8. You Don’t Deserve Breakfast
You Don’t Deserve Breakfast
Nick
That was a long day. I just want to take a shower, put on some sweats, and fall asleep during a Netflix binge, but as I walk up the stairs to my apartment, my hackles rise. Voices.
I’m not so completely socially awkward that I don’t like bumping into people, but up here, where I’m the only resident, and there’s no reason for anyone to be visiting, it has me on edge. I reach the top of the stairwell and freeze when I see Cara and fuckin’ Missy.
She’s still beautiful, so much so that it makes me uneasy.
‘What are you doing up here?’ I snap, and she smirks.
‘Hey, Nick, nice to see you.’
Cara’s cell starts to ring, and she holds it up, ‘I’m just going to…’ she doesn’t finish the sentence as she accepts the call and heads for the stairwell .
‘Missy, why are you outside my apartment?’
‘Your apartment?’ Her eyes widen, and I know for sure she didn’t know I lived here.
I raise my hand, dangling my keys from my finger. ‘Yes, my apartment. What are you here for?’
‘Um—’ She presses her lips together and I find myself curious at the expression on her face. ‘Well, I guess we’re about to be neighbors.’
‘What?’
She points to the door behind her. ‘I’m moving in.’
Shaking my head, I step forward. ‘You must have the wrong place — this one isn’t available.’
Mimicking my earlier move, she raises her hand up, dangling keys from her finger.
‘I know because that’s my apartment.’
My attention fixates on the keys in her hand and the beer bottle keychain that I’ve seen countless times before for longer than I mean it to.
‘Your apartment?’ Vocalizing my confusion, I bring my gaze to meet hers, and she nods. I think she senses something going on in me because she doesn’t sass me. Instead, she just nods.
‘Yeah, I own the apartment and the barbershop. I’m going to fix it all up and reopen the shop as my hair salon.’
‘You own the shop?’ She nods, yes, and I exhale sharply before turning on my heels and storming back the way I came.
My car is hardly in park when I jump out and storm across the front yard to bang on the door. It swings open, and the surprised look on my mom’s face stalls my fury a little.
‘Nicky, what are you doing, banging on the door like that?’
‘Where is he, Ma?’
‘Nick.’
‘Mama, where is he?’ I see the look of defeat, and the hope in her eyes that my being here brought disappears when she sees it’s not a happy visit. ‘Ma, I’m sorry.’ I lean in to kiss her cheek and give her a hug. ‘I need to talk to him.’
‘He’s out back.’
Heading through the house, I take some deep breaths to try and stem the flow of my hurt and anger. Then I see him sitting in his chair with a bottle of beer in his hand, and it all ramps up to a hundred .
‘You sold the shop,’ I call out as I approach, and he turns to look up at me.
‘Nicholas, what a pleasant surprise.’
‘Cut the crap, Dad. You sold it.’
‘I did, got an offer I couldn’t refuse.’
‘So, you sold it all without talking to me.’
‘Not all of it. You have your apartment, but the shop and the other place, yeah. I don’t have to talk to you about my business.'
I shake my head, unable to believe what I’m hearing.
'You going to give mom any of the money, or do you plan on drinking it all away?’
‘Watch your tone, Nick.’
‘I can’t believe you would do this. So much for the history and the Barber name — a nice fat paycheck made it all go away, huh?’
He stands now, and the little boy in me winces, so I take a step back.
‘You didn’t want it. You abandoned this family.’
‘No, I didn’t. I abandoned you .’
Silence descends between us as we stand, staring each other in the eye. I’m not a little boy anymore. I can stand up to him.
‘You’re a disappointment to this family.’
I laugh, unable to contain it. ‘You know, you’re the only father I know who would rather your child cut hair for a living than become a vet. I worked my ass off to get to where I am.’
‘Where you are is the same small town you were always meant to be in. You didn’t get anywhere.’ He sits again as though the conversation is over, but I’m not done.
‘I’m sorry he died instead of me. I know you would have preferred it the other way around. I was always a disappointment to you, but I hope you know that the feeling is mutual.’
Turning, I walk out of my parents’ backyard and head for my car. I need a drink.
Sitting at the bar, I scratch at the label on my bottle with my thumbnail. I wanted a drink, but I can’t really stomach it.
