Chapter 18 Solana
Chapter eighteen
Solana
My legs are still shaking as I finish washing the last dish, the warm water running over my hands doing nothing to calm the trembling in my limbs.
Everything feels hypersensitive now, like my whole body has been rewired in the span of twenty minutes.
Everything feels too rough against my oversensitive skin, and I'm acutely aware of every place the fabric of my dress touches my body.
I can't stop thinking about what just happened.
About the way Dustin looked at me like I was something precious while he was on his knees between my legs.
About how Kade watched with such intensity, directing every movement while his voice washed over me in waves of approval and praise.
About the feeling of Dustin's mouth on me, the explosion of pleasure that tore through my body with an intensity I didn't know was possible.
They made me feel like I had given them a gift rather than the other way around.
Like my pleasure was something they craved, something they wanted to provide without expecting anything in return.
The concept is so foreign to everything I learned at Harmony House that my brain keeps trying to reject it, insisting there must be a catch somewhere.
But there wasn't. They asked for nothing. Just gave and gave until I fell apart on Dustin's tongue while Kade praised me for being good.
Setting the last dish in the drying rack, I dry my hands slowly and look around the kitchen.
Kade disappeared into his office a few minutes ago, mentioning something about paperwork.
Dustin is somewhere in the house, probably changing since his shirt was soaked with sweat and other things I'm trying not to think about too hard.
The house feels too small suddenly, the walls pressing in despite how much bigger it is than where I came from. I need space. I need air. I need to clear my head before I spiral into overthinking everything that just happened and convincing myself it was too good to be true.
Making my way to the back door, I slip outside into the late morning sun. The warmth hits my skin immediately, making me squint as my eyes adjust to the brightness.
I kick off my shoes by the door, leaving them in a pile on the porch.
The moment my bare feet touch the grass, something in my chest loosens.
When was the last time I felt grass beneath my feet?
Years. It has to be years because Harmony House didn't have grass, just concrete courtyards and sterile hallways.
Taking another step, then another, I walk further into the yard. Each blade of grass against my skin reminds me that I'm here, that I'm real, that this is actually happening and not some elaborate dream I'll wake up from to find myself back in that gray isolation room.
The ranch stretches out in front of me, acres of land dotted with fences and fields. Everything looks so alive out here, so vibrant compared to the muted colors and artificial lighting I've gotten used to.
I hear footsteps behind me and turn to see Dustin jogging out of the house, his dimples on full display as he grins at me. He's changed into a clean shirt, his hair slightly damp like he splashed water on his face. "Hey, sunshine. Where you headed?"
"Just exploring," I say, wiggling my toes in the grass. "I needed some air."
His expression softens as he looks down at my bare feet, something almost tender crossing his face. "Want some company? I can show you around properly if you want."
"I'd like that."
We walk together toward the barn, Dustin keeping pace with me even though I'm moving slowly, savoring every step on the grass.
He doesn't rush me or complain about how long it's taking.
He just walks beside me, occasionally pointing out different areas of the property and explaining what they're used for.
"That paddock over there is for the younger horses," he says, gesturing to the left.
"They need more space to run and play without the older ones getting irritated with their energy.
And over there is where we keep the feed.
Kade is particular about what the horses eat, making sure everything is high quality and properly stored. "
I absorb the information, filing it away even though I'm not sure why I'd need to know where the feed is kept. It just feels good to learn about this place and understand how it works.
We reach the barn and Dustin pulls open the large door, the smell of hay and horses and leather hitting me immediately. Several horses stick their heads over their stall doors, ears perked forward with curiosity as we enter.
"Alright, let's start with the introductions," Dustin says, walking toward the first stall on the left. "This is Buttercup. Don't let the name fool you—she's got an attitude."
The horse in question is pretty, with a cream-colored coat and an almost white mane and tail. She tosses her head when we approach, eyeing us with what I can only describe as skepticism. Dustin laughs and scratches her nose despite her obvious displeasure at being bothered.
"She doesn't like anyone except Kade," he explains. "Something about his energy calms her down. The rest of us are just tolerated."
Moving to the next stall, Dustin introduces me to a massive black horse named Goliath who lives up to his name in every way.
He's gentle though, lowering his head so I can pet his nose without having to reach up too high.
His eyes are kind, watching me with patient curiosity as I run my hand along his face.
"Goliath is our gentle giant," Dustin says fondly. "Nothing bothers him. You could probably set off fireworks in here and he'd just keep eating his hay."
We move through the barn slowly, Dustin introducing me to each horse individually.
There's a gray mare named Silver who immediately tries to nibble on my dress, making me squeal and jump back.
Dustin laughs and gently pushes her nose away, explaining that she's always looking for snacks and will try to eat anything that looks remotely edible.
There's a reddish-brown horse named Rusty who's apparently the barn clown, always getting into trouble and finding creative ways to open his stall door. A beautiful horse named Patches with brown and white patches across her coat, who's sweet and calm, perfect for beginners according to Dustin.
Each horse has a distinct personality, their own quirks and preferences.
Dustin knows them all intimately, talking about them like they're friends rather than livestock.
He explains how to read their body language, pointing out the difference between ears pinned back in aggression versus just annoyance.
It's a lot of information coming at me all at once, my brain struggling to keep up with everything he's saying.
But I love it. I love learning about these magnificent animals and seeing the passion in Dustin's eyes as he talks about them.
This is what he does, what he loves, and watching him in his element is mesmerizing.
We reach Thunder's stall last and he immediately perks up when he sees Dustin, whinnying softly in greeting.
Dustin grins and pulls open the stall door, gesturing for me to come inside.
I hesitate for just a moment before stepping in, suddenly very aware of how big Thunder is when I'm standing right next to him instead of on the other side of a stall door.
"He won't hurt you," Dustin promises, running his hand along Thunder's neck. "He's a big softie under all that muscle."
Thunder turns his attention to me, lowering his head to sniff at my dress. Then he starts nosing at my pocket, pushing his muzzle insistently against the fabric like he's searching for something. The sensation tickles and I can't help the laugh that bubbles up from my chest.
The sound startles me almost as much as it seems to startle Dustin. When was the last time I laughed like that? Months. Maybe longer. Harmony House didn't give us much to laugh about.
Dustin's responding grin could light up the whole barn. "He's looking for treats. I usually keep some carrots in my pocket for him, but I forgot them today. Sorry, buddy."
Thunder huffs in what seems like disappointment, his ears flicking back briefly before he returns to nosing at me. I reach up tentatively to stroke his neck, feeling the warmth of his coat and the solid muscle beneath.
"You want to learn how to groom him?" Dustin asks, already moving toward a box of supplies in the corner of the stall.
"Is that okay?" The question comes out as a force of habit, still not quite believing I'm allowed to just do things without explicit permission.
"Course it's okay. Thunder loves being pampered.
" Dustin returns with a brush and shows me how to hold it and how much pressure to apply as I move it across Thunder's coat in long, smooth strokes.
"Always go with the direction of the hair, never against it.
And be gentle around his face and legs. Those are more sensitive areas. "
I take the brush and start working on Thunder's shoulder, amazed at how the dirt and loose hair come away with each stroke.
Thunder stands perfectly still for me, occasionally turning his head to watch what I'm doing but never moving away or showing any sign of discomfort.
The repetitive motion is soothing, meditative almost, and I find myself relaxing into the task.
Dustin talks the whole time, explaining more than I could possibly retain about horse care and grooming techniques.
He shows me how to pick out Thunder's hooves, how to check for any injuries or irregularities in his coat, and how to tell if a horse is feeling off just by observing their behavior and body language.