Chapter 8
?From yes to no, how many maybes??
—Julio Cortázar
Devon
The ringtone of my phone woke me up. Without lifting my head from the pillow and without opening my eyes, I fumbled on the nightstand and picked it up. I put it to my ear and answered. I didn’t even bother to check who was calling. My voice sounded like a zombie’s.
“Dr. Dulcet,” I said, answering the call.
“Are you still sleeping?!” my friend Orson shouted.
I had to move the phone away from my ear because I nearly fell out of bed from the shock.
“Stop shouting, pleeeease.”
“It’s nine in the morning, and I don’t know if you remember that we agreed I would accompany you to buy a dress for tonight’s dinner. I assume you haven’t changed your mind about accompanying me. So get your butt out of bed and be ready by ten because I’m coming to pick you up.”
“Orson, it’s my day off, have a little consideration for me.”
“That’s exactly why—it’s your day off and we’re going to make the most of it. We’ll go shopping, and in the evening, you’ll be my date at the Enfoque Corp company dinner, and we’re going to have a great time. See you in a bit.”
He hung up on me.
Damn you, Orson!
My friend had been invited to a corporate dinner, and Sylvia and I always took turns accompanying him because he didn’t like going to those types of events alone.
This time it was my turn to enter on his arm, and for that, he had forced me to go shopping because he said the occasion called for a spectacular gala dress.
I dragged myself to the bathroom for a long shower. When I came out, I was a bit more awake, so I went to the kitchen to prepare my precious coffee. Having a good cup of coffee was my only vice.
At ten, my friend was calling to let me know he was waiting for me downstairs. Our destination was a haute couture house, and while he enjoyed a coffee sitting in a comfortable armchair, I went in and out of the dressing room with different dresses.
“That one looks spectacular on you and matches your gorgeous eyes,” Orson said, observing me carefully.
I was wearing a strapless design in gray silk with cascading strass details and a defined waist.
“It’s as if it was made for you,” said the boutique assistant who had helped me put it on. “You look beautiful.”
“My friend is beautiful; it will be an honor to enter that party with you. I’m sure I’ll be the envy of all the guys.”
I looked at him and winked, and the girl looked at us and smiled.
I was a tall girl with a well-formed physique because I exercised quite a bit in my free time.
My hair was a light chestnut color, almost blonde, because I also had highlights.
Everyone said I was very pretty, but I found it hard to see that beauty.
Since childhood, I had suffered from very low self-esteem.
I had dedicated my childhood and part of my youth to seeking my mother’s acceptance and affection, something that, despite my efforts, I had never achieved.
Added to this lack were the emotional aggressions I constantly suffered from her and also from my sister, and as a result, I had become a person who didn’t see herself as pretty enough, or enough of anything—I couldn’t see anything good in myself, at least until a few years ago when I had managed to get out of that limiting box in which I had been raised.
From that moment on, I had lived the life I wanted and not the one others told me I had to live, although I had to acknowledge that everything I had experienced had hit my self-esteem hard, and that was something I still needed to work on.
Since my separation, I had received many invitations to go out, and although lately I had been going out a bit more, I rejected dates because at that moment I didn’t feel the strength or desire to enter into a relationship.
I considered myself unworthy of the privilege of loving and being loved.
The separation and everything I had experienced in the last months of my marriage had wreaked havoc on my heart, and I didn’t want to take it out of the place where I had stored it under a security lock.
As I was, I felt calm and had achieved my precious inner peace, and I was dedicating myself to me as I hadn’t done for a long time.
“Very well, then this is the chosen one,” I said, turning to observe myself carefully.
“And you’re going to impress everyone.”
“Remember that I’m doing this so you feel proud of me and not to impress anyone,” I reminded him, because my friend was one of those who always insisted on introducing me to someone.
“I’m always proud of you,” he replied with certainty, making me smile gratefully.
With everything necessary for the gala dinner, we went to have lunch together at one of our favorite restaurants.
“Tell me what you’ve been doing these days when you abandoned me and didn’t even bother to call me,” he reproached me.
