Chapter 25
Conor
I stay awake long after Jaxon falls asleep, listening to the slow rhythm of his breathing and the occasional soft exhale against my chest. Having him here feels dangerously right.
Natural. Like I’ve been waiting for him without even realizing it.
And now that I have him in my arms, I don’t want to let him go.
Mom’s words from earlier keep replaying in my head.
“He’s fragile, Conor. Not physically.” She’d rested her hand on my arm, her expression softer than her warning. “He needs someone to take care of him. What he doesn’t need is for you to go full Murphy caveman on him.”
“I know,” I’d said.
Her eyes narrowed just slightly.
“Do you?” Mom asks softly, though there’s nothing teasing in it. She squeezes my arm gently. “Out of all my boys, you’re probably the one most capable of understanding what I’m trying to tell you.”
I stay quiet, letting her continue.
“Don’t push him before he’s ready. Let him open up at his own pace.” A small smile touches her lips. “He’s already beginning to trust you. That’s not a small thing for someone like Jaxon.”
Her expression turns serious again.
“He’s had a hard life, Conor. If you want something real with him, you’re going to have to be patient.” She pauses. “More patient than you’ve ever been before.”
I tighten my hold on Jaxon just slightly, my hand spreading across his back while he sleeps against me. Patience has never been my strong suit. Instinct tells me to claim, protect, and eliminate threats. But for Jaxon, I’ll learn restraint. I’ll become whatever he needs me to be.
For months, I told myself my fixation on him didn’t make sense. That it was just curiosity. Attraction. Obsession. But now that I finally have him here with me, now that I’ve seen the parts of him no one else seems to notice… I understand.
He’s mine. Plain and simple. The need to take care of him sits so deep inside me it feels instinctual now. Not because he’s weak. Not because he needs saving. Just because I want to. I close my eyes and eventually let sleep pull me under.
A soft sound drags me awake sometime later. A quiet moan. Then a slow, gentle rocking against my hip. I blink sleep from my eyes and look down at Jaxon curled against me. His eyes are still closed, lips parted slightly as another soft breath leaves him.
He shifts again, grinding unconsciously against my hip. The hard outline of his cock presses against me with every slow movement.
Jealousy slams into me hard and fast. Is he dreaming about Trent? About the man he loved before everything went to hell? The idea of Jaxon wanting someone else—even in his sleep—makes something possessive and vicious rise up inside me.
I’m already shifting to wake him when I finally hear the soft sound against my chest. Quiet, half asleep, barely more than a breath.
“Conor.”
Heat floods through me instantly. My own cock reacts hard to the deep, needy moan that leaves Jaxon’s throat as his hips roll against mine again.
I tighten my hold on him reflexively, pulling him closer for one dangerous second before forcing myself to slow down. Lowering my mouth to the top of his head, I press a gentle kiss there and murmur his name.
“Jaxon, wake up for me.”
I slide a hand to his hip, stilling the slow movement before it can go any further. That seems to pull him from sleep. His eyes blink open heavily, confusion flickering across his face before realization starts to settle in. He immediately tries to pull away.
I don’t let him get far. Not trapping him. Just keeping him close. Because the truth is… I would’ve let him take whatever comfort he needed from me. But none of that matters if he isn’t fully awake. I want him aware of every touch, every choice, every second of this. I want him choosing me.
“Oh God, I’m sorry,” Jaxon whispers, embarrassment flooding his face as he tries to retreat.
“Hey.” I cup his jaw gently, guiding his attention back to me before he can disappear into his own head. “Don’t apologize.” My thumb brushes across his skin slowly. “I was enjoying it too.”
His breath catches softly. For a second, he hesitates like he isn’t sure he should look at me. Then those warm brown eyes finally lift to mine.
“Tell me what you want, Jaxon.” I press a kiss to his forehead, fighting the urge for more while trying to make sure he’s really here with me. Really choosing this.
His breathing turns uneven as he slowly shakes his head, his gaze dropping again like the words are too hard to say out loud.
“Hey.” I brush my thumb across his jaw, patient. “Say the words, and whatever it is…” I lower my forehead to his, “…it’s yours.”
He hesitates for a long moment. Then, so softly I almost don’t hear it—
“You.”
Need surges through me so hard it almost overrides everything else. But I force myself to stay still for one more second. Long enough for him to change his mind. Long enough to make sure this is really what he wants.
When he doesn’t pull away, I carefully roll him onto his back and brace myself above him, making sure not to put pressure on any of his healing injuries.
“You can have me,” I murmur softly before lowering my mouth to his.
The kiss starts slow. Gentle. An offering instead of a demand. It only takes a second before Jaxon melts into it, his lips parting beneath mine with a quiet sound that sends heat rushing through me all over again.
I leave his mouth slowly, trailing kisses along the sharp line of his jaw and down the side of his neck.
When I reach the strong pulse there, I can’t stop myself from giving a light nip. Jaxon shivers beneath me. Careful of the bruising still staining his skin, I soothe the spot with another soft kiss before reaching down to pull his shirt over his head.
The sight of him steals my breath for a second. His dark olive skin is marked with scars—old wounds layered across powerful muscle like a roadmap of everything he’s survived.
When he settles back against the mattress, I follow the marks with my lips slowly, tracing each one with the tip of my tongue before pressing a kiss there afterward.
