Chapter 26 Lucy
Lucy
The room had a distinct, powerful sterile smell.
Bleach, metals, and antibacterial soap nestled among the electric wires and freshly washed cotton.
Even the first week of May’s special scents, which she’d always loved – blooming lilacs, fresh cut grass after a long winter, the budding of trees – were so acute they almost gave her a headache.
For the past few weeks, Lucy had considered contacting the government to see if her acute smelling powers could lead to a part-time gig as drug-sniffing human, until she realised sniffing drugs was definitely not recommended during pregnancy.
With this new pregnancy superpower, cleaning supplies weren’t the only thing reaching her nose.
Drew’s cologne and deodorant – a definite man smell she was not loving at the moment – permeated the space.
She shifted the pillow under her neck and scooted up.
At almost twenty-six weeks along, this proved to be more of a challenge than it had been just weeks ago.
Her bestie, who resorted to chewing his fingernails like he did back in grade school, looked on the verge of passing out. ‘Don’t be all weird now,’ she said. ‘You’re the one who knocked me up.’
‘Technically, it was the doctor, a bunch of tools, and Mason’s swimmers.’ He dropped his pinky from his mouth. ‘But I get what you’re saying.’
Someone rapped on the door, and a nurse poked her head in. ‘The other father is here. Making sure he can come in while we wait for the doctor.’
‘Yes, yes, of course.’ Lucy adjusted her cotton gown. ‘Let’s be like John Stamos, the Olson twins, and the guy who allegedly did Alanis Morissette dirty, and get a Full House up in here.’
Drew shook his head, an extraordinarily pained look flashing across his face.
‘That didn’t land, did it?’ she whispered.
He squeezed her shoulder. ‘It never does.’
A moment later, the door flew open. ‘So sorry I’m late. I can’t believe I’m late.’ A crease sliced across Mason’s forehead, a rarity on his usual stoic face. ‘I had to park on the fifth floor, and they were down to one elevator.’
‘No worries.’ Drew hugged him. ‘The doc isn’t even here yet.’
Mason glanced around the room. ‘Where’s Jade?’
Who knows? Lucy wasn’t sure where Jade was, other than not here.
In fact, lately, Jade had been more absent than present.
She hadn’t slept over in a week and had cancelled plans multiple times saying she was working late.
Even when she did show up, it felt like she was trying to find an excuse to duck out early.
Maybe Lucy tossed and turned too much at night, and Jade was too polite to say anything? The interrupted sleep sucked for her, so she could only image it sucked for Jade too. But they hadn’t had sex for well over a week and Lucy was getting itchy.
‘Uh, Jade had some clients that couldn’t reschedule, and she felt bad cancelling.
’ Ugh. Why lie? She’d never lied to her friends before, minus the one time she said Drew’s skinny jeans looked good.
Lying was a cardinal sin, a one-way ticket to devil-land per her childhood teachings.
But in this case, it was necessary. Lucy refused to ruin this moment by going anywhere negative.
The men, thankfully, seemed distracted, and the doctor entered the room at the perfect time.
‘Hey there, family. Big day today.’ The doctor snapped on gloves. ‘Are you ready to see how much your baby has progressed?’
‘Yes, we’re so excited.’ Drew’s voice was an octave higher than usual, and he cleared his throat. ‘I know we were on the fence before, but Mason and I decided we want to know the baby’s sex.’
‘Sounds good.’ The doctor faced Lucy. ‘How about you. Feeling good? You ready for this?’
The level of dissociation was for the record books. Lucy was ready, but it wasn’t to view the cells forming in her stomach – it was to watch the fathers’ reaction to seeing their baby.
Was she curious to find out if the kid had sprung an extra limb or something?
Sure. But other than that, observing a floating blob with a head was not what she considered a good time.
She thought by now, she’d think differently, or even perhaps grow some sort of attachment – maybe even a fondness – to the foetus.
But no, nothing. Chucky would always be her one and only child.
After the doctor explained what to expect from the sonogram, she lifted Lucy’s shirt. Poor Mason was looking everywhere but her naked belly. ‘Mason. You can totally look at my stomach,’ Lucy said. ‘I mean, we’ve gone swimming like a gazillion times.’
‘True.’ Mason glanced down to her stomach, his eyes morphing into a cartoon-wide bulge. ‘Wow. You got huge!’
‘I retract my invite,’ she said with a groan, but wished she could snap a photo of the sudden, beautiful light in his eyes.
‘Sorry, sorry.’ Mason held up his hands. ‘It’s just amazing, you know?’
Cold gel blopped on her stomach, and the wand travelled up her belly.
And, well, there it was. Floating around on the screen was a profile of a half-shaped human with a belly, head, ears, hands, and maybe toes? She squinted, gave up defining body parts and waited, again, to feel something.
Nope.
Until she looked at the dads.
Mason, sweet old statuesque Mason, pulled his lips into his mouth and gripped Drew’s hands so tight that Lucy could see Drew’s fingers turn white. ‘That’s our baby …’ His voice quivered.
