Chapter 10 Jade
Jade
Jade finished cleaning and closed the shop in record time.
She normally liked to take a shower after a long day of work.
But it was already seven, and she had to swing by the grocery store before going to Lucy’s.
She made a quick call to her sister Bethany both to check in on how her summer grad school classes were going, and to distract herself from the perma-tingle in her stomach during the drive.
Thirty minutes later, she pulled into Lucy’s driveway.
Whoa. This woman really, really liked lawn ornaments. And hanging things, and butterflies.
The small white rambler-style home was cute.
A cedar fence surrounding an overgrown garden, hanging plants, a swinging bench on the front porch, a one-car garage.
The front step creaked under her foot as she made her way to the door.
She inhaled and lifted her fist to knock, but the door swung open.
A fresh-faced Lucy in a T-shirt and black cotton skirt opened the door with a wide smile.
Her long brown hair cascaded down her shoulders.
Jade figured she had mentally exaggerated how beautiful Lucy was.
That somehow, the vision of Lucy in the coffee shop with her pink mouth and curvy body and those dark brown eyes Jade wanted to swim in was enhanced in her mind.
She was wrong.
‘Hey! You found it okay.’ Lucy bounced up for a hug, and Jade was caught off-guard. ‘Oops. I’m a hugger. Sorry.’
Jade squeezed tight and pretended that Lucy’s apple-scented shampoo wasn’t having the effect on her that it was.
‘Roooorooo …’ A moan echoed behind Lucy.
Lucy stepped back and held the door wider. ‘Yes, my little man. Chucky, meet Jade.’
The sweet golden-haired dog with a wrinkled face and patches of grey on his scruff looked up at Jade. She crouched, held out her hand for him to sniff, then scratched under his chin. ‘Glad to finally see you in person, Chucky.’
She took another step. The house was even cuter on the inside.
Hardwood floors, a large, overstuffed couch, a huge wooden coffee table with a smattering of books, remotes, and chargers.
The walls, in soft orange and yellow, were surprisingly colourful for Jade’s taste, yet they suited the space.
A small kitchen island, a tiny circle table, and so many dog toys it looked like Lucy ran a doggy daycare.
Pictures of what she assumed were family and friends had been framed and hung in what seemed like no particular way.
Jade lifted a bag. ‘Cheese, crackers, cookies. And grapes. ’Cause, fruits, you know?’
‘Let’s make sure Chucky doesn’t get into those,’ Lucy said as she closed the door. ‘He’s a sneaky little old man. Grapes will make him do unsavoury things to the floor.’
Jade slipped off her shoes.
‘You can keep shoes on, unless you want your socks covered in dog hair. I sweep every day, but by the end of the night my feet look like Snuffleupagus from Sesame Street.’
Jade followed Lucy into the kitchen and set the bag on the island. ‘I haven’t seen that in forever. The shaggy monster?’
‘Yep.’ Lucy opened the fridge and pulled out a few items, as Jade tried to get a handle on her heartbeat that was thudding so loud in her ears, she was sure that Lucy could hear it.
Stop freaking out. This was a friendly get-together, nothing more. They’d been talking daily for a while now and had built such a casual rapport. So why did being inside Lucy’s home, with its warm feel and even warmer smells, seem anything but casual? ‘Can I help with something?’
Lucy bumped the door closed with her hip. ‘Nope. Take a seat. Can I make you a drink?’
‘What do you have?’
‘How does homemade strawberry lemonade sound?’
‘Like actually homemade?’
‘Yep. Stirred it from the powder myself.’ She grinned and plopped strawberries in a colander. ‘I’m sure I have some vodka in one of the cupboards if you want a shot.’
A drink sounded kind of nice, but Jade needed to remain on her A-game tonight.
Her nerves were already shooting through her, and after a few drinks she’d either get super anxious, want to dance on the kitchen floor, or fall asleep.
None seemed like appropriate options. ‘Thanks, but if I have one, then I’ll want two, then I won’t be able to drive home, and I don’t think we’re quite ready for a sleepover yet. I don’t even have pyjamas.’
If she didn’t know any better, she could have sworn that a blush swept Lucy’s cheeks.
Jade sank into a barstool, sipped the lemonade, and watched Lucy’s delicate fingers arrange the cheese slices, meat, and crackers on the plate. She spread jelly on top of the brie and stuck a knife in the middle of the cheese.
‘That’s quite the spread,’ said Jade. ‘I usually end up with PB&J or leftover Thai for dinner.’
‘Thai does heat up pretty nice. But I like this stuff. Cooking, having friends over.’ She folded a piece of prosciutto. ‘I’ll make sure my meats don’t touch your cheeses.’
