Chapter 53
Juliana
I pace around my room, going back and forth between the closet and the mirror. “Why isn’t this mirror closer to my clothes? I’m sweating up a storm!” I huff and make another trip back to my closet. I hear Tatyana laughing on my bed and I throw a hanger at her. “You could be helping me right now!” I say as I stomp back to the mirror to admire or rather judge my next choice in outfit.
“No,” she says, sitting up and pointing her finger at me. “I refuse to help. I don’t support you going on this date with Callum.”
I twist my hips trying to see myself from different angles. The skirt sticks out and makes my hips look huge. I yank it off, tossing it onto the growing pile of discarded clothes. I hear the bed creak as Tatyana gets off it. She appears next to me in the mirror, looking over me, processing.
“Okay, I’ll help. But not because I approve, only because you desperately need my help.” She takes a step back and looks at me again then she turns her focus on the discarded pile of clothing. She begins to dig through them, tossing items every which way. “Where is he taking you?”
I bite my lip, thinking. “I don’t actually know. He never said anything specific.” I pull out my phone and debate texting him, wanting to know what attire I should wear.
“Put your phone down, I have the perfect outfit. It’ll work for any date. I am so good at this.” She hands me different articles of clothing, jumbled in a ball. I pull my light-toned, ripped jeans over my thick thighs, jumping and wiggling a bit to get myself into them. I breathe heavily when I get them buttoned.
“They are a little tighter than I remember.” I frown and look at myself in the mirror. My hips are a little muffin top-looking but then Tatyana hands me a cute gray, long-sleeved but thin crop top with purple and green flowers on it. The crop top is longer than usual ones so it kisses the top of my jeans. I twist to uncomfortable angles to look at the outfit. “Okay, not bad. But what if it’s chilly out?” She goes into my closet and digs through a drawer of scarves. She returns carrying a beautiful green one that matches the green of my shirt, a scarf that I did not know I owned. I wrap it around my neck and nod. “Okay, fine, that is cute and keeps my neck warm but what about my arms?” I turn to face her. She hands me a pair of gray booties and socks that won’t be seen and I plop down on the bed to put them on.
“Honey, if he is trying to prove he’s a gentleman, he will give you his jacket.” She states firmly then leaves my room. I struggle to get off the bed with my tight pants on, then I follow behind her, grabbing my purse and sifting through it to make sure I have everything I might need. “Don’t be out too late. And you better come right here afterward. I mean that. He isn’t taking you back to his place, he isn’t taking you to another location, none of that. You got it?”
“Yes, Mother.” I roll my eyes and she throws a pillow at me as she dives onto the couch.
“I am going to wait up.” She states, leaving no room to argue. “Text me if you need anything. I’m serious. If he’s being a jackass, which is likely to happen, text me and I will come pick you up.”
I nod then blow kisses at her which makes her roll her eyes but smile at me. I leave the apartment, shutting the door behind me and head to the stairs. I wish we had an elevator, I don’t want to get sweaty. I take my time going down the stairs and then find myself at the door to the lobby. I check my reflection in the window near the door and tuck stray pieces of hair behind my ear.
Once in the lobby, I look around. The small lobby has a stand for the doorman and a chair next to it but little else, and we’ve never had a doorman either. I check my watch and see the time is 6:58 and I push open the doors of the building, the gust of wind making the door heavy before I am let out into the humid air. I guess I won’t be needing his jacket. I look down each side of the sidewalk, seeing unfamiliar faces before my eyes land on a figure leaning up against the side of my building. When I see him, he looks up and grins at me. He walks over to me and offers his hand.
“Shall we?” I smile and accept his offer, sliding my hand into his. And it doesn’t fit. His hands are warm and clammy. I think about how perfectly my hand fits into Kurt’s hand but I quickly shake that thought away. “You look amazing.” He says smiling over at me and giving me a quick once over.
“Thank you. You clean up nicely.” I respond and he grins at me. I can’t help but smile even though something seems amiss. Our hands swing between us and I am grateful for the bit of space. “So, what do you have planned for this evening?” I ask, trying to seem excited.
“You’ll have to wait and see.” I groan, tilting my head back.
“Please?” I whine a bit, hating surprises. This only makes him laugh and he shakes his head. “Fine, but if it is a fancy place I will be so mad at you for not warning me. I’m not dressed for anything fancy.”
“Don’t worry, you look perfect.” I blush a little, looking down at the concrete, and watching our shoes take different strides. His are long and slow, while my stride is quick and rushed, my short legs trying to keep up with his lengthy ones.
