Chapter 29 Jade
Jade
Jade stared at the screen of her phone with the same hesitation she’d felt these last two weeks.
She and Lucy did not have a co-dependent relationship, which she valued.
But at this point, their relationship was on the extreme end of the non-co-dependent side and had crossed the line into full-on avoidance.
For the past two weeks, since the incident outside Drew and Mason’s place, they’d seen each other only a handful of times, skipping dinner dates because one of them was tired, or working late, or sifting through piled-up paperwork.
Jade knew it was bullshit, and Lucy most certainly did, too. But neither one called it out.
As the sound of the salon springing to life echoed behind her closed office door, Jade’s fingers lingered over the screen. She took a deep breath.
Jade: Have a great day at work!
Good God. Could the message be any more impersonal? If she swapped the exclamation with a period, it would fall directly into the ‘friends-only’ category.
Jade had zero doubt that she wanted to be with Lucy.
But just because she wanted to be with Lucy didn’t mean that was the healthiest choice.
A future existed, she was pretty sure, and in ten more weeks they could figure out what that future looked like.
Until then, these sterile messages would need to keep them afloat.
Lucy: You too!
Yep, like clockwork. This sad little message string summed up the last fourteen days of their relationship.
Jade had let go of her jealousy over the attention the media had showered on Lucy, who at this point was probably in the running for People magazine’s next cover.
The sting of her nomination being overshadowed by Lucy had faded, and she’d genuinely loved watching Lucy get interviewed by the morning show.
The world saw Lucy’s charming, selfless self, and during the interview, Jade wanted to scream her pride at being with such an amazing woman.
But when Lucy said that Jade wasn’t interested in her world, and she wasn’t considered as a partner in the birth, Jade’s heart cracked. Did Lucy think Jade was unreliable? Unstable? Or maybe this was Lucy’s way of showing she wasn’t as invested in their relationship.
Jade reached into her mini fridge for oat milk creamer, added it to her coffee, and stirred.
After pulling in a hefty, earthy sip, she leaned back and focused on the ceiling tiles.
Besides the moment she’d first learned about Lucy’s plan to get pregnant, Jade had supported Lucy.
Choosing to be in a relationship with a pregnant woman should have demonstrated Jade’s level of investment, right?
But an obvious disconnect existed, and as much as Jade hated it, she had to confront it.
‘Screw it.’ She grabbed her phone and punched out a message before she lost her nerve.
Jade: I think we need to talk tonight.
Her pulse pounded in her neck as the three bubbles appeared.
Lucy: Ok.
Oof. Well, Jade had ripped the proverbial band-aid. Just like she’d done with Shayna.
Tonight, she and Lucy needed the mother of all heart-to-hearts to make sure they were on the same page, which required some vulnerability from Jade. She hated opening up. But Lucy was worth it, their relationship was worth it, and it was time.
Three clients later, Jade rinsed out the bleach bowl in the back room and flopped on a chair.
She pushed her fist into her chin to crack her neck and let out a deep exhale along with the satisfying pops.
Nerves over the impending conversation with Lucy had burrowed into her cells, and Jade bounced out of the chair and started organising backstock.
Too bad her next client had cancelled, because now she had an hour to sit here and stew without the distraction of a complicated balayage.
The back-room door flung open, and Amanda gripped her hand against the door frame. ‘Hey, lady, you have a visitor.’
Jade’s eyebrows twitched. ‘Lucy?’ She checked her watch. It was around her lunch time, but she rarely made surprise visits.
Amanda shook her head, her Afro puff bouncing with the movement. ‘Nope. Not sure who she is. Didn’t give a name and I don’t recognise her as a client.’
The phone rang and Amanda scooted away.
Jade washed her hands, balled the paper towel into the trash, and moved up front. Rounding the corner, her footsteps halted before her brain could process the scene.
Standing in the salon entryway, next to the blur of shampoo bottles and take-home conditioning treatments, was Elizabeth. And a baby.
Ringing filled Jade’s ears, and the lights seemed to dim.
What in God’s name was Elizabeth doing here?
With a kid? The moisture in Jade’s mouth evaporated on the spot, leaving her tongue heavy and raw.
She pulled in a breath, withheld a few choice words since it was her place of business, after all, and marched up front. ‘What are you doing here?’
Jade’s tone was sharp. Her look even sharper.
But her insides were anything but. Here was a woman Jade loved for years.
