Chapter 2
Conor
“Let me guess,” Jess says from across the table, leaning back in her chair with a grin. “You’re not coming to the club tonight because you’ve got something else to do. Something you still won’t tell any of us what it is.”
The table is covered in food, half-empty beer bottles, and the kind of easy conversation that’s mostly carried by Jess, Xavier, and Colton. I stab my fork into my food and don’t look up.
“It’s none of your business,” I say dryly.
Jess lets out an offended sound, but before she can say anything else, I catch the look Ronan throws me. It’s quick. Too quick for anyone who doesn’t know him to notice. Unfortunately, Colton notices everything.
“You know something,” Colton says, turning toward Ronan immediately.
Fuck me.
Ronan’s face goes blank in that way that he thinks hides everything, but I know better.
I’m pretty sure he knows more than I think he does, and if Colton keeps pushing, he’s going to crack.
Because Ronan folds for Colton every single time.
Doesn’t matter what it is. Doesn’t matter how stubborn he was two seconds before.
Colton looks at him, and suddenly the man forgets how to say no.
I have to give Ronan credit, though. He doesn’t answer right away.
Instead, he turns his attention to Ollie sitting in his highchair beside him.
Their eighteen-month-old son is happily making a mess out of everything on his tray while Ronan points at the vegetables with the same serious expression he uses when he’s threatening people.
“Eat the green ones too,” Ronan mutters.
Colton narrows his eyes.
“Ronan,” he prods.
Ronan sighs through his nose, still refusing to look at him.
“It’s not my story to tell.”
He points toward the smashed-up vegetables again, clearly trying to use Ollie as a distraction.
There’s no chance in hell Ronan is actually going to touch the mushy food himself, but he’s still watching like a hawk to make sure Ollie eats enough.
Honestly, out of everyone in this family, Ronan is the last person I ever would’ve expected to become a parent.
Not only become one, but actually be good at it.
But he is. He’s protective in a way that borders on scary sometimes, especially when it comes to Ollie.
Lord help anyone who ever hurts that kid. Or Colton, for that matter.
“I don’t understand why it’s such a big secret. Are you secretly dating someone?” Xavier’s eyes go wide. “Oh, are they a celebrity and you need to keep it on the DL?”
“Can someone explain to me again why we’re doing these Friday night dinners?” I ask, looking around the table. “Isn’t it enough that we see each other at the office and then again on Sundays with Mom and Dad?”
Ever since Xavier and Declan got married, we’ve been doing dinner every week without Mom, Dad and Uncle Duncan.
Jess rolls her eyes. “Because contrary to what you believe, some of us actually like each other.”
I ignore her.
“I already explained it to you,” Xavier says. “These dinners are for us, Jess, and Blake. It’s the grown-up version of the kids’ table.”
“The kids’ table is torture,” I mutter.
Xavier smirks, but I know the real reason we do this. Declan sat all of us down and explained it. Neither Xavier nor Colton really had a family growing up. Xavier lost his sister. Colton’s parents were awful people, so he and Ronan are raising Colton’s younger brother themselves.
Declan told us that the two of them wanted this.
Not just dinners, but actual relationships with all of us.
Something solid, something that felt like family instead of people who only saw each other out of obligation.
We all agreed. But I don’t think any of us really understand it.
Not the way Xavier and Colton do. Because when you grow up with family, even if they drive you insane, you don’t realize what it would feel like to not have them.
“Speaking of Blake,” I look around the table, mock gasping, “yet another dinner he isn’t attending. I’m starting to suspect that he doesn’t like any of you. Or maybe it’s the fact that Liam can’t stop hitting on him.” I’m hoping this redirects the conversation.
“I don’t flirt with him. Something’s going on with him, and I want to know what it is,” Liam says around another bite of steak.
“You do,” Jess says immediately, “and it’s creepy as fuck.”
Liam flips her off without even looking up from his plate. Jess shakes her head dramatically.
“Honestly, I don’t understand how any of you manage to have relationships. But that’s a different conversation.”
Then she turns all of her attention back to me, “We were talking about Conor.”
I groan. “You know, I regret agreeing to your friendship proposal.”
Jess grins like she takes that as a compliment. She’s a damn firecracker. Loud, nosy, and impossible to ignore. After hanging out with her a few times, she somehow turned into one of those irritating barnacles that latch on and refuse to let go. No matter how much you try to pry them off.
I don’t mind Jess… most of the time. She’s funny, and so damn protective of the people she cares about that it borders on violent.
She calls all of us her found family, and somehow she means it.
Which is insane, considering the group she’s attached herself to.
A bunch of psychopaths, control freaks, and men with enough issues to fill a therapist’s entire career.
And their mates are somehow even worse. Still, Jess fits.
Like she was made for this chaos, like she looked at all of us, saw every damaged, violent, fucked-up piece, and decided to stay anyway.
Right now is not one of those times. Jess needs to stop digging.
Because there is no way in hell I’m telling this group that I’ve become completely fixated on a man I’ve never actually spoken to.
I track him whenever I can. When I can’t do it myself, I have one of our security guys keep an eye on him for me.
It would only lead to more questions. Questions I can’t answer because I still don’t understand it myself. I have no clue why I can’t let it go. Every time I tell myself to stop, it only gets worse.
It’s been months now. Months of watching him from a distance.
Months of making excuses to know where he is, if he’s okay, if he made it home alive.
I know it’s fucked up. I know it crosses lines that shouldn’t be crossed.
But I can’t seem to stop. And that scares me more than anything else, because it stopped feeling like curiosity a long time ago. Now he’s become my total fixation.
“You don’t regret it. That’s a lie. And lies make baby Jesus cry. So knock it off. Keep your little secret if you must.” Jess says it like she knows exactly how far to push and when to stop. Annoying as hell.
“Jesus would be over two thousand years old if the timeline is to be believed,” Ronan cuts in, completely serious, “so he’s not a baby.”
The table goes quiet for a beat. Then Colton loses it. A full, unrestrained laugh that has him leaning back in his chair, hand dragging down his face.
“Babe,” he manages, still laughing, “it’s just an idiom.”
“Well, it’s stupid then,” Ronan says without missing a beat, already reaching for Ollie’s cup to refill it like he didn’t just derail the entire conversation.
Ollie bangs his hand on the tray, completely oblivious, while the rest of us try and fail not to react.
Jess snorts. Xavier shakes his head. And I sit there, letting the noise wash over me, grateful for the distraction.
Because for the first time tonight, the focus is taken off me.
I check my watch for what feels like the hundredth time. I still have an hour left of this nonsense before it’s time to leave. The fights start in two hours, and I don’t plan on missing a minute of them.