16. Jade
— ? —
Jade
Over the following weeks, things get better. Slowly, painfully, beautifully better.
Nova still calls me Jade, not Mommy. But she’s stopped asking for Vivian.
She’s stopped crying herself to sleep every night.
She’s started letting me hold her hand when we cross the street, started leaning against me on the couch during movie nights, started looking at me with something other than fear or confusion.
Small victories. I collect them like precious stones, holding each one up to the light before tucking it away somewhere safe.
Damian becomes part of our routine without either of us really planning it.
Morning coffee with me before Nova wakes, when we sit together in comfortable silence and watch the sun rise.
Helping with dinner, chopping vegetables while I supervise the stove.
Bedtime stories where he does ridiculous voices for all the characters - a squeaky mouse, a booming giant, a princess with a terrible French accent - until Nova is giggling so hard she can barely breathe.
She calls him “Dami.” He pretends to hate it. I can tell he secretly loves it.
One night, in the middle of a particularly dramatic reading of Where the Wild Things Are, Nova suddenly looks up at me.
“Is Dami going to stay? Like, forever?”
I glance at Damian. He’s looking at me too, something soft and hopeful in his eyes, waiting to see what I’ll say.
“Do you want him to?” I ask carefully.
Nova nods without hesitation. “He’s nice. And he makes you smile. You didn’t smile very much when I first came here, but now you smile all the time.”
My heart swells so full it aches. “Yeah,” I whisper. “He does make me smile.”
After Nova falls asleep, I find Damian in the kitchen, putting away the last of the dishes.
“She asked if you’re staying forever.”
He turns, pulling me close. “What did you tell her?”
“I asked if she wanted you to.”
“And?”
“She said yes.” I smile up at him. “She said you make me smile.”
His eyes soften. “Smart kid. Gets it from her mom.”
“So? Are you? Staying forever?”
He kisses me instead of answering. Deep. Promising. When he pulls back, his forehead rests against mine.
“Try to get rid of me.”
As the weeks pass, though, a shadow looms on the horizon.
Vivian’s trial is approaching, and with it comes the knowledge that I’ll have to testify.
That I’ll have to sit in a courtroom and relive everything - the betrayal, the arrest, the prison, the years of loss - in front of strangers and cameras and Vivian herself.
The night before the trial, I can’t sleep. My mind keeps cycling through everything that could go wrong, every way I could fall apart on the stand and ruin everything.
Damian finds me pacing the living room at 2 AM.
“Come here,” he says quietly.
We sit on the balcony together, wrapped in a blanket against the cool night air. The city spreads out below us, glittering with lights, and somewhere above the light pollution, stars are scattered across the sky.
“I’m scared,” I admit, staring at my hands. “What if I fall apart up there? What if I can’t get the words out, or I start crying and can’t stop, or-”
“Then you fall apart.” His voice is calm. Certain. “And I’ll be right there in the front row. And afterward, I’ll put you back together. That’s what I’m here for, Jade. That’s what I’ll always be here for.”
I lean into him, breathing in his warmth, his steadiness, the solid reality of him.
“What would I do without you?”
“You’d survive. You always do - you’re the strongest person I know.” He kisses my hair. “But you don’t have to find out. You’re stuck with me, remember?”
Trial day arrives gray and overcast.
I testify. I sit in that wooden chair, hands clasped in my lap to keep them from shaking, and I tell the truth.
“I gave birth in prison. In shackles. They chained me to the bed like an animal while I brought my daughter into the world.” My voice is steady, even though my heart is pounding.
“I held her for forty-eight hours before they took her away. I missed four years of her life - every milestone, every birthday, her whole childhood so far - because of that woman.”
I look directly at Vivian. She’s sitting at the defense table in an expensive suit, trying to project innocence and composure. But I see the cracks. I see the fear underneath.
I don’t flinch.
“And she smiled while they put me in handcuffs.”
The prosecution plays the airport video. The whole courtroom watches Vivian slap Nova, watches her drag a screaming child toward a plane, watches her mask slip completely as she loses control. Several jurors look away in disgust. One woman in the gallery starts crying.
When Vivian takes the stand, she cracks. She screams about how I didn’t “deserve” any of it, the husband, the baby, the life. How she worked so hard and I just stumbled into everything. How it should have been her, it was always supposed to be her.
The mask shatters completely, and everyone sees the monster underneath.
The verdict comes down: Guilty. All counts. Ten years.
Vivian screams as they drag her away, still hurling accusations, still insisting she’s the victim. I watch her go - this woman who was my sister, my best friend, my greatest betrayer - and I feel nothing but relief.
It’s over. It’s finally over.
Outside the courthouse, away from the cameras and the reporters shouting questions, Damian takes my hand.
“How do you feel?”
“Empty,” I say honestly. “Relieved. Tired. Like I’ve been holding my breath for five years and I can finally exhale.”
“I know what you need.”
He drives me to an ice cream shop I’ve never noticed before. Tiny. Pink awning. Cheerful in a way that feels almost defiant after the heaviness of the courtroom.