Drew blinked at the image, taking a step closer to the screen. He ran his hand down his cheek as Mason stood firmly at his side, rubbing his back. ‘Is everything … ah … normal? Good?’
The doctor smiled. ‘Everything is looking good. We’ll check for spine, bladder, heart, kidneys, limbs …’ She rattled off more as Lucy’s mind wandered.
Drew and Mason were solid. They’d been like this since Day One, never faltering in their feelings, never questioning where they stood.
Lucy had met Jade nearly seven months ago, standing in the grocery store aisle looking like a goddess and swearing at the vacant sriracha shelf.
She loved being with Jade. She adored Jade.
But she hated the way her heart tugged and shifted.
Oh, no. Had the magic from the beginning disappeared?
Right now, Lucy wished she was feeling towards Jade what Drew and Mason felt towards each other.
‘Ready?’ the doctor asked. When the men nodded, she continued. ‘You are having a … baby girl. Congratulations.’
Drew and Mason yelped. Lucy was unsure of who had yelped louder. He hugged Mason hard, as Mason buried his face in Drew’s shoulder. ‘We were hoping for a girl. We, of course, wanted the baby to be healthy and would love them no matter what … but a girl!’
The joy from the men filled Lucy, and she wanted to savour this moment for eternity.
The doctor wiped Lucy’s belly with a towel. ‘Any questions?’
Oh no … Pandora’s box had been opened. As the men peppered her with questions – like, how do the baby’s kidneys compare to others, how much would she weigh at birth, did her brain activity look normal – Lucy noted all the things she wanted to ask her dad.
Was this how her dad acted with her mom?
Was he even in the room during any of the ultrasounds?
She ached, wishing her mom was here to hold her hand, share her own pregnancy story, and maybe add in a small joke about her dad.
And dammit, she really wished Jade was here, sharing this moment.
***
‘Did you eat chicken pot pie for dinner last night? Did you remember to make your yearly doctor’s appointment? And did you see that they have yet another new Jeopardy! host?’ Lucy chatted with her dad as she sat in her car in the parking lot outside the radiology department.
‘Why are you calling me during the day?’
‘I took the afternoon off.’ She leaned her head back into the car seat. ‘Explain to me something. How was it snowing less than two weeks ago, and now it’s sixty and sunny. My brain can’t comprehend that I’m looking at snow while wearing a sundress.’
‘I’ll tell ya, the farmers are none too happy about this. We needed more snowfall for the moisture. We don’t need no drought comin’ in like last year.’ She could hear him slump in a chair and crack open a can. ‘What do you need?’
Lucy needed so bad to hear something, anything, about her mom, and she needed her dad not to clam up. She needed Jade to be here, not wherever the hell she was, and for someone to hug her and assure her that everything would be okay.
‘Well, shit. Are you crying?’ Her dad’s tone was much softer than the words.
She sniffled. ‘It’s just hormones. I’m fine.’
A long pause followed. ‘Wasn’t today some big day for you all? You got to find out if you’re having a pink or blue.’
She grinned but bit her tongue. Explaining to her dad that the baby’s sex did not equal a colour would do zero good. Well, she knew what he meant. ‘When Mom, um, had me, did you find out my sex ahead of time?’
She tossed the question out softly, so that he could give a gruff yes or no if that’s all he wanted to share, and they could move on. She listened to him take a long pull of his pop, and then heard the ting of the can as he set it on the table.
‘Your mom was a nervous wreck. She wanted a kid so dang bad. A girl. She wanted to dress the kid up in ballerina shit and God knows what else.’
Lucy waited, begging, praying, hoping he’d say more. A moment passed, then two. She was about to change the subject when he started talking again.
‘And you know, I was just wonderin’ how many toes you had. I didn’t care much even if you had eleven toes. I just wanted to see with my eyes that, you know, all things were good.’
So many moments passed, she thought for sure this time he was done.
Then he took a breath. ‘So, we looked at the machine, and I’ll tell ya. I was so damn relieved. The doctor said you were healthy, and all your insides were the way they should be, and I just remember being able to breathe after that, knowing you seemed good.’
Lucy tugged on her lower lip, refusing to let herself cry with this backstory goldmine. ‘Thanks, Dad, I really needed this.’
‘All righty then.’
The phone clicked off, and she held it to her chest. Her lips trembled and she replayed his words.
She lifted the phone and hovered her thumbs over the screen.
Why was she contemplating not texting Jade?
Seemed odd for people in a committed relationship, right?
Of course she should message her, or call her, and give an update.
Lucy dialled. Straight to voicemail. Must be with a client. She flexed her thumbs.
Lucy: Had the ultrasound. Want to guess what’s behind door number one?
Three bubbles popped up. Then stopped. Then popped. Then stopped. Lucy waited. Three minutes. Six, ten. At the twelve-minute mark, she started the car and drove home.