mouth to reply, I was very invested in whatever she had to say, until…
Someone knocked on her door.
“Fuck,” I breathed, closing my eyes briefly. “That’s probably Thane.”
Faith pulled back as if she’d been shaken out of a dream. “Yeah,” she agreed with a clearing of her throat. “Since I never have visitors.”
Well, that was just sad. Unable to help myself, I brushed a hand along the outside of her arm as I stood.
She sighed, and I felt as if I was abandoning her as I went to the door to answer it.
Unsurprisingly, I found Thane hovering impatiently on the outside stoop. He opened his mouth, but I lifted my hands to interrupt him before he could even begin talking.
“I honestly didn’t even think putting my phone on airplane mode would worry you so much. I’m sorry, man.”
He ground his teeth as if to seek patience. “Then why did you do it?”
“Because…” I shrugged helplessly. “I was avoiding Genesis. And I didn’t want to catch any heat for coming…here.”
“And why would you catch heat for that?” he demanded as I opened the door wider and stepped back to let him in. “What’s?—?”
His words stalled as soon as he crossed the threshold and caught sight of Faith on the other side of the room.
There, he jarred to a halt and blinked once before he said, “Oh.” He glanced at me in question, and when I didn’t answer whatever silent demand he was making, he swiveled back to her stiffly. “Uh…hi. It’s—it’s Faith, right? From Calamity’s?”
“Hey. Yeah…Faith.” She waved at him awkwardly and didn’t come any closer but hovered near the kitchen bar as she glanced worriedly between Thane and me.
Thane glanced at me expectantly, and it took the lifting of his eyebrows for me to finally catch on.
“Right,” I said, clasping my hands together and turning intentionally toward Faith. “Eisner, here, would like some privacy in which to lecture me, so we’re gonna go, I guess.” Sending her a rueful smile, I added, “Thanks for lending me the couch to crash on.”
I didn’t yet feel ready to leave her, though, and a sudden tightness in my chest told me I was forgetting something. But after I gathered my suit jacket and tie, I had all my shit. There was nothing else to do here.
“Well,” I said anyway, stalling. When I made eye contact with Faith, she was hugging herself as if she thought this would be the last time we ever saw each other, and fuck, maybe it was. I didn’t have any other reason to see her again.
I opened my mouth to say just the right thing, and my brain went numb. Take care sounded stupid. Keep in touch would be totally lame. Don’t be a stranger? Hmm…
Oh! I had it.
Pointing at her, I called, “Let me know how that research turns out, huh?”
Her dark eyes brightened over the idea, and she nodded, murmuring a small, “Sure thing,” as her gaze darted to Thane and then swung back to me.
With a regretful sigh, I slung the jacket over my shoulder and followed Eisner from the apartment. We didn’t speak as we trudged down the dark stairwell with only our footsteps echoing around us.
And once we reached the open air of the back alley, I drew in a deep breath, only to grimace at the smell of garbage from the bin we passed. There were numerous restaurants, pastry shops, and candy stores along the Adobe Strip, and all their trash bins lined up side-by-side did not at all smell as good as their storefronts did.
“Alright,” I said. “Go ahead.”
Thane only sent me an irritated glance. “You know, I don’t appreciate how y’all make me out to be the strict, judgey asshole of the group. I don’t always lecture everyone about everything.”
With a cringe, I said, “I mean…you kind of do.” When he opened his mouth with a dismayed expression as if to argue, I lifted my hand to stop him. “But guidance counselor is, like, in your blood. It’s who you are and why we love you. So it’s cool. Don’t sweat it. We’d all be a pack of idiot fuckups without you. You keep us moral.”
“I’m not as straitlaced as that, you know. I mess shit up too.”
“Oh yeah?” I challenged. “When was the last time you overdosed on drugs and tried to take your own life?”
He sent me a stern look. “For your information, I had sex last night. On a first date.”
Okay, that was kind of big and dramatic for him. But I gasped and set my hand over my mouth in sarcastic shock. “Oh, my good Lord. Did you really? Was it great? Do you love her? Are you going to marry her now?’
He gave a flushing laugh and shoved at my arm. “Man. Shut up. It was nice.”
“Well, good,” I said, nodding in honest praise. “That’s what I’m talking about. But seriously… I bet you’re going to call her again and everything, aren’t you, ya uptight son of a bitch?”
“Dude! Of course I’m going to call her!” he cried, absolutely scandalized as he glanced at me as if I’d lost my mind. “I had sex with her. Damn. I’m not you.”
“Hey. Ouch.” I clutched my chest as if wounded. “That really hurts. I mean, it’s not wrong, but still.”
“And speaking of,” he went on. “What the fuck are you thinking, dragging that poor, innocent waitress into all of this?”
I released a long breath because here it came. Lecture time.
“I don’t know really,” I admitted as I cracked my knuckles on each hand and sent a head bob to the guy we passed who was sitting on the ground with his back propped against the back of a diner as if waiting for them to toss some scraps out. “I didn’t mean to involve her. I was actually trying to get hold of Union but mixed up the F’s in my contacts and got her instead.”
“Wait. You have her number?”
“Sure. And when she said it was okay to borrow her couch…” I shrugged.
