Chapter 36
thirty-six
. . .
Gracie
Johnny and I were having dinner tonight to celebrate the completion of the Dumont project. The reveal was today, and they absolutely loved it. The project had been a huge stretch for me creatively, because I’d been so out of my normal comfort zone. And I’d fully enjoyed it.
I’d wrapped up two other smaller projects over the last two weeks, and I had one large loft in Brooklyn that was getting close to the finishing stages.
I’d been living in New York City for almost five months. My lease would be up next month with the extension they’d given me, and it was time to make a decision. Cutler and I talked about it daily, and he was on board to do whatever I wanted.
And I’d really thought long and hard on it, and I felt like I should speak to Johnny before I flew to Blue Sky Bay to spend Valentine’s Day with Cutler.
“You leave tomorrow, right? You’ll be home with your handsome Bear.” He chuckled.
“Yes.” I nodded as our server set down our two martinis and a basket of warm bread. We were dining at the restaurant downstairs in my building. I loved this place, which was the first restaurant I’d eaten at after moving here. “I’m excited to see him.”
“I’ll bet you are. And he was just here two weeks ago.” He sighed. “The distance must be getting old. And I know your lease is up next month, so tell me what you’re thinking.”
“Well, you know that Cutler’s been getting things aligned to apply for his license here in New York City, and we’ve been looking at apartments to purchase, and considering all of our options.
” I’d found a booklet he’d been studying, and he’d admitted that he’d started the licensing process, since he knew it would take some time.
“I love that he’s willing to uproot his life for you, darling. That man really loves you.” He reached for his drink and took a sip, popping his lips when he set the glass back down to show his approval.
“He does. And I love him just as much.” I blew out a breath. “I’ve really put a lot of thought into this. I’m actually talking to you about it first, and I’ll speak to him when I go home this weekend.”
He smiled, folding his hands together and resting them on the edge of the table. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“First and foremost, I could never thank you enough for the opportunity to work for you. Having you as my mentor has been a dream come true. Honestly, I have the most respect and admiration for you, Johnny.”
He reached across the table and took my hands in his. “The feeling is mutual, darling. And I have a feeling our time together is coming to an end.”
Our server approached and set down our salads, and Johnny pulled his hands back as we reached for our utensils.
“So, I haven’t spoken to Cutler yet, because I’ve gone back and forth many times about what I wanted to do. But last night I just had clarity, and everything just seemed to be crystal clear.”
“That’s what I was hoping would happen. I didn’t want you to second-guess your decision,” he said as he popped a cherry tomato in his mouth.
“Same. But what I realized is that I needed this time here, to learn and to grow and to get my confidence back. And New York City did not disappoint.” I shook my head and smiled.
“This experience will stay with me for a lifetime. And this has definitely been a step in the direction I want to go in. It just isn’t the final step. ”
“I’m truly honored that I got to be part of the journey.”
“You were such a big part of the journey, and I love this company and all the people I’ve worked with so much.
But I’m ready to create something of my own, you know?
I’m ready to invest in myself. Build a company that’s mine, put a stamp on my name and my design style.
” I shrugged. “And though I love the energy here, I miss the mountains and the lake and the peaceful serenity that you find in a small town. It’s where I feel the most content, which in turn feeds my creative juices. ”
“I get that. The buzz of the city, the hustle and bustle, the tall buildings and changing seasons get my adrenaline pumping. I’d lost that when I lived in Los Angeles, as it was a different vibe there.
So I understand wanting to be in an environment that inspires you.
You’re all about nature and country music and homes with history and character.
I knew that when I hired you, and I also knew I wouldn’t be able to keep you forever. ”
A tear broke free and moved down my cheek, and I quickly swiped it away.
“I am so appreciative of everything you’ve done for me.
You hired me twice and you didn’t judge me for leaving the first time.
And then you invited me back and you let me spread my wings and try something new.
Something so far out of my comfort zone. ”
“You’ve shined like the brightest star, darling.
And here’s the truth. I have a keen gift for recognizing talent when I see it.
You have an abundance of it. If you called me in six months or a year or five years from now and you said that you wanted to come back to the firm—I wouldn’t hesitate.
But I’m also excited to watch you build something of your own, because you’re ready now.
You needed this place to land and get your footing before you really believed in your potential.
And if I have any part in fostering that, it’s my greatest honor.
I can’t wait to see what you do when you open the doors to your own business.
You’re ready.” He tilted his head to the side and smiled as our waiter cleared our salad plate and then set our steaks down in front of us.
“I feel ready. And I’ll be here to wrap everything up over the next month, but I wanted to give you plenty of notice, so you could find my replacement.”
“Darling, you’re irreplaceable, hence the reason your Bear was willing to move here for you.” He set his martini glass down after taking a sip. “You haven’t told him about your plans yet?”
“No, because I honestly wasn’t certain what I wanted to do.
I found out he’d been studying for the test that he’d need to get licensed here, and then he started sending me apartment listings in areas that we both liked.
He was completely on board to move. And we would have been happy here, I don’t doubt that.
But at the end of the day, we both love small towns.
We like to jump in the lake after dinner, or take out the boat on the weekends, or go line dancing in town.
That’s our happy place, you know? And I want to start my life with him there.
But I’m glad he respected this time that I needed to be here, and that he was willing to move here if this was where I wanted to be. ”
“You’ve got a good one, darling. Hold on tight.” He sliced a piece of steak and groaned before chewing.
“I intend to.”
And we spent the rest of the evening discussing a few of Johnny’s projects and what all I would be doing my last few weeks here in New York.
