Chapter 34
Elise
Bellini's gives us the same table.
I suspect Bennett called six months ago and reserved it forever.
I decide not to investigate.
He arrives before me wearing the old watch.
I wear the green dress.
When he sees me, the look on his face makes eight years collapse into one breath.
"Hi," he says.
"Hi."
"Happy not-our-anniversary."
"Very romantic."
We sit.
His phone is not on the table.
Neither is mine.
For dinner, we talk about the tour. His transition at Halcyon. Tessa's refusal to believe pasta can be food unless it contains enough garlic to end a relationship.
We do not discuss the marriage until dessert.
Tiramisu.
Of course.
Bennett sets down his fork.
"I don't want you to come back because I did enough tasks."
My chest tightens.
"Good."
"I don't want a reset."
"Good."
"I want to know whether you would consider building something new with me."
I look at the man across from me.
He is still Bennett.
Still ambitious. Still occasionally impossible. Still a man whose nervous system lights up when a problem needs him.
He is not cured.
Neither am I.
I still swallow needs until they become resentment sometimes. I still say fine too quickly. I still feel a flash of fear when Maren's name appears in a group email.
But now Bennett notices when he leaves the room without moving.
Now I notice when I disappear while standing in it.
"I leave for tour in six weeks," I say.
"I know."
"I don't want to move back before I go."
Pain flickers across his face.
He nods.
"Okay."
"When I come back, if we are still doing well, I want to talk about living together again. Not before."
"Okay."
"Two nights a week where work doesn't enter after seven unless someone is literally in danger."
"I agree."
"Counseling continues."
"Yes."
"And my career is in our calendar, not just in your compliments."
He nods. "Yes."
I reach into my purse.
The ring rests in my palm.
Bennett's eyes close for one beat.
I do not put it on.
"Not yet," I say.
He looks at the ring, then at me.
"Okay."
No bargaining.
No disappointment turned into pressure.
I place it back in the small pouch.
Then I reach across the table.
This time he meets me halfway.
His hand closes around mine.
The leather strap on his wrist shifts, and I know the words hidden beneath it.
COME HOME TO ME.
I once thought home was a place Bennett returned to after everyone else was finished needing him.
Now I understand better.
Home is not where one person waits.
It is what two people keep choosing to build.
Tonight, we choose to keep building.
Not to pretend the house is finished.