Chapter 9 #2
“Alexa, what’s your problem?” I asked, turning to face her when she breezed past me.
This wasn’t the first incident where she’d ignored me.
The first time was at Nadir’s rooftop cookout at his apartment.
I let it slide because I was having a good time celebrating my friend and his new place.
However, on this day, Nadir wasn’t around to stop me from checking her.
She stopped in her tracks, eyes shooting daggers as she said, “You are my problem. Every time I turn around, you’re in Nadir’s face. You look thirsty and desperate.”
People stared as they passed. It was then that I realized our voices were louder than necessary.
I pursed my lips then stepped closer to her. “You are the one who’s thirsty and desperate for drama. I’ve been nothing but nice to you. Trust me, you don’t have to worry about me taking your man.”
That jeer felt good because he’d just started seeing someone else a week prior.
She kissed her teeth. “Yeah. That’s what they all say.”
“I really don’t have a problem with you, Alexa. I want us to at least be cordial, for Nadir’s sake.”
“Whatever, Robyn.” Alexa rolled her eyes and walked away.
The next day Nadir told me they’d gotten into a heated argument which led to them breaking up.
I already knew what it was about, so I didn’t bother pressing for details.
I could’ve told him my side of our spat in the parking lot, but that wouldn’t have helped anything.
The whole situation was super immature and didn’t deserve any more energy.
Nadir pulled me into his side, snapping me from my thoughts. The gesture was so natural that it almost made me forget what had just happened. He stared down at me with one eyebrow raised. I looked away, unable to withstand his heated gaze.
“This the band Q came to see,” Adrienne said, grabbing both of our attention.
We moved closer to the stage, bobbing our heads to the alt-soul band currently performing. Nadir stood behind me, so close that I could feel his body heat on my back. I closed the little space between us and sighed.
“Goldie, get out of your feelings,” he said into my ear.
“I’m not in my feelings.”
“Why aren’t you dancing with me then?”
It was then that I realized the band was playing a cover of Sade’s “Sweetest Taboo,” and everyone was moving to the music.
The crowd swayed and some couples slow danced.
Nadir’s hand rested on my stomach as we did a slow sway to the song.
I placed my hand over his, inhaling deeply when he hummed.
The sound of him hit me right between my legs.
I hated how much I enjoyed being in his arms, the comforting smell of his cologne, the soft caress of his nose against my ear.
This was the part of being in a relationship that I’d missed, affection.
Before I got too caught up in this feeling, the song ended and so did our dance.
“Hey, sweetie. Welcome to My Place.”
I smiled at the hostess then shared the details of my reservation.
She checked their reservation binder for my name, then waved for me to follow her.
I loved My Place. It was a southern-inspired brunch restaurant with some of the best food I’d ever tasted and it had character.
The recipes used were the owner's great grandmother’s.
This wasn’t your typical chicken and waffle spot.
Every dish on the menu—I’d tried everything —was delicious and made with love.Their staff wore white-collared shirts with either a vest or apron in the nicest emerald color.
The bar was the centerpiece of the restaurant in the pit.
High top tables surrounded the bar and on the upper level was a mix of booths and tables.
Dark walls were illuminated by gold lights and oldies music played softly.
Shortly after being seated, the waitress came over and introduced herself. “What can I get you? Or do you want to wait for the other member of your party?”
I shook my head. “I’ll take a sweet tea, a half and half with more tea than lemonade, and an order of the honey old bay wings.”
Without another word, the waitress left.
The longer I waited for Nadir, the tighter my stomach twisted.
The playlist he made me had been in rotation nonstop.
Each song raised a question and unearthed feelings I wasn't ready to address. Nadir was my best friend. If he wanted something romantic between us, I’d risk ruining us.
I was in no position to be in a serious relationship.
It took some time, but I was finally in my selfish era.
And I wasn’t entirely ready to let that go.
“My apologies, G,” Nadir said, pulling me into a side hug. “Delivery came later than expected today and I got caught up in this budget for an upcoming meeting.”
“You’re fine. I wasn’t waiting long.”
I watched him remove his hoodie then sit across from me. Underneath his olive hoodie was a white T-shirt he paired with a pair of jeans and sneakers. He’d gotten a retwist styled into three-strand twists. My heart fluttered when I met his stare.
