17. Making Memories
17
MAKING MEMORIES
TESSA
W hile our server places the drinks on our table, I watch Evan closely. All night he’s been confident and downright assertive, exampled by pumping his fingers into my pussy. I can’t say I’ve minded it. At all.
Normally, a first date wouldn’t go like that for me, but it doesn’t feel like a first date with him. We’ve been living together for a while. We’ve survived our battle in taking down a malevolent goddess. We’ve already danced, flirted, ate and drank together, played video games, and talked for hours about nonsense.
There’s a reason I’m so relaxed right now. I’m grateful Dante pulled me aside before I left with Evan and made it clear that he wanted me to explore what I have with the other two.
Dante is being so open about this, and it makes me want him even more. I’ve never had a guy in my life who wanted my happiness over everything else.
When I psychically searched his soul, I sensed Dante was actually intrigued by the idea of sharing me. Maybe turned on by the idea of watching me fuck Evan and Kurtis. It alleviates any guilt I was feeling about going out tonight.
Moving forward, I plan on making sure I keep the balance between them.
After the server takes our food order, Evan appears nervous. It’s a bit unsettling to see him suddenly uneasy.
“What’s wrong?” I ask. Glancing over my shoulder, I almost expect Instant to crash through the door and ruin our lives. Again.
Evan places his hand over mine. “Nothing’s wrong. I just have a bit of a confession to make and then we need to talk about how you feel about it.”
“That statement does nothing to settle my nerves,” I half joke, because inside I’m beginning to freak out. Expecting the worst, I close my eyes and wait for the other shoe to drop. Doesn’t it always drop for me? Just when I’m facing my fears and opening up my heart, there’s a catch. “Go on,” I say when he doesn’t just fucking say it.
“Sorry, Tessa. I didn’t mean to upset you.” Evan clears his throat, and I open my eyes to look at him again. “I hope I’m making a bigger deal of it than it needs to be.”
“Just get it out before I let my imagination take over,” I urge.
Evan’s chocolate-colored eyes lock onto mine. He brushes his hand through his perfect hair, mussing it. “I didn’t think I was going to have a chance with you. When I was commiserating with Kurtis about it, we sort of started something between us.”
He looks at me expectantly.
“ And …” I prompt.
“And?” He blinks in confusion. Then he recovers, thinking that I don’t get what he’s saying, and explains further, “Neither of us want it to interfere with our chances with you. We’ll put an end to it now if that’s what you want.” He cuts the air with his hand, like it’s final.
“Why?” I ask, being purposefully obtuse.
“Because we want you.”
“And you don’t want each other?” I crinkle my brow. Maybe I misread what I sensed between them since I’ve known them. “So what happened between you? Just something to pass the time?”
Evan rubs his face. “No. I think it was more than some meaningless hookup.”
I grab his hands in mine and call to him so he faces me again. “Evan?” When he focuses on me, I say, “If you have genuine feelings for each other, I want you to explore that.”
“But you?—”
I cut him off with a sad laugh. “You think it’s fair if I claim all three of you?”
“What are you saying?” he asks.
“From what I understand about polycules, we need to communicate about our needs, and often there are multiple pairings in a group. So as long as we all understand what’s happening, then I have no problem with you and Kurtis being together, too.”
“You don’t feel jealous? Or think we don’t really want you?”
“ Do you want me?” I ask, and I open my senses to detect any wavering of his emotions.
“More than seems rational.”
“Then let’s see where this all goes.” I lift my cocktail, and we toast to our new dynamic.
“I already knew about you two being intimate, by the way,” I confess.
Evan lets out a wry chuckle. “I should have realized as much.”
“It was hot… what I saw of it.” I lick my lips and his cheeks flush. “I couldn’t look away.”
“The gym?” he groans. “I thought I saw someone watching that day.”
“I didn’t mean to invade.” I play with the moisture gathered on my glass and feel a bit like a perv. “I meant to rush away immediately, but it was… hypnotizing.”
