Chapter 22
“Doubt that the stars are fire, doubt that the sun doth move, doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love.”
—William Shakespeare
Devon
I finished my consultation and was exhausted, but that day I had planned to go shopping for William’s Christmas gift. We were going to buy Aurora’s gifts together, so I only needed to get his. Before taking off the coat I wore during my consultations, I decided to call William.
—“Hello, ‘Dulce.’” —He answered after just one ring.
—“Hello, my love. Are you busy?”
—“Nothing important, I’m just in my office talking with Xavier.”
At that moment I heard Xavier’s voice shouting:
—“Thanks for telling me to my face that I’m not important. Hello, Devon, do you want to come have lunch with us? Or better yet, come have lunch with just me.”
—“Not even in your dreams, you idiot,” William said, and I could hear Xavier’s laughter.
—“I don’t want to bother you, I just wanted to let you know that I finished my consultation, but I’ll be late getting home because I’m going shopping.”
—“I have a meeting in 15 minutes and I suspect it’s going to be a long one, otherwise I’d join you.”
—“In this case, I prefer you don’t because I need to do this shopping alone,” I said, smiling.
—“Aaah, I understand now,” he said, and I could tell he was smiling, then he lowered his voice and added, “My best gift is you.”
—“Are you feeling romantic, Cavaller?”
—“That too, but mostly I’m...”
—“William, is Xavier still there?” I asked, interrupting him.
—“Yes, nosy Xavier is still here and he’s red with envy,” he said, raising his voice again.
—“I can’t deny that!” exclaimed the person in question.
—“We’ll talk another time. I love you,” I stated.
—“And I love you.”
I ended the call with a big smile. I took off my coat, packed my things, and left the clinic ready to go to a shopping mall.
Someone intercepted me when I was heading to the parking lot for my car. That someone was Lino. Why was he crossing my path lately?!
—“Hello, my queen. It seems like fate keeps bringing us together lately,” he said with a smile that I supposed was meant to be seductive, but which I found ridiculous.
—“Are you sure it’s fate, Lino? Because as I recall, this isn’t the clinic where you get your treatment.”
—“Are you suggesting that I’m following you?”
—“I’m not suggesting anything. I’m in a hurry. Have a good day,” I said, sidestepping him to continue on my way.
I felt his hand close around my arm to stop me. I jerked my arm roughly to free myself from his grip and looked at him with irritation.
—“Don’t touch me again. If I remember correctly, you said you preferred not to see me again in your life because I had only disappointed you, so I’ll spare you the unpleasantness and continue on my way. I guarantee that I don’t enjoy running into you either.”
Lino was watching me carefully, and his air of superiority had given way to something resembling desperation, though I doubted I was causing him that emotion.
—“Devon, I assure you that what I said isn’t what I was thinking,” he said, shaking his head. “I was just distressed and didn’t know how to handle the situation.”
—“Of course you didn’t know how to handle it, although that doesn’t change the fact that you hurt me. But there’s no resentment anymore because you ended up doing me a favor,” I said, and he looked at me with narrowed eyes.
—“What do you mean?”
—“It doesn’t matter anymore. I have to go.”
—“So now you’re happier than when you were with me? Is that it? Well, let me tell you that you’re making a mistake.”
—“Goodbye, Lino.”
—“Devon, I needed to see you. It’s true that we didn’t meet by chance today, I came here for you.”
—“I have nothing to talk about with you. We’ve already said everything and that’s in the past.”
—“The past? Since you mention it, do you know William Cavaller’s past?” he asked, and his expression immediately changed as he looked at me as if he knew something I didn’t.
My heart seemed to stop for a few painfully eternal moments.
—“My life is none of your business, Lino,” I said, trying not to show how much his question had disturbed me.
—“Of course it is. You were my wife, Devon. We were together for many years and that’s not something you forget.”
—“Well, let me remind you that you forgot it quite quickly.”
Lino shook his head and then ran a hand through his hair. I knew that gesture; he did it when he was overwhelmed by a situation. Before, seeing him like that would have worried and distressed me, but at that moment I just wanted him to leave and let me be.
“You're never going to forgive me for the divorce, are you?”
“You're wrong. The divorce would have happened sooner or later because we didn't love each other.”
