Chapter 39
Juliana
When the stylist asks if I am ready to show everyone, I have mixed reactions. I know that she can tell I love this dress. I nod reluctantly. That’s why we came here. That’s why Ms. Michaels set all of this up. To see all the options for a wedding dress. I shouldn’t show them this dress. I know I shouldn’t. Maybe they won’t like it as much as I do. But then again maybe they’ll see how much I like it and that will make them like it more. There are too many thoughts going through my head. Before I know it, the stylist has me up on the platform and I hear gasps and murmurs again. This time, they sound like good reactions. After they admire the back of the dress and take peeks of my front in the mirror, the stylist helps me turn around to face them.
Looking around the group I see three out of the five have tears in their eyes. Merrin and Tatyana are the ones without tears but Merrin is grinning. Tatyana looks like she wants to love it but she knows our situation and she gives me a sad look. I realize I have a smile on my face but as soon as I see Tatyana’s reaction, the smile fades. I look down at the floor, seeing the beautiful train of the dress twisted around the platform.
“So, what does everyone think?” The stylist asks everyone and reaches down to straighten out the train of the dress. The train is delicate lace and extends maybe three feet longer than the end of the dress, which is kind of a dramatic length but it looks incredible with this dress.
“I love it!” Mrs. Michaels chokes out, dabbing tears from her face. She reaches over and squeezes my mother”s hand. My mother has tears in her eyes as well. She smiles over at Mrs. Michaels then gets up to stand beside me in front of the mirror. My mom takes my hand and turns me to face the mirror again, she smiles at me in the mirror.
“You look beautiful,” my mom says softly. Everyone gets up off the couch to join us and get a closer look at the dress.
“Wow, Juliana, this is the one.” Merrin touches the bodice of the dress, mesmerized by it. Everyone takes their turn touching different parts of the dress, admiring it. “This is the one.”
“Yeah, I think this is the one.” Tatyana agrees with her and I shoot her a look, she shrugs and mouths ‘sorry’.
“Oh, Juliana,” Gram comes to stand beside me as well. “This dress is amazing and you look incredible. I agree, this is the one.”
I sigh and look at myself in the mirror. Obviously, I can’t buy this dress. I can’t spend real money on a real wedding dress for a wedding that isn’t going to happen.
“I don’t know…” I see everyone’s faces in the mirror. Everyone is staring at me and they are all smiling. Everyone looks happy. I don’t want to let anyone down but I know if I bought the dress it would just make everything worse. “I do like it. I love it. I just don’t have the money to purchase it at the moment. Especially since we don’t even have a date set for the wedding.” I turn around to face away from the mirror as everyone goes back to their seats.
“That’s true,” Tatyana pipes up. “You shouldn’t get the dress too soon because you never know how long the engagement will be. Could be short but also could be a year or so. You two should really have that conversation.” Tatyana gives me a pointed look as she plops back into her chair. She crosses her arms and leans back in the chair.
“Thank you, Tatyana.” I smile a tight smile at her and she laughs. I turn to address the stylist. “Thank you, it’s beautiful but for now I think it will just be a dream for the future.” The stylist nods and helps me back to the dressing room to change out of the dress and back into my normal clothes.
When I come out of the dressing room Mrs. Michaels and Gram are admiring the dress where it hangs, on a hook outside the dressing room. They look up as I exit and they both smile at me.
“I’m sorry that we sprung this little trip on you.” Mrs. Michaels tosses her arm around my shoulder and pulls me into a side hug. I smile and lean into her for the hug. “I hope it wasn’t too much for you.”
“Oh no, of course not. It was very nice of you to set this up for me and everyone. I had a lot of fun. I’m sorry it didn’t exactly end up with a happy ending.”
“Oh dear, don’t worry about it.” Mrs. Michaels waves her hand, dismissing my apology. “I should have realized it was too soon to go dress shopping, I guess I got a little excited.”
“Can we still try on bridesmaid dresses?” Merrin pops up next to us, smiling and lifting the mood. We look over at the stylist who smiles at us.
“You do have a five-hour appointment. And it’s only been about three.” She checks her watch to confirm and gives a nod then looks up at me for approval. I turn to look at Tatyana and see her face looking a little terrified. I smile and nod my head in approval.