“Save your sermon for another day, or else tonight you’ll have to go alone,” I scolded him, and at that moment I remembered everything I had experienced in those days with William Cavaller, but I decided not to mention it.
“Would you really do that?”
I looked at him, raising an eyebrow with a smug smile, and that was enough to answer his question. Orson huffed.
“I imagine all you’ve done is work and work.
You know I don’t criticize you for that because you’re happy doing it and you do good for those children, but you need to have more of a social life.
You’re not even 30 yet, Devon. I can understand that you wanted to take some time, but it’s been two years now, that’s more than enough time. ”
“I’m fine like this,” I said, bringing the wine glass to my lips.
“How long has it been since you slept with someone?”
“The last one was Lino, and by the end of our marriage we weren’t having sex anymore. Actually, he was the last and the only one.”
“Mother of God! We need to do something,” he said, shocked.
“Why are you so surprised when you know I haven’t dated anyone?”
“But I was hoping you might have had a little fling, you know, someone from work, from the gym, a stranger you’d only see that one time and nothing more.”
“No; sorry to disappoint you,” I stated, and without meaning to, I found myself thinking again about that man I couldn’t get out of my head lately.
My friend observed me for several long minutes.
Orson was an extremely handsome guy who dated many women; for him, going a week without sex was unthinkable.
We still hadn’t seen him with a formal partner, and to avoid dates, he would take Sylvia and me to his business dinners because we were more like sisters to him than friends.
“You don’t disappoint me, beautiful. You know I adore you, but I don’t want you to suffer anymore.
I want to see you happy; you deserve it more than anyone.
Remember what I always tell you, that phrase I read somewhere and always repeat like a mantra: ‘Not all storms come to disrupt your life, some come to clear your path.’ In your case, it was exactly like that because you got rid of that damn son of a bitch.
You know that if it were up to me, I would have murdered your ex and then disposed of the body without feeling any guilt or remorse. ”
I laughed at his comment, though he had said it before. Orson had never gotten along well with Lino because the latter was insanely jealous of him, but after the separation, Orson hated him with all his being.
“I know you would have done it and even enjoyed it,” I said, smiling. “But it’s not necessary. Let him live his life and be happy.”
“Do you still love him?”
“No; I don’t feel anything for him anymore, not even respect.”
“That makes me feel better. And tell me, have the bitter witch of your mother and her apprentice, meaning the viper of your sister, continued bothering you? Because I’ve got a score to settle with those two as well.”
His comment made me burst into laughter again.
“Because of me, you’re going to end up becoming a serial killer,” I said, still laughing.
“They all deserve that and much more.”
“Actually, they don’t deserve even a thought from us, so let’s forget about them.”
“You’re right, let’s change the subject and get organized for tonight. Should we go in my car or yours?” he asked, and I immediately realized he was doing it to spare me from bad memories.
“Better in yours because with that dress you made me buy and those high-heeled sandals, I doubt I’ll feel comfortable driving.”
“With that dress I made you buy, you’re going to dazzle more than one of those single, wealthy businessmen at the dinner.”
“Are you expecting me to arrive with you and leave with someone else? That wouldn’t reflect well on you. Would you leave me stranded in the middle of dinner to go off with another woman?”
My friend had to think about his answer, which meant you didn’t need to be a genius to know what was going through his little head.
“I’m not talking about leaving that same night, but we could certainly get more than one date for another day. I have no doubt about that.”
“Orson, you need to grow up!”
My friend burst out laughing.
As always when I was with him, lunch was a fun time where we didn’t stop talking and laughing. Being with Orson guaranteed entertainment, which is why I knew I would have quite an enjoyable evening.
Shortly before nine in the evening, Orson was knocking at my door. He didn’t even ring the building’s doorbell anymore because the doorman knew him and let him in.
“My God! You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life. If I didn’t see you as a sister, and a younger one at that, I swear I’d reconsider the whole marriage thing,” he exclaimed as soon as I opened the door to my apartment.
“Stop talking nonsense. And you look very handsome. In a tuxedo, you even look like a serious man.”
“Hey, that hurt! I am a serious and responsible guy. Being a ladies’ man doesn’t make me less responsible.”