Chapter Thirty-One
Matteo
I stormed out of the penthouse to breathe, to claw back some semblance of control before I did something I couldn’t take back.
Again. Because that bridge, I already crossed it yesterday.
But no more. She deserves to be pursued gently, romantically and tenderly like the queen she is.
And even if it’ll kill me, gentle and slow is what she’ll get.
I’ll get her flowers and jewels if that’s what she wants.
I’ll burn the world if it’ll make her gorgeous eyes light up.
I’ll fucking crawl over glowing embers if that’ll make her see me.
The only thing I can’t give her is her freedom.
For half an hour, I prowled the building, stalking down the twenty flights of stairs to the lobby and pacing the marble floors like a caged animal, shoving the rage back down my throat. Reminding myself I wasn’t just a blood-soaked enforcer anymore. I was supposed to be better now. For her.
And I had fucking calmed down, goddamnit.
But the second I walked back in and felt the cold steel kiss my throat, every thread of control snapped at once.
The sight of my Ghost standing there, holding that knife to my throat, tore something open inside me.
The monster. The part of me that bleeds and kills for the Mafia, that smiles while breaking men’s bones, that has violence running through its veins like second nature.
That part of me roared awake and there was no stopping it.
She wanted to leave me? Over my fucking dead body.
I laughed like a lunatic because the moment that blade touched me, I felt alive. It was like she had given me permission to become what I really am. And I saw her fear, her eyes widening when she realized I wasn’t afraid, that I’d never be afraid of her.
By the time I shove her into the bedroom, I’m beyond any sane thought.
Beyond any reason. All I can think is that she tried to escape, that she’d rather face me with a knife than stay.
And that’s something I can’t allow, but I’ll make her understand.
She doesn’t understand that she’s already ruined me, burned me alive from the inside out.
She owns me in ways my mind can’t comprehend.
My breath comes out harsh and ragged, the anger twisting into something hotter, darker, as I look at her sprawled form on the bed.
The wild terror and defiance in her eyes makes my blood boil and my pulse race.
She doesn’t get it, she may struggle and resist me, but the fight only makes something savage rise in me.
Her resistance only makes me worse, only makes me need her more.
My body follows hers on the bed, caging her in, my knees digging into the mattress on either side of her hips.
She thrashes, her nails scraping at my arms, but I catch her wrists and pin them above her head while my other hand wraps around her throat, reveling in the beat of her pulse thrumming against my palm.
My breath comes out in hot, ragged pants against her lips.
She doesn’t know what she does to me. She doesn’t know how close I am to losing everything—my mind, my control, my soul.
Her eyes burn into mine, furious, terrified, and defiant all at once, and I swear I’m drowning in them. It’s not only anger that claws at me, it’s need, raw and brutal.
“You drive me insane,” I hiss, pressing her wrists harder into the bed, needing her to feel it, needing her to see what she does to me. “I’ve killed men for less than this. And you…” I trail off, my sanity hanging on by a thread. Her scent is driving me wild.
She tries to jerk her wrists free, but I lean in closer, my forehead touching hers.
“You’re not leaving me,” I rasp against her lips, my voice trembling with the resolve behind those words.
“Not today, not ever. I don’t care how much you fight me, or how much you hate me…
I’ll take it all. Every look, every breath, every bit of you. Because you. Are. Mine.”
She pushes against me, her breathing hard, and I can feel her heartbeat pounding against my chest. It’s maddening. She’s maddening.
She glares up at me, fire in her eyes despite the fear I see flickering underneath. “I’m not yours,” she spits.
Something in me snaps. My lips crash on hers, and it’s not a kiss but a claim, my teeth dragging against her bottom lip until she gasps.
I release her wrists only to grab her hips, digging my fingers in as if I could carve myself into her skin just to remind her she belongs to me.
There is no softness, only the raw, gnawing need to own her, to make her feel what I feel.
