Chapter 26
“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”
—Emily Bronte, “Wuthering Heights”
Devon
When I made sure that William was sound asleep, I got up and went to the living room.
I had something pending and until I resolved it, I wouldn’t be able to sleep.
I took my phone from my purse and sat on the couch, looking at the little device with caution, but with determination.
After what William had told me about my mother’s call, I knew I had to talk to her.
I needed to close that wound and remove her from my life forever.
She didn’t want me in her life, so why continue insisting and begging for a feeling she would never have for me.
My heart was tired. Possibly, when I felt the strength of William’s unconditional love, I realized that I deserved to be loved, I realized that I deserved to be valued and that I was capable of inspiring those feelings in a person, or in many.
Because Aurora also loved me, she loved me like a mother, my friends also cared for me, they offered me their absolute friendship, and I loved them all and my heart was so big that it had the capacity to continue loving.
However, although my mother might be able to count on me because she was still my mother, I was no longer going to insist on being part of her life; now I was the one who wanted her out of my life.
Throughout my life, I had been begging for her affection, her approval, her respect.
I had never had any of that. I wasn’t going to continue with that pain weighing me down; now I was surrounded by love and it was time to let go.
I called her number with determination.
“I hope you’re calling to tell me that you’re with Lino and that you’ve abandoned the ridiculous idea of marrying that other rude man,” she said, as soon as she answered.
I sighed tiredly.
“How are you, mom?”
“Because of you, I’m not well, you don’t give me a moment’s peace. I found out from Lino that you were going to marry a man I don’t know and who apparently has a daughter. Have you gone crazy?”
“Yes, you’re right. I’ve gone crazy, crazy in love with them. They are my family and I love them with all my heart, just as they love me.”
“I assume this is a joke. Put Lino on the phone immediately,” she ordered, raising her voice.
“There’s no need to shout, I can hear you very well. I’ve always heard you very well. Lino isn’t with me; he’ll probably spend tonight in jail and we’ll see what happens tomorrow.”
“Whaaaat? What did you do to poor Lino?”
“Nothing he didn’t deserve. But let’s drop the act and the lies, mom. I know you were involved in this whole charade that Lino had devised.”
“Charade? You call the love Lino feels for you a charade? Do you realize he was willing to overlook the fact that you’re useless and can’t give him a child? You’ll never be a mother,” she pointed out, with the contemptuous air she always had.
“Don’t be mistaken, one isn’t a mother simply by conceiving a child. You did that but were incapable of behaving like one; you’re incapable of loving because all you think about is yourself.”
“Are you listening to yourself, you ungrateful wretch?! What didn’t I do for you?” she exclaimed, furious.
“Why do you hate me so much, mom? Let’s be honest, be truthful with me for once in your life.
From now on, I’m no longer going to be part of your life or my sister’s because it’s evident that’s what you want; I assure you we won’t see each other again, but for once in your life be honest with me and tell me what I did to make you hate me so much,” I demanded, almost like a plea.
“It’s true. I don’t want you in my life, I never did.
Because of you, I had to marry your father, that good-for-nothing, a mediocre man who only gave me a life as insignificant as he was.
I deserved another life, but you came along to ruin my plans.
You want the truth? Well, I’ll tell you the truth.
I wanted to abort you, I didn’t want you to be born, but my father forced me to have you and to get married.
Without you, I would have had a wonderful life,” she stated, as if lamenting.
So that was it. She had gotten pregnant and they had forced her to have me.
I understood that she would never feel anything good for me, no matter how much I disagreed with her behavior, I knew she would always despise me.
I don’t know where I found the strength to speak, because the pain I felt was immense.
“I can understand that my pregnancy was unwanted, but I didn’t ask to be born.
If you didn’t want to marry my father, you shouldn’t have done it.
I also don’t think I’m to blame for you giving up your dreams. All your sacrifices were by your own choice,” I said, because she wasn’t a child when she got pregnant with me; she could have rebelled and done what she wanted.
“I just told you they forced me because of you! My whole life I’ve been unhappy because of you. You are a disgrace in my life.”
“I’m sorry, I truly am sorry that you’re so unhappy.
I hope someday you can find some compassion and love in your heart; perhaps that day you’ll achieve some peace.
The wounds I have will no longer bleed; they have healed forever because I don’t feel guilty for your unhappiness.
Goodbye, mom, believe it or not, I hope you find happiness. ”
I ended the call and could no longer hold back my tears.
Although my mother had always had contemptuous and hurtful comments toward me, hearing everything she had said caused me immense pain.
I covered my face with my hands and cried, but warm, protective, strong, and secure arms surrounded me, making me feel loved.
I pressed myself against him as much as I could, seeking his warmth, seeking that calm and that tenderness that only he provided.
