Chapter 15 #2
By the time they crossed the Prescott city limits, they'd finished off the food in the cooler and needed a good night's sleep.
Leo called ahead and reserved a two-bedroom suite at one of the fancier hotels.
Other than asking if anyone needed a comfort break or what type of sandwich or snack they wanted, no one had said much. The driver still controlled the music.
While Leo got their keys to the room and Stephen found a couple of dollies, Samara helped Kellen remove their backpacks and the canvas bag with Josiah's documents.
Grace waited nearby, observing them, looking a bit lost and confused.
A few minutes later, Samara tried to follow Kellen onto the elevator, but was body blocked by both Leo and Stephen.
Stephen smoothly pushed one of the dollies into her hands, signaling her to follow him onto a different elevator, not giving her a choice but to join them without creating a scene.
"What the hell?" she demanded as soon as the elevator door closed.
"They need more time alone," Stephen said. "After one hundred and sixty years, let them have whatever time they need. They don't need our judgement about their relationship."
"I think I have just as much right to judge her as Kellen does after the way she treated me."
"We're not discounting your pain, but Kellen and Grace need to carve out their own feelings without you getting in the middle. He's had to live with her actions a lot longer than you have."
Feeling the sting of Stephen's words, Samara stayed quiet. Once they got to the suite, she pretended to take a great interest in unpacking her backpack while waiting for Kellen and Grace to join them. After three hours, she couldn't wait any longer.
"Something's wrong. They should have been here long before—" The door opened, and Grace entered with Kellen right behind her. Their postures were more relaxed. Whatever they had said to each other accomplished enough for them to have made their own peace.
Now it was Samara’s turn to feel lost and confused, so she retreated to the bedroom she’d selected.
It had a king bed. She wasn't sure if Leo had arranged that or if it was just what was available.
Either way, there was plenty of room for both Kellen and her to sleep, because not for one moment did she believe either one of them had the emotional energy for anything else.
Sure enough, Kellen walked in a few minutes later, with the canvas bag in hand. He paused to take a towel from the bathroom and proceeded to wipe off the soot, not looking at her.
If Kellen wasn't going to talk to her, she would take a shower on her own instead. Without uttering a word to him, she grabbed the travel kit Kellen had packed in her backpack and went into the bathroom. The hot water massaged her aching muscles but did little to calm her emotions.
She took her time drying off. Wrapping herself in a bathrobe she found hanging on the back of the door, she returned to the room, passing Kellen as he went to take his shower. He still didn’t say a word.
She stretched out on the bed as far as her body would let her.
The mattress was firm, but comfy. The pillows were delightfully supportive.
If she wasn't careful, she would fall asleep before Kellen could join her.
She knew they needed to talk, but was now the time when he'd just reunited with his mother?
That's how Kellen found her when he left the bathroom, lying on her back staring at the ceiling.
With a snap, his eyes turned from neutral to blazing hot, roaming over her body.
With care, she bunched the neck of the bathrobe around her, hiding any skin.
"Not tonight. Only if you want to be with me and not escape whatever it is you're feeling about Grace. "
He thumped down on the bed, mimicking her by pulling closed his own bathrobe.
"I'd imagined this scene in my head thousands of times, thinking about all of the things I would say to her if we ever found ourselves in the same room together. All these years, I wanted to pour out my grief and pain and rage at her.”
The long pause of silence that drew out almost made her reach for him. Almost.
Finally, he continued. “But when the time came, all I could do was forgive her because it wasn't her fault.
When I asked her why, she said that she deliberately pushed me away so I could be safe.
She's always known how dangerous Josiah is, how he only wanted more and more power for himself.
She knew I could protect myself by then and that's what she wanted me to do.
The further away from the pack I was, the better off I would be.
When I didn't come back, all she could do was hope deep down that I was still alive. "
"Do you believe her?"
"I want to," he whispered.
Samara rolled onto her side to look at him. "It sounds like you need to talk to each other a lot more before you can truly reconcile."
Kellen stared into her eyes, warm and deep and desperate for understanding.
"I feel like I'm being torn apart. I know you have just as much reason to resent her for not helping you escape, but those feelings are for you and Grace to resolve between the two of you.
I'm falling in love with you, Samara, but I don't know if I can withstand my desire if you're right and your wolf shadow is an alpha and rejects me.
I don't know if I can handle my feelings for you, fight for you, and detangle the feelings I have for my mother at the same time. "
And there they were, back to the same argument, the same excuse as before. Her heart slammed closed, even though she knew how desperately he needed comfort. She had to protect her own heart as well. Rolling onto her back, she returned to staring at the ceiling.
"Tell your wolf shadow that I'm not giving up.
I…might be able to forgive your mother because I cannot even begin to imagine what her life was like living with Josiah for as long as she has.
But, if I have to fight your wolf and your mother for your affection, I'll do it.
I'm falling in love with you too, but if this is going to be a one-sided battle, then tell me and I'll walk away for both of our sakes. "