Chapter Thirty-six #2
‘I thought maybe I’d mix some of her blood with the paint.
But then it hit me – ashes would be perfect to add dimensionality, that something extra.
I didn’t need a lot of ashes, just enough so the texture would really help it all come alive.
I couldn’t let Kayleigh go at that point anyway.
She’d turn me in. So I killed her and chopped off her foot. ’
‘Why her foot?’ I whisper.
She smiles with her lips but not her eyes.
‘Easy to slip into work with. It fit in my purse. But it felt symbolic too. Kayleigh had all this religious shit on her socials. There was this verse she posted that caught my eye … Something about “how beautiful are the feet of him that brings good news.” She did the opposite. She brought hatred with her. So it seemed poetic. Deedee taught me how to use the retorts, and I was right. The painting was magnificent. I knew this was finally it.’ Her lips are no longer smiling.
Her eyes are glossy, though no more tears fall.
‘The problem was, now there were people looking for her. So we had to keep her body in Deedee’s deep freezer until the police lost interest.’
‘Zoe—’ I gasp, because it’s too horrible, but she’s not done.
‘That would have been it. I swear. But the gallery loved the first one. They wanted more.’ Her face glows with a strange radiance. ‘Three more. A series of four. It was the biggest opportunity I’d ever been given.’
Oh, God. No. Simon … if he’d known what he did, asking for more …
‘Then I met Crystal.’ Zoe licks her cracked lips again. ‘I knew right away she was perfect for my second subject. The way she described the submissive lifestyle—’ Her mouth curls. ‘She deserved to be silenced. It’s what she wanted anyway, deep down.’
I feel sick with compassion. Sick with revulsion. Tears pour out of me, hot tears that burn my skin. I want to make it better. But it’s too late.
‘Why are you crying?’ asks Zoe, as if noticing me for the first time in a while.
‘Because you killed them,’ I repeat in a ragged sob. ‘Because you’re not who I thought you were.’
‘Haven’t you listened to anything I’ve just said?
’ Zoe implores. ‘Margot, they were traitors! Turncoats! They were anti-woman! Anti-us!’ She shifts her weight between the crutches.
‘Yes, I killed them. I did it for me. I did it to create the most meaningful, impactful art I’ve ever made.
But, Margot, I did it for you too. And for women.
If we’re ever going to rise up against the patriarchy, we need a sisterhood of allies, OK?
And if you’re not an ally, you’re not just complicit.
You’re the enemy. You have to understand! ’
‘No!’ I cry. ‘Can’t you see how fucked up this is? You’re murdering women just because they’re different from you! Zoe, that’s controlling! You’re doing the exact thing you hate! We have to have the space to – to – fucking try different things! To be ourselves! Even to be wrong!’
Zoe’s eyes are spitting fire. ‘You know what’s becoming obvious to me right now? Your fucking privilege, Margot. You have no idea what oppression truly tastes like.’
I release a bitter laugh. ‘And you do? Oh my God, your view of yourself as some kind of victim of the world is so screwed up! You had it all, and you can’t even see it!’
Brooke groans again. Time is ticking.
‘What did you do to her and Liam?’ I say, crouching by Brooke and touching her forehead. It’s alarmingly cool. I have to get us out of here, away from Zoe.
‘Just a sedative. I still need her. Her portrait isn’t done. It’s called Bread. It’s going to be incredible when I’m finished. But I will have to kill Liam. Now that he knows.’
‘Zoe!’ I stand back up. ‘No! You can’t do that! He’s a good person. You have to let me take him and Brooke to the hospital. Now.’
‘They know too much.’ Her lip trembles, her expression turns pitiful and she sags on her crutches. ‘I’d go to prison. And I can’t – I can’t be caged, Margot. I can’t let them put me away. I can’t risk it.’
‘How did you think this was going to end?’ A sudden, hot anger rolls over me. ‘What was your big plan? To keep killing people while you hide out in Devin’s house forever? What kind of a life is this?’
‘I just wanted to complete the series,’ she pleads.
‘This is all your fault! I never wanted to hide out here – or anywhere. But I had to, when I realized you were on to me.’ She smiles suddenly.
‘But hiding out here has turned out to be the best thing that could’ve happened to me, because I was right, Margot.
My pieces are getting a ton of attention.
I had Devin drop them at the gallery. Have you heard there’s a bidding war? ’
‘I wasn’t onto you, Zoe. How could I ever have imagined you’d do this?’
She ignores me. ‘I’m going to use the art money to buy a new identity and start over. I like the name Hillary. That’s nice, isn’t it? Hillary Mueller, or maybe Hillary Hodge. What do you think?’
She’s talking like this is all so rational, but it’s not. She’s tipped over the edge and there’s nothing I can do to pull her back.
‘You have to let me leave,’ I say, trying to make my voice sound calm and in control. Also, I need to get my stun gun ready. My purse is still slung over my body. Discreetly, I slip my hand inside. ‘Let me walk away with Brooke and Liam.’
‘No.’
‘Let us leave, and I’ll give you a twenty-four-hour lead time before alerting the authorities.’ My fingers fumble inside my purse. Where is it? How much shit do I still have in here? ‘You can get a head start.’
‘No.’
I grit my teeth. ‘So what – you’re going to kill me too, your best friend, so you don’t have to be accountable for your crimes?’
‘Of course I don’t want to kill you!’ she says.
‘I love you, Margot. You’re a good person.
You’re an ally, even if you don’t fully get what I’ve done.
I’ve got your back, and I know you’ve got mine.
This is what’s going to happen. You’re going to promise me on your life you’ll never tell anyone what you saw here.
I’ll have to dispose of the PI, and Brooke will have to go once her painting is finished, but who cares?
I let you walk away, and you let me walk away.
We can have each other’s backs one last time.
Maybe we can reconnect when I’m Hillary.
Hillary hasn’t killed anyone. It can be just like the good old days. ’
I blink once, twice. I can barely comprehend how she thinks this is what’s going to happen. My hand finally closes around the stun gun.
‘No way in hell am I walking out of here without Liam and Brooke.’
‘Fuck, Margot.’ She droops on her crutches for a moment and breathes, the ropy muscles of her arms flexing. Finally, she lifts her head and speaks in a sad voice. ‘I’ll have to kill you too, then.’
My heartbeat thrashes against my ribs.
No. She wouldn’t. I can’t believe it.
But maybe I need to start believing it, if I’m going to get out of here alive.
I look at my friend, who I barely recognize. She really is skin and bones. She’s literally amputated her own foot. She’s certainly not in good health. I could probably take her out.
And that’s what I’m going to do.
I lunge toward her, stun gun in hand, but someone else explodes into the room from behind Zoe. Pain bursts in my head.
I fall back.
The ceiling blinks in and out.
‘Sorry, babe,’ says Zoe’s voice. It sounds like it’s coming from very, very far away. ‘You forgot about Deedee.’