He didn’t make me feel guilty or question my reasoning. He understood it, and that meant a lot to me.
I felt very confident with the decision I’d made, and I couldn’t wait to talk to Cutler when I flew home tomorrow.
Cutler and I sat down at the table to eat dinner. I’d arrived in Blue Sky Bay an hour ago, and he’d met me at the airport with Meatball, who was now lying in front of the roaring fireplace.
“Happy Valentine’s Day, Jeege. I’m happy you’re here,” he said. “I’ve got gifts for you, but we’ll save those for after dinner.”
“I’ve got a few things up my sleeve for you too,” I said with a grin. “But I did want to talk to you about something important while we eat.”
“Okay. What’s up?”
“I know you’ve been studying for that exam and getting the process started to get your New York City contractor license.” I exhaled. “I don’t think you should do that.”
Why was I suddenly nervous?
His brows cinched together. “You don’t want me to move there with you?”
I shook my head and smiled. “I don’t.”
He nodded. “Okay. Tell me what’s going on.”
“I’m really proud of myself for going there, Bear. And I’m so grateful about the way that you encouraged me to embrace my new life there, and you supported me every step of the way. I promise you, I did embrace my new life. I went all in, and I’ve enjoyed pushing myself out of my comfort zone.”
“But you like being there by yourself,” he said, and it wasn’t a question; it was a statement. I heard the hurt in his voice, and it was obvious that I was doing a crappy job of telling him what I wanted.
I stood up and moved to where he sat across from me, and I bent down in front of him, taking his hands in mine.
“I’m not being clear. I actually hate being there without you.
But that’s not why I don’t want you to come there.
I went there, and I did what I set out to do.
I grew as a designer and a person. But I realized that I have nothing to prove to anyone anymore, nor do I have anything to prove to myself.
I’ve made some mistakes along the way, but that’s part of living. ”
He wrapped both of his large hands around mine, and I saw the confusion in his gaze, but it was surrounded by love. “It’s absolutely part of living.”
“At the end of the day, I’m just a girl in love with a boy, and I want a life filled with that love. I can build my career anywhere. And I don’t need to live somewhere just to prove that I can do it. I want to live in a place where I wake up every day with you beside me,” I said.
“I get that. And we can do that anywhere.” He searched my gaze, and all I saw was empathy and understanding.
“I don’t want to do it anywhere. I want to do it here, with the water splashing against the shore in the morning.
I want to go out on the boat and watch the sun set for the day.
I want to walk Meatball down a country road, and line dance on the weekends.
I want to start my own business right here in a town that feels like home.
A town that I can help you transform, one house at a time. I want to build a life with you here.”
His lips turned up in the corners. “We can do that, baby.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He pulled me onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me. “Are you sure?”
“I’ve thought about it a lot. And I appreciate that you were willing to give up everything you have here, everything you’ve built—all to support me.” I shook my head, the tears falling down my cheeks. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you. I don’t know how to even express how much I love you.”
He turned my body the slightest bit, placing a hand on each side of my face.
“You deserve everything, Gracie Reynolds. I knew it the first time I met you when I was just a little kid, and I’ve known it every day since.
And I understand not knowing how to express this love that we have between us, because it’s hard for me to put it into words too. ”
I sniffed a few times and nodded.
He reached for my hand and placed it over his heart.
“This belongs to you. It always has and it always will. I would follow you to the moon if that’s where you wanted to go.
And if you want to start our lives here in Blue Sky Bay, nothing would make me fucking happier.
But know this—all I need is right in front of me. You. Are. It. For. Me.”
I leaned forward and kissed him, wrapping my hands around his neck, before pulling back. “You’re it for me too, Bear.”
“So you’re really moving back here. Did you talk to Johnny?”
“I did. He understands and he supports my decision. I gave him a month’s notice, and I’ll wrap up my projects there and then move back when my lease is up.”
“New plan, huh?” he asked with a smirk.
“You know how much I love a plan.”
“This is good because you know I bought that piece of land, and I didn’t feel right building a spec home on it to flip and sell. It feels more like a forever home for my forever girl.”
“Oh, really? Do you have a designer in mind who could make it everything you want?” I asked, my voice teasing.
“I sure do. I hear she’s starting her own business here soon, and she’s a hell of a line dancer.”
I laughed and Meatball let out a loud howl, which made me laugh harder. “She sounds fabulous.”
“She really is. And she’s the love of my life.”
“Wow. Maybe she’ll give you a good discount then?” I said with a smile.
“We make a great team, Jeege.”
“We sure do.” I ran my fingers through his hair as my gaze locked with his.
He stood up, taking me with him. My legs came around his waist, and my arms wrapped around his neck. “Where are we going? We barely ate our dinner.”
“I’ve got something better in mind. Food is overrated.” He chuckled as he carried me down the hallway toward the bedroom, where he dropped me on the bed. He hovered over me, a wicked grin spreading across his handsome face. “I can’t wait one more minute to bury myself in you.”
“You do remember carrying me to the bedroom as soon as we got home from the airport, right?” I smiled up at him.
The man was ridiculously sexy.
“I just can’t get enough of you,” he said, his voice gruff.
“I hope you never do.”
“Count on it. I plan to spend the rest of my life loving you, Gracie. It doesn’t matter where we are, as long as we’re together.”
“As long as we’re together. C and G for life, remember?”
“Those are words I plan to live by.” He had this lazy smile on his face that always did crazy things to me.
And he leaned down and claimed my mouth.
Kissing me like I was his last breath.
Like I was his forever.