21. Stars and Chill
21
STARS AND CHILL
KURTIS
T essa’s smile could light up an entire city. I love that I put that gleeful expression on her face. I know she said I don’t have to bring anything but myself to the table, but that’s debatable. I need to offer her something the others don’t. Otherwise, why have me at all?
One guy is plenty, two is probably too much, and three is plain redundant.
Dante is her sensitive, empathic dude. I’m sure he fucks like a pro, too.
And Evan offers her a strong shoulder, someone she knows she can rely on in a storm. He will bring his own dominant style and charm to spice up the bedroom.
What do I have? I doubt I’m a memorable fuck.
I couldn’t even keep a girlfriend before Instant stole my life. Probably because I’m too much. And yet, still I’m not enough.
My parents abandoned me long before they died. Neglectful would be an understatement.
I was never good enough for them. Never worth more than their addictions.
Perhaps I’m not unique and everyone feels like they won’t be loved on some level. No matter how amazing or attractive they are.
Sad.
The way Tessa kisses me on the Ferris wheel, it feels like love for me… or the beginnings of it.
Her reassurance that I’m healing lifts my spirits more than I can say in words.
I’m going to be okay. Maybe one day I will be good enough to deserve her love.
And right now, she just likes me for me.
Tessa has seen the uglier parts of me. She’s experienced some of my worst moments. But she’s kissing me, forgiving me for being an ass.
That forgiveness means more coming from her. She had a rough childhood, and she knows the scars it leaves—seen and unseen. I doubt forgiving comes easily.
We break away from the kiss and just sit, forehead to forehead, immersed in the other person.
Have I really ever had that?
No, not even with Evan, not yet anyway.
This connection with Tessa is rooting inside me, soul deep. If she leaves me, I’ll never recover.
“Tessa?” I fall into her hypnotic eyes. “Did you feel that?”
“I did.” She initiates a kiss with me, and I swear my heart explodes with joy.
The Ferris wheel was more than I ever hoped for. We run through some of the other carnie games and rides. Tessa teaches me some tricks of the hustler’s trade she learned in her former adventures in life.
“I admire you,” I tell her as we take a bite of the cotton candy I insisted I buy for her. “You’ve experienced so much, surviving your rough start in life like a badass.”
“The alternative wasn’t an option. If I allowed myself to get depressed, I don’t think I would have lasted beyond my teens. I’d probably have drank myself to death or gotten into a situation I couldn’t get out of.”
As she shares more of herself, I remember I need to do the same. She should know all the darkness so she can make an educated decision to take this further.
“My parents were druggies,” I confide for the first time in my life. “I never wanted to be like them, but I’ve used alcohol to numb my pain. So I suppose I’m not much better.”
“Don’t say that.” Tessa takes my arm as we walk. “From what I sensed in my life and some studies are suggesting is that addiction is often linked to loss of connection. Loneliness is a mind fuck. I fell into the dark pit a few times.”
“I don’t want to hurt you, like how I was hurt.”
“Then we keep talking. Keep being honest,” she says like it’s the simplest thing in the world. In theory, it is. But people aren’t taught how to be truly open. Especially guys.
“Yeah, I suppose I’ve only just started to feel a genuine connection with you and Evan. I was in Instant’s employment for six years, cut off from the rest of the world in many ways. Evan only started talking about real stuff when you joined our ranks. And now, when we bonded over our feelings for you, we…”
“And now you’re deepening the physical aspect too?” she prompts when I trail off. “Does that scare you, being close to people?”
“It’s more than just being closer,” I explain. “I’m feeling more than just physical attraction and friendship. I’m afraid of handing over my heart to someone and it isn’t as meaningful to them.”
“Makes sense. I feel the same way about all this with the three of you.” Her fingers linked with mine tighten.
We finish our candy and toss the paper in the trash just as we exit out of the front gates of the event.
“You don’t have to answer me but is he your first guy?” she asks as we find our car.
Her voice is hesitant. I hear the worry that she might upset me. Make me angry. That hesitation triggers me. She should never feel the need to hold back with me. If she does, that’s my fault.
I pull her to a stop just as we reach the SUV’s passenger door. “I never want there to be secrets between us. So please, ask me anything and everything. I don’t want to be someone you have to walk on eggshells to be around.”
Her eyes widen, then she softens, leaning into my touch. “I always had to watch what I said around my dad, and again, with a string of shitty guys.”