I pull back to see her face, flushed and furious, and I swear my pulse is a drumbeat in my ears. “Say it,” I demand, my voice harsh. “Say you’re mine.”
She shakes her head, defiant, and I let out a rough laugh, dark and broken. “You’d rather fight me than admit the truth,” I grit out. “You’d rather pick up a knife than admit what’s between us. But I see it, I feel it every time you look at me, every time you try to push me away and fail.”
My mouth trails down her throat, hot and desperate, tasting her skin like a man starved.
I can’t stop. I don’t want to stop. My hands are everywhere, shaking from how badly I want her.
“Do you know what you’ve done to me?” I whisper against her collarbone, my voice raw.
“I can’t fucking think, can’t breathe without you crawling into my head.
” I pin her wrists again, harder, leaning over her, my forehead pressed to hers.
“You can hate me all you want, but you’ll hate me while I’m inside your skin, like you are under mine. ”
And with that, I kiss her again, deeper this time, in a messy collision of anger and desire, as though I can fuse us together.
I release her wrists to trail my hand down to her pussy.
I stroke her through the lace of her panties and my heart skips a beat when I find it damp.
I feel her breath hitch and a ragged moan slips out of her throat. That sound drives me fucking feral.
In one single movement, I pull her panties off her, removing her shoes at the same time.
Then I snake my hand around her to unclasp her bra and throw it aside, and there she is, bared, offered to me.
I see the edges of my vision blur as I take her in.
I faintly feel her pushing against my chest with her hand, maybe she is saying something, but the drumming of my heartbeat in my ears drowns out any other sound.
I cup her pussy with my hand, sliding a finger inside her.
I groan. “Fuuuck, so wet.” I am going to come in my pants .
A desperate frenzy takes over and I move my hand to her throat, pinning her to the mattress while I claw my clothes away.
Buttons fly, fabric tears, and I am finally stripped of everything between me and her.
I look down, breathing hard. Her eyes are huge as they look up at me, frightened but defiant.
And fuck me if this isn’t the most beautiful sight ever.
I strike with a feral growl. In a blink I am on her, pinning her under me and I harshly grab her thighs to open her, baring her to me. And then in one hard push I am seated deeply inside her.
Fuck, she feels like heaven .
My last shred of sanity dissolves and there is nothing else than a primitive, intense need to own, to possess.
I start to pound into her in hard, brutal thrusts, feeling pleasure so intense coiling in my balls that I see stars.
I bury my face in her neck, inhaling her like a drug while I hold her hips in a rough grip.
I know that she will be bruised, that my marks will be visible on her porcelain skin, and it drives me further into madness.
A thought filters dimly through my haze— she needs to come, too .
I wrestle back a sliver of lucidity and creep a hand down between our bodies to circle her clit with my thumb, drawing low moans out of her.
My face is still buried in her neck and I feel her heartbeat thrumming against my lips as I lick and nip at her pulse point.
I snap my hips forward, burying myself deeper into her, desperate to own her on more than a physical level.
Desperate to imprint myself into her so deep that she would never leave me.
I hear her moans grow louder and more urgent and I can’t take it anymore.
“Fucking come for me, now,” I grit out and bite down on her neck, sucking her skin hard, marking her for everyone else to see. Mine .
She comes in a loud cry, her pussy contracting around me, and this is all it takes to push me over the edge.
I grip her hips to hold her immobile and slam into her three more times before I freeze, shuddering, feeling my cum shoot out into her in hot spurts.
I roar from the sensation, the release so intense it shakes me to the core.
When I recover at last, I hear our ragged breaths coming out like one and I feel her heart pounding against my chest. I hoist myself up on my elbows and look at her. Her face is flushed, her eyes closed, lips parted to let out low pants. So beautiful .
Still inside her, I lift my hand to her face to cup her cheek and brush my thumb over her lower lip. Her eyes fly open and lock on mine. And I fucking drown in their violet depths.