Thane lifted a stern eyebrow. “And that’s all you did?” he demanded. “You just slept on the couch. Nothing else?”
My brows rose, surprised by his interest in my love life. But damn, the guy got laid, and suddenly, he wanted to hear about everyone else’s bedroom activities, too.
But sadly, I had no good tales to share. “Nothing else,” I swore. “I thought I told you I was abstaining from other women until I shook off Genesis.”
“Good.” He blew out a relieved breath. “Just keep it that way. In fact, I’d stay away from as many people as you can until we figure out what exactly is wrong with you.”
I opened my mouth as we reached the parking lot. I probably should’ve told him about Faith’s theory right then but…I don’t know.
I wasn’t ready to freak my friends out quite that much yet. I mean, ghost possession seemed pretty major, and besides, it might not be true, so I decided to just sit on that idea for the time being.
“And no more turning your damn phone off…not for any reason,” Thane was saying. “You hear me?”
“I hear you,” I mumbled, still feeling shitty for scaring him.
“In fact, I think you need to let at least one of us know where you are at all times. If you can’t even be in the same room as Oaklynn anymore without giving her a nosebleed, then things must be fairly advanced. I’m fucking worried about you.”
I nodded humbly. “Alright.” I could only imagine how much he was going to lose it when I mentioned the whole possession thing. “I’ll set up location sharing with you on Find my Friends right now.” And I pulled out my phone.
Thane was my boy. I loved and respected him more than just about anyone. Plus, he’d been the one to find me cutting my wrists when I was fourteen. I didn’t want to scare him like that again. So I was going to play by his rules without complaint.
But he frowned suspiciously as I finished and shoved my phone away again. “Why are you giving into this so easily? Do you know something I don’t?”
I lifted my brows as we approached my car. “No. Nothing.” Because speculating was light-years away from straight-up knowing, right?
He continued to scowl at me. Then he clasped my arm. “Okay,” he relented. “Thanks for not being dead…or crawling out of some crack den.”
“Hey, you’re welcome,” I answered with a nod. “I stayed alive and clean just for you.”
He shook his head at my joke, then blew out a relieved breath. “Man, when I saw the stairs to that apartment, I was sure you were going to be as high as a kite when you opened the door.”
Spreading my arms, I sent him a charming smile and said, “Surprise! Still drug-free, nearly seven years and running.”
“Thank God, but shit… We need to find that poor waitress a safer place to live. Did you see the vagrant hanging out in the alley?”
“You mean Charles?” I asked and waved an unconcerned hand. “Shit, man. Charlie’s cool. He’s an old war vet who’s just defying the government by refusing to play by the man’s rules. He’s fine.”
“Charles? You know his name?”
“Sure. I met him the other night when I tripped over him on the stairs going up to Faith’s. He was totally chill when I asked him to stop camping out on her steps.”
“The other night?” he repeated suspiciously because, of course, he had to latch onto the one point I didn’t want him to. “How the hell many times have you visited her?”
I paused suddenly, feeling caught in the act of doing something very wrong. “Just once…” When he lifted his brows, silently demanding the truth, I sent him an overly innocent cringe. “Or twice. No, wait. That was the only other time.”
“Hudson,” he growled.
“What? She’s interesting. I like her.”
“Leave the poor girl alone.”
“But I really like her,” I insisted. “I’m not just sniffing around her because she’s hot. Being around her makes everything feel…clear. Shit.” I shook my head. “I don’t know how to explain it. She’s just different, okay? And we’re friends.”
“If you like and respect her that much, then don’t drag her into this mess until we figure out what’s wrong and have it sorted, huh?”
God, I hated it when he made such logical sense. But it would be safer for Faith if I didn’t parade my possessed ass around her again until Brett was gone.
“Alright. Fine. Jeez. I’m too busy to spend that much time with her, anyway. She’s safe from me. Promise.”
“Good.” Nodding, he stuffed his hands in his pockets as he watched me unlock my car. “Got any finals today?”
“A couple. One a bit later this morning and another in the afternoon, so I’m going to head to campus now.”
“Need somewhere to change and shower first?”
“Nah. I used Faith’s shower. And I’ll just wear this.”
He huffed out an amused sound. “Sometimes I wish I could be as free and uninhibited as you are.”
“What?” I asked, curious why he thought my taking a shower at Faith’s was so wild.
“Nothing.” He shook his head. “But I feel better now that I’ve set eyes on you and can always check your location. I gotta get to work, too, though. So I’ll let you go.”
When he opened his arms for a hug, I hugged him back readily.
“Thanks for caring,” I said, meaning it. “Don’t ever stop.” His compassion was probably the only reason I was still alive today.
“I won’t,” he promised. “Take care, man.”
“You too.”
But as he walked away toward his SUV, I paused to watch him go.
He had to be the most noble, selfless guy I’d ever met. He always put everyone else first. I was glad he’d finally looked after himself a little last night.
Needing to harass him about it, though, I cupped my hands around my mouth and hollered, “Yo, Eisner!”
Turning to walk backward away from me, he called, “What?”
“Congrats on getting laid,” I shouted, making a mother and daughter who were exiting their car a few rows over glance up in surprise. “Proud of you!”