“I’ll kick my own ass if I ever make you feel that way,” I promise vehemently. I throw my leg back and knock my butt. When she chuckles at that, I answer her previous question. “Yes, Evan’s my first time with a guy. I never allowed myself to entertain the idea of being gay or bi.”
“Then be easy on yourself. This…” She points to me, and herself, then does a looping circle in the air. “With them too. It’s all new to all of us. So I’ll be as honest with you as I possibly can. It isn’t in my nature to be trusting and open—to volunteer my inner self and thoughts. I’m trying though.”
Compared to me, she seems like an open book. I find it oddly comforting to know I’m not the only one struggling with being in a relationship.
I give her a peck on the lips and open her door.
We drive back toward the mansion, but before we get to our driveway, I pull over between some trees at the vacant lot next door.
Tessa looks at me with a confused expression. “Where are we going? The Club ?” She uses the code word for her sacred circle we used when we were plotting against Instant.
It’s also the place where I died, and she brought me back.
“It’s a surprise!” I jump out of the car and guide her back to our hidden spot.
She sucks in a gasp as she sees what I’ve done with the space. There’s a canvas tent, lit up with battery operated fairy lights. One of the mansion’s fancy wooden chaise lounge chairs that’s wide enough for two people. A snuggly throw and pillows are set and ready for us on top.
I suddenly realize she might not have wanted a bunch of shit in her sacred circle, no matter the intention. “Is this okay?”
“It’s perfect!” She tugs on my hand excitedly, and we both rush forward.
Tessa peeks inside the tent and finds a bed palate, cushy sleeping bags, and a bunch of pillows. “Aw! Kurtis, this is so romantic.”
“I hoped we could watch the meteor shower that’s going on tonight and just chill.”
Her eyes lift to take in the starry night. “I thought I saw a few earlier.”
The city lights don’t pollute the darkness here. With the moon gone, the only light is from a few lanterns and the fairy lights around the tent.
I have a bottle of wine and some glasses ready on an end table by the lounger.
“Get comfortable, and I’ll turn off some of the lights so we can watch nature’s show.”
She happily reclines on the chaise, while I open the wine and pour a glass for both of us, handing one to her.
“Oh wait. I thought you weren’t drinking anymore,” she comments, without judgment. “We had margaritas earlier, too.” Her eyes are wide and she shakes her head. “I’m a bad influence on you.”
Chuckling, as if that could ever be the case, I explain, “The drinks earlier were basically slushies. I figured a glass of wine sipped while enjoying my time with you isn’t a big deal. It’s not like before when I’ve downed a row of shots and gotten blind drunk to escape my problems. That isn’t me anymore.”
“True. Everything in moderation,” she agrees and clinks my glass with hers.
I hurry to turn out the lights, only leaving a lantern on the lowest setting inside the tent. As it is, we can barely see beyond our noses, it’s just enough not to trip on something and hurt ourselves.
I crawl up next to Tessa and pull the blanket over us. It’s not cold, but there’s enough of a chill in the air. Besides, I like the feel of being snuggled up with her. It feels blissfully domestic. I’ve never dreamed I’d get something like this in my life.
Tessa hands me my wine and then pulls my arm over her shoulders so she can tuck against my chest. She can probably hear how wildly it’s beating being so close to her. I wish I could freeze this moment in time and live here. Her body perfectly fits against mine. Soft curves light up my spirit where they press against me.
A huge meteor slices above our heads, and we both shout in awe as if we are at a concert with fireworks.
“What a great idea,” Tessa praises me, and my chest fills with pride.
I finally did something right.
We watch the light show and laugh and talk, slowly sipping our wine. I don’t think I’ve ever had a better night in my life.
I kiss her again, and she sets down her glass.
Her hand dips down to my jeans, and she pops the button and unzips me, her hand slipping under my briefs. I’m hard as a fucking pipe.
“Wait.” I grasp her wrist, stopping her.
“Oh, fuck. I’m sorry.” She freezes. “I thought…”
“I do want to…” I really fucking want to. “But you don’t have to do anything with me tonight.”
“I know.” Then she moves from my hold, and her soft fingers stroke along my shaft.
I almost unload right then, like a teenage boy with his first erection and a strong breeze.
I caress the side of her face. Then I move lower slowly until my lips skimming over her breast through the fabric of her dress. When she responds and arches into my touch, I cup her ample tit and squeeze.
My thumb brushes over her hard nipple, and my hips buck into her circled fist, gripped around my cock. I dip my head down and tug her top down with my teeth and sample her perfect breasts.