Committed her life to, and – in the beginning at least – she just knew that they’d grow old together and be that couple that died days apart from each other because they couldn’t bear the idea of not being with the other person.
Elizabeth looked both the same and different.
The blond pixie cut she’d been wearing for years remained untouched.
Jade recognised the dark denim jean jacket.
A memory flashed of them buying matching ones, which was the first – and only – time they ever wore anything remotely similar.
Elizabeth was always a fan of power suits and sharp lines, whereas Jade was drawn to anything black and grunge.
But Elizabeth also looked different. The determined rigidity in her eyes was softer, and she had more lines creasing the edges.
Dark circles rimmed her lower eyes, and yet, she looked refreshed.
And it all suited her. Incredibly well. She bounced the baby in the front backpack thing strapped to her chest, and her hands patted the outside of the carrier.
‘Hey, Jade.’ Her voice was sheepish, quiet, and an atypical blush rose to her cheeks. Which for some unknown reason got Jade right in the heart. ‘Can we talk?’
Nope. She peeked at Amanda, who was doing a terrible job pretending to type on the computer. Jade’s face burned so hot she was sure she might pass out. ‘Uh, sure. Yeah. Outside?’
She didn’t wait for an answer and moved to the door, holding it open for her ex. A vacant city park bench provided the spot. Jade sat at the farthest edge and scratched the back of her neck. Elizabeth dug a pacifier from her diaper bag and clipped it to the side of the carrier.
Neither said a word. For way too many moments.
‘How did you get a kid so fast?’ Jade cut the excruciating silence, even though there was so much more to say.
Elizabeth popped the pacifier into the baby’s mouth.
‘Funny how things work out, huh? I’d been waiting for so long.
A birth mom changed her mind last minute and selected me instead of a different family after an icky interaction with the dad.
We met a few times and clicked, and well … she chose me.’
Jade peeked at the baby, at the smattering of black wispy hair poking out on its head, at the brown eyes and deep black eyelashes flicking its round, chunky cheeks.
She waited to feel something. She didn’t.
‘The kid’s cute.’ Jade was officially at a loss for words, and Elizabeth was being quiet and vague.
She needed to spit out the reason she was here, or leave.
Jade really couldn’t handle this. Not now, probably not ever.
She had a business to run, a girlfriend she needed to resync with, and probably some backstock that needed reordering.
‘I named her Jayden,’ Elizabeth said with a smile, while focusing on the baby’s head.
Jayden? Was she seriously naming the kid something that close to her own name? A sickly bubble rose in her throat. ‘Why the hell would you do that?’
Elizabeth’s eyes grew wide, then narrowed. Then, her mouth cracked, and she laughed. ‘Jesus Christ, your face. My God. I’m just kidding, but that reaction was priceless. Her name is Amber. Thank you very much.’
Against her better intentions, Jade let out a giggle. ‘God, don’t do that to me.’ She slapped her hand against her heart. The baby fussed and Elizabeth bounced her knee.
‘Why are you here, Liz?’
Elizabeth slowed her rocking and straightened her shoulders. ‘I’m visiting my brother. He moved to Minneapolis, if you can believe it. Took a job at Target headquarters.’
‘Wow. Good for him.’ Jade could hardly believe it.
Elizabeth’s brother had talked about doing this very thing for over a decade.
After declaring that half his paycheque went to the store anyway, he told everyone he wanted to leave Chicago to work at Target.
He’d been saying that since Jade met the guy.
Wow … so he made the leap. Good for him.
When she and Elizabeth divorced, Jade cut off contact with Elizabeth’s family. But every now and then, she missed her former in-laws. She couldn’t help but feel a little proud that her former brother-in-law had finally got up the nerve to follow his dreams.
Time was dragging by at glacier-speed, and Jade needed to move this along.
Being next to Elizabeth, Jade’s insides were tightening, moment by moment, and she didn’t like it.
There was a pressure in the air, like clouds rolling in during a bright summer day, and you weren’t sure if they were going to turn into a vicious storm, or a needed rain reprieve.
Jade folded her arms and strummed her fingers against her skin.
‘Look. I don’t mean to sound like a total dick, but what do you want? ’
Elizabeth’s eyes shifted, and she patted the baby. She opened her mouth, closed it, and opened it again. ‘I miss you. And … I should have never let you go.’
Jade’s heart leapt.
Well, shit.