Chapter 42 #2
“What went through my head was making sure you weren’t hurt.” The answer comes without hesitation. Without thought, as though the reason had been obvious. “As well as covering Duncan as best I could.” He glances toward the front seat before looking back at me. “That’s it.”
“I told you I would protect you. Take care of you.”
“And you have.” The answer comes immediately. “I no longer have a debt hanging over my head. I no longer have to worry about stepping into that cage ever again.” His voice is tight.
“You put yourself—”
Jaxon’s hand comes up between us. Stopping the words.
“How about we sit here and not say another fucking word.” The order catches me completely off guard. “I don’t want to hear it, Conor.” His eyes lock onto mine. Angry. Actually angry. I can’t remember the last time someone was angry at me for being concerned about their safety.
“I did what I did, and I’d do it again.” The statement lands like a punch. “So you can be mad all you want about it. But do it in your head so I don’t have to listen to it.”
The vehicle falls silent. I stare at him, waiting for him to look back at me. He doesn’t. Fine. If that’s how he wants to play this. The knot in my stomach tightens even more. Because this conversation isn’t over. Not even close. The second we get home, we’re going to finish it. One way or another.
I have to stifle a groan when we pull up to the house. Every vehicle is already here, including Mom’s. Of course, postmortem on the operation. Discussion of what went right. What went wrong. What to improve next time. Normally I’d welcome it. Tonight, I don’t have the patience.
Everything went according to plan. Well… Almost. One significant variable decided to improvise. The image flashes through my mind again. Jaxon throwing me to the floor. Covering my body with his. My jaw tightens. That was not part of the plan.
Beside me, Jaxon slams the SUV door hard enough to rattle the windows.
Good. Let him be angry, because so am I.
I shut my own door with considerably more force than necessary.
Duncan glances back at me, one eyebrow raised.
I shake my head once. He heard every word in the car, so no explanation should be required.
The moment we step inside, Mom looks up from where she’s standing. “Good, everyone’s here.”
The smile on her face falters the instant she sees me.
I don’t stop, don’t acknowledge the room.
My attention locks onto Jaxon. He’s sitting rigidly in one of the oversized chairs.
Hands clasped together. Jaw muscles visibly flexing.
I close the distance between us. Stopping directly in front of him.
“We need to talk.” The words come out harder than I intended. “Now.”
Silence settles over the room. Everyone waiting to see what happens next. I don’t care. The operation is over. Manny is no longer a threat. The only thing that matters now is the man sitting in front of me. And making damn sure he never throws himself in front of another bullet again.
Jaxon rises from the chair. The movement is smooth and deliberate.
I have exactly two options. Stand my ground and let him force me backward.
Or take the step myself. I choose the step.
Very few people can make me give ground.
Either way, we’re suddenly standing nose to nose. Neither of us is willing to look away.
“You want to do this now?” His voice is low. Far calmer than mine. “Right here in front of everyone?” He glances briefly around the room before looking back at me. “Fine.” His jaw tightens. “Your choice.”
Jaxon grips my shoulder and turns me toward my family. The movement isn’t forceful, but it’s decisive. I let him do it. A minute ago, he wanted the conversation to end. Now he’s taking control of it.
“You want to know why I did what I did, Conor?” His voice carries through the room. Jaxon sweeps a hand toward everyone gathered in the living room. “Well, take a good look.”
“Look at them.” Jaxon takes a slow breath.
His hand falls back to his side. “Your family.” The words hang in the air.
I don’t understand. I glance back at him.
His eyes remain fixed on the room. As though he’s trying to make me see something that’s been standing in front of me all along. The silence stretches.
“You have someone waiting for you to come home.” Jaxon’s voice is quieter now. The anger that burned so brightly a moment ago is gone. “You have people who love you.” His gaze sweeps across the room. “To care whether you walk through that door.”
He lets out a slow breath. The fight leaves his shoulders. When he looks back at me, his eyes shine.
“Did you really expect me to let you give all that up?” The question hangs between us. “Conor…” My name catches in his throat. “You have something precious in your life.”
His eyes flick toward Mom. Then back to me.
“Hell…” A humorless laugh escapes him. “You’re precious.”
He swallows hard. For a second, I think he’s finished. Then he keeps going.
“No one is waiting for me.” The words are so quiet I almost don’t hear them. “No one would have noticed if I didn’t come home.”
A muscle in my jaw jumps. The room remains perfectly still.
“So yeah.” He shrugs once, the movement small. “I made sure you were covered. Because losing me might hurt you for a while.” Another swallow. “But losing you…” His voice breaks. “…would destroy all of them.”
The knot in my chest is twisting tighter. Because somewhere in the back of my mind, I know he’s wrong. I just don’t have the words to explain why.
“Everyone out. Now.” Mom’s voice cuts through the silence.
She’s not loud or angry. Just absolute. No one hesitates.
Years of conditioning take over. Chairs scrape across the hardwood floor.
Even Liam, who looks like he wants to say something, wisely keeps his mouth shut.
An entire room full of men who command companies, negotiate billion-dollar deals, and stare down mob bosses without blinking with one sentence from Mom, they scatter.
“We’ll walk through things later.” She looks briefly toward all of them. “Goodnight, everyone.”
The room empties with surprising speed. Within seconds, the front door opens and closes several times. The sound of engines starting drifts through the windows. Then silence returns. I remain where I am, with Jaxon standing only a step away.
Mom is still here. I register that fact distantly.
My attention remains fixed on Jaxon. On the words he just spoke.
No one is waiting for me. The sentence keeps replaying in my head.
Over and over. Like a splinter I can’t reach.
Because somewhere deep down, I know he’s wrong.
I just don’t know how to convince him of it.