Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
JULIE
He’s kissing me.
Tucker’s mouth is pressed to mine, and the shock of it hums through my body like a lightning strike. But as soon as it passes, I find my eyes closing, my body charging with something that feels stronger than the shock. I wrap my arms around his neck, and part my lips for him, his scent enveloping me.
He lets out a light groan as I invite him into my mouth, lost in the fiery chemistry exploding between us. I had no idea kissing Tucker Madison would be so exhilarating. His hand snakes around my waist, clutching me to him as he hungrily devours me, his mouth meshing with mine in perfect rhythm.
And I’m lost in him.
I cling to Tucker like he’s oxygen, feeling more wanted than I ever have in my entire life. No one has eve r kissed me like this, and as he finally pulls away, I instantly miss him. Shyly, I look away.
“Sorry,” he clears his throat. “Heat of the moment.”
I gather my courage to gaze up at him, pressing my swollen lips together. “Yeah, totally. Just the heat of the moment.” I try to hide the disappointment, but he reaches for my chin, tipping my head back up to him.
“I didn’t say I didn’t want to kiss you, Julie.”
A throat clearing stops us dead in our tracks, and I whip my head around to see my brother standing in the entrance of the barn, a smirk on his face.
“Just when I thought nothing could disgust me,” he drawls. “I think this might take the cake.”
“Oh, shove it,” I retort.
“The only thing I’ll be shoving is supper into my mouth.” Carson chuckles.
“Now that sounds like a disgusting sight,” I snort, rolling my eyes. “But I don’t expect anything less from you.”
“Good, you shouldn’t.” Carson grins, and then turns his attention to Tucker. “Congrats on the deal though. I actually might be able to tolerate you being around more.”
Tucker slides his fingers down my arm, intertwining his hand with mine. “Good, because I’m going to be around whether you can tolerate me or not.”
I glance up at him, seeing his eyes twinkle beneath the lights of the barn as he leads me toward the exit to follow behind Carson. My breath catches in my throat, and with my freehand, I brush the tips of my fingers across my lips.
Is there something more between us? Or is he just on a high about the deal? The questions swim around my head, and I catch myself beginning to worry, feeling as though I may have just walked myself willingly right into heartbreak.
As we reach the side door, where Carson has already stepped inside, Tucker stops me, his brows furrowed. “Are you okay?”
I force a smile. “Of course, I am. I’m so excited for you.”
He searches my face for a moment, opening his mouth to reply, but I don’t give him a chance. I rip the door open and drag him inside the house, warm and inviting. The scent of dinner usually makes my stomach growl, but instead, it churns with feelings that I hadn’t been prepared for.
Tucker pulls out my chair for me, and I take a seat. He sits beside me, a giddy smile on his face. I’m happy he’s happy. I’m happy he got what I promised out of this deal… I’m just terrified of the feelings bubbling up in my chest. I’ve only ever been left, and that’s what I think about as I fork my maple glazed carrots.
“It’ll be nice to have you around, Tucker,” Mom chimes, her voice filled with pure joy. “I sure hope it means Julie will be around more, too.”
Tucker’s hand lands on my knee, and surprisingly, it calms my nerves. “I hope so. I know she has her job in the city, but I’d love to see her on the weekends.”
I glance up, feeling his eyes on me. “Yeah, of course.” It comes out funny, sounding almost unsure, and as I meet Jessie’s eyes across from me, she furrows her brow.
“I can’t wait to be an angel tomorrow!” Carly explodes, her cheery interruption more than a relief for me. She pulls the conversation topic from Tucker and me, and my family goes on to chat happily about the program coming up. I make comments where I can and try to sound as happy as the man sitting beside me. Tucker is suddenly full of life, and why wouldn’t he be? Why wouldn’t I be?
I’m getting exactly what I asked for. A fake boyfriend.
Who gave me the kiss of a lifetime.
As we finish up the early dinner, I push back from the table, hoping to get a head start on a shower and some alone time to process my jumbled thoughts and feelings.
“Hey, Julie and I can handle the dishes, if you guys want to go get started on charades.” Jessie’s offering isn’t really anything out of the ordinary, but it leaves me feeling anxious—and that feeling is validated the moment everyone exits, leaving the two of us alone.
I clear off the table, setting the dishes to be washed on the edge of the butcher block countertop. “I swear, eating takes ten minutes and cleaning up takes an hour,” I joke, my laughter coming out nervously.
Jessie stops me, placing her hand on my forearm as I reach to start the water. “Spill it, Jules. Something isn’t right with you. Are you not happy with the deal Tucker made with your dad?”
I hesitate, not wanting to give her the wrong idea. “No, I’m happy for him.”
“Are you just not happy with coming home more then?”
I shake my head. “No. That’s not it. I probably won’t come home all that much.” So I don’t have to see him.
Her brows furrow as she steps in beside me, rinsing a plate I’m scrubbing. “Are you and Tucker not doing well…?”
“It’s complicated,” I choke out, that heartsick feeling growing in my chest.
“Everyone is on the other side of the house,” Jessie lowers her voice. “You can tell me, and I promise I won’t say a thing.”
I meet her gaze, my hand freezing, the blue scrubby against the white ceramic plate. “It’s all a lie.”
Jessie looks confused. “What is?”
“Tucker and me,” I answer, and then spend the next ten minutes explaining my entire predicament to her—everything from the bar run-in to the kiss in the barn. Her expression remains still until the very end, not offering me any reassurance or judgment. Finally, when I’m finished, she sighs.
“That is complicated.”
“Yeah,” I groan, wiping the heel of my hand against my forehead. “And I know the kiss was just the heat of the moment, but… But I think I’m… I think I’m falling for him—and that’s so scary. The only serious relationship I had was Nate… And you saw how that went.”
“Tucker isn’t Nate.”
“But he still lit out of this town and never looked back.”
“And,” Jessie reasons, “He also dressed up like Santa just to appease you.”
“He wanted the deal.”
“He kissed you.”
“Again,” I sigh, “It’s the deal.”
“Hmm,” Jessie purses her lips. “Maybe you should talk to him about it.”
“And tell him what? ‘Hey, you kissed me, and now I’m really confused because I think I like you, but at the same time, I’m scared to fall in love.’ ”
“I mean,” she shrugs, “That actually sounds pretty good to me. You could also maybe give it a few more days? See where things go? I mean, if he tries to kiss you again, I’d say that you’ve probably got some solid interest.”
I purse my lips, and before I can respond, the double doors to the kitchen open, none other than Tucker stepping into the room. “Hey,” I choke out.
He gives me that same giddy grin as in the barn. “Hey Honey, you need any help? Playing charades without you isn’t my forte.”
Jessie nudges me. “ Actually, we were just finishing up.”
My stomach lurches, and I lean over the sink, suddenly not so sure that fear of heartbreak is even what caused my uneasy feeling. “Um…”
“Julie?” Tucker rushes to me, as I feel the pinpricks of sweat across my forehead. “Are you okay?”
I can’t answer him, because my dinner is coming straight up my throat. I grip the sink, and then lose it.
“Oh my gosh! Julie!” Jessie exclaims, her voice distant as nausea rolls through my body.
Tucker’s fingers comb through my hair, holding it out of my face as I repeat the disgusting and embarrassing action of vomiting. I squeeze my eyes shut as he reaches around me, flipping on the water in the sink.
He rubs my back, his voice soft. “I got you, Jules. I promise.”