William was holding me firmly against him, and I knew that there I was safe.
After several minutes in which he let me cry without saying anything, he moved away a few inches and wiped my tears with delicate caresses.
“Are you feeling better?” he asked, concerned.
“I am, thank you.”
“Will you give me a smile?” he asked, while continuing to caress my face.
And how could I not? This man deserved everything. I smiled, but I did it genuinely, I did it sincerely. I no longer had reasons not to.
“I like your smile,” he said, also smiling.
“I like you,” I affirmed, giving him a soft kiss on the lips.
William looked at me with emotion reflected in his eyes.
“You are wonderful, ‘Sweet,’, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise,” he said, and I knew he was referring to my mother and that he had probably heard some of what I had said to her.
“You came into my life to disrupt it, but then to put it in order. You are my calm, you are the one who silenced all my demons, you are the love of my life. Love is this thing we have, being able to laugh together, being able to cry without shame and calm the anguish we might be feeling, it’s those hugs that make us feel safe, it’s knowing that always and regardless of absolutely anything, we will be there for each other.
Love is you, my love is you.” He leaned in and kissed me.
The kiss mingled with the tears I was shedding without being able to stop them, but they were no longer tears of anguish, they were tears of happiness.
“I love you, William.”
“I want to make love to you,” he whispered, with his lips pressed against mine.
“And I want you to make love to me,” I affirmed, kissing him passionately.
William lifted me up and carried me in his arms to our bedroom. With utmost delicacy, he laid me down on the bed and began to remove my nightgown and underwear while leaving a trail of kisses across my body. Then he took off his t-shirt and boxer shorts, and looked at me with adoration.
“You are so beautiful,” he said, and as if he couldn’t stay away from me any longer, he came closer and kissed me with need.
Immediately my hands got lost in his body, caressing his firm torso, his narrow waist, his strong and muscular arms, his firm buttocks.
His muscles tensed under my hands and his breathing became increasingly agitated.
We were a bundle of kisses, caresses, and gasps, while we whispered how much we loved each other.
His hands slid delicately over my skin, caressing my breasts, my belly, and continued their path lower.
I held back a choked cry when his fingers sank into me, under his intense and burning gaze.
“Don’t hold back, my love. Scream my name.”
“William… aaah.”
We kissed again and then he slid his burning lips over my chin, my neck, and followed the same path that his hands had taken minutes before.
I moaned loudly when he buried his head between my legs.
I was at my limit, I could no longer stop moaning and writhing.
William was also at his limit, and his gasps and breathing were increasingly accelerated, just like his mouth tasting every corner of my intimacy.
And he took me to that point of no return and I exploded in an orgasm that swept away even my consciousness.
My heart was beating at a frantic rhythm and I felt I couldn’t fill my lungs with air.
His lips returned to mine and the kiss gradually brought me back to reality.
A few seconds later he interrupted the kiss and looked at me in that way only he could, a look that was a mixture of love and admiration that sent a shiver through my entire body. I would never tire of that look.
Without taking his eyes off mine, his hands gripped my waist and, with a grunt, he slid inside me until he was deeply buried. At that moment William closed his eyes and I caressed his face.
“Look at me, William,” I said, and he immediately opened his eyes and fixed his burning gaze on me. “I love you. I love you so much that I feel my heart is going to explode with happiness.”
“You are the love of my life, Devon. I love you like I never thought it was possible to love,” he said, letting the air escape between his teeth.
Our bodies coupled and ready to move, seeking that friction that would drive us to madness.
And we did. I raised my hips toward him and William began to move.
With the first thrust, we both moaned loudly.
It was glorious. The movements became faster and stronger, and our moans were the only thing filling the room, it was the sound of love.
I felt that pleasurable sensation growing again and William accelerated his thrusts, and I let myself be carried away by it, and I screamed his name when the orgasm shot through my body like an electric discharge.
“William…”
He arched his back and with one last thrust shouted my name as he came.
“Devooon.”
He collapsed onto my body while hiding his head in my neck and giving me delicate kisses there. I wrapped my legs and arms around him, feeling his warm body and the beating of his heart. I hugged him and sought his lips to kiss him.
“William.”
“Yes?”
“I love you. My love for you is real and solid. I’m going to love you all my life. I love the family we have, I love Aurora and I’m sure that the love I feel for her is the same I would feel if I had carried her in my womb. Thank you for this beautiful family. Thank you for everything.”
“Don’t thank me for loving you, my sweet doctor. I love you more than I can express with words, but if you look at how I gaze at you, you should already know it.”
And looking into his eyes, I saw that great love William felt for me, as well as the reflection of what I felt for him. He smiled at me, and I knew I would do whatever it took to make sure he never lost that smile.