“You just survived a trial,” he says, opening my door. “You deserve ice cream.”
I laugh - really laugh, the sound surprising me.
We sit in a booth by the window and share a sundae. Strawberry for me. Chocolate for him. We steal bites from each other’s sides and argue about which flavor is superior.
“We’re going to do more of this,” he says, reaching across the table to take my hand. “Normal stuff. Happy stuff. Ice cream dates and movie nights and lazy Sunday mornings.”
“I don’t know how to do normal.”
“Then I’ll teach you.” He squeezes my fingers. “That’s our life now, Jade. Not courtrooms and prisons and fighting for survival. Just... this.”
I look at him. At the ice cream melting between us. At the afternoon sun streaming through the window.
“I think I could get used to this.”
“Good. Because you’re stuck with me.”
I lean across the table and kiss him. Taste chocolate on his lips.
“Best stuck I’ve ever been.”
That night at bedtime, I tuck Nova in and read her a story. Her eyes are drooping before I finish the last page, her stuffed rabbit clutched against her chest.
“Jade?” she murmurs sleepily.
“Yes, baby?”
“I’m glad you came back.”
My throat tightens. “Me too, sweetheart. Me too.”
“Is scary Mommy Vivi gone forever? She’s not going to come back?”
“Yes, baby. She’s gone forever. She’s never going to hurt you or scare you again.”
Nova nods, satisfied. “Good.”
She closes her eyes and falls asleep within seconds, peaceful in a way she hasn’t been since she arrived.
I watch her for a long moment, memorizing the soft curve of her cheek, the way her small fingers curl around her rabbit’s ear. Then I kiss her forehead and slip out of the room.
I find Damian on the couch and curl up against him, fitting myself into the space that already feels like it was made for me.
“She said she’s glad I came back.”
He smiles, pulling me closer. “See? I told you. Kids know.”
“She still won’t call me Mom.”
“She will. When she’s ready. You can’t force these things - they have to happen on their own timeline.”
I sigh and nestle deeper into his warmth. “I love you, Damian.”
“I love you too.” He kisses my hair. “Now stop worrying and let me hold you.”
I laugh softly and close my eyes.
***
Damian
I wake at 3 AM with my heart pounding.
The nightmare is already fading - something about Jade disappearing, about reaching for her and grasping nothing - but the feeling lingers. The terror.
She’s beside me. Breathing softly. Real and solid and here.
I watch her sleep and try to calm my racing heart.
What if I lose her?
The thought comes unbidden, unwelcome. I shove it away, but it keeps returning.
What if something happens? What if the custody falls through? What if she realizes she doesn’t need me anymore now that she has Nova? What if-
“You’re staring at me.”
I startle. Her eyes are open, watching me in the darkness.
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you.”
“You didn’t. I felt you panicking.” She shifts closer, pressing her body against mine. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Liar.” Her hand finds my chest, rests over my heart. “Your heart is racing. What happened?”
I close my eyes. I don’t want to tell her. Don’t want to admit that the man who’s supposed to be her rock is terrified of losing her.
“Damian.” Her voice is soft. Insistent. “Talk to me. You’re always making me share my fears. Now it’s your turn.”
“I had a nightmare.” The words come out rough. Reluctant. “About losing you.”
“Losing me how?”
“I don’t know. You were just... gone. And I couldn’t find you. And I woke up and-” I pull her closer, almost crushing her against my chest. “I can’t lose you, Jade. I can’t. If something happened-”
“Nothing’s going to happen.”
“You don’t know that. The universe isn’t fair. We both know that. You did everything right and still spent four years in prison. What if-”
“Hey.” She pulls back, cups my face in her hands. “Look at me.”
I look.
“I’m here,” she says firmly. “I’m not going anywhere. You fought for four years to get me back, and I’m not about to disappear now.”
“But what if-”
“No what ifs. Not tonight.” She kisses me softly. “Tonight, I’m here. Tomorrow, I’ll be here. The next day and the next day and every day after that. You’re stuck with me, Damian Castillo. You don’t get to be afraid of losing me because I’m not going anywhere.”
“I love you.” The words come out broken. Desperate. “So much it scares me.”
“I love you too.” She pulls me down, tucks my head against her chest, strokes my hair like I’m the one who needs comforting for once. “And I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”
I lie there, listening to her heartbeat, feeling her fingers in my hair, and slowly - slowly - the terror recedes.
She’s here. She’s real. She’s mine.
And I’m going to spend the rest of my life making sure she knows it.
“Damian?”
“Hmm?”
“It’s okay to be scared.” Her voice is soft. “It’s okay to need me. You don’t always have to be the strong one.”
“I don’t know how to be anything else.”
“Then let me teach you.” She kisses the top of my head. “Partners, remember? That means you get to fall apart sometimes too. And I’ll be here to catch you.”
“When did you get so wise?”
“Prison.” I can hear the smile in her voice. “Lots of time to think.”
I laugh despite myself. “I love you.”
“I know. Now go to sleep.”
“Yes ma’am.”
I close my eyes and let myself be vulnerable next to the woman I love.