“Next time, I hope you join us. I know we would both enjoy having you sandwiched between us.” Evan’s hand slides off the table and down to my thigh. He pushes the silky fabric of my skirt up so my panties are showing.
Thankfully, this fancy place has tablecloths, and I use it to cover up what he’s doing.
“How would you like all three of us worshiping your curves at the same time?” His long fingers trail over the edge of my underwear.
I don’t spread my legs like I did in the car. I don’t think I could keep quiet if he slid inside me here.
I’m already worked up, and he knows it. The memory of how Evan had Kurtis on his knees. They were so powerfully beautiful. The way he fisted Kurtis’s blond hair as he fucked his mouth makes my clit throb.
Suddenly, I’m hungry for something more than dinner.
“Open for me,” Evan commands in a whisper.
His dominance is compelling. Fuck it. I give in, spreading my legs so he can gain access.
I still protest, “But the server?—”
“I’ll keep an eye out. And no one else can see us in this dark corner.” His finger slips underneath my lacy fabric, quickly finding my sensitive flesh. Circling my aching clit, he says, “I believe my little reaper enjoys a bit of exhibitionism. Any of these people could look over as I bring you to bliss with my hand alone. They’d know what a naughty woman you are, allowing a man to finger fuck you at a five-star restaurant. Damn, you’re so responsive to my touch.”
“Evan,” I breathe. My face and chest flush with need.
“Yes, love?” he smirks. “Did you want me to stop?”
I shake my head.
“Use your words.”
“I don’t think I can be quiet,” I grit out, trying to hold back my climax.
“You can do it.” Evan pumps his fingers into my entrance, and I suck in a breath. “But if you can’t, and we get kicked out of here, then I can offer you my cock to come all over.”
“Fuck,” I hiss low as he grinds the heel of his palm into my clit as he invades my pussy with his long fingers, finding my g-spot.
I’m clutching the tablecloth and breathing hard. It takes everything in me to keep quiet as I tremble with an orgasm that hits me hard and fast.
“So fucking beautiful,” Evan praises.
As I’m sagging back in my chair, the server waltzes up with a suppressed smile. “How are we doing over here?” He knows exactly what just happened.
For a brief second, feeling out of place in a restaurant like this, I think he’s going to politely ask us to get the fuck out. But when I read him, I know he just watched and enjoyed our little display… a lot.
“We’re excellent, thank you,” Evan answers for us as I try to calm my pulse.
“Your dishes should be out any moment,” Matthew alerts us and saunters off.
Evan licks his fingers clean of my juices and hums. “The reaper appetizer is to die for.”
Overwhelmed with emotion, I let out a groan at his pun, then a giggle. I’m not a giggler. But fuck if Evan’s insane antics don’t bring it out in me.
The rest of the dinner is low key comparatively. I go into more detail about my harrowing days on the streets as a teen, working as a psychic with my gifts, and what Carmen, aka Karma, taught me. He vaguely knows about all this, so I’m just filling in the gaps.
I’m intrigued to find out more about him. Evan grew up in a cold, but well-to-do family. He was estranged from them long before Instant ever came for him. He left his home right after he turned eighteen and graduated high school, putting himself through college as a business major.
“And you’ve never been tempted to contact them?” I ask.
“I broke off communication before I had my near-death Instant Karma employment.” He sips some of his dirty martini. “As we know, she only collected people who were alienated from their family and had little to no friends.”
“I can understand not wanting to rekindle a relationship with family. My mom’s gone, and I was done with my father since I ran away from home. I never had an extended family I could turn to.” I take a small bite of my potatoes, then say, “I don’t think I ever heard how you were forced into supernatural servitude.”
“Well, according to Instant, I was scheduled for my bloody death seven years ago. She claimed that I would have been shot coming out of a BDSM club. That other Dom was pissed I was playing with his submissive.”
“Was that part true?” I ask, fascinated to hear more about his naughty past.
“Well, I was playing with someone new. She said she was done with her former Dom. I only recently found out through Carmen… I mean, Karma, that I wasn’t supposed to die that day, but I was supposed to be attacked, beaten up pretty bad. Turns out, the woman had lied to me about her status. That seems to be a theme for me. Untrustworthy people trying to manipulate me.”