He lifts his arm, our hands still intertwined, and drapes it over my shoulder, pulling me close to him. The air is muggy and I don’t need the extra heat but I know he is trying to be sweet so I lean into him, our hips bumping as we walk.
“I hope you don’t mind walking. I thought it was a nice night for a walk. That way we can spend more time together and if you get really hungry, there are a bunch of restaurants around here so we can always stop if you see something you like.” I smile, appreciating the thought but wondering if he doesn’t have anything planned except for stopping whenever I get hungry. He seems to sense my hesitation. “And yes, I do have something planned but it’s a few blocks away and I know you, you are always hungry. And I am just trying to show that I am flexible when it comes to things you want to do.” He points out and I laugh.
“Alright, alright. Well, I am a bit hungry but I think I can wait.”
We continue our walk, in silence, taking in the lights and the scenery around us. The sky gets darker and the lights of the city come to life. Bicycles pass us, their orange and yellow lights flashing, making their presence known. The headlights of cars light up the darkened alleys and expose their hidden secrets before moving on to their next target. The chatter of the people on the sidewalk around us blends into the humming of the street lamps and the chirp of the crickets. The moon comes into view as we round a corner and make our way down the block.
“It really is a beautiful night.” I look up at the moon and then feel eyes watching me. I look over to Callum and smile. “What? Do I have something on my face?” He smiles at my usual line and laughs.
“No, no. Your face is perfect.” I blush and look away. He stops walking and tucks his hand under my chin gently lifting my face to look up at him. He looks like he is about to kiss me and I panic. My body wants to accept his kiss but my heart and mind know I am not ready for it yet. He smiles at me before doing anything. “We’re here.” He releases my chin and opens the door of the restaurant for me.
“Thank you,” I say, my cheeks still pink, a little embarrassed. Callum retrieves my hand when we enter the restuarant, pulling me through the crowded space. I let him lead me, trusting him while I take in the scene.
The restaurant isn’t too fancy but it is very popular. The taco joint has high tables scattered around with a few lower seats thrown in the middle. I watch as couples of all ages, sizes, and ethnicities, munch on their delicious dishes and talk happily. The atmosphere is welcoming. The walls have murals painted onto the brick and concrete foundations. I take time to study them as Callum leads me to our table. We take a seat next to what I’ve decided is my favorite mural. The mural depicts a giant taco and a margarita with faces, having what seems to be a funny conversation. The speech bubbles have faded so I can’t read what they have said to each other but their expressions are enough for me.
Once we are seated, I turn away from the mural and face Callum. He opens his mouth about to speak but a waitress appears at our table and places menus in front of us. “Hi, my name is Melissa and I will be your server for the evening. Have either of y’all eaten with us before?” We both shake our heads and it makes me a little excited to think about us sharing a new experience. The waitress goes on to explain a few items on the menu but I tune her out and start to look over the menu for myself.
“…and she’ll have a Dr. Pepper.” I hear and I look up from the menu. Callum looks over at me and smiles.
“Alright, I’ll go get your drinks and give you some time to look over the menu.” She leaves the table, leaving us to each other’s company.
“I hope you didn’t mind me ordering for you. She did ask you but you were very concentrated on your menu. You do still like Dr. Pepper, don’t you?” He asks, starting confident and then wavering with his question.
I nod, assuring him. “Yes, I love Dr. Pepper. Thank you. I hope she didn’t think I was being rude.”
“To be honest, I don’t think she even noticed. She wasn’t really paying attention, just enough to hear the correct order.” We both share a chuckle then I go back to looking at my menu. We spend a few minutes in silence then I figure out that I want the special burrito; beans, and cheese with rice, and their special sauce but I’ll have to make sure to ask her to leave off the avocado. I put my menu down and look up. We choose our orders at the same time and he looks up from his menu too.
My stomach growls and I blush and laugh a little. “I am hungry. I probably should have eaten a snack before this. Don’t judge me if I eat everything on my plate.” He holds his hands up in surrender.
“Hey, I would never judge you for eating. I know you can take me.” He adds at the last minute and I laugh then flex my muscles before poking them and shrugging. “Okay, maybe not.”
“Hey!” I tease and whack him with my napkin. He laughs and easily dodges it. The waitress comes back to the table with our drinks then we place our orders, handing the menus back to her. When she leaves, the silence returns. I tuck my legs under me and unwrap my silverware, putting my napkin in my lap to busy myself.
