Chapter Twenty-three
I open my eyes, squinting in the sudden brightness.
Where am I?
Glancing over, I see Liam, sleeves rolled up over forearms, one hand on the steering wheel, one arm leaned in the window.
Right. We’re headed to his cabin.
Then I take in the view. ‘Oh my God,’ I say, slowly straightening my seat back after my two-hour nap.
We’re driving down a hill and the lake is ahead, at the end of the road, sparkling through the trees.
The sky is blue, the trees are a saturated green and it’s all impossibly, exuberantly beautiful.
Liam grins and gives me a sideways glance. ‘I knew you’d love it. And good morning, by the way. Good nap?’
‘Incredible.’
From the hill, he takes a left on to a private dirt road, heavily wooded on either side.
After a minute or two, he turns into a private driveway that cuts through the trees.
We pass a small utility shed, and then the cabin comes into sight.
He pulls to a stop behind it. Bleached, sandy-colored logs make the structure seem at home in its surroundings.
The pitched slate roof promises tall ceilings, and I can’t wait to get inside and see the view of the water.
We get out of the car at the same time, and the warm, fresh air rushes over me.
I fill my lungs. I can already hear the crashing sound of the waves, even though the beach isn’t visible from back here.
Liam pops the trunk, we grab our overnight bags and head toward the door, our feet crunching over gravel.
He unlocks the door and gestures for me to go in first. We dump our bags in the entry, then head up a set of pale pine stairs to reach the main level.
The second we’re there, I’m in heaven. It’s an open-concept space with a small kitchen and a large living room.
A comfortable L-shaped couch is the main feature, and a stone fireplace promises cozy evenings.
But the best part is the huge glass sliding door that occupies the entire east-facing wall, framing the incredible view of the beach and the lake with the radiant summer sky arched over it all.
‘Liam! This is insane!’ I whack him in the arm.
‘I know.’ He flashes me an unapologetic grin, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
‘Seriously, how can you afford this? I’m twenty-six and I can barely scrape rent together.’
He shrugs, like it’s nothing. ‘I got an incredible deal on it – and I’ve been lucky in my career. We’ll have to walk down the beach so you can see the other places and get some perspective. My cabin is the most modest place on this stretch.’
I mean, OK. But though it’s small and all the space is used efficiently, there is nothing modest about this space or the decor, from the beautiful wood floors to the soaring pitched ceilings to the state-of-the-art appliances.
‘How about I whip us up some lunch?’ he says. ‘Do you like eggs?’
I laugh. ‘I’ll eat anything except lasagna.’
Suddenly, Liam captures me from behind, making me jump even as his strong arms lock me close to him.
‘You scared me,’ I say with a breathless laugh.
‘Mmmm, well, you scare me.’
‘What? Me?’
‘I told you. You’ve done something to me.’
Well, he’s certainly done something to me too. I let myself relax into his torso as we sway back and forth.
‘The bedroom’s downstairs, if you want to get settled,’ he says.
‘Well I can’t go downstairs if you’re holding me in a death grip.’ I crane my head around and land a kiss on his scruffy cheek. ‘I didn’t know you could sing, by the way.’
His voice goes gruff. ‘I have a whole slew of talents I can’t wait to introduce you to.’
‘That sounds dirty,’ I laugh, but a warm little rush goes up my middle.
‘Oh, it is,’ he murmurs, burying his nose in my neck.
After another minute of cuddling, I unwrap his arms. ‘Eggs.’
‘Coming right up.’
I go back downstairs to drop my bag in the single bedroom.
I check out the bathroom, which is small but impeccably tidy.
There is one other door, which I open. Ah – the utility room.
I flick on the light. I can hear Liam walking around upstairs as I take in the space.
A stacked washer and dryer. A water heater. Some storage boxes. And … a freezer.
Oh, fuck.
For a minute, I just stare at it. Large and white, wedged between the washer-dryer and the back wall.
I shove a hand in my crossbody purse and find the comforting contact of my phone.
911 is just a call away … though, do I know the address to tell them to come to?
Nope. I didn’t see a road name when we made that turn off the main road.
OK. If I’m about to make a horrific discovery, at least Liam is upstairs. Even now, I can hear him clattering around on the stove. I won’t scream. I’ll just dash out the back door and run while I dial 911 and try to ascertain the name of the road.
I stare at the freezer for another few seconds as I try to rev myself up to do the deed.
Gah! I just have to open it!
I surge forward, grab the lid and flip it up.
