Chapter 32
Juliana
”Juli...” I hear him say and lean back breathing heavily. His voice sounded regretful. My cheeks flush with embarrassment and I can”t look at him. He is the one who kissed me first, why is he pushing me away now?
”I”m sorry. God, I want to. I really do.” He mumbles, then lets go of my hand. I move back on the bed getting out from under him and look everywhere but at him, pulling my legs to my chest.
”This is awkward.” I chuckle nervously, trying to lighten the mood but I don”t feel like laughing. I want to crawl under the covers and hide, from him and from everyone else. Instead of facing the awkward situation in front of me, I stare at the wall across from the bed and try to pretend it isn’t happening.
I hear him laugh to humor me, but his laugh has no joy in it and it does nothing to erase my embarrassment.
”Juli,” he says my name again before he pauses. When he doesn”t continue right away, I peek at him and he is staring at me.
”I”m sorry,” I say and he smiles sadly which makes me frown. Why is he sad? Wait, he said he wanted to, didn”t he? Wanted to what? Keep going? I shake my head trying to brush away the thoughts and he gives me a strange look. I must look insane arguing with myself in my head.
”Juli,” he begins again and the way he keeps saying my name makes me want to scream. ”I... I like you. I like you.” He repeats and I”m about to tell him I like him too but he holds up his hand to stop me. ”No, let me finish.” He waits until I nod then he continues. ”I like you. I have always liked you. First, as friends when we grew up together. Well, you”re a bit younger so I guess I grew up then I watched you grow up.” I give him a disapproving look and he winces. ”Yeah, okay that didn”t come out right. I”m not good at this. Okay, so yes, I like you. It started just as friends but I’ve realized that now it’s developed into a type of like that goes beyond friendship. I”m not to the point of fiancée liking yet but who knows.” He pauses to take a breath and I jump in quickly.
“Kurt,” I say as I put my hand over his. “We don’t have to do this tonight. It’s been a really stressful day.” Kurt chuckles and nods. I smile at him, noticing his eyelids starting to flutter as he gets tired. “Also you’re definitely a little drunk. So I am going to apologize for almost taking advantage of you.”
Kurt’s burst of laughter makes me laugh as well. I squeeze his hand and get off the bed. I grab his arm and haul him off the bed too. He stumbles a bit but I am able to catch him and he leans against me.
“Where are we going?” Kurt asks. I lead him to the bathroom and set him on the edge of the bathtub, making sure he’s steady before releasing him and going to the stand-alone shower. I turn it on then grab his fresh towel out of the cabinet and hang it beside the shower. “Do I smell that bad?” Kurt teases me when he realizes what I’m doing.
“Honestly? Yes, it’s not horrible but you smell like Benny’s bar, and no offense to him but it’s time for a deep clean.” I stick my hand in the shower and feel that the temperature is decently warm. I dry my hand off. “Okay, I will go grab your pajamas for you. Are you okay to shower?”
“Yes,” Kurt stands up. He wobbles a little bit and I make a move to go to his side but he puts his hand up to stop me. “I’m fine. I’ve got this.”
“Okay, I’ll just stay in the bedroom. Holler if you need anything.” I turn to leave but Kurt reaches out and touches me gently. I turn back to face him. “Yes?’
“Thank you,” Kurt says, then drops his arm to his side. I nod and give a small smile in acknowledgment. “And I’m sorry. For tonight, it kind of got out of hand.”
“Don’t worry about it.” I offer another smile. “I was right there with you. Anyway, go shower. I’ll be right outside.” I say then exit the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. I hear him stumbling around for a minute then hear the shower door open and close. I turn on the TV to at least pretend like I’m doing something other than dwelling on this whole day then I sit down on the bed and send a text to Tatyana.
Juliana:We just made out…
Tatyana responds almost immediately.
Tatyana: What?!?!?!?
Tatyana: Tell me everything
I grin down at my phone. Part of me feels giddy from what happened and what Kurt confessed but another part of me is dwelling on the fact that he pulled away. I chew on my lip thinking about how to respond to Tatyana.
Juliana: Long story short - we had our housewarming party, Kurt unknowingly hired Callum’s band, Callum sang a really inappropriate song about me, and I fell apart
Juliana: Kurt fixed everything, took me out, he got a little drunk when we got back he pulled me in into his lap, we kissed, made our way to the bed
Juliana: But right before it could go any further, he stopped it
Tatyana responds before I can tell her the rest of the story.
Tatyana: WHAT?!!?
