8. Astrid
ASTRID
“Good morning.”
My stupid body responds to his voice as always. My skin prickles, my nipples tighten, and my pussy flutters.
God, this is so bad.
I thought I was prepared to see him. I’d gotten up early, showered, and dressed, and I’m wearing my cat.
I’m on my own turf, for fuck’s sake. I was surprised to see him standing out here on the back porch already, and it’s clear he’s been up for a little while, but still…this is my back porch behind my ugly house with my ducks running around the yard.
I should be prepared.
I’m not.
Declan is not wearing a suit.
That’s not fair.
In tennis shoes, running shorts, and a black T-shirt that molds to his broad chest and wide shoulders, he looks like a regular guy.
No, that’s not true. He looks like a devastatingly sexy regular guy.
He definitely doesn’t look like an all-powerful billionaire prince.
And I still want him.
Clearly, my attraction to him has nothing to do with his power or some weird subliminal take-charge signal that his suit sends to a primal part of my brain.
It’s just the guy.
“Good morning,” I finally manage. “So you’ve met Hotch, Reid, Morgan, Prentiss, Rossi, Garcia, JJ, and Alvez.” I point at each duck as I say their names.
And yes, my voice sounds stupidly breathless.
“What are those names from?” he asks. “I was expecting Daffy or Mr. McQuackers.”
I tear my gaze away from the thick column of his neck. God, I’m actually wondering if it tastes salty from the sweat from his run.
What? Why? I do not want to lick his throat.
Liar.
Ducks. He asked about the ducks.
I smile as I remember his question. “Criminal Minds. Those are all last names of characters from the show.”
He chuckles, and I feel the rumble down my spine.
“Criminal Minds? Should I be concerned about these ducks?”
I laugh. “If they’re plotting anything, they’re easily distracted by bugs and won over with kale and bananas, so don’t worry too much.”
I keep my eyes on the ducks instead of the too tempting man next to me.
“Are you coming out to feed them now?” he asks.
Does he sound a little excited about the prospect of feeding the flock? No way. Has Declan O’Grady ever been this close to this many ducks before? I can’t imagine it.
“I’ve already fed them.”
I can’t help the smile that lifts my lips as I watch the ducks waddle around their yard. This is something at the house that I did not think of Declan before I did it. But I definitely wondered what he would think of it afterward.
I guess I’m about to find out. I focus on him again, feeling slightly less rattled. “Did you want to help?”
To my surprise, he nods. “I can help tomorrow. Or do you feed them more than once a day?”
“I just fill up their feed in the morning. But I’ll have to change out their water tonight.”
“I can help you then.”
My eyes widen but then narrow. “Did Miles tell you I have ducks?” I ask. Declan’s not acting nearly as taken aback as I expected.
“He didn’t tell me anything about your house or yard beyond what security system you had installed.”
“He didn’t even mention the orange and brown wallpaper?”
Declan smiles, and I bring my hands up to cup Oscar’s butt in the baby sling to ground myself.
“He did not.”
They don’t talk about me? Well…ouch.
No, that’s stupid. It’s so much better if Declan doesn’t care about me or my life away from him.
“I looked up where the house is and checked out the area,” Declan goes on.
“But it never occurred to me to ask about your interior decor. I just pictured you in a space like your apartment in Portland.” His eyes narrow.
“But when I called him in, I was most concerned about his reasons for sucking up to the entire town.”
“Wait, you looked up the house?” I ask as that sinks in. “On your own?”
He looks puzzled for a moment. “Of course.” He says it as if that should be obvious.
I don’t know what to think about that.
“And you did ask Miles about his trips to Rebel?”
Declan scowls. “I did.”
“Because you were concerned about the Team Miles and Team Declan thing?”
He takes a step toward me and Oscar hisses.
Declan gives the cat a single arched eyebrow. “Yes.”
“You didn’t really think that anyone in Portland was reading the Louisiana website, did you?” I ask. “I doubt any of your business contacts or social circle even knows the name of the town I’m living in. And if they do, they don’t care enough to check them out online.”
I assume he wouldn’t want business and social associates to know that an entire town across the country has decided another man is a better match for me than Declan.
But he looks confused. “I’m certain every one of my acquaintances knows where you’re living, Astrid. Whether or not they’ve looked it up, I have no idea. And if they’re following the website…” He sighs, as if that hadn’t occurred to him. “I doubt very much that any of them would mention it to me.”