“Oh, yes. I think we should. Can we go around the shop again and look at the dresses for the bridesmaids?” I look back at the stylist and she points out all the racks for bridesmaid dresses. I excitedly make my way over to Tatyana and drag her off the couch. She groans but lets me lead her to a rack of bridesmaid dresses. Merrin joins us and soon we are all crowded around the different racks.
“So, is there a theme that we want to stick to when looking for bridesmaid dresses?” Mrs. Michaels asks. I’ve noticed she’s done most of the talking today. My mom usually talks a lot as well but I guess she is trying to be on her best behavior in front of Mrs. Michaels, her future in-law. Well, not really but she thinks so, everyone thinks so. This is so hard.
“I like pastels.” I offer up, not really sure what theme I want but drawing from their earlier discussion. Mostly because there isn’t a real wedding to have a theme for. Of course, I have thought about my wedding a few times, more than a few times but that does not mean I thought specifically about this wedding right now.
“See! I knew it. I mentioned pastel earlier, didn’t I? I totally did.” Merrin claps her hands excitedly and starts shifting through dresses to find pastel-colored ones.
“That you did,” My mom says and gives me a look. I shrug. “I thought you always wanted your wedding to be pink and sparkly, with tons of flowers?” My mom smiles as she teases me. She seems be having fun and enjoying herself today. I smile and laugh at the comment.
“I still like pink, certain shades. And flowers. But sparkly? Not so much.” I laugh again remembering that I did in fact want a pink, sparkly, and floral wedding when I was younger.
“And I don’t mean pastel pink, I am talking about bright pink, hot pink.” My mom teases me more and we both are laughing. “Hm, that would be a fun idea for the bridesmaid dresses?” She looks at me and raises her eyebrows, smirking a bit then looks over at Tatyana. Tatyana’s face drains of color and she looks horrified.
“Oh lord, please don’t make me wear hot pink.” Tatyana groans again showing her disgust at the idea.
“Yeah, normally I would say yes to whatever you, the bride, would pick but honey no. Please no hot pink.” Even Merrin looks a little worried which makes my mom and I laugh even harder. Mrs. Michaels starts snickering a bit too and Gram follows soon and we all start laughing. Tatyana still looks a little scared but I reach out and squeeze her arm.
“Don’t worry, I won’t force you two to wear hot pink. I think I grew away from that a few years back. We should probably stick with pastels for now. Oh! Here’s a cute one!” I pull a delicate blue dress off of the rack and hold it out for everyone to see.
“Ooo, yes. That is beautiful.” Merrin reaches out and I hand the dress to her.
“There are more dresses similar to that dress, if you’d like to see?” The stylist comes over to us. “It is part of a collection. We have the same dress in multiple colors and then we also have the same color dress but in different styles, if either of those ideas is of interest to you.”
“Uhm, can we see the same dress but in different colors first?” I make the decision and the stylist nods and goes to pull more colors in the same style.
The stylist brings them back over and hangs them all for display on a rack facing our group. There are four different colors including the blue one. The other three are; green, pink, and gray. All the colors are light pastels and would fit the theme I have in mind if the wedding was real. This is probably going too far at this point but I don’t know how to stop it, I don’t know how to get out of this day. Hopefully, there aren’t more days like this in the future. I have enjoyed hanging out with everyone but dress shopping for a wedding that isn’t going to happen is such a stressful situation. Especially spending five hours on it.
Tatyana reaches for the gray dress but I’m quicker, I smack her hand away and hand her the pink dress. She groans audibly but accepts the dress. I turn to Merrin and think for a second then hand her the green dress. She smiles and accepts it, excited by the choice.
“Okay!” The stylist claps her hands and then gestures to the dressing rooms. Tatyana and Merrin each go into one of the other rooms and the stylist moves to help Merrin while I offer to help Tatyana. The stylist thanks me and shows me the back of the dress and how to fashion it once the dress is on. I nod my head while watching and confirm that I understand. Once I’m in the dressing room with Tatyana, she whispers to me.
“I can’t believe you’re actually letting them pick out bridesmaid dresses and your own bridal dress!” She whispers harshly and I shush her. “And worst of all, you’re making me try on the pink dress!”