I pause to assess what he’s saying. Will he be able to get over his fears and be with me? Will he ever really trust me? And can I trust him?
How can two people, let alone four, come together and truly trust each other? Only time will tell if we can heal our wounds enough to be happy.
I angle the conversation back to the topic of our former goddess. “Instant seemed to stretch the truth on things involving our forced employment.”
“She told me I knew the sub was lying.” Evan frowns and pushes his food around on his plate with a fork. “And to be honest, I had a strong suspicion she was using me to make her ex jealous while they were on a break. I shouldn’t have accepted her offer to play until I cleared things up.”
I’m surprised by his candor, but I appreciate it. Moving forward with brutal honesty is how we will make this work.
“Why did you?” I ask.
Evan sighs. This isn’t easy for him to admit. “I was tired of life. I knew I was playing with fire. I didn’t care. Maybe I wanted someone to beat the fuck out of me.”
“And how are you feeling now? Are you tired of life?”
He cocks his brow at me, knowing where I’m leading him. “Tessa, wanting to be with you and pissing off Dante aren’t part of a death wish. In fact, I’m finally appreciating life since I have a new lease on it. I thought I only had three years left with my employment with Instant and I would die. But I was being drained the whole seven years I was working for her. Now I want to find happiness. I want love. And I feel I found that with you.”
“ Evan .” I come close to dropping my utensils. “Stop… you can’t be… don’t say things if you don’t mean them.” I struggle to get a hold of myself. I don’t know if I’m ready to love more than one person. I can barely deal with the fact I have Dante’s love, and now Evan’s too?
“I do mean it. I hope that doesn’t scare you off. I don’t want to lie and hide my emotions anymore. That was part of the appeal of my Dom persona. I want to be so in control that I allow nothing chaotic to leak through. I needed to have strict conditions in place so I could keep things simple.”
“I don’t want to hide anymore either,” I admit. “When you live rough like I did, you have to harden your heart and close it down to protect yourself. It’s a fight every day for survival. I’m only just starting to realize I don’t have to be on guard all the time.”
“Sounds like we have similar trauma, but from different backgrounds.”
At the end of our meal, Evan tells our server we’re skipping dessert since we have something off the menu in mind.
I blush as Matthew understands the innuendo. “Very good.”
Evan drives us to another location, a nondescript building. It looks well kept, but I can’t tell what sort of business it is from the exterior. But my first guess would be a sex club.
“Um, Evan, maybe you ease me into the lifestyle? Maybe on the second date?” Sure, in some ways, it feels like we’ve been dating for months. I know him. That’s why I had no problem with him finger banging me. “I don’t think I’m ready for sexhibitionism at this level.”
He barks out a laugh. “It’s not a sex club tonight. It’s a speakeasy. They often have burlesque shows, but that’s as rowdy as it gets on a Thursday.”
“Oh… oooh .” I smile, grabbing my purse from the floorboard. “That sounds like fun.”
Evan races around to open my passenger door, and I won’t lie, it’s nice to have such positive attention in my life.
I must have had a glow-up and didn’t even notice. Perhaps this whole discovering the gods are real world hasn’t been all that bad.
Honestly, I fit in better to this supernatural world than I ever did in the normal world.
I spent so much of my life hiding what I could do, masking my psychic gifts, and thinking I was some sort of freak. Well, I still might be unusual, but not in a bad way anymore.
Evan offers his hand again to help me out of the low-profile sports car. His hand drops to the small of my back, protectively and possessively.
His side is pressed to mine, and I lean into him, feeling the connection between us growing.
He glances down and smiles at me. “So… you’d be interested in eventually going to a sex club with me and playing?”
“I don’t think I could do a stage show or anything, but once we figure out what works for both of us, then I’d be a great voyeur.” Actually, I could really get into watching. The scene with Evan and Kurtis still gives me the tingles.
“They have private rooms with different themes too.” He winks.
