Chapter 22 #2
“I said that I had to use the restroom.” He stroked my cheek. “Should we just tell them?”
My jaw dropped. “Are you serious? How do you think that would go over?”
“Well, your father would probably kill me, so I’m guessing not very well.”
“Right. You and me together,” I said, motioning between us.
“It would have to be a forever thing to ever be okay for them. They would never understand our temporary arrangement. They’re old-school.
They’d freak out and assume that I wouldn’t be going to New York.
It would be a whole thing. They would analyze it to death, and all of our extended family would get involved. ”
Did I even understand our temporary agreement anymore?
Here I was feeling an overwhelming sense of jealousy about them setting Cutler up with another woman. I doubted this was a normal feeling for a casual fling.
What the hell was I doing?
“Hey, don’t spiral, Jeege,” he said, as if he could read my thoughts.
His voice had a way of settling me. Calming me.
“You’re right. They wouldn’t understand the situation.
I’ll just have to play along tomorrow night.
It’s not like I’d be open to being set up even if you and I weren’t doing whatever the fuck it is we’re doing. ”
Because what the fuck are we doing?
I raised a brow defensively. I needed to pull it together. Stick to the plan. “We’re having fun. Maybe not at the moment. But this morning we were.”
He leaned down, grazing his lips over mine. “I can still feel the way your pussy tightened around me when you came on my cock.”
“Cutler!” I gasped, trying my best to keep my voice low. “Do not start with the dirty talk when we have both sets of parents on the other side of the door.”
He chuckled. “Okay. I’ll let you go out first.”
I pushed up on my tiptoes and kissed him hard and then groaned when I pulled away. When I got to the door, I turned around before opening it.
“Hey, Bear,” I whispered.
“Yeah?”
“If you like her tomorrow night, I don’t want you to feel bad.
She’s moving here, and I’m leaving. She’s probably going to be great.
I mean, at some point in your life you might want to have an actual relationship, and she might be the one to knock you on your ass.
” I reached for the door handle, a pain hitting my chest as the words left my mouth.
“Don’t do that, Jeege. I’m not thinking about when you leave,” he said, his gaze tender. “I’m thinking about our time together right now. Let’s stay right here, okay?”
A lump formed in my throat, and I pushed it away before nodding. “Yeah. Okay. I’ll see you out there.”
I pulled the door open and walked out, grabbing my beer bottle off the counter before I stepped outside.
Loud laughter mixed with the sound of the trees rustling above, and the water slapping against the shore filled the air around us.
It was so peaceful here. I loved it.
“Come sit with us, sweetheart,” Dad said.
I dropped into the chair beside him and set my drink down on the ground. “I’m so glad you guys are here.”
I truly was so happy to see everyone. The circumstances were definitely awkward, but that was on me and Cutler. Not them.
“I think Cutler seems like he’s mellowed out. The timing might be perfect for this setup,” Mom said.
“He does seem very content and relaxed,” Emerson said. “I think it has a lot to do with Gracie being here. You’ve always grounded him in a way no one else ever has. You two really balance each other out.” She smiled as the fire crackled in front of me.
It was probably all the good sex that had him so relaxed, but I certainly couldn’t say that.
“Yeah, I’m very lucky to call Cutler my best friend.” I nodded as I watched him walk outside and drop to sit in the chair across from me.
His father started asking him questions about the boat, and everyone joined in. I just sat there watching him for a moment as all these feelings started rushing in at once.
I was absolutely jealous at the thought of him being set up with another woman.
About the thought of him with any other woman.
I liked waking up in his arms every morning, so much so that I was reluctant about leaving for New York.
I liked working with him, cooking dinner together each night, and jumping in the lake at the end of the day.
His laughter startled me from my thoughts, and I glanced over at him again, really taking him in. Cutler Heart was not only the most attractive man I’d ever laid eyes on, but he was also loyal and fearless and real. He was so much more than just my best friend. He was my person, my other half.
And that’s when it hit me.
I was madly and irrevocably in love with my best friend.
Leave it to me to fall for a man I couldn’t have. He wasn’t a relationship guy by nature, and I sure as hell was not in a place to be looking for a relationship.
It was the last thing I needed.
And trying to make this more than it was supposed to be was a terrible idea. There was too much to risk.
I couldn’t exist in a world where Cutler Heart wasn’t at the center of it.
Loving him scared the hell out of me.
But losing him—that would be the worst thing that could ever happen to me.