“That's not true,” he interrupted. “I loved you, I lov…”
“Don't you dare say it! One doesn't destroy what one loves.
You didn't love me, and I didn't love you either, though I never disrespected you the way you did me.
I forgive you for the separation because we couldn't continue like that, what I don't forgive is all the pain you caused me, not because of the divorce, but because of your attitude toward my inability to be a mother.
You treated me as little more than useless, defective, good for nothing.
You blamed me for ruining your life. As I told you at the time, if that was the case, I'm sorry for doing it, though it was unconsciously.” I sighed, wearily.
“I've left all that behind, I'm happy, Lino.
I don't hold any grudges anymore. I hope you're happy too and that you can fulfill all your dreams.”
“Are you happy with that guy? Really?” he asked, and once again that expression of knowing something I didn't know returned to his face.
“I am.”
“Then you're living a lie.”
“I don't know what you're trying to accomplish with all this, but I'm not willing to keep listening to all the nonsense you're saying.”
I turned to resume my path toward my car, but again he stood in front of me.
“I'm just asking you to give me a few minutes.
Let's go to the café on the corner and talk while we have coffee.
I know I don't deserve anything from you,” he said, and for the first time since we had separated, I could see his eyes mist over with something resembling remorse, “but I beg you to listen to me.
Don't do it for me, do it for all the years we were together and were happy.”
I didn't understand anything. What was he trying to do?
“Lino, I repeat, we have nothing to talk about.”
“I assure you we do. Grant me those minutes, please. We'll be in a café surrounded by people, nothing will happen, we'll just talk.”
“No, my time is too valuable,” I said, knowing I was being very harsh, but I didn't care.
“I see I'm not worth even a minute of your time,” he said, putting on a dejected expression. “I'm still going to tell you what brought me here,” he stated, taking me by the arm. “I want you to know that I never intended to hurt you, I mean it.”
“If what you're looking for is forgiveness, I guarantee you that everything is forgotten.”
“I'm not asking you to forgive me,” he said, and he really seemed sorry, and for a moment I could glimpse something of the boy I thought I loved, “I know I don't deserve it, I just want you to understand that I know I hurt you but I did it unintentionally.
At that time I went through an emotional roller coaster that I didn't know how to handle. Can you understand that?”
“Honestly, I can't understand it because at that time I was going through the same thing as you, with the addition that I was the one who couldn't be a mom, but I don't remember blaming you for my fate or thinking you were cruel for leaving because I could understand you. What I will never understand was your coldness and cruelty.”
“I know, I know,” he said, shaking his head.
“Now that we've cleared that up, I'm leaving,” I stated, trying to resume my path, but he stopped me again.
“Your boyfriend won't make you happy,” he stated, looking at me seriously, and at that moment I could no longer bear his hypocrisy.
“William? You know nothing about him and you have no right to comment on William!” I exclaimed, furious. “I'm not going to listen to anything you have to say because they're just lies to prevent me from being happy. I can't believe you're such a terrible person!”
“Just listen to me and then draw your own conclusions.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“Because I want to look out for you.”
“Is this a joke?” I asked ironically, and in response he shook his head. “You're completely insane. Live your life and leave me alone.”
“Devon, listen to what I have to say, it's important. I wouldn't forgive myself if he played with your feelings.”
“Are you listening to yourself? I can't believe this! I'm leaving,” I said, breaking free from his grip and starting to walk.
I had barely taken two steps when I had him walking beside me again.
“Devon, you need to listen to me, your boyfriend is cheating on you.”
“Whaaaat? Leave me alone, you damn son of a…”
“Devon! He has several mistresses, I even know one of them.”
I was shocked, offended, and furious. I couldn't believe Lino had gone so far to destroy me, because that was surely what he wanted, to prevent me from being happy. I shot him a furious look of reproach.
“Your exit from my life was the best thing that could have happened to me. I recognize you less and less, you're a disgrace of a person and…”
“Listen to me, please. He marks all his mistresses by giving them a gold and diamond necklace.
I don't know if he's given it to you yet, but if he hasn't, I assure you he will at any moment.
I don't know why the hell he does it, he must be sick, but I assure you it's true. When I investigated his life, they explained to me that the man likes all his women to wear that necklace.”
“You investigated?” I said, with a thread of a voice, unable to believe what I was experiencing.