8. Confessions
8
CONFESSIONS
EVAN
D ante swaggers into the kitchen with his big arm slung over Tessa’s shoulders. A clear claiming signal.
Her cheeks are flushed and her hair mussed, a clear sign she’s been freshly fucked.
My cock stirs but does even more when I catch the undiluted scent of sex wafting off them.
Tessa seems slightly uncomfortable, but Dante gives me a wink when she isn’t looking his way.
Smug bastard. He really needs to rub it in?
Today isn’t the day for this. I’m still raw from today’s session with Karma. All my horrid memories are floating like turds in my mind. Normally, I have my pain properly buried deep in my subconscious.
I glance over at Kurtis and see the same irritation. Though he seems closer to breaking.
At least I’m not alone in this storm.
“Hey, guys,” Tessa says with a note of awkwardness and sits down at her usual place at the table. A plate of food is waiting for her. She flicks her gaze at me. “You got this for me?”
“I hope you don’t mind.”
She shakes her head and glances at Dante’s empty plate and then at his frown.
I’ve pissed him off. Good.
He pushes away from the table and pouts his way over to the kitchen island to dish out his own serving. When he returns, he brings over a dessert for Tessa.
He smirks as she thanks him for the offering.
I’d snarl, but I’m not an animal. I was hoping to play it cool with Tessa. I briefly thought maybe we could eventually share, but now I want to steal her away. Show her I can be all she needs. More than what he can offer.
“How was your day with Death?” I ask.
Tessa uses her fork to move the food around on her plate but doesn’t eat. She’s preoccupied by her own demons, it seems. “Tomorrow will be my first real day as a reaper.”
“Are you nervous?” I ask before either of the other fools can.
Sighing, she admits, “Yeah. I hope I have the stomach for it. All the stories I’ve read… it can be hard, especially with kids and stuff.”
“That doesn’t sound easy,” I say, reaching across the table and patting her hand.
Dante wraps his arm around her again. “You’re strong. You can do anything.”
She hums. When we make eye contact, I can see her worry. She’s damn strong, but there are times when we don’t want to be anymore. Times when we want to give up. Or at least let go of a heavy responsibility.
I suspect she’ll need to let go and release her stress in the coming months and years. I could give her that release. As my submissive, she could let go, and I would make her float in bliss without worry.
Kurtis clears his throat, gaining our attention. Then he glances around to confirm our group is alone in the kitchen. “The meditation was brutal today. Karma brought up stuff I didn’t even remember before.” He looks at me and Dante, hoping for us to agree.
We had gone our separate ways after the meditation, none of us wanting to talk about it. I still don’t want to talk about it. Ever. Dante doesn’t appear too eager, either.
“If you ever need to talk…” Tessa offers him. She looks at me, then Dante, and gives a soft smile that shows she’s including us. “I’m not an ideal counselor, but I’ve been through shit too and can empathize. Just be a set of ears and shoulders.”
“You’re a hell of a lot more than that.” Kurtis grins and adds his thanks. “I might take you up on that offer sometime.”
“I’m sort of jealous you get to do this together and I’m left out. I’m feeling a bit of FOMO,” she confesses.
“I’d rather do what you’re doing,” I mutter, and take another bite of my potatoes.
“Death might notice if we try to swap places. You’re much taller than me,” Tessa jokes.
“And I don’t want to piss him off trying anyway,” I add.
“Me either.”
“Does he scare you?” Kurtis asks. “He scared the fuck out of me.”
I remember we had a frightening introduction to Tessa’s current boss, while we were dying after Instant’s attack.
“Death’s actually nice. And from what I can tell, he has integrity. My instincts say he is one of the few gods that has our collective human backs.”
While we finish up our plates, the rest of the residents wander into the kitchen.
Dante is guiding Tessa away when OG Karma enters and calls to him. “Dante, I was wondering if we could have a one-on-one session before you settle in for the night.”
I see his jaw flutter with nerves, but he doesn’t deny our new goddess. Reluctantly, he lets go of Tessa’s hand and follows Karma down the hall.
I didn’t realize we were getting private sessions, but it makes sense.
And this is my chance to talk to Tessa alone.
Kurtis must see the opportunity too as he hurries to go after her.
We both come up behind our quarry, and Tessa rounds on us before we get within an arm’s length.
She crosses her arms and hisses in a whisper, “What’s going on?”
“Huh?” Kurtis blurts out.
“With all three of you. You’re acting strange. Should I be worried?” Tessa gazes in the direction that Karma took Dante.
I settle her worries. “He should be fine. Can we talk for a bit?” I gesture to the game room, which is far enough away that no one else in the house can sneak up and eavesdrop.
Tessa must see our desperation and gives us a nod, heading toward the room and sitting down on the long leather couch. Kurtis and I don’t take our usual seats, but perch on either side of her.
She places a hand on our knees and glances back and forth between us. “Are you sure you guys are okay?” Her kindness almost undoes me. I want to tell her exactly how not okay I am.
Kurtis and I each clasp a hand to keep her near us.
“Not completely, no.” I admit. Her eyes search mine. And I fall into the warmth of her dark brown eyes. “I understand you’re with Dante right now. But I was hoping?—”
“ We were hoping,” Kurtis corrects.
“ We hoped you might be open to also dating us too.”
Her eyes narrow, and I can see the wheels of her psychic ability turning. She doesn’t know if we’re fucking with her. That has been the problem, hasn’t it been? Instant Karma didn’t want us to trust each other and with our orders to prank each other, we still are working through trusting one another.
Then I see something else flash behind her eyes. A memory or a feeling? I’m unsure.
She looks at Kurtis for a long moment and then back to me. “Uh, I don’t know if that’s a good idea. It might not even be a great idea for me to be dating Dante—while he’s healing.”
I hear the unsaid and say it for her. “You mean, while we are healing?”
“I’m not saying I’m not messed up too,” she hurries to explain. “But this is all a lot. And don’t people in AA have to wait a year or something before they can date?”
“We aren’t addicts,” Kurtis grumbles.
She squeezes his hand. “I know. I’m just saying that Karma’s program is a road for recovery too, and we are all on a similar road.”
I dare to reach out and cup her cheek. Her eyes widen, and she swallows nervously. My gaze drifts to her luscious lips. With every fiber of my being, I want to kiss her, but I know I shouldn’t.
“Evan?” she whispers.
My thumb brushes over her bottom lip. “Tessa?”
“It’s not that I’m not attracted to you or Kurtis, but I won’t betray Dante. I can’t do that. Not to him, not to any of us. Especially in the house of Karma.”
“I know, baby.” I pull back ever so slightly and release her face. “But I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t tell you how I feel.”
“Me either,” Kurtis adds, and she turns to him as he goes on, “I’ve fucked up and missed so much of my life. I had to let you know I would be the best version of myself for you.”
“I appreciate that, but you need to be the best version of yourself for you,” she says kindly, and I can hear the distance brewing between us. She pats our hands and stands up. “This is a lot to dump on me. I have to go get some rest now for my big day tomorrow.”
“Tessa—” I begin to protest her leaving, then realize I need to back off. She needs time to think about all this.
“Good night.” She pauses before she leaves and says, “Don’t expect an answer from me about this. Not right away. Give me some space.”
Her eyes are haunted with something I don’t understand, but I hope she explains it to me one day. Hopefully, one day soon.
Good night, my sweet.