We’re moaning and grinding in a dance as old as time. But I crave more.
I can’t hold back, so I slip down, disappearing under the blanket. Then I knock it lower. I need to see every inch of her beautiful flesh as it glows in the starlight.
After pulling her dress up to her hips, I hook my fingers over her panty straps.
“May I taste you? Please.”
“Yes,” she breathes out in a whisper. She lifts her hips.
I pull down her lacy panties and stuff them in my pocket. Yeah, I’m stealing them as a memento.
Her legs fall open for me, and the light is just enough to see her glistening center. I kiss up her thick inner thigh and finally land a kiss on her pussy. My tongue darts out and catches the flavor of her. Wildflowers.
She whimpers with need.
I grip her legs and devour her slick arousal. She is writhing on my face and pulling my hair to guide me where she wants me most. I use my nose to bump her clit and tongue fuck her hole. She’s falling apart for me, and I want to gift her the world’s record for orgasms.
I’ve never been really into going down on a woman, but damn, I could live here if these are the sweet noises I can rip from her throat.
Tessa clenches around my tongue. Then I suck her clit hard to prolong her pleasure. She is panting my name, and I want to sink into her cunt so badly.
“Give me one more, sweetness,” I plead as I slip my fingers into her, and she cries out in pleasure when I work her g-spot to another climax.
I’m almost dizzy from how much blood is in my obscenely engorged cock right now.
I crawl up her body and cup her tits so I can swipe my tongue over both easily. Biting and sucking until she’s whimpering again.
“I want to…”
“Fuck me,” she begs.
“Tessa,” I say with concern. “I didn’t want to make this night about getting in your pants… or pussy.”
“I know. I want this as much as you do.”
“I doubt it, but I get your meaning.” I grin.
She pulls her dress over her head to bare herself completely.
Goddess, she is a vision.
The lantern illuminates just enough of her beautiful body. Though she seems to glow all on her own. I wonder briefly if that’s a power she has. She is a sort of demigod.
I stand up and strip down to nothing.
Her dark eyes light up as she takes in the sight of my large cock and body. That’s at least one thing I can offer her. My body and my cock are well built. Now to put them to good use and please her.
When I approach the chaise, she takes my cock in hand and gently strokes down to my balls. I almost lose it and cum on her face, but thankfully I hold back.
She looks up at me in awe. “You’re beautiful.”
I blushed at her words. I never thought anyone would say that to me. And fuck if it doesn’t make my heart swell with emotion.
“You’re more beautiful,” I counter.
She licks the head of my cock, and I whimper.
“I… I don’t think I’m gonna last long with that fucking sexy mouth on me, sweetness.”
“Then we do it again.”
Oh, hell, she’s perfect.
“But I want to come inside your pretty pussy.”
She lays back and spreads her legs for me, crooking her finger to have me on top of her.
Slowly, I crawl up her curvy body and kiss every spot that calls to me… which is a lot of places. She’s writhing and needy by the time my body covers hers.
My cock naturally notches at her opening. Just that simple contact with her bare wetness has me ready to blow. I focus on her eyes, then give her a gentle kiss as I press inside, taking my sweet time, enjoying every precious inch of our connection.
I’m giving her pussy a moment to adjust. I don’t want to hurt her.
When my hips finally meet hers, we both suck in a breath.
I pull back and begin to pump inside her, my fingertips fondling her pussy lips and clit. Her head falls back in bliss, moaning my name.
My name never sounded so good.
Her pussy clamps down, milking me, and we both shout, coming at the same moment.
I always thought the idea of simultaneous orgasms was a bullshit fairytale, but fuck, was I wrong.
Cradling her soft body in my arms, I nest my face at the crook of her neck, my cock beginning to soften and slip out.
She shivers as the cool night air finally chills us. With a quick peck, she uses her magic and pulls me through space to land in the bathroom in the mansion.
Fortunately, the strange, unsettling sensation of Death’s magic quickly fades.
Tessa points to the private toilets, and we separate briefly to pee. We find each other at the sinks, completely naked, and we wash our hands.
My eyes can’t stop admiring her curves in the brighter light. And she watches me with a keen interest in the mirror. I love that she enjoys the way my body looks.
Sauntering up behind her, I slide my hands over her breasts and tweak her nipples. “Ready for round two, my goddess?”
Her answer is to pop us back into the tent.
Holy shit. I’m definitely in love.