11. Astrid #2
I decide to give her something obvious that I will also take responsibility for.
“Our hockey league. Declan has a very specific idea about how things should be when it comes to managing a hockey team.” I think about how perfectly arranged his kitchen is, how neat and devoid of clutter his desk is, how there is no color or personality in his entire apartment.
He thinks your house is interesting, though.
I shake that off.
“He loves hockey,” I continue. “He owns a professional team. He knows how hockey is supposed to go from the practices, to games, to the front office. The fact that we’re doing everything with very little structure and crazy rules is the perfect example of something that will frustrate him when he’s right here in it every day. ”
“But it’s so fun!” Nora exclaims. “Everyone thinks so. Even Alex agrees now.” She grins.
My brother did not appreciate our form of hockey when he first showed up in Rebel. But he is now one of the biggest proponents. Even though he’s the one who dubbed it Bonkers Hockey. Which is a good thing, considering he’s one of our star players and easily the biggest name on the roster.
Over this past season, though, all of the guys have gotten attention on social media and even in national sports media at times, as the idea of a hockey league that plays by fan-led rules, includes sudden breaks for song and dance, and whose entire goal is simple fun has caught on.
We’ve had hockey celebrities show up to watch.
Alex and I have both been interviewed on popular sports podcasts.
People who were already following both Alex and me have stuck around for this new adventure, and we’ve both seen our followings grow.
“Well, that’s the thing,” I tell Nora and Sutton. “Declan isn’t exactly a fun guy. I’m sure he thinks our hockey league is ridiculous and being up close and personal with it will definitely frustrate him.”
That’s the entire reason I went from believing I was buying a minor-minor league hockey team to going along with Nora’s plan for a league that was more about putting on a show and getting the fans involved: I knew Declan would hate it.
But now I love it. Even more, I believe in it.
In our league, we can do things the pros either don’t do or things they suck at.
We promote diversity. We are loud and proud allies of the LGBTQ+ community and have two players on our teams who are in same-sex relationships.
We support women in hockey and have two female players on our teams while actively recruiting more.
We advocate for our athletes' mental health alongside their physical health.
We hold people accountable for bad behavior.
And we are always fan-led in everything, from the rules in the games to how our players show up in the community.
I guess I should be grateful for the urges I had to drive my new husband crazy. They led me to some really amazing things here in Louisiana.
“So you want to do activities with Declan that are like the hockey league,” Sutton summarizes. “Things that he won’t like.”
“Exactly. I mean, it’s really different here from what he’s used to anyway. It might not be that hard to annoy him.” Especially when it really sinks in that I’m a pain in the ass to live with and he’s not going to get laid. I try to stuff those thoughts to the back of my mind. “But let’s be sure.”
I cross to the huge whiteboard on one wall and study the events for the week.
“We have Otter Club this week,” Sutton says.
I nod. “That might work. Though he’s kind of already experienced the otters.” I don’t add that he was not really a fan. That might be too much for Nora and Sutton to take.
“There’s BINGO,” Nora suggests.
When I look over at her, she’s grinning.
“Why do I have a feeling that BINGO in Rebel is not like regular BINGO?”
Nora’s grin widens, with a touch of pride.
“You would be correct. There are still BINGO cards, and people mark off the squares as they get them done. When you get three in a row, you come into the office for your prize.”
“And what’s in the squares?” I ask, knowing it’s not simple numbers.
“Things like “find someone in town who has been to Niagara Falls” or “find someone who has a birthday in April.”
I laugh. “Doesn’t everyone here already know all of those things about each other?”
“Maybe.” Nora shrugs. “But maybe not. And some of the squares are “find someone who has had a nightmare in the past month and have them tell you about it” and “find someone who read a book with a dog in it in the past two months”. So those things change all the time, and you wouldn’t necessarily know that even about people close to you. ”
I shake my head, smiling. Why haven’t I heard about BINGO here? “So, you’re encouraging people in this town to talk to one another? That doesn’t actually seem to be a problem around here.”
Nora laughs. “It’s supposed to be someone you don’t normally talk to.” But she shrugs. “It’s just about getting people out doing new things. It’s not so much about this specific event.”
This is often Nora’s answer when describing the activities she puts together.
While she definitely wants things to go well, and she puts a lot of thought into the details, she is much more focused on everyone having a good time and being together than she is on the specifics of the event being perfect.
“Well, that’s actually really nice,” I tell her. “I’m not sure that would work to make Declan not like it here.”
Though if he’s truly an anti-social grump, it would, I suppose.
The thing is, I’m not sure that’s actually the case.
As if on cue, I get another text from Wilson.
Stan is thrilled. Declan gave him double.
I roll my eyes. Declan is not supposed to be nice and make everyone happy. He’s supposed to not only be annoyed but also be annoying.
Then again, maybe he’s just trying to get on everyone’s good side. Build up Team Declan. Make it look good for his grandfather. Maybe he truly is annoyed and will tell me all about it later.
I look up at Nora.
“BINGO is too nice.” Declan would probably like it and be charming about that too. “I’m going to need something completely different.”
Her smile falls, and she sighs.
Sutton laughs. “Nora doesn’t know how to do not-nice.”
“I know,” I agree. “Let’s think of it as Declan-irritating. And it’s only for a week. And we just need something a little more over-the-top than usual. It doesn’t have to be bad. Declan is just a very…put-together person. He likes things a certain way. He’s kind of a perfectionist.”
I try not to show in my expression how that bothers me.
I used to be that way. Being a gymnast meant following specific routines for everything from my diet to my training routines to my actual performances. I appreciate precision.
But I’m working hard to let go of the idea that the fact that my body will never be whole or perfect again does not mean that I’m a failure.
Still, it’s very hard to ignore the fact that I am not the wife Declan thinks he married.
Or the woman I want to be.
“Oh, I know!” Sutton says. “We could do a mass casualty drill. We haven’t done one of those in a long time.”
“A what?” I ask.