Chapter 24 Lucy
Lucy
Lucy unwrapped a hefty Reuben with dripping sauerkraut and spicy mustard, and bit into the squishy sandwich.
She thought last week at the movie theatre nothing could beat the hot dog, but she was wrong because this was freaking delicious.
Oh, it felt so good to like food again. Swollen ankles be damned.
This sodium sandwich was hitting every spot.
‘You are a god among men.’ She chewed some more, barely noticing that Drew had cracked open the window to take gulps of fresh air.
‘God, sauerkraut smells like—’
‘Ass?’ She giggled.
‘I was going to say rotten garbage.’ He took a bite of his club and wiped his mouth. ‘I’m glad to see your vulgar ways haven’t changed even while knocked up.’
She couldn’t believe she’d tipped over the halfway mark.
Since the nausea left, minus some muscle cramping, she’d been feeling good.
Per her doctor, she’d downed coconut water for the cramping.
But holy hell, she had to get up almost five times a night to go to the bathroom. That had to be why she was so tired.
‘You know what I was just thinking about?’ Drew sipped his sparkling water. ‘Do you need to check with Jade and see if she’s cool with me seeing your vag when you’re popping out the baby?’
Lucy grabbed a napkin. ‘Why would I check with her? She may own a tabby, but she doesn’t own this kitty.’
Drew winced. ‘Does she have a cat?’
‘No, but I thought the joke would land better if she did.’ She snorted. ‘Did it land?’
‘It landed like a toddler flying a Boeing 747.’ He dug a napkin out of the bag. ‘So, Mason and I talked, and we should probably see if we have to revise any legal paperwork.’
‘Revise?’ Lucy pushed the food to the side of her mouth so she could talk around it. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean, you signed a million documents saying you were single, and that if something horrible happens, your dad is the one to make any medical decisions on your behalf.’
‘Ah.’ She pulled a dangling piece of sauerkraut from the sandwich and tossed it in the paper bag. ‘I mean, the medical decisions should still be up to my dad. But, yeah … paperwork.’
It hadn’t occurred to her until now that she should revisit the paperwork.
Lucy loved being in a relationship with Jade.
As her first real, true partner, she wasn’t sure what to expect.
But so far, things were easy, simple, and mostly fun.
Having never connected with anyone like this, Lucy was navigating fresh waters and learning as she went.
Sometimes, though, Lucy felt like she did so much talking that Jade knew her better than she knew Jade. Their conversations were a delicate balance between Lucy asking questions, and respecting Jade’s quieter nature by not prying.
‘You’re not single anymore.’
‘Thank you for that update, Captain Obvious.’ She saluted him. ‘What constitutes being together enough where you have to file paperwork?’
Drew shrugged. ‘I think that’s something you have to define with Jade. Maybe talk to her and see what she thinks?’
A groan was on the tip of Lucy’s tongue, but she refrained. Was talking to Jade about paperwork a good idea? Nothing like putting an extra stress on a new relationship by bringing up super unsexy paperwork.
Drew’s eyes folded in concern. ‘What’s the matter?’
Lucy finished the last bite of sandwich and wiped her hands.
‘We haven’t said I love you yet.’ Was that weird?
They’d been together for a little over four months.
She’d met Jade in late summer, and now they were headed towards spring.
They’d talked about future-ish plans, like splurging and going to Italy in the fall.
But things like moving in together, or buying a house, or saying I love you, were totally out of the picture.
Drew narrowed his eyes. ‘For real? Like U-Hauling is straight up part of the lesbian culture.’
She rolled her eyes. ‘Not all lesbians U-Haul, jerk. Stereotype much? I think, well, we’re taking it slow.’
‘Why haven’t you said it?’ Drew sat back and crossed his arms as several long pauses followed. ‘You do love her, right?’
I think so? Wait, no, yes, she did. She was sure. Okay, almost sure.
Drew would never understand. He was the kindest, most gracious human, who told everyone he was close with how much he loved them. He ended phone calls to his family with ‘I love you. Bye’. He told Mason he loved him after like two minutes and was sincere.
Whereas Lucy? She’d never been in love before.
This connection, this need to be physically near someone beyond just the sex part, was foreign.
She never missed hugs and kisses from partners when they left, or counted the minutes until they could snuggle and laugh together again.
She always wished exes well, of course, and hoped they were happy.
But she always felt separate from them, like Lucy could never match their happiness.
But with Jade, it was different. When Jade was happy, Lucy felt those same flushed feelings. When she was sad, Lucy wanted to cry.
Of course, she also liked her routine and her space. And if she really loved Jade, wouldn’t that mean that she’d want Jade with her every single moment?
Maybe she didn’t know what love was.
What she knew was, when Jade was at her own home, Lucy went to bed thinking of her. When she woke up, she missed Jade’s warm body.
Lucy did worry about how much of her clingier feelings were because of the pregnancy.
If she didn’t have all these extra hormones making her squirrely and emotional, would she still want Jade just as badly?
Pregnancy brain was a real thing, and what if everything changed after this journey was over?
Ninety per cent of their conversations surrounded pregnancy, birth, stretches, body aches, or laugh/crying when Lucy’s inability to see her own nether-regions for a safe shave forced her to resort to waxing, which she determined was only one step down in pain from childbirth itself.
Drew jiggled the ice in his cup. ‘How often do you guys sleep overnight with each other?’
