Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
Everything broke all at once when Samara shook her whole body.
Her tail knocked over the lamp standing in the corner, her claws dug into the carpet and the bed had her trapped against the door to the bathroom.
Every second she remained a wolf she became the uncontrollable menace she imagined she would be.
She couldn't even scream for help because her wolf shadows destroyed her voice.
Instead, an instinct took over and she threw her head back in another long anguished howl of fear and pain.
The urge to flee overwhelmed her, but she had gotten turned around.
Where was the damned door to this nightmare?
She needed to get out, her urge to run making her panic.
In desperation, she resorted to what she'd done in the cage before Josiah let her out.
Churning her hind legs, she leapt over the bed and slammed her body into the window.
Smash it, she silently commanded herself. Break the glass. This weak human construction couldn't hold her. Shatter it and get free.
She saw images from memories that were about her, but not her.
Her grandfather's point of view showed her playing in the park, getting onto a school bus, sitting in the driver's seat of a firetruck with her dad holding her, and her mom picking her up at the hospital's day care.
Then she saw the freshly dug graves of her parents, the funeral attended by their friends and co-workers.
Through the whole service her grandfather kept his arm around her shoulder.
His firm grip made the whole day so much worse, but how could she tell him when all he wanted on that day was to be a good guardian?
She wanted to cry and kick until she stopped hurting.
Instead, she forced all those emotions into a small box where they remained because hysteria at a funeral wouldn't help anyone else.
That's why she was put on this planet. To help others above all else.
Another howl froze her in place. Whirling around, she saw another wolf standing on the bed, the scent familiar but her thoughts were still jumbled.
She bared her teeth. How dare anyone try to stop her from getting out.
This other wolf, however, didn't try to stop her.
Instead of fighting, the pewter-colored wolf lay on the bed with its head upright so it could stare at her with its beautiful dark brown eyes.
Confusion pierced Samara's panic, but she couldn't look away. The eyes pierced her soul but still had a soft touch of sympathy. What was she supposed to do with a wolf that wouldn't fight?
The other wolf broke eye contact and tapped the bed with its nose.
Samara couldn't respond, still suspicious.
With a low growl, the wolf repeated the gesture.
Now she understood. This wolf wanted her in bed with him.
He asked her instead of commanding her because this was Kellen's wolf and Kellen would never force her to do anything.
The king-sized bed could barely fit two full-grown wolves, but somehow they made it work.
Pressed together and curled around each other, Samara felt as if she'd found what she'd been seeking all along.
Kellen stroked her neck with the underside of his jaw which bled her panic and boosted a more languid feeling.
She was safe here with him. He would never hurt her, and he would protect her. She'd do the same for him, but at that moment, her nerves were still raw. It didn't matter if she was a super alpha and Kellen an omega. Together they stayed wrapped around each other until they both fell asleep.
The sun set before the two of them woke. Samara tried to snuggle back into Kellen's soft fur, but a nudge from his nose forced her to pull away.
Kellen started to shift back to human. She'd never voluntarily shifted, so she was at a loss as to how to make it work without a fight or flight response.
All she could do was watch. First the fur absorbed back into his body and became skin.
Under his skin, muscles rippled as the bones beneath changed shape.
She heard nothing that sounded like it would hurt.
It took less than five seconds or so, and like literal magic there he was, Kellen as a human lying on his side, naked. His eye color remained the same, the deep brown that she loved so much.
Propping himself on one arm, he reached out to stroke her fur with the back of his hand. "Picture yourself as human."
She could understand him but couldn't respond except with a timid yip.
"You can do it. It doesn't hurt, but it can feel uncomfortable the first time you try."
In her mind's eye she imagined what she saw when she looked in a mirror.
Most days she only had a bathroom mirror to see herself, so a full body image was impossible.
It didn't seem to matter. She kept that half picture of herself, and before she knew it, her fur disappeared, her joints stretched and rotated, then her muscles squeezed her bones back into place.
"I did it." She held up her hands so she could check to make sure she had all of her fingers, which she did. No more blue tinge anywhere.
