28. Declan
DECLAN
I have never been so eager to get home in my entire life.
Astrid left the arena before I did, and I need to get to her.
I know she’s disappointed. I know she feels like she failed me. And I’m scared to death she’s thinking about our trip to Cara differently now.
I thought I had her convinced to decline the annulment.
Now, I don’t know.
She thinks penetrative sex has to be a part of our marriage. To make it real. To make it full.
It’s very possible she’s thinking about ending everything because of what happened in her office. Or what didn’t happen.
I have to prove to her that’s not true.
So since I intend to sweep her up and carry her straight to bed as soon as I hit the door, I needed to shower. I then found myself surrounded by hockey players, community members, and Maggie, the reporter, who wanted a few more quotes before she wrapped up her story.
I am not even sure what I said to her.
Everything was pretty fucking perfect as far as I was concerned. I was able to tell the media that I intend to stay in Rebel, the game was fun, and I held my own, and then my end performance with Astrid was the chef's kiss.
In addition, my best friend, my sister, and her family were all in the stands.
My heart squeezes when I think about the way Fiona stepped out of the crowd at the crawfish boil. She looked nervous at first, but as soon as we hugged, I knew we were okay. She lives just down the road. I don’t have to wait for Christmas to have some of my family back in my life.
But he’ll be at Christmas this year.
Astrid’s words to Saoirse play over in my head. Surely that means she wants to stay together, right?
But…no. Not necessarily. We can both go to Cara for the holidays. Astrid would want that for me. No matter what happens between us.
I turn down the street to Astrid’s house—our house, dammit—and have to slow down because of the extra vehicles parked along the curb.
I don’t recognize the trucks, but I have a guess who they belong to.
And it looks like my reunion with my wife will have to wait.
I head up the newly paved front walk and climb the new steps to the new front porch.
Twinkle lights are strung above, and soft, jazzy music plays from hidden speakers.
My sister and Iris sit in dark brown wicker chairs with gaudy overstuffed flowered cushions, while Nora and Patty share the matching loveseat. There’s a low coffee table that’s holding a pitcher made of thick green glass etched with leaves and matching glasses.
At the other end of the porch, Knox and Saoirse are on a swing talking to Miles, Alex, and Wilson, who are leaning against the thick, sturdy porch railing.
“Declan!” Fiona is the first one to notice me.
“Hey, everybody. Welcome.”
Just as it’s hitting me how much I fucking love welcoming these people to our home, my gorgeous wife steps out of the front door, carrying a tray of snacks.
She pulls up when she sees me. Her face breaks into a wide smile that is so genuine, and, seeing her framed by that doorway, I actually feel tears prickle at the back of my eyes.
“I need to talk to you,” I tell her.
My tone is gruffer and firmer than I intend, but I don’t hesitate or try to soften it. I step forward, take the tray from her hands, and hand it over to Patty, the person seated closest to me, then wrap a hand around Astrid’s upper arm and escort her back into the house.
I don’t stop until we are in the kitchen, where no one can hear us.
She frowns up at me, concerned. “Are you okay?”
“I am completely in love with you.”
This isn’t exactly how I plan to tell her, but it’s completely right. I can’t wait another minute, and here, tonight, with all of those people outside, is perfect.
Her eyes widen, then fill with tears.
I cup her face with both hands. “I know that you might not—”
She immediately grips my wrists and interrupts, “I am completely in love with you, too.”
All of the air whooshes out of my body. “You are?” I ask.
She tries to nod, but I am holding her face. She smiles. “Of course, I am. I have been for a while. But I am completely sure of it and definitely ready for you to know.”
I kiss her deeply. I pour as much emotion into it as I can. When I lift my head, I look directly into her eyes. “I love that you have let these people onto our porch.”
“Me too. We did the big show, and now we have the more intimate time with these people.”
I nod. “It’s perfect. Thank you for inviting my sister.”
“Of course. I love Fiona and Knox and Saoirse.”
“Me too. And we need to get rid of them as soon as possible.”
She grins, but asks, “Why? I don’t understand.”
I put my mouth against hers and say with a growl, “Yes, you fucking do.”
She lets out a shaky, soft breath. “I’m sorry about before.”
“Don’t. It wasn’t your fault. It doesn’t have to be—”
Her hand covers my mouth. “It was my fault for not realizing that that was a stupid time to try it for the first time,” she says.
“On my desk, where I can’t change positions or control angles, when we didn’t have much time, when we weren’t even fully undressed, was a mistake. But…I want to try again.”
My heart thumps so hard, I have to stop and take a deep breath.
“Yes, absolutely yes. We’re going to keep trying till it works. And we’re going to have a hell of a good time in the meantime.”
She kisses me hard, then says, “I love you so much.”
“Good. And I love those people outside. And they’ve got to go.”
She giggles.
And then it takes us nearly an hour to get rid of them all.
And I love every minute of that hour.
Spending time with Fiona, Knox, and Saoirse and making future plans heals something inside me beyond even what I expected. I knew I needed it, I just didn’t realize how much.
Patty and Wilson praise Astrid's first porch gathering, and the way my wife beams makes me both soft and hard at the same time. Soft in the general vicinity of my heart, definitely hard below my belt.
They discuss the way she wants to paint the porch—browns, greens, oranges, and gold with a bold, flowery pattern of course—and she shows them two more glassware sets she wants and discusses how fun it will be to have a mismatched set of serving dishes, and they assure her that in spite of all of the plants she has in the front yard, she can still have more up on the porch.
Then finally Knox says, “Well, we should get going.”
They have about a forty-minute drive back to Autre.
“Yup, me too,” Wilson says, even though he’s only about fifty feet from his front door.
They all get up, hugs are exchanged, and within minutes Astrid and I are alone.
Standing on the top step, watching them go, Astrid blows out a breath. “Thank God.”
I laugh. Then I bend and haul her over my shoulder and carry her inside.