10. Razor #2
“Don’t bullshit me. I’ve known you fifteen years.
I can read you better than you read yourself.
” I exhale smoke. “You’re attracted to her.
Have been since you grabbed her. I saw it at the gas station.
The way you looked at her when you threw her on your bike.
The way you’ve been watching her since we got here. ”
“She’s a hostage?—”
“She’s a woman. A strong, fierce woman who’s been through hell and refuses to break. Exactly your type.” I meet his eyes. “And now you find out she’s Tyler’s ex. That she’s the woman your son’s been beating. That changes things.”
“Makes it worse, you mean.”
“Makes it complicated.”
Hawk laughs. It’s not a happy sound. “Complicated. That’s one word for it.”
“What’s the other word?”
“Fucked up. Inappropriate. Wrong.” He runs a hand over his face. “She’s Tyler’s ex. My son’s ex. I shouldn’t be—I can’t?—”
“But you do.”
He doesn’t answer. Doesn’t need to.
“Shadow feels it too,” I say, dropping the bomb.
Hawk’s head snaps toward me. “What?”
“Shadow’s attracted to her. Has been since day one. The almost-kiss on the porch? That wasn’t just him being Shadow. He wanted her. Still wants her.”
“Shadow wants every woman he meets.”
“Not like this. This is different. You saw him yesterday. Saw how he reacted when I spanked her.” I take another drag.
“He’s getting attached. Trying to fight it, but it’s there.
He asked me about her this morning. Wanted to know if I thought she’d ever trust us.
If she’d ever see us as anything other than the men who kidnapped her. ”
“What’d you tell him?”
“That time would tell. That we need to keep her alive first, earn her trust second, and worry about everything else third.”
“And he accepted that?”
“No. He’s Shadow. He wants what he wants when he wants it. But he understands the situation we’re in. Understands that pushing too hard too fast will just drive her away.”
Hawk’s quiet for a long moment. Then: “And you?”
I consider lying. Consider downplaying it. But Hawk deserves honesty.
“Yeah,” I admit. “Me too.”
“Jesus Christ.”
“She’s got something. That fire. That refusal to quit even when everything’s against her.
” I search for the word. “Compelling. She could’ve broken after everything Tyler put her through.
Could’ve become timid, submissive, defeated.
But she didn’t. She’s still fighting. Still sharp.
Still has that edge that says she’s not going down without taking someone with her. ”
“She’s a hostage.”
“For now.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
I turn to face him fully. “It means Shadow and I have been talking. About what happens after. About what we want.”
“And?”
“We want her.”
Hawk stares at me like I’ve lost my mind. “You want her. Tyler’s ex. The woman we kidnapped. The woman whose life is currently in danger from multiple directions. That’s who you want.”
“Yeah.”
“Both of you.”
“Yeah.”
“You’re fucking insane.”
“Probably.” I shrug. “But that doesn’t change what we want.”
Hawk’s shaking his head. “You can’t just—she’s not—this isn’t some woman you picked up at a bar. This is complicated.”
“Everything worth having is complicated.”
“She’ll never agree to it. She doesn’t trust us. Barely tolerates us. You think she’s going to what, just fall into bed with the men who kidnapped her?”
“Eventually.” I keep my voice level. Matter-of-fact. “Once she’s safe. Once Tyler’s dealt with. Once she understands we’re not like him. Once she sees that what we’re offering isn’t control or ownership. It’s partnership. Protection. Something real.”
“You’re delusional.”
“Maybe. But Shadow and I are going for her anyway.” I meet his eyes. “Question is, are you?”
Hawk goes very still. “What?”
“You heard me. Shadow and I want her. We’re going to pursue her. Make our intentions clear once this situation settles. You can join us, or you can watch from the sidelines.”
“That’s easy for you to say. You and Shadow have been sharing women for years. This wouldn’t be new for you.”
“No, it wouldn’t.”
“Tyler’s my son.”
“Tyler’s a piece of shit who beat her for four years. He doesn’t get a say in what happens to her now.”
“It’s not that simple?—”
“It is that simple.” I crush my second cigarette. “You want her. I can see it. Shadow can see it. Probably Jade can see it too. The only person pretending otherwise is you.”