“I haven’t seen you since you got your retwist. Looks good,” I said with warm cheeks.
“’Preciate it.” His smile was so cute.
Exhaling, I pushed away the salacious thoughts in my mind.
“Did you order drinks already?” he asked while looking over the menu.
“I did. And I asked for more tea than lemonade, how you like it.”
Nadir smiled. “You treat me so well.”
“Just reciprocating how well you treat me.”
He placed the menu down and leaned in. “Robyn, are you flirting with me?”
Butterflies filled my belly as I met him at the center of the table. The glimmer of amusement in his eyes made tsunami-level heat wash over me.
“No.” I fought back a smile.
“Right.”
“What meeting are you preparing for?”
“Just my uncle coming to town to piss me off. Nothing worth mentioning. What’s new with you?”
The waitress returned with our drinks, briefly interrupting us. Since we came here a few times a month, we ordered our usuals. The soup of the day and their collard Caesar with salmon for me and Nadir ordered the bacon and egg croissant casserole and with side of hash browns.
Once alone, we jumped back into our conversation. I didn’t have anything exciting happening aside from my test. Instead of agonizing about it, I'd put that energy into my restaurant opening. While I listed all my to-do items, the server placed our wings on the table.
“Sounds like a good plan to me. How you feelin’, though? Anything I can do to keep you on track?”
I picked up a wing while shaking my head. “Meeting me for our weekly outing as planned is enough.”
“That’s light work.” Nadir bit into a wing, his eyes lowered and his eyebrows wrinkled. After swallowing, he wiped his mouth. “You know what your problem is?”
I placed my hand on my chest. “I have a problem?”
He nodded fervently. “Yeah, you want the world but won’t accept it from the person who's willing to give it to you.”
“Nadir.”
“Tell me I'm lying.” The look of defiance on his face made me laugh.
“I don’t have a straight answer for that.”
“Never do.”
I rolled my eyes, hating how much his words rang true.
My real issue was that I didn’t want to admit he’d been on my mind all week or that I replayed our moment in the mirror too many times.
Chills shot down my spine at just the thought of him calling me beautiful.
I’d never heard his voice get so deep and fill with so much hunger.
“My problem is that I’m not the only person you’re willing to give the world to.”
He sat back in his seat and smirked. “Who else is there?”
I bit my lip. “I don’t know. Whoever.”
Nadir didn’t take me seriously; he laughed it off.
“I must not be doing this best friend thing right because nobody is topping you.”
I held my breath. The weight of his words loomed between us.
“It’s not that, trust me,” I said after exhaling.
He smiled. “I know. But on a lighter note, I hope you know how proud I am of you. When things didn’t go as planned, you quickly but gracefully pivoted.
You juggled a lot with studying and moving forward with renovations and opening.
No matter the outcome of your test, I want you to celebrate how far you’ve come. You deserve it.”
My heart fluttered from his endearing words. “I... needed to hear that. Thank you.”
“Anytime.”
“In terms of my celebration...”
Nadir chuckled. “What do you want, Robyn?”
“I’ve had my eye on the Japanese whisky in your office.”
He sighed. “Alright.”
“If I pass, we’ll share a drink.” My pulse quickened at the thought of unfavorable results. I couldn’t handle another failure so soon.
Nadir reached across the table for me. My stomach knotted at the feeling of his hands on mine. He caressed my palm then held my wrist. Goosebumps covered my skin as he dragged his thumb across my chef’s hat tattoo. “When you pass,” he said, prompting me to look him in the eyes. “Say it.”
“When I pass, we’ll share a drink.”
He released me and smiled. “I look forward to it.”
“I’m what you need,” I sang along with The Weeknd.
Very clever.
Nadir knew what he was doing by adding this song to the playlist. This was a shot at Joseph and me.
I wanted Joseph because he was the safe choice.
He filled the spaces Terrance once occupied without much effort.
He was caring, attentive, open, and honest, at first. Over time, I focused more on myself and he fell back.
Dates became an afterthought and text conversations went stale after a day.
Obviously he’d used our distance to explore his options.
If he'd found someone who had time for him, that was where he needed to be. After coming to that realization, I knew what I needed to do, but it wasn’t what I wanted to do.
I struggled with making an unselfish choice.