‘Glad you’ll be keeping your salty meats to yourself.’
Lucy stopped mid-slice and started giggling. ‘Oh my God, why does that sound so dirty? My maturity level is perpetually stuck in junior high.’
Can she be any more adorable?
The sugary strawberry lemonade slid down Jade’s throat, and she stood to look at the backyard.
A hammock swung between two trees, a wind chime flickered golden magenta with the evening sun, and leaves swayed in the late summer breeze.
The entire yard looked like relaxation, and she verged on asking if she could come over and take a nap there someday.
Chucky whined, and Jade turned back to Lucy.
‘I know, Chucky. Here.’ Lucy tore off a small chunk of mozzarella and held it in her palm.
‘The vet fat-shamed my dog. Chucky’s supposed to lose like three pounds, but I just can’t do it.
He loves treats, and he only has a few years left.
I want to make them as happy for him as I can.
’ She washed her hands and returned to the platter.
‘And honestly, when I’m a senior, no one better take away my snacks. ’
Jade helped Lucy carry the food into the living room and took a seat next to her on the couch. She cut a chunk of brie, spread it on a cracker with pepper jelly, and told Lucy about the hair catastrophe from earlier.
Lucy chatted about having their quarterly practice today for what to do during a robbery.
‘A robbery?’ Jade hated the thought of Lucy in danger. ‘Has that ever happened before?’
‘No, even though we do get some sketchy people in there sometimes,’ Lucy said. ‘But I’m much more likely to get in a car accident on the way to work.’
They continued to talk for almost an hour, with Golden Girls playing in the background, when something inside Jade started to tug at her.
She should probably tell Lucy she was previously married.
At this point, it was starting to feel like she was lying by withholding the information.
On the other hand, talking about her ex always plummeted whatever good mood Jade had.
And so far, tonight was the most relaxed, fun evening she’d had in a long time.
‘Have you ever been married?’ Jade casually plucked a grape off the vine and chewed slowly, trying to act calm despite her pounding heart.
‘Nah.’ Lucy grinned and plucked one for herself. ‘I don’t think marriage is on the cards for me. You?’
Not on the cards? What exactly did that mean? Even though Jade wanted to know more, now was the perfect opportunity to come clean. ‘I got divorced last year.’
Lucy stopped chewing. She began again and swallowed hard. ‘Really? Can I ask what happened?’
Realised love wasn’t enough. Lost my identity in a relationship.
Wanted fundamentally different things. ‘Why ruin a good Golden Girls marathon with all of that?’ Jade tried to chuckle, but a sort of awkward cough escaped instead.
After all this time, she thought she was ready to talk about her ex. She wasn’t.
Lucy shifted back into the couch and tugged her legs to her chest. ‘I’m so sorry. Ms Prying McPryerton. None of my business.’
‘It’s all good.’ Jade waved the words away. ‘So, you don’t think marriage is on the cards for you?’
‘Nah. I don’t like people.’
Jade laughed. ‘I don’t think I have ever actually met a warmer person in my life.’
‘It’s all a cover. You have no idea what I do when the clock chimes midnight.’
‘That could be terrifying or sexy depending on how you look at it.’ The word ‘sexy’ rolled off her tongue in more of a growl than intended, and the room heated. A commercial played on the TV, interrupting the moment. Thank God. Jade took the opportunity to hop off the couch.
She wasn’t ready for whatever was happening here.
But her mind struggled to transfer that message to the rest of her body.
‘I should get going.’ She piled the napkins and glasses on the tray and scurried to the kitchen.
She had to get out of there, stop being so close, stop talking so openly to this woman who made her laugh, forget about pressures of work, forget about the pain in her past. She needed to stop looking at Lucy’s soft mouth, and her pretty fingers, and the long slope of her neck, and she definitely needed to stop wondering what her skin tasted like.
The memory of her divorce was still raw, and she knew that opening herself up to Lucy invited in the possibility of getting hurt.
Yep, she had to leave. Now.
Lucy joined her and set the rest of the plates in the sink. They both stood in silence.
Was she thinking the same thing as Jade? That she should leave … or that she should stay?
Lucy rested her hand on top of Jade’s. ‘I’m really glad you came over. It’s been a long time …’
‘Since you tasted salted meats?’
‘Oh my God, I’m never living that down.’ Lucy laughed and their eyes locked. Really, really, locked. Lucy’s gaze dipped and lingered on Jade’s mouth.