I hear the shower shut off and can hear movement in the bathroom. Whoops, I forgot to put his pajamas in the bathroom. I set my phone on the bed and go to the closet. Kurt’s typical nightwear, I’ve learned, is an old t-shirt and boxers. I open his dresser and grab one of each out of the top drawer then set them on the edge of the bed, not wanting to go into the bathroom and disturb him.
When I go back to my side of the bed, I scoop up my phone and see Tatyana has texted me a few more times, impatient as ever.
Tatyana: We will talk about Callum later but KURT why did he stop???
Tatyana: ?
Tatyana: ????
I quickly text back, listening to the noise in the bathroom and hearing the sink on while he brushes his teeth. I know he’ll be done soon so I skip to the good part.
Juliana: He said he likes me!
Tatyana: I knew it!
Tatyana: Oooh I sooo knew it!
Tatyana: I told you!
Tatyana: Did you tell him you like him too????
I sigh and look up at the bathroom door again. Maybe I should tell him. Kurt opens the door and comes into the room. He only has a towel around his waist. I quickly look away, but not after his glistening chest stirs something in me.
“I put your pajamas on the bed.” I gesture to the end of the bed, where the clothes lay. I keep my eyes on my phone and my head down even though I very badly want to look up.
“Thank you,” Kurt grabs his things and then goes back to the bathroom. He doesn’t shut the door all the way but I again keep myself from looking. Instead, I focus on responding to Tatyana.
Juliana:I did not... Maybe he doesn’t even like me for real, you know?
Juliana: I’ve forced him into this crazy situation, we’ve been spending a lot of time together, and then with what went down at the housewarming party...
Juliana: He’s probably just feeling protective of a friend and confusing it with feelings of more than that…
My fingers fly across my phone typing as fast as I can without any typos. I really need to see Tatyana in person soon so we can discuss everything. Texting is just not doing it for me.
Tatyana: Juliana! Don’t second guess everything, you both like each other.
Tatyana: Ugh we need to have a girl”s night soon!
I smile at my phone, grateful she feels the same. I send her a quick text back agreeing and telling her that I want to hear all about her trip with Mike then I put my phone away as Kurt enters the room again. He’s dressed in his pajamas this time. Kurt slides under the covers and looks over at me, his eyelids drooping. I wait for him to say something but when he doesn’t, I look over at him. He’s just silently watching me.
“What?” I ask and he smiles sleepily up at me but he still doesn’t speak. “Okay then.” I laugh then get up off the bed. “I’m going to shower now.”
“Hey,” Kurt finally says before I get to the bathroom. I look back at him and wait. He reaches out his hand and waves me toward him. I take a few steps closer and put my hand in his outstretched one. Before I know what’s happening, he gives my hand a tug and I topple over the bed, half on him. I try to right myself to a standing position but his hand goes behind my neck and he keeps me down on him. He shifts himself and then pulls me gently until our lips meet. I’m surprised, our second kiss, in one evening too.
I press my lips firmly against him, tasting his minty fresh breath, and leaning into him which loosens his grip on me. It loosens enough for me to pull away. I push myself off the bed and stand up beside him. He looks up at me and smiles.
“Enjoy your shower.”
I bite my lip and then roll my eyes at him. I get to the bathroom and shut the door behind me. I hear him chuckle, his laugh deeper than normal, filled with sleep.
The bathroom is still steamy from Kurt’s shower and the water heats up quickly for me. When I get in, I spend a few minutes just standing under the hot stream, trying to relax after a long stressful day. I try not to think about everything that happened but of course, I can’t stop myself. My thoughts go to Kurt and how he handled Callum’s immature behavior and my tears. It reminds me of when we were younger at his parent’s lake house when he comforted me through the tears and pain. We were just talking about that recently and again he proved that he is great at comforting me through the tears.
Close to the end of my shower routine, I’m brushing my hair and thinking about Kurt. I want to talk to him before bed. I need to hurry up. I finish washing my face and then turn off the shower. I dry off, put my hair up in a towel, and wrap my shower towel around me. I take my time brushing my teeth then peek back into the bedroom. Kurt is facing away from the door and I can’t tell if he is awake or not. The TV is still on, with the volume off but that’s how I left it.
The closet is a short distance away from the bathroom and I’m able to grab a t-shirt, underwear, and pajama shorts. I head back to the bathroom and change quickly, hoping Kurt is still awake. When I go back to the bedroom, I take a closer look at Kurt, his eyes are closed while he breathes deeply.
Darn, I guess I’ll just have to talk to him tomorrow. I sigh quietly before turning off the TV and making my way to my side of the bed in the dark. I slide beneath the covers and turn to face Kurt. He is facing me as well, deeply asleep. I smile.
“Goodnight, Kurt.”