He pulled her hands into his, reveling in the warmth of his touch as he placed both of her hands on his heart.
“How do you feel?”
Looking at the dark sky outside, Samara tried to untangle her senses. “It’s like the first time I shifted in the cage. The lights are too bright, the sounds are too loud, and even the air scrapes against my skin.”
"That will pass over time. You will get used to it. I hate to sound redundant, but how about up here?" He tapped her forehead.
"Right now, I don't hear anyone or feel anything except me."
"You don't sense two wolves inside you?"
Closing her eyes, she thought about when she was the wolf. "I did after I shifted. It was the same thing. Part of me would have jumped out of that window to get free. Another part of me wanted to run back into the living room and..."
"And what?" His concern grew sharper, his hand tightening on her.
"Jump you." She hoped her smirk said it all.
The heavy sigh that released from him was filled with what must have been unbearable relief. "Not in front of the others. I'm all for changing positions and a little experimentation, but exhibitionism isn't in my repertoire."
She kissed his nose. "Good. Me neither. But, you'll have to tell me more about those positions you're interested in."
"And on that note..." He rolled off the bed. "Your clothing is on the floor. Mine is in the living room. I'll close the door behind me."
She scooped up her knife, pants, and shirt.
"Samara."
"Yeah."
Steps halting, he hesitated before speaking. "Be careful. You still might not sense both wolves in human form because there's still silver inside you."
"I will. You'll be the first to know." She patted the side of the bed.
He didn't respond to her invitation.
"What?" she asked, suddenly feeling anxious.
"I...I think it would be best if you slept alone tonight. Just in case you start to shift again, or your grandfather's shadow starts to make you feel things you don't want to."
"Oh, no...no...no. Don't do this to me. Not now."
"I don't want to. It's just until you're sure you can handle two wolf shadows. This is unprecedented. We don't know what is going to happen."
"Bullshit! You're breaking your promise to fight for me. You're walking away before we even know for sure what my wolf shadow wants. Mine! Not my grandfather's."
"Samara," he raised his hand toward her in a placating manner.
She smacked it away.
"You know what? You’re right. I’ll sleep alone tonight. You can go comfort yourself with your Grace and your brothers."
"Listen to me—"
That was all he got out before she shoved him out the door and slammed it closed. Damn him and his wolf shadow.
She started shoving clothes into her backpack while mentally reviewing the railroad map she'd long ago memorized just in case she decided to leave and live her life as a rogue. Leo could get her a fake ID so she could take a regular train or bus instead of freight hopping. The tears started. Damn it. All she had wanted was to feel Kellen lying beside her, comforting her, stroking her skin, and reminding her that she didn’t have to do this alone.
He had the power and strength to protect himself.
Why couldn’t he do that and sleep next to her?
She wasn’t made of glass that would break if she shifted back into a wolf again.
Not ready to face Kellen, she paced back and forth, she lay down on the bed half-heartedly creating an exit plan.
She thought about her next destination. Colorado had mountains and temperatures that were closer to what she was used to, but it was also more likely to have wolf shifter packs.
She could go west to California. The lure of seeing the Pacific Ocean excited her.
She could lose herself in a beach community along the coast. There had to be places like the White Mountains Bar & Grill that would pay her under the table.
Except this time, she'd know if the owner was a wolf shifter so she could avoid it.
What would it feel like to dive into the deep blue sea?
What would she find? Did dolphin shifters exist?
Her thoughts became sillier as evening passed into night.
There was a soft knock on the door. "Samara, it's Grace. I have dinner."
"Door's open."
Grace carried a tray filled with steak, mashed potatoes, broccoli, and iced tea. It would be so nice to order what she wanted and not what others thought she should eat once she left. If she decided to leave. Hotel food wouldn't taste the same after eating George's cooking, though.
Carlie and George. She'd never see them again.
"You're leaving us?" Grace asked, noticing Samara’s cinched backpack.
"No point in staying. There's nothing for me here with the so-called brotherhood. Your son is still a slave to his wolf shadow."
"I'll talk to him."