Holy hell. My body is coming alive with all this sex talk, which I’m still unfamiliar with. I’ve had a lot of negative experiences with sex, but with Dante, and now Evan, I’m starting to reclaim my own sexual nature.
“Yesterday, I thought dating three guys at once was a lot,” I explain where I’m at with all this. “But now? I’m considering fucking all of you at once, and perhaps at a club.”
“I’m happy to hear that you’re considering it.” He gives my side a squeeze and his lips land on my neck, just below my ear. He nibbles, and I squeak.
A part of the door slides opens at eye level, like a proper secret hideout. “Password?”
“Rope Bunny.”
The door swings open and a huge, gorgeous bouncer waves us in. He’s wearing an all black suit, a scar over his brow, and a serious expression. “Hey, Master Von. I hope you and your guest have a lovely evening.”
Evan nods at the greeting, and well wishes, then guides me down a dark hallway. I can hear music beyond a set of doors at the end.
“Von?” I ask.
“My play name here,” he explains.
“Oh, I see… Do you come here a lot?”
“I made my rounds a few times a month when I worked for Instant,” he says casually as he slows his pace and stops.
“Oh shit, did you do jobs for her— here ?” I ask, wondering what kind of karma he unleashed for people that frequented this place.
“Nothing too big. But I outed people for being assholes.”
“So, did you fuck a lot of people here?” I try for nonchalant, but I doubt I nailed it. I never thought I’d be the jealous type, but now I understand wanting to keep someone or someones for myself. Perhaps commitment didn’t matter to me before when I didn’t really love the person I was dating, but now I’m in love with Dante and falling for Evan. If my budding feelings so far for Kurtis are an indication, I will fall for him, too.
“I never had my cock in anyone here, if that’s what you’re wondering. Just used… devices. My hand, on occasion, for spanking.” He pauses before we cross the club’s threshold. “I’ve been tested. I’m clear. And Kurtis is too.”
“I’m clear too. Dante, the same. And I’m on birth control.”
“Does that mean…” He raises his eyebrows.
“That I’m willing to go raw dogging?” I laugh. “Yeah.”
“I might have just come in my pants with that thought alone,” Evan jokes.
The doors open to a beautifully decorated, dimly lit space with plenty of dark alcoves and a stage in the far corner. There are chains and ropes hanging down.
A scantily dressed hostess greets us and shows us to a circular private booth with a high back and a view of the stage.
We snuggle as we watch the show, which mostly includes female performers with a couple of guys in the mix. There is a fun, whimsical vibe that puts me at ease. Yet, the beautiful bodies on display make me want to explore Evan’s.
I’ve seen him shirtless, but briefly, in passing in our communal bathroom. I never let my gaze linger too long. I never wanted to make it weird with the guys I worked with. First, because I didn’t want them to think I was interested. And then, after I hooked up with Dante, I didn’t want Dante to feel like I was still on the market. But fuck, is that what I am now? Still in shopping mode? Does that mean that Dante doesn’t really want me, since he isn’t being possessive anymore? Shit. My insecurities are bubbling up again.
I shake off my doubts and worries and focus on the man next to me. I appreciate how his dress shirt hugs his muscles perfectly. I realize even when Evan works out, he wears a t-shirt—unlike Dante, who flaunts his body whenever I’m around.
From what I can determine, he’s well-built and by the way Kurtis was gagging on his cock, he’s well-endowed too.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Evan skims my temple with his lips. It’s not quite a kiss.
Holy hell. He’s had his fingers in my pussy before we’ve even properly kissed?
Oh, well, we threw convention out the window a long time ago.
“I was wondering what your body looks like naked, and how you’ve brought me to an orgasm before you’ve even kissed me.”
Evan cups my face, his dark eyes watching my lips. “I want to kiss you now, but I don’t think I want our first kiss to be in front of a guy twirling a yo-yo with his dick.”
I burst out in laughter, because yep, I turn to see that unusual and mesmerizing sight.
“Then maybe we should go find somewhere else to make memories,” I suggest.