“So, how is your band? Have y’all gotten any gigs recently?” I ask about the band only because I know it’s something he can talk for hours about. As soon as I mention it, I cringe, thinking back to the party at Kurt’s apartment and the way Callum used his music to hurt me. My posture shrinks a little but Callum doesn’t seem to notice as he begins his long lengthy one-sided discussion about his band. I try to listen to be polite but my heart clenches and my eyes sting with tears threatening to spill over. I had almost forgotten about the terrible thing he had done to me in front of all of Kurt’s co-workers and neighbors.
I lean back against the chair and try to erase that from my memory, deciding not to let it ruin the night that so far has been pretty nice. I nod along and make little comments here and there to keep the conversation flowing and am grateful when our food finally arrives. I dig into my food, my stomach thanking me immensely. I pause to take a sip of my drink and realize he is still going on about his band. Some of their gigs seem impressive and I tell him so, this boosts his confidence. Not like he needed it though.
I start slowing down after a few minutes, my stomach beginning to get full and I decide to stop and take the rest of the burrito home with me. It was really good and I don’t want to waste it. I take a step back from the burrito but reach for a chip to dip in the salsa. I munch away on my chip, listening to Callum go on and on. I polish off half the bowl of chips and Callum hasn’t said anything judgmental about my eating so I keep eating.
“So, how have you been? Trouble in paradise, I assume, if y’all aren’t together anymore,” Callum says, finally talking about something other than his band and himself. Unfortunately, this is another topic I don’t want to discuss. I sigh and bite into another chip taking my time to chew and swallow then taking a sip of my drink before responding.
“Things were just moving a little too fast. For both of us.” I say and leave it at that, he nods, seeming to understand.
We make small talk while we finish our drinks and then the check comes.
“Oh, I can pay for myself.” I offer but he shakes his head and smiles at me.
“No, no. Then it wouldn’t be a date.” He pulls out his wallet putting some cash on the table then we stand up together and exit the restaurant. He wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me against him. I lean into him, the night air had grown cold while we were eating. I shiver slightly and rub at my goose bump-covered arms. “Are you cold?” He asks before releasing me and quickly shrugging off his jacket and draping it over my shoulders. “Better?”
“Yes, thank you. You didn’t have to do that…” I say softly but I know he did. If he hadn’t then Tatyana would have been right and I would have to walk away. He shrugs, kissing my forehead and pulling me back against him as I slip my arms into his jacket, the cuffs of the jacket dipping below my fingertips. I ball the extra material up and clench it in my fists, letting him hold me close.
We walk back to my apartment in silence and I can feel every breath he takes. It catches every so often and I know he wants to say something but I am enjoying the silence and am grateful when he doesn’t say anything. When we reach my building, he lets go of me and opens the door. I thank him and then make my way inside. He follows behind me into the cramped lobby, I stop by the staircase.
“Thank you for walking me back,” I say, trying to make it clear that this is as far as he goes. He takes a step back nodding, looking a tad disappointed. I smile at my new stance in this relationship. He isn’t in charge of me anymore. “I had a nice time tonight.”
“Me too,” he says and grins at me. I smile back. “We should do this again sometime.” I nod.
“I’d like that,” I tell him honestly. “Oh, before I forget,” I say as I take his jacket off. “Here you go. Thank you for letting me borrow it.”
“Not a problem,” Callum says a little reluctantly as he takes the jacket back. He leans in and kisses my cheek. “I’ll call you tomorrow?” He looks at me for my permission and I smile and nod again. “Goodnight, Juli.”
I wait for him to leave the building before I make my way up the stairs quickly. I burst into the apartment breathing heavily from the many flights up. Tatyana looks up from the couch surprised at my sudden entrance. She turns off the TV as I toss my keys and purse on the table by the door.
“Well? How’d it go?” She asks, tucking her legs under her and wrapping her arms around a pillow, watching me intently.
I take a second to catch my breath and smile at her sweetly before taking my time to take my shoes off. She throws a giant old t-shirt at me and I give her a look of gratitude before unbuttoning my pants and stripping down my stomach finally able to breathe after a night of tight pants. I put the shirt on and plop on the couch, pulling a blanket over my lap. “Okay, you’ve changed into something more comfortable, you can breathe. Now, tell me!” She throws the pillow she was holding at me and I laugh.
“Okay, okay,” I say through my laughter and her protests before I calm down and begin to tell her all the details of the night.