No way.
What am I even looking at?? It’s a completely chaotic jumble of …
camping gear? I pluck at a pile of blue vinyl, then pull it out.
A few poles clatter out too. Beneath that, a camping stove lies flat against the bottom, and other gear is piled around.
A couple lanterns, a hiking backpack, a canteen.
I rummage to the bottom, because I have to be one hundred per cent sure there is no body or body part under here … though considering the freezer isn’t actually cold, it would smell really bad by now …
‘Margot?’
‘Ack!’ I scream, spinning with a tent pole in my hand.
Liam pokes his head in, looking worried. ‘What are you doing in here?’
‘Oh …’ I gesture to the tent poles that are now rolling around the floor.
‘Well, I was checking out the laundry facilities, and I saw your deep freezer! And at first, I was hoping you were going to surprise me with half a cow! But then I realized I could really use a lantern tonight, you know, when it gets dark, so I hope it’s OK that …
’ I reach back into the freezer and grab the lantern. ‘Sorry I made a mess?’
His face breaks into a smile. ‘Yeah, the freezer hasn’t ever worked. The old owners left it here. It’s a glorified storage chest at this point. But by all means, help yourself to the lantern. Or the tent, if you’re in the mood to sleep outside.’
At this point, I drop the lantern and tent pole back into the freezer and fling my arms around Liam’s neck. He makes a gentle ‘oof’ sound, then surrounds me with his arms.
I let myself really feel the solidity of his body. Inhale his scent. Feel those arms I’m so obsessed with as they press tight around me.
‘You OK?’ he says.
‘Better than OK,’ I say into the crook of his neck.
*
The day passes in a haze of delight. We eat eggs with fresh tomato and chives for brunch, we talk about our favorite dining spots in Chicago and shoot the shit about the latest Marvel movie.
Then I take a three-hour nap on the couch.
I wake up refreshed. Liam sets out a charcuterie board for an early dinner, and we sit on the deck and watch the waves roll in as we snack on a Basque goat cheese, a soft French cheese, cured meat, olives and nuts.
The whole time, in the back of my mind, I’m thinking could this be my life?
Dating Liam, doing our weeks in the city and spending weekends out here at the cabin?
It seems too good to be true that all this could be mine, and more than once, I feel my heart tightening with some emotion I can’t even name. Is this what happiness feels like?
After we’ve demolished the charcuterie, we roll up our jeans and take a long walk up the beach in the fading light of day. We give every house a tackiness score.
‘Oh, ten out of ten for trying too hard,’ I say, pointing to a house with stone columns and a turret.
I point to the next one. ‘Eight. Too fussy.’ It has trim for days, a pagoda in the side yard and a scrolling iron archway leading from the yard to the beach.
‘Your cabin is obviously perfection. These rich people have no taste.’
‘Well this one’s perfect,’ says Liam, but when I look at him, he’s not looking at any houses. He’s looking at me.
We hold hands as we walk, occasionally pausing to dip our feet into the water and look out over the horizon. If George saw me now, taking a romantic walk on the beach with my boyfriend, she’d freak. I mean, I’m on the edge of freaking.
Is this what other people’s lives are like? Just … full of simple delight?
‘I barely know anything about your past,’ I say as we walk, skirting shells and a few piles of seaweed. ‘Your family. Tell me about them.’
‘Mmm. There’s actually something pretty big from my past that we’ve never talked about.’
‘Oh?’
‘My, uh …’ He runs his free hand through his hair and looks down. ‘My older sister, Janie.’ He forces himself to look at me, his gray eyes clear, but intense. ‘She went missing when I was ten.’
‘Oh, no, Liam. I’m so sorry!’
His mouth twists. ‘It’s been eighteen years, but the pain never goes away. You know?’
I firm my grip on his hand, because I know. A wave rolls up, frothing over our ankles, as we walk the line that separates sand and water.
‘There was an age gap – she was six years older. But we had an incredible relationship. She was my best friend. I’d tell her about all my ten-year-old woes and obsessions and what-have-yous.
And then, one day, she went to the corner gas station because we were out of milk. ’ Liam swallows. ‘She never came back.’
‘Liam,’ I breathe.
I feel like I’m seeing into his soul. I’ve never been so certain that this man is not a serial killer. In fact, all of my theories now seem ridiculous.
‘My parents never got over it. They live in a retirement community now in Portage Park. I visit them once a month, but it’s like they shut down eighteen years ago when Janie went missing. I don’t think they ever started living again.’