The moonlight settled on Lucy’s soft amber waves. Jade took in her round cheeks, her smooth, full lips, the way the top of Lucy’s neck flushed with rose. God, she was irresistible. Her pulse thudded in her chest, a steady thump that moved, louder, and more intense, until it reached her ears.
Screw it. Jade bent her head down and pressed her lips against Lucy’s, softly. Lucy’s warm lips parted, moved, and pushed back. She tasted like grapes and lemonade and hope. Jade laid a palm on Lucy’s hip and tugged closer.
Lucy whipped her head back and fumbled on her feet.
‘Holy shit! I’m so sorry.’ Jade slammed her hand against her mouth. ‘I should’ve asked … I should never presume—’
‘No, no, it’s me. I … can’t.’
The heat from the kiss catapulted to the heat of embarrassment.
How had she misread the signs so badly? Jade wanted to bolt from the house.
This was so mortifying. And now she had probably destroyed the first friendship she’d made in years.
‘Truly, Lucy. It’s me. It’s been a long time since I … What I mean is, I totally misread—’
‘I’m pregnant.’
Jade cocked her head. One, two, three full seconds passed as Lucy’s eyes grew wider and she bit on the corner of her lip.
And … Jade burst out laughing. Pregnant? ‘Oh my God! You kill me.’ She put her hand against her chest as her belly quivered. Lucy’s humour was one for the record books.
Lucy’s gaze flicked back and forth, and it took several moments too long for Jade to realise Lucy’s mouth was absent of a smile.
Wait. No. What? Jade’s laughing halted. She scanned Lucy’s face. ‘What?’
‘I guess I’m not technically pregnant.’ Lucy fiddled with her fingers. ‘But I’m in the process of being a surrogate for Drew and his husband.’
No. Wait … no. Shit. Jade’s mouth opened. So many thoughts tumbled through her brain, but she couldn’t lock on a single one. She swallowed what felt like a boulder and stepped back. ‘Wow. I guess that’s … a big deal.’
And then, suddenly, questions sprang into her mind, filling the shocked emptiness.
Questions, like ‘so does this mean you are going to be a mom’ and ‘why’ and ‘what does this mean for our budding, ah, friendship?’ But no.
She couldn’t voice any of that. Those questions were all too invasive – or selfish.
‘Yeah, I guess it is a big deal.’ Lucy cleared her throat, oblivious to the storm inside Jade.
‘I actually haven’t told anyone except my dad.
Well, besides the lawyer, doctors, surrogacy coordinator, receptionist, and my manager.
Other than that …’ She grinned and swiped her hand across Jade’s.
‘If this is all not too weird for you, then I’d love to, ah, continue what we started here.
Not to be all, technical or whatever, but I can’t do everything.
But I can do some PG-13 related items …’
Jade couldn’t contain all this information. The image of Elizabeth stomping into their kitchen saying she applied for adoption flashed through her mind. Even though it wasn’t logical, even though the situations were not the same, Jade couldn’t stop her chest from filling with a mist of betrayal.
She and Lucy had been chatting for weeks, and Lucy never once brought this up. All the times when Jade said, ‘what were you up to today’, had it slipped Lucy’s mind to mention that she was having a baby? Lucy didn’t owe Jade anything, per se. But wasn’t Jade worthy of a little honesty?
After all the work Jade put in to rediscover herself, her worth, and once again the steadfast conviction that she wanted absolutely nothing to do with mothering or raising children, Jade felt her face heat.
This is what happens when I let my body instead of my brain do the thinking!
She wasn’t ready to date yet. Or sleep with anyone.
And she especially wasn’t ready to be with someone who’d be totally focused on something else, and once again Jade would have to elbow her way into their world and take the scraps.
Sure, the irritation of all this landed unfairly on Lucy, but Jade couldn’t help it. Her back stiffened. ‘I don’t think this is a good idea anymore.’
‘It’s not like anything is broken down there.’ Lucy chuckled. ‘It’s all in working order. Even the doc says so.’
I need to leave. Jade wanted to smile but didn’t. Lucy’s grin faded as Jade reached for her bag on the counter. ‘Thanks for the food. And I guess, um, congratulations.’
Run. Run fast and far and do not look back for anything.
Jade bolted to the door. When her hands gripped the knob, she took a breath and glanced back at Lucy, who was chewing silently on her lower lip.
‘It was really nice getting to know you, Lucy.’ The words felt like sandpaper against her throat, and she swallowed back the sickliness rising in her belly.
‘Good luck with everything.’ She shut the door, ran to her car, and refused to look back.
And she barely made it to a stoplight when the hot sting of tears formed behind her eyes.