30. Not Enough
30
NOT ENOUGH
TESSA
I ’m losing this battle… again.
Every time I get knocked back, I think of my guys, vulnerable to her evil ways, and I find another wave of energy to attack.
But Instant is a wily sort. Just when I think I have a hold of her, she slips away and beats me back. I’ve been in and out of the darkness. Gathering strength and bubbling to the surface to fight and then plunging into limbo repeatedly. I can tell she’s weakening.
My only fear is that she’ll use my guys to power up. If she destroys them, I will lose my motivation to go on.
We fight on the boardwalk for what feels like hours, but perhaps it’s only minutes in the real world.
Plunged into the darkness, I struggle to reclaim my body again. Then I hear her talking with the guys. She’s pretending to be me. That I’ve won and have returned to them.
Eventually, I can see a fuzzy sight… they don’t seem to be jumping into her arms in joy. They know. They can sense it’s not me running the show.
Or at least, I hope that’s what has them pulling away.
“Tessa, you should have told us right away when you sensed something was wrong.” Kurtis is practically yelling. Part of him is frustrated that I didn’t come back after those upsetting texts to talk it out.
That was my own insecurity getting the better of me. I expected the worst for my life. I allowed confusion to wear me down, making me vulnerable. And now, here I am. Fucked.
“So you are going to be mad at me forever?” Instant yells back, using me like a puppet.
“You’ve made a mess of things. I don’t think I can forgive you.” Evan chimes in, glaring at me—no, at Instant.
I feel her energy faltering. Their emotional attacks are weakening her. Good.
Then power trickles into me. But how? My attention catches on Dante then. He’s been quiet. When I take a hard look, he appears to be in some sort of trance. Is he sending me energy?
Using that little boost, I pull on her cosmic energy, hoping to finally capture her this time.
Instant snarls at them, “Fuck this.”
She transports me to the rocky, narrow beach below her property. I’m sure it’s the farthest she can go because of how weak she is.
But I don’t have enough strength to fight either. I’m being drained too fast.
Then I feel it… my energy returning, flowing into me. Yet, it seems to be more than that. It feels like raw power. I follow the thread down and sense all three of my guys on the other end, completely focused on me now. My soul.
Are they… praying? Believing in me?
Holy shit.
A glow fills my astral vision. Their ability to channel their devotion is incredible. It makes sense why Instant wants them as her devotees.
I gather the energy and become one with it. Then I reach out and grab hold of Instant.
I’ve weakened her enough that with my enhanced power, I can gather her up in my grasp. I fold her energy onto itself, compressing her into a ball of fractured light, containing her the best I can.
“Now!” I shout to Hypnos when her essence is the size of a basketball.
I’m transported to the dreamscape, into Hypnos’s cavern.
His hands are open, ready to receive her.
I place Instant in his hands and leave mine on top to keep her trapped.
I fear this won’t work, so I ask again, “Are you sure that you can create a believable world for her?”
“Yes. And the instant karma energy she uses to power herself will be enough to maintain the simulation.”
The simulation where we will imprison Instant with her ultimate fantasy—conquering the world.
Hypnos promised me he’d keep an eye on her and give her just enough challenge and realism that she never questions whether this dreamscape is real. Perhaps one day, she’ll conquer this simulated universe.
A glass-like globe encircles her energy, trapping her inside. Slowly, it shrinks until it’s the size of a golf ball.
“I have her.” Hypnos turns his attention to me. “See if you can regain your body. Find your loves.”
“Thank you.” I’m overcome with relief, and I give him a hug that makes his eyes widen with surprise. I’m shocking myself as well. “I hope you find your love soon.”
“Thank you for giving me hope, little reaper.” He grins wickedly. “Or should I say Little Goddess ?”
Before I can ask what he means, he touches my forehead.
Then I’m opening my eyes in my own body. I can’t move. I’m collapsed on the wet sand, the water splashing over my feet. With each wave, I realize the tide’s coming in, and I’m stuck. The jagged cliff leading up to Karma’s mansion is behind my head. I try to pop away and to safety, but I can’t seem to summon my magic.
I’m utterly drained.
Fuck. I’m about to drown after all that?
I reach out to Death. Wouldn’t he be able to hear me?
But he doesn’t appear.
Tears fall from my eyes, mixing with the salty ocean.
I focus on drawing energy into my body, and finally, I can wiggle my fingers, then my arms. I pull myself up a bit, but I’m not recovering fast enough. At this rate, the water will overtake me, smashing me against the rocks.
I call out to my guys, my voice coming out weak and raspy. Then, in the slim chance they might feel me, I reach out psychically.
“Dante, I love you so fucking much. You healed me enough that I could let my walls down and let in your love. Thank you for giving me that gift. Evan, thank you for lowering your walls so that our souls could touch, and I could experience the wonder that you are. I wish we had more time. Kurtis, thank you for making me laugh and find joy in life again. Just one night with you helped mend my inner child.”
Waves splash over my chest as I brace against the base of the rock cliff. Saltwater gets into my nostrils and mouth. I sputter, trying to find the power within me to transport out. I clamp my eyelids shut as the salt burns my eyes.
“Tessa!” I hear three voices ring out.
Is it real? Am I wishing so desperately to have them here that I imagine I’m hearing them? Or perhaps they’re calling out through my mind, trying to find me.
I’m lifted by the ocean’s power. Floating, floating. Surrounded by the cold pressure of the pounding surf.
Strong arms wrap around me.
Then I feel a hard, flat surface underneath me. Hands pat up and down my body. A large pair holds my face, tapping my cheek.
“Tessa?” Dante calls out in agony. “Is she breathing?”
I’m rolled to my side. Pounding on my back.
Water ejects from my lungs, and I gasp in a breath.
“Tessa!” Evan grips me to his chest.