3. Mia
CHAPTER 3
MIA
" N ope, not going to think about how I got here," I announce to a nearby tree.
That way lies madness. Or at least a massive headache.
Yes, figuring out where we are feels a little safer.
I scan the forest around me, my eyes searching for any sign of my furry friends – or the source of that howl. Turning back from where I came from, I realize I am not totally sure which way to go. I remember a big stone near the entrance, but it’s nowhere in sight. Beyond that, the temple, or whatever it was had looked like little more than an overgrown swell in the forest floor anyhow.
Weird...
The mountains in the distance look familiar – almost like the ones I see from my coffee shop window every morning, but ... i don't know... it's hard to tell, and that still doesn’t explain how I got here.
Where ever here is...
My mind is starting to spin up again. It goes first to the temple – we'll just call it a temple for now – and those strange drawings – and the mini bigfoots!
Maybe I slipped into an alternate reality! Or maybe my little phase experimenting with acid has finally caught up with me...
I keep trudging forward, gingerly removing the occasional briar from my path.
A sundress is not ideal here.
Shit...
Suddenly I realize it’s no longer a few briars. They’re practically everywhere. I’m kind of surrounded.
Wonderful...
"No problem," I mutter, trying to carefully extract myself. "Just need to..." But every movement seems to catch me even worse. My scarves twist around thorny vines, my dress snags on what feels like a hundred tiny hooks. I try backing up, which only entangles me further. A step to the left has me stumbling into another patch.
"Seriously?" I try to free my right arm and somehow manage to trap my left one even worse.
This must be some sort of trap the bigfoots set for me.
Of course! I’ve discovered their secret!
Those baby bigfoots probably herded me into this...
"Those adorable little tricksters," I mutter, yanking harder at my thorny prison. And here I thought we had a real peek-a-boo connection going.
Every twist just makes it worse - now my favorite scarf is hopelessly wrapped around what feels like fifty thorny branches, and my dress... I feel a familiar heat rising...
Okay, don't panic.
Which naturally leads to immediate panicking.
Mia, you can handle this.
This is no different than that time you got tangled in the aerial silk ribbons at that circus skills workshop.
Except that the instructor had to free me.
And there weren’t even any thorns.
Or angry bigfoot parents probably on their way to squash me...
Right on cue, I feel it...
The ground trembles. Actually trembles.
I freeze mid-struggle, my heart going a mile a minute in my chest.
This must be what those little mice feel like when Mary Poppins corners them.
Heavy footsteps approach through the forest, each one making my teeth practically rattle.
"Please be a bear," I whisper, barely audible.
Jeezus... the trees are actually swaying as whatever it is makes its way toward me!
Be a nice fuzzy bear... A nice, normal, non-mythological bear. Not an angry sasquatch daddy... or mommy for that matter!
The branches part, and I squeeze my eyes shut.
Maybe if I can't see the angry sasquatch parent, they can't see me...
An exasperated sigh reaches my ears. Not exactly the growl of rage I was expecting.
I crack one eye open and... oh. OH. Holy. Freaking. Wow.
That’s a bigfoot alright.
He's massive - probably eight feet of pure muscle covered in dark fur. But it's his eyes that catch me – a striking blue, and startlingly intelligent. When they meet mine, something electric shoots through my entire body, momentarily making me forget I'm supposed to be terrified.
God... his eyes...
I can’t pull myself away from them...
"Wonderful. I should have known. Another human." His voice is deep, rich... and decidedly unamused.
"Oh my God. You talk!" I blurt out, before I can stop myself...
Which, let’s face it, is not an infrequent occurrence for me.
Rather than respond he just shakes his massive head.
“Humans...”
“What’s that supposed to-?”
Again... my mouth is moving before I have a chance to think about what I’m saying...
“You know what, you’re right... I can already tell you are gonna be a problem. Maybe I should just leave you there for the doom dogs to snack on?”
“The what?” I manage to stammer.
“How the hell do you creatures keep popping up anyhow?”
His words are a little scary, but he seems a little... uncertain. Or maybe conflicted . Either way, there is no mistaking the way he is looking at me...
Don’t you mean the way you’re looking at him?
Whatever.
But who knew Bigfoots were hot?
He prowls around me, apparently assessing the situation. I try not to notice how gracefully he moves for someone – or something - so huge.
Definitely a someone I decided as I catch his blue-eyed gaze for an instant before he goes back to studying my predicament.
And, oh my, look how his fur ripples over his muscles. Oh my, he's not wearing...
Focus Mia!
"Well," he finally says, "I suppose I can't leave you for the doom dogs."
"That's... generous of you?" I manage, attempting to look anywhere but at the intriguing way his fur patterns swirl down his torso.
Definitely don’t stare at that big bulge in his fur where his -
"Hold still," he orders, reaching for a thorny branch near my shoulder. "And try not to... talk so much."
Right... or think what I was thinking for that matter...
The instant his fingers brush my skin, that electric feeling zips through me again. From his sharp intake of breath, I'm pretty sure he feels it too.
