41. Lumbersnack’s Got Nothing On You
Lumbersnack’s Got Nothing On You
Nick
‘Holy crap.’ I turn at the sound of her voice to see Missy grinning at the cabin as Jonah runs to the small beach by the water’s edge. ‘Okay, Lumbersnack’s got nothing on you. Why didn’t you tell me you had a cabin?’
‘Well, I didn’t know I did. My grandad left it to me, but my dad kept that little secret. Mama just gave me the keys, and I wanted to get it fixed up before I told you about it and brought you out here and then…’
‘We lost our damn minds.’
I nod. Yeah, that’s one way of putting it.
‘Jonah, not too close to the water without a grown-up, okay?’ I call out and feel her eyes on me again, so I turn to find her smiling up at me.
‘You’re so good with him.’
‘Well, he’s a fantastic kid.’ We hold each other’s gaze for a moment before I nod toward the cabin. ‘Come on. I’ll show you inside.’
‘Jonah, come inside.’
The cabin looks so great, a completely different place to the rundown shed I walked into weeks ago. Jonah excitedly runs to the bedrooms as Missy turns in the middle of the open-plan space, taking it all in.
‘Nick, this is so nice.’
‘Doug helped.’ I shrug. ‘I thought you and Jonah could take the double, and I’ll take the twin room?’
She eyes me curiously, then nods her agreement. ‘Sounds good.’
There’s nothing I want more than to share with her. There’s nothing I want more than to finally make this thing official, but I need to tread lightly. I don’t want to be a trauma response or regret for her. Not to mention, the walls here are kind of thin, and Jonah would be right next door.
‘Jonah,’ I call out to derail my thought train, and he runs to join us, ‘You feel like learning how to fish?’
Excitedly, he jumps up and down, and I laugh.
‘I think you can take that as a yes.’ Missy smiles wide for the first time in a couple of days, and it’s perfect. She’s perfect.
Two incredible days at the cabin have passed so fast. We fished, splashed in the shallow water, and I tried and failed to show Jonah how to skim pebbles across the surface of the water while his mom sat on the shore watching and laughing, the sound a balm to the wounds we’d both had torn open.
Missy’s physical wounds were already starting to heal. I couldn’t speak to the mental ones.
As we sit on the deck, the light of the day fading as Jonah plays on the sandy lake shore, everything feels calm.
Missy and I enjoy a cold beer each while we watch him happily entertaining himself.
‘He loves it here,’ she says softly.
‘You’re both welcome here any time.’
‘I kind of don’t ever want to leave.’ She chuckles softly, and I imagine the reality of that with a soft smile, the three of us making a home together. Cooking together, playing together, and being a family. ‘What are you grinning at?’ I meet her amused gaze and smile, reaching across the gap between us for her hand .
‘That just sounds pretty good.’
‘Me never leaving?’ There’s humor in her voice that I was worried I’d never hear again.
‘All three of us staying here.’
‘Hmm.’ She smiles and holds my gaze, unspoken promises passing between us. ‘That does sound pretty perfect.’
‘Mama, come see what I made,’ Jonah calls out, and she stands and walks toward him.
Missy
I love it here.
When Nick asked me if I wanted to get away for a few days, this wasn’t what I was expecting, but it’s almost perfect, almost .
I know what he’s doing. He’s staying just far enough away, giving me space and time to heal from everything that happened, but I see the way he looks at me. I see the longing in his eyes, and I feel it just as badly .
Everything that happened with Bax feels like a distant memory up here, like a bad dream. The distance, the quiet, puts everything into a perspective I never would have expected to have.
Bree confirmed he’s been transferred out of Forest Falls. He’s locked up in a cell in the city, and even if his parents’ money gets him out for now, he won’t stay out, not without some miracle. He’s going to face judgment for what he did to me, and the peace that brings me is unlike anything I have ever felt.
For years, I feared that man. When I was with him, I feared his violence, and since I left, I’ve feared him taking Jonah from me. Now, I pity him.
I look at Nick and see a kind, beautiful, wonderful man who wants to take care of us, who wants to teach Jonah to fish and swim and bounce pebbles across the water, and I want him. I want a life with him, a family with him.
It’s time to accept that I’m safe to do this, to trust him, to trust this promised future that I feel certain we will have together. I’m safe to love him, to let Jonah love him. I couldn’t stop myself now, even if I tried.
If I thought Nick would let me, I’d put Jonah to bed in the twin room tonight and take him to the double with me to make a real start to this life together happen, but he won’t. He’s giving me space, and he’s giving Jonah space to deal with everything, but I don’t need any more space. I just need them, my two guys.
I look back and find him watching us, Jonah and me. As my baby shows me the flower he made in the sand with sticks and pebbles, Nick smiles at us, and my heart skips at the affection, no, the love in his expression. I know how he feels about me, about us, and I need to show him it’s mutual.