Chapter 15 Lucy #2
‘I’m totally kidding. I swear I didn’t!’ Lucy was still pretty bummed she hadn’t gotten a sneak peek.
Jade fiddled with the straw in her sparkling water. ‘What about you? Do you have family in the area?’
The server set down the plates, the steam rising from the pasta. Lucy twirled the noodles on her spoon and felt a sliver of honesty edging its way upwards. ‘My mom died when I was ten. Bike accident.’
‘Oh, wow.’ Jade’s words were soft.
Lucy wanted to suck back this conversation. She didn’t talk about her mom, ever. And yet, just saying that piece was stirring something.
‘My dad is around, and we spend a lot of time together. I sometimes wonder if my dad and I would be as close if my mom were still here. Oh gosh, that probably sounds awful. Obviously, it’s not like I’m glad my mom died, but I lucked out in the dad department. You’d like him. He’s a grumpy old man.’
‘I love that you guys are there for each other.’ Jade scooped up tomato sauce with a chunk of bread. ‘Can I ask you a question?’
‘Sure.’
‘What made you decide to be a surrogate for your friend?’
The question was hefty, although not unexpected, and Lucy wanted to give Jade a longer answer than she could probably formulate coherently on the spot. ‘You’re not going to ask me how much they’re paying me?’
‘That’s none of my damn business.’
Something about Jade’s response warmed Lucy.
‘Very few people in my life know I’m doing this, but I’ve gotten the same two questions from all of them: How much are they paying you and how’s it going to happen?
’ She bit into a spicy sausage and swallowed.
‘I think they assume Drew and I are going to bang it out in the bedroom with blindfolds on.’ She shuddered. ‘Gross. Dudes.’
‘True.’ Jade laughed and tipped her glass in solidarity. ‘I knew the surrogacy process was a … process. But it’s even more than I realised. The shots, meds, appointments and things.’
‘During one appointment, they shot dye up my fallopian tubes, and I got so sick. And the doctor was super cute and I Exorcist-style projectile vomited all over her.’ Lucy slammed her hand on her mouth. ‘Oh God, we’re eating. Sorry.’
Jade laughed and waved her hand. ‘You probably wouldn’t believe this, but a few times a year, some customer at the salon pukes. It’s gross, but it doesn’t gross me out to talk about it.’ Jade pulled the straw to her lips. Her eyes were twinkling. ‘So, what did the doctor do?’
‘Funny enough, it wasn’t so much what the doctor did as what Drew did.’ Lucy grinned with the memory. ‘He turned as white as the lab coat and stumbled from the room. The doc was a pro, though. Returned a while later in fresh clothes and did the transvaginal ultrasound.’
Jade winced. ‘Yikes. That doesn’t sound fun.’
‘She dug out what I swear was a twelve-inch dildo. I totally panicked so I threw my hands up and said, “Wait, you gonna buy me dinner first or what?”’
Jade muffled a laugh with her fist. ‘Oh no, you didn’t!’
Lucy lifted an eyebrow. ‘She didn’t find me nearly as amusing as I found me.’
Jade chuckled, then dunked the bread into her sauce and stared out the window while she chewed. ‘I bet the dads are super grateful for you.’
‘They are, but I’m so grateful for them.’ Lucy twirled the pasta on her fork. ‘It’s hard to explain, but sometimes I feel like I get more out of this than they do.’
‘Well, they get a baby, right?’
‘Okay, fair. But … how do I say this without sounding like a Mother Teresa wannabe?’ Lucy strummed her fingers on the table, her silver rings clicking. ‘Have you ever paid for coffee for the people behind you in a Starbucks drive-thru?’
Jade cocked her head. ‘Um … Yeah?’
‘Tell me what it felt like.’
‘Hmmm.’ Jade shrugged. ‘An adrenaline rush, maybe? I remember flying high for an hour after, wondering if it made these random people’s day. And then hoping they weren’t assholes.’
‘Oh, good point – wouldn’t it be the worst to waste a good deed like that on jerks?
’ Lucy wiped her mouth with the corner of the napkin.
‘But yeah, so buying that coffee just makes you feel good, right? Picture that feeling, times a thousand, for years. Sometimes I think it’s more me doing this for me because of the jolts I’m getting. ’
A few beats passed, and Jade blinked at the window. ‘I think I’m slowly starting to get it.’
They spent the next hour eating a raspberry-and-chocolate-filled torte and laughing over embarrassing stories – Lucy had a million of them, Jade not quite as many.
As the hour went by, the more they talked, the more Lucy’s eyes travelled to Jade’s mouth, to the curve of her shoulder, to the creamy outline of her nape.
Her laughter filled the room, her words filled Lucy.
What was Lucy thinking? She signed an affidavit claiming to be single.
Yes, yes, the essence of the affidavit was in regard to marriage, or a live-in partner, but still.
She didn’t fully understand these feelings.
And she was two seconds away from getting pregnant.
Pregnancy might bring forth her best self, or her worst self, but it would certainly change her in some way.
Any relationship she started now would be doomed.
Maybe the impending pregnant-hood was affecting her more than she realised.
She really thought she had worked out most of her issues in therapy …
not to mention years’ worth of long conversations with Drew and Mason.
But never during those conversations did it occur to her that her solitude, and not just that but her joy and comfort in solitude would be rattled.
Was it Jade? Was being on this journey alone scarier than anticipated?
Was this like a panic crush right before the inevitable?
On the way to the parking lot, Lucy stuffed her hands into her pockets – bless the designers who finally added pockets to dresses – to keep from brushing herself against Jade. But her hand kept inching out, apparently with a mind of its own, wanting to touch her.
Situated in Betty Yellow, Lucy pulled the truck out of the parking lot and down Main Ave. She didn’t want the night to end, but she needed it to end. Time alone to process would help provide clarity as to why she so badly didn’t want the evening to end.
Jade cracked the window and glanced at Lucy. ‘You ready to take the shot on your own?’
‘Um, yep.’ Darn her shaky voice.
‘If you want, I could be there for moral support. And if you can’t do it, I can stick it in.’ Jade chuckled. ‘That sounds terrible.’
Lucy’s face flushed with relief. ‘If you wouldn’t mind, or … if you don’t have anywhere else to be.’
Jade laid her hand gently on Lucy’s knee.
The warmth spread up Lucy’s thigh and down to her toes, leaving a delicious, heated imprint.
‘There’s nowhere else I want to be.’