“You’re lucky they didn’t have a yellow option for this dress,” I whisper back while I lace up the back of her dress and fix the fabric to get it right; the way the stylist showed me.
“Uh!” Tatyana gasps looking at me in the mirror. “You wouldn’t!” I chuckle and give her a look with my eyebrows raised. My expression says, ‘Test me, I dare you’.
“Oh, come on. You look great in yellow.” I tease her but honestly, she does look good in yellow. She hates it but also knows she looks good in yellow.
“You ladies ready to come out?” The stylist calls to us and I hear her push back the curtain of Merrin’s dressing room.
“Yup, all set here,” I say then push our curtain back and step out then I take Tatyana’s seat to see the show of bridesmaid dresses.
Merrin and Tatyana step out pretty much at the same time and the stylist helps both of them up onto the platform in front of us and the giant mirrors. There are a few initial reactions that show everyone is relatively pleased with the dresses.
“So what do you all think of the dresses?” The stylist asks, looking around at the group.
“I like the dress, I do. I’m not sure which color. Can we see the blue dress on someone?” Mrs. Michaels asks the stylist and she nods looking over at Tatyana and Merrin. Tatyana looks pretty bored but I know she’ll want to get out of the pink dress.
“Actually, we have both of their sizes in the blue if you are interested in seeing them wear the same style and color bridesmaid dress?” The stylist looks at me for approval.
“Oh, sure. I’m open to anything at this point.” I shrug and Tatyana looks annoyed again but accepts the dress when the stylist hands it to her. I get up to help again but Mrs. Michaels waves me off.
“No dear, you shouldn’t have to help. Just sit back and relax. I’ll help her with this one.” Mrs. Michaels smiles at me and goes over to help Tatyana. Tatyana gives me a look over Mrs. Michaels’ shoulder, which thankfully she doesn’t notice. I shrug and sit back down.
“Are you having a nice day?” My mother comes to sit beside me. I straighten my back, sitting up, ready to be evasive if she asks about the wedding or the relationship.
“Yes, thank you. It was very sweet of Mrs. Michaels to set all of this up. Even though Kurt and I just got engaged.” I add, trying not to press the matter but still a little confused why we needed to jump into dress shopping so quickly.
“She’s just excited,” my mom says, keeping her eyes on the dressing rooms. “We all are. It was all a little sudden so we were also surprised but this is exciting news. Kurt is a great man.”
“Thanks, I know,” I respond and smile at her. The more I spend time with Kurt the more I get to know how great he is. “And yes it was sudden which is why we’ve discussed taking our time with the engagement. We don’t want to rush to the altar, we want to enjoy living together and getting to know each other better for a bit first. So I hope no one expects us to have a wedding right away.” I say it as politely as I can but try to speak firmly. I really should be saying this with Mrs. Michaels around but I think my mom will also tell her what I said.
“What are you ladies discussing?” Gram comes over to sit with us. She puts her arm around me to give me a hug, I lean into her.
“Juliana was just saying how she and Kurt are probably going to have a long engagement,” my mother responds for us and I clear my throat.
“Kind of. I was explaining that since we just moved in together and we got engaged pretty fast, we aren’t going to rush the wedding.” I offer the half-baked explanation but I’m already tired of lying to everyone. The guilt is starting to eat at me and shopping for dresses has escalated the whole situation. Gram nods in understanding and pats my back.
“Alright, here are the two blue dresses in the same style.” The stylist says as she steps out from the dressing room, pulling back the curtain. Mrs. Michaels pulls her curtain back a second later and she steps out of the way to let Tatyana out. Tatyana and Merrin both exit their respective dressing rooms and come to stand on the platform in front of us once again.
“I need to step outside for a minute,” I say, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by everything. I stand up quickly and everyone looks concerned. Tatyana looks at me, questioning if I want her to come with me but I shake my head. “I just need some air.” I excuse myself and walk outside, leaving Tatyana to cover for me, bringing everyone’s attention back to the dresses. The door closes behind me before I let myself lean against the wall and take a deep breath.
“Did you just come out of that bridal boutique?” A deep voice asks, shocked.
Oh no, seriously? Why do I always have to run into him at the worst time?