Growing up, I was taught that the Barber name meant everything. We are Barbers by name and occupation. My family has been cutting hair in Forest Falls for as long as Forest Falls has existed, and that shop has been ours for generations.
When I opened up the clinic right next door, I had all these dreams of working alongside my family, trying to prove something to my dad and to convince him to love me. I had this stupid idea that I could heal my family by showing him that we Barbers could do more than just cut hair, and I might finally make him proud, but that was stupid. As if he hadn’t already spent years making me feel less than shit on his shoe, when I left for college, my dad told me he would never forgive me for deserting the family business and our legacy, and if he hadn’t already made it clear, he was ashamed that I was his son.
Clint, my amazing big brother, loved cutting hair. He was happier in the shop than Dad ever was, and he couldn’t wait to take it on, but he got sick. His kidneys failed, and he was gone in what felt like a minute. Dad closed the shop, unable to face it without Clint, and the Barber legacy in Forest Falls died with my brother.
I wasn’t a match. I wanted so badly to be his donor, to save his life. Every day, I was saving the lives of countless animals, but I couldn’t save my own brother. As if he needed a reason, my dad resented me even more for that. It was another failure, another disappointment.
I should have gone. I should have left Forest Falls after the funeral and never looked back, but my mom had already lost one son, and I couldn’t do it to her.
I thought, despite it all, that with Clint gone, Dad would still leave the rest of the building to me. I’d started to think about extending the clinic into the shop, taking on another vet, and renting the other apartment to them. I’d already thought about talking to Doug to get it all fixed up.
Now it’s hers: Missy’s. Someone he doesn’t even know, someone who isn’t from Forest Falls. He probably took one look at her pretty brown eyes and just handed over the keys.
Seeing her at the top of the stairs earlier jarred me. I liked the way her hair was fixed in a high ponytail, her waves hanging down. I’ve never seen her looking so casual, as she’s always been in dresses and made-up when I’d seen her before. Today, in jeans and boots, just a little bit of makeup, and all bundled up against the winter in her coat and scarf, she looked adorable. It’s not even that cold today — just a little chill in the air, but it made me think she must like to be cozy. I picture her on the sofa with fluffy socks on her feet and a blanket over her legs, and I smile. Then I realize I’m picturing my sofa, and I stand in a rush. What the hell are you thinking, Nick?
I need to get some sleep. This day is frying my brain.
My feet pound against the cold, hard ground. The field I ran laps on for all my years at high school brings back memories with each step. School’s out for the weekend, so I found myself here on my morning run. I’ve run further today than usual, mostly out of frustration. For the past week, I’ve found myself drifting between thoughts of my dad to thoughts of Clint, to the things that piss me off about Missy, to the things I like about her. Annoyingly, there’s more to like than pisses me off, and that in itself drives me crazy.
She’s been at the apartment and the shop with Doug, her bright, sunshiny fucking demeanor annoying me as they loudly discuss their plans for the place. She’d brought me a coffee and breakfast sandwich from the diner, and she told me she asked Merv for my usual order to make sure it was perfect. Then, as she handed them over, she laid out exactly how much my life was about to be disrupted.
‘Doug said he’ll try to keep all the work to your usual business hours so you’re not home while he’s working, but it’ll get a little dusty, and the noise in the shop might affect you. He’ll try to minimize that, and he’s aiming for a quick turnaround.’
The way she bit into her red, painted bottom lip and gazed up at me like she was nervous about my reaction made me uncomfortable to be standing there in sweatpants. I prayed she’d keep her eyes up. I needed to discharge the current I felt looking into her eyes.
‘So, what you’re saying is that you’re about to start ripping this place apart, and my entire life will be affected by yours.’
She released her lip to take a deep breath. Jesus, Nick, you couldn’t just say thanks, no problem?
‘What I’m saying, what I very clearly just said, is that we are going to try and work around you to minimize the impact on you.’
‘But there will be an impact.’
Missy huffed loudly, then reached out and snatched the sandwich from my hand before turning and walking away, calling out from the stairwell.
‘You don’t deserve breakfast.’
And despite my annoyance — at myself more than her, I had to fight a smile.
Now I’m going through my usual morning routine: run before work, head home to shower, then down to the clinic, knowing that the work starts today, and before long, the apartment opposite will be occupied, and the barbershop will once again be open for business.