“Because she’s my son’s ex. Because pursuing her is?—”
“What? Wrong? Why, because Tyler had her first?” I laugh. “He didn’t have her. He owned her. Controlled her. Hurt her. That’s not a relationship. That’s captivity. She escaped him. Now she gets to choose what happens next. And if she chooses us? Tyler doesn’t get to complain.”
Hawk’s jaw clenches. “This is different.”
“How?”
“Because he’s my son. Because going after his ex feels like betraying him.”
“You owe Tyler nothing. You said it yourself—you failed him as a father. You can’t fix that. But you can make sure the woman he hurt gets a chance at something better. Something that doesn’t involve fists and fear.”
“Something that involves three men who kidnapped her.”
“Three men who are keeping her alive when everyone else wants her dead.” I light a third cigarette. “We’re not saints. But we’re sure as hell better than Tyler.”
Hawk’s quiet for a long time. Just stands there, smoking, processing.
“This morning,” I say, breaking the silence, “Shadow and I talked. Really talked. About what we’ve been feeling. About how she’s different from other women we’ve been with. About how this isn’t just attraction. It’s something deeper.”
“What did he say?”
“That he hasn’t felt this way since his ex-wife.
That Jade reminds him of who he used to be before the club hardened him.
That she makes him want to be better.” I take a drag.
“And that he’s terrified of fucking it up.
Of being just another man who hurts her.
Of proving she was right not to trust us. ”
“And you?”
“I told him I feel the same way. That I’ve been watching her, reading her, trying to figure out what makes her tick. And the more I learn, the more I want to know. The more I see her strength, the more I want to protect it. Not control it. Not break it. Just… be there while she rebuilds herself.”
Hawk’s expression softens slightly. “You’ve really thought about this.”
“Yeah. We have. Because this isn’t some impulse decision. This is us recognizing that we’ve found someone worth fighting for. Someone who’s been fighting alone for too long.”
“She might not want us.”
“She might not. But we’re going to give her the option. Going to show her that not all men are like Tyler. That there’s another way. A better way.”
“And if she says no?”
“Then we respect that. We keep her safe, get her home to her kid, and we let her go. But at least we’ll have tried. At least we’ll have given her the choice.”
Hawk’s silent again. I can see the war playing out behind his eyes. Guilt versus want. Loyalty to a son he failed versus attraction to a woman who deserves better.
“You don’t have to decide right now,” I say. “But Shadow and I are moving forward. After this deadline passes. After we get Jade safe. We’re going to make our intentions known. You can join us or you can watch from the sidelines. Your call.”
I turn to head back inside, then pause.
“For what it’s worth,” I add, “I think you’d regret not trying. You’ve spent twenty years regretting the choices you made with Tyler. Don’t add her to that list.”
I leave him there, staring into the woods, working through the impossible choice I’ve just laid at his feet.
Inside, Shadow’s at the kitchen table, cleaning his gun. He looks up when I enter. “How’d he take it?”
“About as well as expected.”
“Think he’ll join us?”
“Don’t know. But we gave him the option. That’s all we can do.”
Shadow nods, goes back to his gun. “Twelve hours left.”
“Yeah.”
“We need a plan that doesn’t involve all of us getting killed.”
“Working on it.”
He looks up at me again. “You really think she’d consider this? Us?”
“I think she’s stronger than any woman I’ve ever met. Smart enough to see that we’re not Tyler. And once she feels safe?” I shrug. “Anything’s possible.”
“You’re more optimistic than I am.”
“One of us has to be.”
He laughs. “Fair enough.”
Through the window, I can see Hawk. Still smoking. Still processing.
He’ll come around. Or he won’t.
Either way, Shadow and I have made our choice. We want Jade, and we’re going to pursue her. The only question is whether Hawk’s guilt over Tyler is stronger than his attraction to the woman Tyler tried to break.
My money’s on the attraction.
Hawk’s a good man. But he’s also human. And humans want what they want, regardless of how complicated it makes things.
We’ve got twelve hours to survive Reaper’s deadline.
And then we’ll see what happens when three men decide to pursue the same woman.
The woman who happens to be the ex of one of their sons.
Yeah. This is going to get messy.