"So," I say, because apparently mortal peril makes me chatty, "while you're untangling my favorite scarf from what feels like half the forest, can I see your palm?"
"What?" He pauses in his work, looking utterly baffled.
"For reading! I'm getting major Leo vibes here. All that natural big d- I mean... forceful energy..."
"I'm trying to help you," he growls, though I swear I see his lips twitch. “With all these scarves I see how the younglings were alarmed.”
"Fine, palm reading later. And alarmed? We were having fun! At least I thought we-“
“Hold still.”
Easy for him to say, It’s not my big strong hands roving over his body... or my soft gentle ones I guess it would be.”
Oh, stop it Mia.
“Don’t move.”
Yes sir. Big hairy sir.
“But I'm right about the Leo thing, aren't I? I'm a Sagittarius myself, which explains the whole getting-tangled-in-briars situation. We're not known for our impulse control."
He moves behind me to work on a particularly stubborn branch, and I have to bite my lip to keep from gasping at his proximity. His fur brushes against my bare shoulders, sending tingles down my spine.
"Um," I squeak as his hands move lower, following a thorny vine. "That one's kind of... caught on my underwear."
He freezes. I can practically feel the exasperation radiating off him. "Humans," he mutters again, but there's something else in his voice this time. Something that makes my heart race faster.
"Sorry!" I chirp. "But hey, at least I'm wearing some, right? Unlike some people here..."
Oh god, why did I say that?
His hands pause in their work. "Do you ever stop talking?"
"Not really. Especially not when I'm nervous. Or excited. Or both? Because honestly, I'm having trouble telling the difference right now. Also, you're kind of giving me a wedgie..."
He sighs that exasperated sigh again, but this time it sounds almost... fond? Maybe amused.
Don't get ahead of yourself, Mia. He still might eat you.
Though the way he's touching me, somehow both efficient and gentle, makes me think maybe getting, um... eaten by him wouldn’t be the worst thing that could happen...
Bad Mia! Very bad Mia!
"Almost done," he mutters, still maddeningly businesslike despite having his hands basically everywhere on my body. "Just this last vine..." His fingers brush dangerously close to - oh my.
Keep it together, Mia. Think unsexy thoughts.
"So," he says, apparently oblivious to my internal meltdown, "what are you doing on sasquatch lands?"
"Sasquatch lands?” Oh dear. “Well, that's the thing... That is... Is that where I am?" I try to keep my voice steady as he continues to work on a vine in what I call the danger zone.
Dangerous because of what it makes me do.
"I'm not entirely sure? One minute I was chasing Poppylicious - that's my cat - with my friend Olivia, and the next thing I know, bim-bang-boom, I woke up in that old temple over there and-"
"Did you say Olivia?" His hands freeze mid-untangle. "And what temple?"
"Yeah, Olivia! Do you know her? And, the temple's right back there somewhere..." I twist around to point, which proves to be a mistake as it brings us nose to nose. For a moment, we just stare at each other, that electric feeling crackling between us.
"There is no temple," he says, but he sounds distracted. Probably because I just accidentally pressed against his... oh my god.
"Oh no."
Oh, he felt that alright.
That now familiar zing shoots right through my danger zone now.
So much so that I almost let out a little moan.
He steps back suddenly, running a massive hand through his fur. "No, no, no. Elowen. This is her doing again..."
"Who's Elowen? And why do you look like you're having an existential crisis? Also, um, I'm still kind of stuck here..."
A chorus of giggles interrupts whatever he was about to say. The little ones from earlier peek out from behind the trees, drawn by our voices.
"Stay back!" he barks at the children, trying to wave them away with one hand while still working on the last bramble. "She is not safe!"
“Not safe? What are you talking about?”
“You with your words. Do they ever cease?”
"Oh hush, you’re like ten times my size, how on earth am I ‘not safe?”
I turn my attention back to the Bigfootlings and begin to wave with my free arm. “Hi again! Sorry about earlier - I didn't mean to scare you! I am perfectly safe! I swear! Really, I'm the one who should have been scared of you..."
"You are going to frighten them further. And this is not playtime!" he growls, but the kids are already creeping closer, chittering excitedly.
"They are hardly frightened... definitely not by me! Everything doesn't have to be so serious ya know," I tell him, pulling a silly face that makes the children laugh. "Sometimes you just have to- eep!"
The last sound escapes as he finally frees me from the briars, perhaps a bit more forcefully than necessary. I stumble forward, right into his broad, fur-covered chest.
Oh hello.
"Now," he says, steadying me but quickly stepping back, "we need to establish some ground rules-"
But I'm already dancing away from him, resuming the game of peek-a-boo with the little ones. Their delighted squeals seem to physically pain him.
"This is exactly what I'm talking about! Now I understand the allure of a leash...”
"Tag, you're it!" I tap one of the kids gently on the shoulder, sending them all scampering with joy – if not a little bit of confusion I realize as well.
The look he gives me could curdle milk. But there's something else there too - a spark of... interest?
Oh, this is definitely going to be fun.
"Humans," he mutters for a third time, but this time it sounds almost like a prayer.