I feel his hand touch my shoulder hesitantly, almost like he’s unsure if he’s really allowed to. The small contact sends a sharp rush of heat through me. I want more. Not just tentative touches. I want him to touch me like he means it.
“Touch me, Jaxon,” I murmur between kisses. My lips move slowly across his skin while I wait for him to decide. It’s like something inside him finally snaps loose.
His hands move over my shoulders and down my arms with sudden confidence, gripping hard enough to make heat flare through me. A rough sound catches in my throat when his blunt nails drag across my back. The sensation sends a sharp shiver through me.
My mouth trails lower across his chest until I reach one of his nipples, already tightened beneath my attention.
I tease it slowly with my tongue before grazing it lightly with my teeth.
Jaxon’s body reacts instantly. His back arches off the mattress, a deep, breathless moan spilling from him that sends heat rushing straight through me.
The sound nearly undoes me. I want more of it.
Want to hear every breath, every moan, every quiet sound he tries to hold back. I want to know exactly how I’m making him feel. The thought alone sends another rush of heat through me. Carefully, I lift my head just enough to look at him.
His cheeks are flushed, his chest rising harder now, those warm brown eyes darkened with want as they stay locked on me. Beautiful. Absolutely fucking beautiful. More beautiful than I deserve.
The realization settles somewhere deep in my chest, beneath all the heat and possessive need clawing through me. But I’m selfish enough not to care. Because right now, with Jaxon beneath me, looking at me like that… He’s mine.
After giving the same careful attention to the other side, I let my mouth drift lower.
Slowly. My lips and tongue trace the hard lines of his stomach, following every dip and plane like I’m trying to memorize him.
Jaxon’s muscles tense beneath my touch, his breathing turning uneven as my hands slide over his sides to steady him.
The sharp V of his hips draws my attention immediately, the definition there enough to make heat curl low in my stomach again. God, everything about him is beautiful.
I pull back, watching his face as I hook my thumb into the waistband of his boxers.
“Is this okay?” I ask softly, forcing the words out even though asking doesn’t come naturally to me. Not for this.
Sex has always been simple in my world. A transaction.
An understood exchange where everyone takes what they need and leaves the rest behind.
But this… This feels different in every possible way.
I don’t just want his permission. I want his willingness.
His trust. I want him to choose this as much as I am.
“Yes,” he whispers, never once breaking eye contact with me.
The rawness in his gaze hits me harder than anything else tonight.
Need. Trust. Vulnerability. All of it laid bare for me to see.
And deep in my chest, something possessive and painfully tender twists tight.
Because I want to be the one who gives him everything he’s searching for.
The one who fills every empty space life carved into him.
I hook my fingers into the waistband of his boxers and slowly slide them down his hips. Jaxon lifts slightly to help me, his breathing uneven as the fabric disappears from his skin. The sight of him hits me hard. Wanting. Open. His body tense beneath mine with anticipation and trust.
Heat surges through me so intensely it takes effort to stay in control. Carefully, I drag my gaze back up to his face, wanting to see every reaction, every flicker of emotion as I touch him. God, I’ve never wanted anyone like this before.
I let my palm glide over his cock slowly, earning another soft, broken sound from Jaxon that sends heat rushing straight through me. Every reaction he gives me only makes me want more. Want him closer. Want him falling apart beneath my touch.
I wrap my hand around his length carefully, keeping the pace slow while I watch his face instead of what my hand is doing. His lashes flutter, his lips parting around another breathless moan as his body responds so openly to every touch.
God, he’s responsive. Beautifully so.
I shift lower between his thighs, guiding them apart carefully so I can settle more fully between them without putting pressure on his healing body. The new position pulls another quiet sound from him, one that nearly snaps the last thread of my control.
I press a slow kiss to the inside of his thigh, earning a sharp inhale from above me before I graze the spot lightly with my teeth. Jaxon’s legs tense around me instantly.
Carefully, I soothe the sting with another softer kiss before letting myself linger there for a second longer, breathing him in.
The scent of his skin, the warmth of him, the quiet sounds falling from his lips…
it all goes straight to my head. I force myself to stay patient because I want to savor every second of this.
I run my tongue up the length of him. Savoring the taste of his precum as I reach his tip. I lap at it like a man who has been starving his whole life. A shaky moan leaves Jaxon as his fingers slide into my hair, threading through the strands before tightening slightly.
I close my eyes for a second, letting myself enjoy the feel of his hands on me, the soft sounds he keeps making, the way his body responds so openly to my touch.
I take him into my mouth. Swirling my tongue around his head before swallowing down around him. His cock is large, thick, and long and it takes me a couple of tries to take all of him.
“Conor. Oh God, Conor, don’t stop,” Jaxon begs. Saying my name over and over. When I take him to the back of my throat, he’s a writhing mess beneath me. Hollowing out my cheeks, I tug and pull every sound from him.
I cup his heavy balls with my free hand and give them a gentle squeeze and pull. Jaxon’s body goes rigid, and his back arches.
Jaxon’s hand tightens sharply in my hair, almost painful in its intensity, while a broken sound tears from his throat above me. The possessive edge to it sends heat rushing through me all over again.
I lift my eyes to him, wanting to see every second of this. His chest is rising hard now, his head tipped back against the pillows while he fights for breath.
He comes completely undone as he comes down my throat. I swallow it down greedily, licking him clean. I move up his body, placing soft kisses on my way. His breathing is still coming in rapid pants. I kiss him harder than I have before. Wanting him to know that he belongs to me.