That’s probably true. Even the people Declan occasionally socializes with seem very deferential in the short interactions I’ve been a part of, and I have a suspicion everyone is intimidated by him and wants to impress him.
“I guess having a Team Miles makes you look bad?”
He frowns. “I’m not concerned with how it looks. I’m concerned with the truth of it.”
“What do you mean?”
“The town doesn’t know me. Yet. They don’t know that I’m the best man for you.”
I shiver at the assuredness in his tone and the way he meets my gaze directly as he says the words. He seems to have no question about the truth of that statement.
“And the opinion on the matter from people in Portland isn’t really relevant.”
“Oh,” I say softly.
“But I wanted to know if there was any truth to the idea of you and Miles being together,” he goes on. “I wanted to be sure that Miles wasn’t suddenly having second thoughts about his feelings with you so far away.”
Both of my eyebrows shoot up toward my hairline. “Excuse me?”
“I just wanted to remind him that you and I are legally married. You are my wife. So I wanted to check in on Miles and his feelings.”
A strange flip occurs in my stomach. I should not like any possessiveness from Declan. It’s misplaced. This isn’t a real relationship based on true emotions. But dammit, the tingles dancing across my nerve endings call me a liar.
“Miles and I are only friends. We’ve always only been friends. He doesn’t have any feelings that suddenly got stirred up.”
Declan nods. “So he told me.”
“Do you believe him?”
“I do.” He pauses. “Though, I find it puzzling.”
“Puzzling?” I repeat.
“That he’s never wanted more.”
My stomach flips again. I swallow hard. “It’s just never been like that for us. Sometimes you just don’t have physical chemistry with someone, even if it feels, in your head, like you should.” Then I add. “And sometimes you do have chemistry with someone, even if you feel like you shouldn’t.”
Something flickers in his eyes, but he doesn’t comment on that specifically. Instead, he says, “I still had to be sure. Your sudden move to Louisiana was something none of us really saw coming. I know he had feelings about it. I know he missed you. And was concerned.”
I study him. I don’t know why, but it feels like there’s something underneath his words. Maybe Miles isn’t the only one who missed me? Or who was concerned?
“But Miles reassured you that I’m happy here?”
I probably shouldn’t care so much about Declan’s feelings.
I want an annulment. The fewer emotions involved the better.
“He did,” Declan says.
“Well, then the house and everything must be a big surprise,” I say trying to pull the conversation away from things like feelings.
Declan glances from the ducks to the house, with a half grin tugging at his mouth.
That damn mouth. Ever since the spontaneous kiss last night
Okay, that’s not entirely true. I have definitely noticed his mouth before the kiss.
“You probably think it’s all crazy,” I say, prompting him. For some reason.
Or maybe I’m giving him permission. He can tell me what he thinks about all of this. I want to know. I’m trying to drive him crazy after all. If he thinks it’s ridiculous, I need to gauge just how ridiculous he thinks it all is, and if I need to turn it up a bit or just keep piling it on.
Then again, I fully intend to keep piling on.
I have a whole plan here. He thinks he’s going to stay in Rebel and convince everyone, including his grandfather, that we’re madly in love and happily married?
No way. I am going to drive him completely crazy and have him running to the airport next week.
And I don’t even think it will be that difficult.
When I first came to Rebel, I was acutely, daily, aware of how different this little town was from everything I knew.
The country where Declan and I both grew up is tiny and made up of various, cute little villages dotting a mostly windswept countryside of rolling hills and valleys where the climate and thin topsoil make it difficult for trees or even thick grass to grow.
Families can trace their roots back to the very first generation to come to the island. Everyone knows everyone else.
It’s not the size of Rebel, or the lack of big-city conveniences, or the lack of privacy that is foreign to me, despite spending nearly a decade in a big American city now.
It’s Rebel itself. It is a unique place, full of people who are wonderful, loving, loyal, and…a few crayons short of a full box.
Still, they definitely make things bright and interesting with the colors they’ve got.
And when you put them all together, you have more than a gorgeous rainbow.
The things I initially thought would make Declan absolutely crazy, have turned out to be things that absolutely delight me. I’m definitely happy here.
So it won’t be hard to introduce him to my real life here in Rebel. And when he decides it is absolutely not for him, that won’t entirely break my heart.
Because I do want to stay. I want this over-the-top, patterned and colored house. I want the ducks. I want my bonkers hockey team. And everything else that has come into my life.
I’ve worked hard to get past the failures and the ways I’ve let people down.