My Girl to Use (Wilder House #4)

Prologue

Zora

The knock comes out of nowhere. I’m in my room, but the walls here are thin enough that it might as well be at my elbow.

Amelia groans from the couch. “If that’s Jess’s ex again, I swear…”

“It’s not mine,” Jess snaps from the kitchen. “I blocked him.”

I smile gently to myself just as the knock comes again. This time, I hear Amelia groan. She gets up noisily to open the door.

A few seconds later, it’s slammed shut.

“Zora!” Amelia calls. “There’s a…package out here for you.”

“What? Me?” I mutter.

I don’t get packages. Ever. Still, I sigh, tossing the shirt I was folding onto the bed. I walk down the short hallway, wiping my hands on my shorts. Amelia is already at the door, peeking through the peephole.

“That’s weird.”

“What?” I step closer. “Who is it?”

“It’s a baby,” she mutters.

I blink. “What do you mean ‘a baby’?”

She hesitates, then slowly opens the door. Cold air slips in first. Then I see it. A box. Just sitting there on the floor.

Jess leans over Amelia’s shoulder. “Did someone…leave a baby at our door by mistake?”

“No,” Amelia replies. “Zora’s name is clearly written on the card.”

And there it is, sitting right on top of the blanket. I’m already stepping forward.

“Move,” I say, pushing past her.

I crouch down slowly, my heart beating too fast. My fingers tremble as I peel back the thin blanket inside the box, and everything stops.

A tiny baby, dressed in a blue onesie. His face is red, scrunched, his mouth opening in a weak cry that barely makes a sound.

He’s been at it long enough to lose the sound of it. Nobody has held him in hours.

“Oh my God…” I breathe.

Jess swears behind me. “Nope. Nope, absolutely not.”

I pick up the folded piece of paper tucked beside him. My name is also written on it.

Zora.

My chest tightens.

“Zora…” Amelia’s voice is sharp now. “Don’t touch it.”

Too late. I’m already lifting him. He’s warm. So warm. And so small it scares me. His crying softens the second he’s against me, like he knows. My throat burns. I open the letter with one hand, my fingers shaking so badly I almost drop it.

Zora —

His name is Levi. He’s yours now. I can’t do it again, and I’m not going to pretend I can. Don’t look for me.

—Janice

She signed her name. Not Mom. Her name, like I’m someone she used to work with.

That’s all of it. No date. No father. No number. Nothing about who fed him last or when. I read it once. Then again. And again. My ears start ringing.

“What does it say?” Amelia asks.

I swallow hard. “It’s…from my mom.”

“That’s not good,” Jess mutters.

“No,” I whisper. “It’s not.”

I look down at the baby in my arms. “She says…this is my brother.” My voice cracks. “His name is Levi.”

Jess lets out a harsh laugh. “That’s not funny.”

“I’m not joking.”

Amelia steps closer. “Zora, what the hell are you talking about?”

“I didn’t even know she was pregnant,” I say, more to myself than to them.

“Okay, no,” Jess cuts in. “No, no, no. Whatever this is, it’s not your problem.”

I tighten my hold on him instinctively. “It is now.”

“Zora…”

“She left him,” I say, my voice shaking. “She just…left him here.”

“Call the police,” Jess says immediately.

My head snaps up. “No.”

“Yes. That’s what you’re supposed to do!”

“No,” I repeat, firmer this time.

Because what happens after that call? Somebody comes and writes things down.

That’s what they do—they write it down, and they put it in a folder, and then the folder sits somewhere.

I know exactly how much good that does. Nobody ever came for me.

Not once, not in eighteen years, and I’m not going to stand here and pretend that this time the phone call works.

Amelia exhales sharply. “Zora, you can’t keep him.”

I look down at Levi. He’s quiet now. Watching nothing. Just staring at me. Almost in wonder. “I’m not giving him away,” I say.

Jess stares at me like I’ve lost my mind. “You don’t have a choice.”

“I do.”

“No, you don’t. The three of us are already cramped in here. The landlord barely allowed it. We can’t have a baby live here too!” Jess retorts.

Then Amelia chimes in, “Jess is right. Besides, I did not sign up for a kid when I got this apartment with you. My work is stressful enough. I don’t need to have a baby crying in my ear every day and night.”