‘Lately it’s been more. But before that, maybe one or two nights a week?’
‘Are you serious? That’s it? Mason and I were living together by this point.’ He exhaled through his nose. ‘I’m sure I’m being paranoid. I just don’t want anything to get messed up, or if the courts got involved or something …’
Drew was being paranoid. Most likely. Tapping into the logical side of her brain, Lucy knew Jade wouldn’t try to interfere with medical decisions or kidnap a newborn.
‘It’s a ton of pressure on a new relationship,’ Lucy said quietly.
‘It’s not that new.’
He had a point. But a few times, the relationship had felt …
under pressure. Like a weighted blanket had inched over them, and not in a positive way.
Jade sometimes seemed to tiptoe away, like she was eyeing their relationship from a close distance.
She clammed up when talking or switched subjects to turn the spotlight on Lucy.
Admittedly, Lucy had no idea what it was like to be divorced, and the trauma that may stem from ending an important relationship.
But Jade refused to talk much about her ex, so Lucy stopped asking.
Maybe Jade held back at times, but Lucy wasn’t completely innocent, either. Giving so much of yourself was scary as heck. Even though Jade had reluctantly accepted a pregnant Lucy, what was going to happen when she wasn’t pregnant anymore? Would Jade want to be with Just Lucy?
Ugh. Lucy needed to stop the cyclone of thoughts.
She took a sip of root beer and adjusted the car vents to lower the heat.
‘Whoa.’ She slapped Drew on the arm. That gurgly thump was not indigestion.
It was a definite, miniature, hi-ya!-style kick.
‘Drew, holy cannoli … I think your baby just kicked.’
‘What!’ His hand whipped to her belly.
‘Dude! Wipe your hands. I have to go back to work and I don’t want greasy mitt stains everywhere.’
‘Sorry, sorry, oh my God.’ He slapped a napkin across his hands, then laid both palms on her belly.
Nothing.
His gaze flickered between Lucy’s eyes and her stomach. ‘Should I FaceTime Mason?’
‘I don’t think you have to whisper.’ Come on, little one. Give your dad a kick. Drew was not blinking, not breathing, and his heart was going to stop if this little guy didn’t do something. She poked the side of her belly but was met with nothing.
‘Can you make her do it again?’
The pleading in his voice was for the record books. ‘Her?’ Lucy raised her eyebrows. ‘Wishful thinking for next week’s ultrasound?’
‘I feel it in my bones. I just know it’s a girl.’ He jiggled her belly and waited. And waited some more.
She took another sip of ice-cold root beer. A few seconds later … pow!
‘Ah. Oh my God … I felt it.’ Drew’s hands pressed more firmly into her belly, his mouth frozen in an open-mouthed smile. ‘Oh shit, Luce. This is real. This is the realest of real.’
When Lucy was younger, she phased through a solid crush on Sigourney Weaver and snuck movies she had no business watching when her dad was at work.
The scene in Aliens, where the beast ripped from the dude’s belly, didn’t quite feel like this.
But it definitely felt like she’d swallowed a fish that was now moving around inside, banging into her belly aquarium walls.
Lucy’s body had morphed before her eyes. Her nipples were bigger, darker, her boobs were Eighties porn star status. Even her feet had grown a whole size. She’d expected change, of course, but not this much change.
After Drew guided her out of his vehicle and slung an elbow out for her to grip, he escorted her up the sidewalk to her building.
‘Do you think my vagina is going to get all mangled during childbirth?’
He scrunched his nose. ‘No! I mean, I guess, I don’t think so? Is that a common thing?’
Was it a common thing? Maybe, in this case, she should do a little research: will the boobs shrink, will the vagina return to a pre-push size, will the brain fog end? Will my girlfriend still want to be with me?
Enough.
She schlepped back into her office and shut the door, letting the moment flutter through her body. Today was a very, very big deal, and she wanted to celebrate with Jade.
She pulled out her phone.
Her dad answered. ‘Why are you calling during the workday?’
A smile crept across her face. ‘Hello to you, too.’
‘You know, back when I was working, you couldn’t just make personal calls whenever you saw fit.’
She eased herself into her chair. ‘Did you walk uphill both ways during the winter with Wonder Bread bags rubber-banded to your ankles so your socks didn’t get wet?’
A loud huff echoed through the receiver.
‘You think it’s funny, but that’s the original waterproof shoe and didn’t cost no more than the one-dollar loaf of bread it came with.
Nowadays, you all spend a hundred dollars to get a decent snow boot.
I didn’t even make a hundred dollars a week when I first started working.
’ The sound of water filling a glass was followed by several gulps. ‘What do you need? I’m a busy man.’
‘God, you’re cantankerous.’ She tucked the phone under her chin and fired up her computer. ‘I want to take Jade out for dinner after work, but I don’t want to leave Chucky. Can you come over and watch him?’
‘You know dogs can be by themselves, right?’
As if on cue, the familiar sound of Chucky trotting around echoed. Hah.
‘You’re already over there, aren’t you?’ she said, barely suppressing a smile.
‘You need to install a Ring camera,’ he said. ‘I could have been a dog-napper or murderer.’
‘How many hours are you there, exactly, during the day?’
‘I’ll never say. But I’ll tell you that your dog is fat and he’s not getting any more jerky sticks from me tonight, no matter how much he begs.’
If she could hug her dad through the phone, she would. ‘I love you.’
‘Ya, ya. You too, kid.’