12. Reading the Signs
12
READING THE SIGNS
EVAN
D ante has been brooding in his room ever since our group session with Karma.
I never wanted to be an ass to him. But I don’t want to lose Tessa, either. I feared she might slip through my fingers if I didn’t let her know my intentions.
Although, I could have pushed her away with my confession just as easily.
At the kitchen table, I’ve been reading the tarot cards all evening, waiting for our girl to return from work. What the cards have to say hasn’t been good.
From what I’m able to interpret, the cards suggest that if something doesn’t change, she’s going to leave. For good.
She’ll probably break up with Dante without even giving Kurtis or me a chance. She’ll move in with the other Death agents and never return.
My stomach twists into knots at the thought, and my heart spasms with pain. I don’t know exactly when it happened, but I fell in love for the rebellious woman who shook my entire world to the ground.
No, I know exactly when I was lost to her. When I fell. And when I kept falling deeper and deeper.
I’m still camped out in the kitchen when I hear Kurtis and Tessa enter the house from the back. Why the hell is she coming home through there? And how did Kurtis know where she was?
Did they plan a rendezvous? Why the fuck didn’t I think of that?
“Hey.” I try for casual, but can hear the bark in my voice as they enter the empty kitchen with shared laughter between them.
Put on guard, Tessa crosses her arms and raises her brows. “ Hey? ” she questions.
“Sorry.” I rub my mouth, wishing I could erase my gruff greeting. “I was getting worried when you didn’t come for dinner.”
The flimsy excuse for my aggressive tone seems to calm her a bit, but not completely.
Kurtis smiles adoringly at her and says, “I’m going to the game room to watch some TV, if you’re up for hanging out some more.”
Some more? What have they been doing?
“Not now, maybe next time,” she says with a grin. “Cool?”
Okay … what the fuck is going on between them? When did they get so chummy?
Kurtis skips off, giving me a saucy wink. Is he messing with me on purpose?
Tessa saunters over to where I’m sitting. Her movements and intensity remind me of a wildcat, and I’m the prey. I shift uncomfortably in my chair. I’m usually the dominant one in the room, but she holds her own and then some.
Her gaze drops to the spread of tarot cards, and I see her readied interrogation is temporarily set aside. She probably sees what they are saying, but half of what cards reveal is in the question asked.
“What do they have to say to you?” she says, and an icy breeze rushes over my skin.
Was that her power?
“That I probably fucked up,” I say and dare to raise my gaze to meet hers.
Tessa smirks. “ Probably? ”
“Definitely.” I flick my chin at her. “It’s confirmed in the way you’re looking at me like I’m on your reap list.”
“And how did you fuck up?” she asks in a soft, yet leading manner, so I know I better answer to her satisfaction, or this conversation is over.
“I went after the woman I love in a completely wrong way.”
Tessa flinches when the word love falls from my lips. “Evan?” she whispers. “You can’t mean that.”
“Can’t I?” I show her the lovers’ card prominently centered in my spread. “I loved you when you tried to protect us from Instant Karma. When you were so fucking brave and strong and willing to sacrifice everything to save us and the world. But if I’m honest, I began to fall the second I laid eyes on you when you first walked into this house. And again when you figured out our prank about sleeping together in the same bed. And fuck, I wished you wouldn’t have been so smart. I would have claimed a spot next to you.”
She appears dazed for a long moment, but recovers with a bit of bite to her words. “And then what? Why didn’t you make your feelings known back then? Not after I was committed to Dante?”
“I thought I had to keep my feelings inside. I thought I couldn’t have a relationship when I was Instant’s lackey and your team leader. I didn’t want you to feel pressured because of the position of authority I held over you. Then there was Kurtis. He wasn’t okay,” I curse. “No, not just him. We both weren’t doing well with the damage being done to our souls. But now, we have a chance at a life again.” I rub the back of my neck, feeling like an asshole even if I believe in what I’m saying. “I was trying to do the right thing and stay away. Besides, I didn’t want to step on Dante’s toes, especially if he made you happy. And I thought he could make you happier than I could. Until now.”
“Funny. You’re stepping on his toes now.”
Guilt eats at my soul. Am I fucking over my friend? Am I more damaged than I realize?
“I’m sorry. You’re right. I shouldn’t have overstepped.” I collect my tarot cards and avoid looking into her dark pools which see all of me. Which means she sees the bad, too.
That’s the blessing and curse with her—Tessa’s a person of substance. She can see past my walls. Maybe that’s why she wants Dante. He must have less fucked-up pieces of him than I do. Than Kurtis does.
As I wrap my cards up, I ask, “Can you ever forgive me?”
“Evan?” she calls, and I look up again. “We’re all trying our best. The reason we are in this house is that none of us made great life choices, but that doesn’t mean we can’t figure it out. You didn’t ruin anything with our friendship. Unless the option of being only my friend isn’t appealing to you.”
“Of course I want to be friends.” I stand and come around the table. “No matter what happens, I will be there for you.”
She slides her arms around my waist and gives me a tight hug. “Good. Because I sense we will all need our friendships for what’s coming.”
“ What’s coming ?” I reluctantly step back to study her face.
She looks a bit baffled. “I don’t know. Sometimes prophetic things just slip out of my mouth. But I can’t say I liked the sound of that one.”
“Neither did I.” I frown and nod to the stairs. “You going up?”
“Yeah. I need to check in with Dante to see how he’s doing. Earlier, he had the impression that I’m already hooking up with you and Kurtis.”
“Oh, yeah, I could see how he might have misinterpreted when Kurtis hinted we told you how we feel.”
“Hm…” She doesn’t sound pleased, but I don’t envy her having to deal with a jealous Dante. He’s intense. Passionate.
We make it up the stairs, and as we approach our set of rooms, Dante’s door flies open, and he glowers at me.
“What’s up?” he asks, with an accusation in his tone. His gaze falls poignantly onto Tessa’s door and then back at us.
“See you later, Evan,” she dismisses me, clearly seeing the potential for this to go to shit. She heads straight for Dante and slips into his room, pulling him inside.
The door snicks closed, and I wonder if I fucked it all up with my friends because I was greedy and wanted to finally have a chance at love in my life.