“I’ll figure something out,” I reply.

“With what money?” she shoots back. “With what time? You work full-time!”

“I’ll make it work.”

The room goes silent. Levi shifts slightly in my arms, letting out a soft whimper. Instinct takes over. I rock him gently, my hand cradling his head. The motion is automatic—a year of daycare shifts living in my hands, doing the thinking for me while the rest of me catches up.

“It’s okay,” I murmur. “I’ve got you.”

Jess scoffs. I ignore her and walk quickly to my room, nudging the door shut with my foot. The second it clicks, the noise from the living room fades, leaving just me and the soft, uneven breaths of the baby in my arms.

Levi. My brother. The word feels strange. Heavy. I sit on the edge of my bed and grab my phone, pulling up my mom’s contact. My thumb hovers for a second before I press call.

The number you have dialed is no longer in service.

I freeze.

“No…no, no, no,” I whisper, pulling the phone away and staring at the screen like it might change. I hit call again. Same message. Same pleasant voice, like it’s telling me an office is closed for the holiday.

A hollow laugh slips out of me. “Of course. Of course, you did.”

Levi stirs at the sound, his face scrunching before a thin cry breaks free. Panic spikes through me, sharp and immediate.

“Hey…hey, it’s okay,” I murmur quickly, adjusting him in my arms. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”

I stand and start pacing, bouncing him gently the way I’ve done a hundred times at the daycare.

It takes a few seconds, but his cries soften into quiet whimpers, then fade completely.

I exhale shakily. I know I need to figure something out.

My roommates were right. If the landlord finds out, he might just evict us all.

He didn’t want us three living in the apartment in the first place.

“Guess it’s just us,” I murmur, looking down at him.

Levi shifts again, his tiny hand brushing against my shirt like he’s searching for something. My chest tightens painfully.

“Yeah…I know,” I whisper. “You’re hungry.”

I move to my bag and dig through it quickly, pulling out the small emergency kit I keep from work. Formula packets. A bottle. Thank God.

“You got lucky,” I say softly. “I’m prepared.”

My hands move automatically—pouring, mixing, shaking. It’s muscle memory at this point. Something familiar in the middle of all this chaos. I sit back down and guide the bottle gently to his lips. For a second, nothing happens.

Then he latches. “Oh,” I breathe, watching him drink. “Okay…okay, you were really hungry.”

I run my eyes over Levi’s tiny form. Six weeks, maybe seven. Old enough that the cord’s healed over, young enough that he still curls like he’s waiting to be put back. She kept him long enough to name him, and then she was done.

A tear slips down my cheek before I can stop it. I swipe it away quickly, shaking my head. It doesn’t stop, so I let it flow. She didn’t even try to call. Didn’t warn me. Didn’t ask. She just dropped him here like he was nothing. My jaw sets hard enough to ache.

“You don’t deserve that,” I whisper to him. “You don’t deserve her. Just like I didn’t.”

Even now, thinking back to how I grew up with her, I’m glad she gave him up. Levi makes a small sound, still drinking. His fingers curl weakly around one of mine when I offer it. He finishes the formula, and I slip the bottle out of his mouth.

I glance toward the door, thinking about Amelia and Jess. About the lease and everything that’s about to fall apart because of this. Because of her. A bitter taste fills my mouth.

“She always does this,” I whisper. “Leaves messes for other people to clean up.”

Levi stirs slightly, and I soften instantly, my voice dropping again. “Not you, though. You’re not a mess.”

He makes a small sound, almost like a sigh. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” I admit quietly, my voice barely above a whisper. “But I’m not leaving you. Not like that. Not ever.”

The words come out steady, even though everything inside me feels like it’s shifting too fast to keep up. I adjust him again, letting him rest more comfortably against my chest, feeling the slow, steady rhythm of his breathing.

“You’re mine now,” I say quietly. “And I’m not letting anyone take you. Not her. Not anyone.”

The promise settles into me, heavy and unshakable. I don’t know where we’re going to go or how I’m going to afford anything or how I’m going to explain this to anyone. But I know one thing.

“I’ll protect you,” I whisper, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. “From the world if I have to.”

Levi makes a soft, sleepy sound. And just like that, there’s no going back.